Sunday, August 23, 2015

The Whole Lesbian Sex Book by Felice Newman


Here's a book I'm not going to rate because it's dealing with a very personal topic, and it's not fiction. A rating is inappropriate. I do have some observations on it, though, the first of which is that this is not a book for guys unless they really want to learn something about women. If you come into this looking for cheap thrills, then you're going to be sorely disappointed. If you come into it looking for a dedicated lesbian book you may be disappointed too, because it seems like it tries to cover every facet of the queer world rather than focus upon the relatively narrow one intimated in the title.

The next observation is that this is not a book for the timid unless it's a subset of the timid who are looking to lose some of their timidity. The author pulls no punches, and boldly and liberally employs four-letter words for body parts. This didn't bother me, but it may put others off, which leads me to a third observation and a serious question: who is this book for? That seems like a dumb question, but the simplistic answer: "It's for lesbians stupid!" doesn't get it done. It's not just for lesbians; it's for anyone who is seriously and honestly interested in female sexuality, but I kept asking myself if this was the best approach to reach the widest audience.

A lot of what's in here is so obvious that you'd have to be pretty dumb, sheltered, stupid, or some tragic combination of all three to not know this stuff. On the other hand, if you are none of the above and do not know this stuff yet, then you may well be so off-put by the abrasive and aggressive language used here that you give up on the book before you learn anything of value! The tone employed in the book didn't strike me as the most conducive to reaching out to the widest segment of female society including those who might most need to know what's in here. It felt too narrowly addressed to be of broad benefit.

One final issue which I had was with the promotion of herbal remedies for anything and everything. A lot of the plants most commonly repeated in this book can be very dangerous if not used wisely, and may be of little benefit even used wisely. Yohimbine can increase blood pressure, while large amounts can dangerously lower blood pressure. Ginko biloba brings a risk of bleeding and gastrointestinal discomfort - not a wise choice for someone who may experience that every month as it is. Ginseng can cause irritability, tremor, palpitations, blurred vision, headache, insomnia, increased body temperature, increased blood pressure, edema, decreased appetite, dizziness, itching, eczema, early morning diarrhea, bleeding, and fatigue. St John's Wort should not be taken by women on contraceptive pills. It's associated with aggravating psychosis in people who have schizophrenia. I got this from wikipedia, but you will not read it anywhere in this book.

That's not to say that you will automatically be struck down should you taste one or more of these herbs but it is to say that anecdotal "evidence" for the efficacy of any non-medical "medication" should be taken with a pinch of salt (assuming you don't have high blood pressure!). The only truly smart choice is to approach your doctor with your problems. If you do not feel comfortable going to your doctor about these topics, then it's high time to find a doctor you do feel comfortable with. In addition tot his, some of the information given here is a bit outdated. That doesn't mean it's not true or not close enough to true, but I'd have been happier with more recent references, and references to primary rather than secondary sources, than older ones (some as much as a decade or more out of date) which felt to me more like sensationalism or scare tactics than a sincere effort to relate an accurate picture.

Note that a lot of this book was very repetitious, and this made for a tedious read in places, but amidst all of this other stuff is some interesting information, including an extensive set of references and URLs, and some nuggets of good advice, so read or read not; there is no try! And good luck and best wishes to anyone who is taking their sexuality into their own hands instead of letting society or the church do it for them!