Monday, July 14, 2014

Diving In by Kate Cann


Title: Diving In
Author: Kate Cann
Publisher: Bolinda Audio Books
Rating: WARTY!

Obnoxiously read by Amanda Hulme

Please note that I found Amanda Hulme's reading voice to reside just south of nauseating, so my review of this novel is undoubtedly colored somewhat by that. I will try not to let that get in the way of reviewing that which was perpetrated by Cann as opposed to that which was strangulated by Hulme. And once again I'm forced to observe that book cover illustrators never read the novels for which they illustrate. Either that or they simply don't care, which is why, for a novel titled Diving In we get an illustration of Swimming Away....

I was attracted to this novel by the fact that it's set in Britain. Since I hail from there originally, I like to read a story set there now and then. This one looked, from the blurb, to be engaging, but we all know how badly blurbs lie, don't we now?

This novel is about Colette, yet another first-person narrating, guy-obsessed teen. Why female authors insist on doing this to their own gender, I do not know. I know even less why so many teens obsessively read so much of this trash. The real problem here is that Colette's only motivation in life is this studly guy she sees at the swimming pool.

Maybe her obsession is augmented, if not entirely engendered (so to speak), by the fact that her clueless mother has insisted that Colette go to a girls-only school because (her mother delusionally believes) segregating girls and boys is the best way to teach them how to appreciate the opposite gender in the best light and to learn appropriate respect for one another. Barf. Actually her mother's only motivation is that she's a flaming misandrist.

It doesn't help that Colette sees this guy only at the swimming pool, which means that the both of them are largely naked during their encounters. Her whole life changes when she accidentally bumps into him and he says four words to her. Now she's spoken to him! OMG!

Seriously, and despite (some might argue because of) its British setting, this novel is all wet. Cann it.