Though humanity has expanded from Earth to nine settled worlds, they're alone in the universe - but when Dr Kimberly Brandywine investigates a missing expedition, she makes a shocking discovery. "McDevitt is the logical heir..." Given Stephen King's twisted logic, I don't doubt he believes this; i doubt only that it's true. My reviews of McDevitt's books can be found in this blog. Most of them are not good.
Monday, September 6, 2021
Venus Rising Boxset by Golden Angel
Golden Angel? Seriously? "When Jessica enrolls at the Venus School to explore the limits of her sexuality...." Does Goldie know that 'box' is a euphemism for vagina? I can't think of anything more boring than this, except maybe some other novel by the same author.... And I'll bet there's no box with this boxset. I buy a boxset, there'd better be a fucking box with that shit.
The Once and Future Queen: Secrets of the Starcrossed by Clara O'Connor
Ss she makes a decent stab at it by substituting 'queen' for 'king', but 'starcrossed' anywhere on the book cover is an automatic 'throw it into the trash' for me. Oh and the blurb begins with 'in a world' which is so tired. "In a world where the Roman Empire still reigns" Barf. "Cassandra" barf! "is betrothed to the most eligible bachelor in Londinium" Barf! The author is Irish, she writes a novel about the Roman empire, yet she sets it not in Rome but in London? I wonder why? Oh wait! She works in LA in TV. Now everything's clear. Yawn.
Sleight of Paw by Sofie Kelly
Anything with a dog or a cat on the cover is a no-no for me. Especially one where the titles play on the word Paw: "Sleight of Paw," "Faux Paw," etc. What's the next going to be? Paw-ty On, Dude? When two cats follow her home, librarian Kathleen is shocked to learn they have supernatural powers." I imagine she is. Yawn. "Can her new kitties help her figure out who killed local senior Agatha?" I'm going to take a wild ass guess and say 'yes!", but there's no way in hell they will name the perp - not without eking it out in tedious dribs and drabs over the entire length of the novel. Yawn.
A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms by George RR Martin
The 'RR' in his name is him laughing at the punters buying into this shit. "The young knight Ser Duncan and his squire, Egg," Seriously? What's his horse's name? McMuffin? Barf. Yes, he's successful, and more power to him, I guess, but I will never read anything by this author because it has zero appeal to me.
Royal Ruin by Jessica Peterson
"His Royal Highness Prince Christopher needs a fake fiancée - and love isn't part of the contract. But when Emily takes him up on his proposal, their scorching chemistry lights a fire they never expected!" There is no way this hasn't been done to death already. Barf. And how in fuck is anyone going to be fooled by the fake fiancée shit? The media will know. Everyone will know. And is this really the way the prince wants to appear to his subjects? As a liar? A loser? A deceiver? It's horseshit.
Private Charter by NR Walker
"Stuart Jenner is looking to recuperate from the demands of his stressful job by chartering a private yacht." Yeah. I can see how he'd be really stressed out to the max with all that money. I know I would be. Barf.
The Beast Within by Serena Valentino
"A reclusive and bitter beast lives alone in a remote castle - but he wasn't always this way. Once, he was a handsome, beloved prince whose life was changed by a terrible curse" Hasn't this been done already like a gazillion times? Honestly? This is the best you got? Why not call it "The Beast Without" since, in the words of Kendra Morris, "he ain't got no love"?!
Blood on the Chesapeake by Randy Overbeck
"Darrell Henshaw is looking for a fresh start in the seaside town of Wilshire." A town called Wilshire? Seriously? No.
Publishable by Death by ACF Bookens
Someone whose name sounds like bookends writes a book about a bookstore? Come on! Seriously? "Bookseller Harvey Beckett is shocked when a reporter's body is found in her store on its opening day! Amid the hustle and bustle of a festival in sleepy St Marin's, can Harvey and her hound dog, Mayhem, sniff out a killer?" And it's her job rather than the police, why, exactly? Barf. Just barf. And a lot of it. This novel is barking mad.
Caesar's Legion Stephen Dando-Collins
The fact that Kirkus praised this is enough to put me off it. "Witness the army of Rome at the height of its power in this popular history that follows the military feats of the 10th Legion's tactics, battles, and daily life" but the tenth was only one of four legions Caesar had under his control. It was one he levied himself and supposedly liked, but this was the same legion that broke and fled with the other three at the Battle of Dyrrhachium. It was the thirteenth with which Caesar crossed the Rubicon, not the tenth. The book itself may possibly be a decent history and a worthy read for interested parties, but the book description isn't exactly crystal clear. No suprises there.
Two Wrongs by Mel McGrath
"After several young women jump to their deaths in Bristol, Honor is desperate to determine the grim cause" and finds it's easily fixed by putting appropriate safety measures in place. Yawn.
The Listening Eye by Patricia Wentworth
"After a deaf woman lip-reads a conversation about a dangerous robbery, Miss Maud Silver must stop the crime - and save the woman's life." Why? Were the police taking the day off? Yawn. Wentworth is a pretty cool name for an author, so I wanted better than this.
