Friday, November 8, 2013

External Forces by Deborah Rix





Title: External Forces
Author: Deborah Rix
Publisher: Dime Store Books
Rating: WARTY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration of any kind for this review.

This novel has a prologue - really short, but which I automatically skipped. Prologues are a waste of time and effort. If it’s worth telling, it’s worth putting in chapter one, front and center. Chapter one starts out badly by immediately telling us this is three weeks earlier, May, 2125, but it’s told in first person present! Chapter three brings us to the present - the novel's present, still in first person present PoV. Confused yet? Why we didn’t simply start it without the immediate flashback is as mysterious as it is annoying. First person PoV's are becoming increasingly anathema to me, and this novel is exemplary in offering a plethora of reasons why.

Finally, after all the ambling preamble we get to the story: now it’s June 2125, and Jess Grant is entering the military because she doesn’t want to be classed as a deviant and the military evidently gets a hall pass for this. Shades of Divergent anyone? (No, my comparing a novel to Divergent is most definitely not a compliment!) Deviance is evidently a really bad thing in a fundamentalist-future genetically-purified USA, where you can be killed for it, by the authorities, with no questions asked.

How we got to this sorry state of affairs isn’t really explained very well (except by passing reference to a comet strike in the Arabian sea and civil unrest), but if it's religion, it doesn't really need a rationalization, does it? It looks like Rix went the same way I did in Godstruck!, but starting from that same kind of premise, took off in a different direction, with a lot more technology, so I was initially quite curious to see what she did with it. That curiosity was soon dissatisfied.

To begin with, in a novel about an elite special forces unit, I could have done without the trope YA romance which frankly made me sick to my stomach. The advice she gets from her new best friend about shooting a pistol with your middle finger and using your forefinger to point, for example, seemed really stupid to me, not to say, er, pointless! But niggles aside, I confess I did start out liking this character and this idea. Unfortunately, Rix seemed to be determined to sicken me with her character's childish behavior and with the sadly puerile view of special forces to which she seems beholden.

I know this is set in the future, and it's fiction, and things have changed, but have military requirements mutated so drastically? Unless standards have dropped precipitously over the century between now and then, the training is nowhere near adequate or authentic. There's no way someone like Grant would ever have got in. The atmosphere in the barracks is completely juvenile and unrealistic. There is no way stupid childish stunts like throwing knives at people up against dartboards would ever be tolerated in an elite military unit: the soldiers have too much respect for the uniform and for their fellow soldiers. This is frankly an insult to special forces.

Again, unless IQs have dropped in a century (and given the eugenic breeding programs, perhaps they have) the behavior and training just didn't cut it. I didn't buy at all the "sim" units. They were completely inadequate and offered nowhere near realistic training for these poor soldiers who are doubtlessly going to die, and soon, as inadequately prepped as they are. It didn't help that we learn that Grant is a death-squad soldier in a Nazi regime - and she joined up knowingly. I'm supposed to like this teenager, who is inadequate as a soldier and, as if that's not bad enough in and of itself, who goes all wilt-and-vaporish over her sergeant Every. Single. Time. She. Sees. Him. Without. Fail and without a shred of self-possession, self-respect, or decency? I'm sorry but I was hoping for a much better main character than I got. It reminded me of that old Schwarzenegger movie Jingle All the Way where Langston finally gets his beautiful Turbo-Man figure from the santas for Jamie, only to open it and find it falls apart, and doesn't even speak the right language! That's this novel all over.

The sergeant's behavior towards Grant is absolutely no better, and a disgrace to his uniform. And completely out of left field. What has Grant done to even remotely appeal to the sergeant? Nothing! Nothing at all. And what's with her constantly referring to him as sergeant, anyway? Special forces don't identify rank: it gives too much information to their potential enemies. I kept telling myself that Rix had better have some really, really, and I mean really good stuff to tell me if I was going to let her get away with this kind of story-telling and not call her on it. And she didn't. I had no choice but to quit reading this and call her on it because, far from getting better and more engrossing, it got worse, and worse. Very soon - too soon, in fact - I couldn't stand it any more.

I really wanted to like this one, and I looked forward to reading it; I felt I had a lot of common ground with Rix's PoV in this story since I felt that the basic premise has so much in common with Godstruck!, but life is too short to waste on something which isn't pleasing you, and she left me no choice but to rate it warty. Here's a tip: I'd much rather read about Matt's second-in-command than about Jess Grant. There's no contest. She sounded far more mature, capable, and interesting. Indeed, one real fear I had was that she would be killed off and Jess would replace her as Sergeant Matt's second! That really would have killed me, so perhaps it's best that I didn't finish this one. But who knows, Rix is full of good ideas; maybe next time she'll execute them without executing them. One can only hope. We never run out of a need for fresh and original voices.


