What Ian (claims he) is working on

So what am I working on now? (and why am I asking you?!)

I have too many novels in progress at one lowly stage or another at the moment (for certain constrained definitions of 'in progress' and 'at the moment'). The most advanced (for certain constrained definitions of 'advanced') of these are:

  • Baker Street, Ace 'tec'
  • Nature of the Beast (set in the same world as Femarine, but two hundred years later
  • Qué (set in the same world and time-frame as Femarine, but in a different country)
  • Murder on the Orient Express parody
  • Kidnapped re-written for the modern age
  • Novel about a girl band
  • Satire on the new president
  • Bring into the electronic age an old, old hand-written, but complete novel I did some time ago - a murder mystery
  • Bring into the electronic age an old, old hand-written, but complete novel I did some time ago - a sci-fi story
  • Possible pair of novels, very loosely connected, about magic
  • Possible pair of novels, closely connected, about a detective and her twin sister
  • a host of other projects which may or may not ever come to fruition

What I'm actually working on right now is a middle grade novel which is going to be published this month (February 2017). It was going to be my second 'centapage' novel, but I have so much material to work with, and so many ideas that I think it's going to overrun the 100 pages, so it will just be a regular novel.

Baker Street, Ace 'tec' is a parody of the Sherlock Holmes stories and is only the second novel, to my knowledge, which will be published carrying a health warning (the first was my own Dire Virgins - a parody of YA dystopian fiction). Seriously, do not read this novel. It's nothing but raw brain on paper and it will cause possibly catastrophic disruptions in your mind. Don't say you haven't been warned. It might even be illustrated, which is actually worse.

I found that when I was writing Saurus, my mind often took off in flights of prosaic pretentiousness which had no place in any decent, respectable novel, so I purged them periodically and put them aside. In addition to this I have, from time to time, strayed into insanity with a play here or there, or a completely nonsensical short story, and Baker Street is pretty much a psychiatric institution for these debilitated, struggling homeless wrecks, which have no place to go and no one to take care of them. Lewis Carroll ain't got nuthin' on me! Mwahahaha!

The novel details the exploits (yes, they used to be ploits, but could no longer hold down a ploiting occupation and are, tragically, now ex-ploits) of the master fool detective named Baker Street, who lives in an apartment block called Sherlock Holmes. He's trying to detect his way home, disably assisted by Alfred P. Water, his trust-free assistant whom he never meets - not until the parody of 'A Study in Scarlet' towards the end, at any rate.

During this trip we venture into a parody of Hedda Gabler (titled Double-header Gabbler), and we follow a foray of the Three Musky Tears amongst other maniacal diversions. So what's holding this up? Illustrations only at this point, and an editing review of the text.

There's a parody of Agatha Christie's Murder on the Orient Express in the works as well as an update of Robert Louis Stevenson's Kidnapped, although not much has been done on these of late. There's all of 2017, though!

Nature of the Beast is my second from scratch novel aimed at the YA audience, and is being written (very slowly) in tandem with several other novels! One of the others is titled Qué, and is set in the same world as my "best-selling" (LOL!) Femarine, but the two stories are unconnected so no, as promised, it's not a series!

In Nature of the Beast, Prince Benson is the second in line to the throne and his only concern is finding a cure for his stricken fiancée. Little does he know how little he does know. This novel is in outline form right now with a few chapters written, but I have a plan, which for me is amazing.

Qué is a LGBTQIA novel set in the same time period as Femarine, but in a different nation in Temmeland.

These novels typically are held-up by bandits! Yes, bandits in the form of other novels demanding my attention and my life! I had this idea for a YA novel about a girl-band which had something very special going for it, but then put that on hold when I had another idea for the middle-grade novel which I began writing, only to put that on hold for a Christmas children's story book parody satire thingy. Immediately after I got that out, I had an idea for a satire based on a certain unwelcome business president, and had to bang that out by inauguration day. And I did it! That being all done, I'm back on track - at least on track with the most recent derailment...!

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