Storm Clouds by Steven Becker
"John and Mako Storm are more than just father and son" Of course they are! But Mako? Really? "they're skilled secret agents." Of course they are. But how secret are they really, if this book is about them? LOL! This is yet another dumbass novel that's part of a series each of which uses the main character's name in a hard-bitten two-word title. Barf. This genre is so overdone that it's baked into bricks you could build a house with. "And when a pharaoh's legendary tomb is located after centuries shrouded in secrecy," How is that possible with Google Earth? Yet another gung-ho example of some author thinking it's a brilliant idea to have the USA policing the world and crashing uninvited into a Middle East nation, laying down the law, telling the Egyptians what to do with their own nation. Way to go!
Dark Rising by Greig Beck
Anything with 'rising' in the title should be your warning that you need to move on to the next book on your list and skip this one. "As Captain Alex Hunter" Hunter? seriously? "and his crew set out to find the source of a massive amount of radiation in the Iranian desert, they find themselves caught in the center of an ancient prophecy - and they must race to stop a catastrophic event." Yawn. Yet another gung-ho example of some author thinking it's a brilliant idea to have the USA policing the world and crashing uninvited into a Middle East nation, particularly one that detests the USA, and laying down the law. Way to go! And which desert? There are two, the Kavir, and the Lut. Clearly this story needs a lot of rewrites.
Ballistic by Mark Greaney
"Ex-CIA assassin Court Gentry" Court Gentry? Are you serious with that? What kind of fucked-up name is that shit anyway?! I'm already laughing too hard to even consider buying this trash. But he "fights for justice and survival after stumbling into a war between rival criminal factions." Why? Why is it a problem for him? He's ex-CIA. Can't he just disappear? LOL! This is just another cheap excuse for a guy to write shit about some dude slaughtering a whole bunch of other dudes. End of story. Yawn.
Lost Creed by Alex Kava
"Sixteen years ago, Ryder's sister vanished. When new information emerges about her disappearance, Ryder and his K9 team will stop at nothing to uncover the truth." So they do literally nothing and all is magically revealed! LOL! So let's consider this seriously: for almost two decades, Ryder literally did nothing to solve his sister's disappearance, and now suddenly he'll stop at nothing? Nothing surprises me anymore. My experience of Kava is that of a plodding writer who simply cannot get to the point no matter how many pages she fills. Yawn.
Mountains Trilogy by Phoebe Alexander
"They're as different as two people can be," Are they really?! "but the chemistry between college professor Sarah Lynde and Army officer James McAllister is too hot to handle" and nevertheless it gets safely slapped between the staid gray covers of a book. Yawn.
The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman
The fact that Kirkus wrote: "top-class cozy infused with dry wit and charming characters" is more than enough to turn me off this. The title doesnlt help. I do have an idea though: why not combine this with Jasper Fforde's 'Thursday Next' series, kill off that Thursday and everyone will be happy?
Savannah Breeze by Mary Kay Andrews
You see that title right there is a hard no to begin with. Anything with 'Savannah', 'Southern', or 'Magnolia' on the cover is highly suspect. "Conned out of everything she owns, BeBe devises a plan to get payback with the help of her motley crew of friends." Again - 'motley crew'? No. That's right up there with 'quirky' as a no-no for reading. Who are Bebe's friends? TuBe O'Not2B? Be Orland-Endall? BeBeCe? Yawn.
Casket Girls by Seth Pevey
"As members of the French Quarter's unhoused population begin disappearing, private eye Felix, his girlfriend, Tina, and retired police officer David set out to discover what's happening - and the sinister truth behind the murders will shake the city of New Orleans to its core" Really? is that really likely? And the NOPD are not investigating this because...? Yawn.
The Expected One by Kathleen McGowan
"This New York Times bestseller" that's now inexplicably being offered at a knock-down price in a book flyer?! "follows journalist Maureen as her curiosity and visions lead her to a shocking discovery buried in Europe: the Gospel of Mary Magdalene." Can anyone say Da Vinci Code rip-off? There was no Mary Magdalene so how could she have a gospel? Most Hebrew men and women back then were illiterate anyway! And it's in Europe rather than Israel why, exactly? Yawn.
Wet by Ashley Bostock
"Ryan has spent months resisting his overwhelming attraction to Miranda after sharing a kiss in a dark hallway" Why? Why did he spend months resisting it? For what purpose? Did he find out when he finally saw her in the light that she hated how she looked?! Another dumb-ass so-called erotic story. Barf.
The Goodnight Kiss by Gwen Rivers
"Nic Rutherford has the power to track down predators and kill them with a kiss. Determined to bring her dead best friend back to life, she embarks on a journey that leads her to the perilous Fae realm" A woman named after a Network Interface Card kissed predators? Yuk! Yuk-Yuk! This is ridiculous.
Saturday, September 4, 2021
Sowing Malice by Wendy Tyson
"When town newcomers wind up missing and murdered, lawyer turned farmer Megan Sawyer must discover the secrets of a wealthy family and weed out the berried truth" A lawyer named Sawyer! No wonder she's a farmer because she has to find the 'berried' truth! When a truth turns into berries, only a farmer can find it. Now if the truth had been buried, then maybe a miner would be required, provided they were previously an attorney named McBurney....
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