Friday, October 10, 2014

Maybe: A Little Zen for Little Ones by Sanjay Nambiar


Title: Maybe: A Little Zen for Little Ones
Author: Sanjay Nambiar
Publisher: Umiya Publishing
Rating: WORTHY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is reward aplenty!

Maybe presents as a Zen-based approach to relating children's stories while teaching something useful, and it's part of a series.

When many people think of Zen, it's probably of that old trope "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" which is purposefully nonsensical because it's not about the answer, it's about the question, and how it derails ordered, reined-in thought. The point of Zen isn't thought; rather it lies in centering and allowing thoughts to run on by without trapping them - like enjoying nature without any focus on capturing animals or picking flowers.

The aim is not to be free of emotion, per se, but to live your life free of obsession, distraction, and misdirection. Perhaps a better catch-phrase than the 'one hand clapping' is "If you love something, let it go". That doesn't mean you have to say goodbye to it, but it's of no value to dwell on it, wishing for things which might never be, or trying to own things which don't lend themselves to ownership, especially not in the long-term.

This is how the main character in this book manages not to focus on the immediate, but to open herself to a much bigger picture. Of course, life isn't quite like this. We shouldn't expect that just because a bad thing happens, there must be a good thing coming right along behind it to balance your account, nor should we expect the inverse of that: a bad event must necessarily follow a good one. Good things don't come in threes. Neither do bad ones. But good and bad things do come.

We should realize, though, that it's worth trying to teach children that situations are not always permanent, and things which bring with them obsession, making it seem like they're everything in the world at the time, are not so important in the long run. The world is bigger than any of us, and pain goes away, tears dry, discomfort eases, and loss is forgotten.

Of course, it can be really hard to see this when it's happening, or fresh in memory! Our main character does an unlikely if admirable job in this regard. She's very equanimous, taking things in her stride, and not worrying over-much about events, even though some are uncomfortable and upsetting. She understands, unlike most children, that these things will pass and other things will arrive and take their place, and unlike all-too-many of us, she can live with that!

Would more children were like this! My own are too old for a book like this one, but they do tend to obsess on the now or the immediate, especially when it comes to wants as opposed to needs - and they're often conflating the two. They're growing out of what is traditionally considered to be children's toys, and moving on towards more grown-up interests, but they still grow too attached to things, and too upset by failure and loss. The older is much more Zen than the younger (he's actually better than me!), and our hope is that the younger will grow to follow his sibling, at least in this regard.

A book like this is a good thing to have around, especially for younger children, but it's also paradoxical - that we should value a book which is, after all, only a passing phase! That's why it's important to keep in mind that it's not the book that's important in the long-run, but whether you can help your children to learn something from it while it's in your possession. I hope so. Even writing this review has taught me something. I've never thought of blogging books as a form of mediation, only as fun! How very un-Zen of me!