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Saturday, October 9, 2021

Death in D Minor by Alexia Gordon

Rating: WARTY!

This is how fucktard dumb the blurb is for this novel: "set in the “captivating southwestern Irish countryside” (Library Journal starred review)" The review evidently was so bad that the only thing they could quote from it was that the review said that the novel was set in the Irish countryside. I want you to take a minute to absord just how utterly and mind-numbingly brain-dead that is. They couldn't just inform you as a potential reader that this novel is set in the Irish countryside; they had to quote the Library Journal telling us that it's set in the Irish countryside. I mean how profoundly dumb-ass is that? I think that's hands down the dumbest thing I ever read. You'd have to take a masters-level course to write something as profoundly stupid as that. It's not a thing you can do purely by accident. No wonder Kirk-cussed reviews thinks this is a charming series: it's right up their street (which is Dumbfuck Alley in case you wondered)

The rest of the blurb says, "When her brother-in-law is accused of a crime he didn’t commit, Gethsemane goes undercover at a charity ball to unmask the real culprit — and accidentally summons an 18th-century ghost, who happens to be an excellent sleuth!" See? This is as half-witted as you can get. It's the poop without even the nincom. And 'Gethsemane'? Really? I'm guessing the author was thrilled when she came up with that name. Hopefully not literally. Certainly not literary. And accidentally summons a detective ghost? I'm wondering: did the author write a bunch of random ideas onto slips of paper, toss them into a hat, and then use the first three she picked out of the hat for her plot? It sure sounds like it.