Friday, September 25, 2015

Bubbles Big Stink in Frog Pond by Ben Woodard


Rating: WARTY!

Welcome to another edition of Twice Toad Tales illustrated by Fran Riddell. Bubbles is a euphemism for his real name: Dances with Farts. I've never really understood this passion for farting stories. It never entertained me as a kid, but that's all this story is about - a frog that farts. Seriously that's it? Yes, that's it. Our great English tradition with literature, spanning centuries, has been reduced to spawning frog farts. I can see how juveniles might find these stories amusing for a while, but this isn't a juvenile book (except in content!). It's actually a young children's book. Why would any parent want to read this to their kid? It really has no educational value.

The frog might be French, at least his legs might, but he's also a tad pole. He has a problem with wind. That's his superpower, just like Paul Reubens's character "The Spleen" in the movie Mystery Men, and no matter what diet he tries, he cannot escape the vapor. The other frogs naturally want to throw this master of miasma out rather than help him, which is a great lesson to teach young kids, isn't it? No, really. He's pretty much a pariah by the time some boys come frog catching. Only the stench of the tench (yeah, I know he's not a tench, but you try getting a frog-related word to rhyme with stench!) can save them, and so magically, he's a persona grata again.

Really? I can't recommend this.