Wednesday, November 6, 2013

The School for Good and Evil by Soman Chainani





Title: The School for Good and Evil
Author: Soman Chainani
Publisher: Harper
Rating: WORTHY!

So after all the ebook authors who have dot com websites, now I have a hardback author who has a dot net! I loved that! So I've never heard of this guy before, and I found this book purely by accident at the library, on the "New" shelf. This, of course, merely means that the novel could have been published any time in the last four freaking years (they also have Sapphire Blue on that shelf! It doesn't mean that the novel is new: just that it's new to this library!

This is one of the most charmingly-written books I've read in a long time, and it starts out perfectly. The novel is about the fortunes and misfortunes of Agatha and Sophie, two extremely disparate friends who live in the extraordinarily isolated village of Gavaldon, surrounded by an impenetrable forest - well, it’s penetrable, but everyone who has gone in there trying to find a way through it has inevitably ended-up right back at Gavaldon - assuming they made it back at all.

Life in Gavaldon would seem idyllic, but there is a shadow over it. Every four years the 'schoolmaster' arrives in the night, and takes two children who miraculously later reappear, but not as children in the village: as characters in a fairytale which anonymously arrives on the door-step of the local bookseller at random times. Now you see what I meant about it being idyllic: it has a book shop and no distractions from reading the books!

Talking of shadows, Sophie has her own: she's unhappy because she just knows she's a good and real princess who deserves much more than she can expect in this little village. Indeed, her friendship with Agatha arose only because she wanted to do a good deed, any good deed, and chose Agatha as her victim. But it became much more than that. Agatha, because of her rough appearance, is shunned by pretty-much everyone except Sophie. The entire village thinks she's a witch. Sophie's dad barricades his daughter into her room on the night the schoolmaster is expected, but she pries her way out because she wants to be taken into the fairy tale world to become a princess. Agatha doesn’t believe in this schoolmaster crap until she sees a gnarled shadow that night, heading for Sophie's house. This shadow belongs to one of the most reticent, but important characters in the whole novel.

She races after it to rescue her friend, but both are caught up and bustled off to The School for Good and Evil. Unfortunately, from both their perspectives, there seems to be a mix-up: Sophie finds herself deposited into the evil side of the school, and Agatha into the good side. They both protest vehemently, but to no avail. When they finally kick and fuss, and run and side-step, and manage to meet on the bridge over the lake (good side) / moat (bad side) which divides the two branches of the school, there's an impassable barrier which prevents Agatha from saving Sophie, or Sophie from escaping to the side she knows must be right for her. Even when by subterfuge they manage to switch sides, they suddenly find themselves magically back on their original side again. It seems there is no escape. But there is.

Everyone can plainly see that both of them are (it would seem) quite evidently out of place, but no one seems either willing or able to do anything about it, and as if that wasn't bad enough, when Sophie and Agatha finally do meet, at the welcome assembly, and the princes come prancing in, it’s Agatha, and not Sophie, who (accidentally, to boot) catches the rose which Prince Tedros (son of King Arthur) tosses! This is, of course, before she decks him and gives him a black eye when they later meet, and she sets fire to an entire school tower! Tedros is a complete loser who deserves everything he gets, and is very much the paragon of Disney animation.

There is an apparently all-important question which the schoolmaster asks the two girls to resolve in order to be free: "What's the one thing evil can never have…and the one thing good can never do without?", and the answer is rather trite and disappointing, but it's resolved in a very unexpected manner. The manner in which it's answered is perfect, and I confess I was seriously hoping it would go this way, but in all honesty doubted that Chainani would have the guts and vision to go there. He did, and I love him for it!. Actually, you'd know the answer if only you’d been foresighted enough to buy my book Poem y Granite and read the poem on page 140! Hah!

So the last thing you need to expect from this novel is the expected, and I can say that with a certainty because I've finished reading this now, and my opinion is unchanged from what it began as: this novel is simply one of the best I've ever read. I've looked at some adverse criticism of the novel to see if I missed something other critics might have spotted, and I really didn't. It's anyone's choice, of course, whether they like a novel or not, but I have to say that a lot of those who are low-rating this novel do show seriously skewed views of what it was, what it was about, and what it tried to do. One silly criticism was that the characters were shallow and black and white. I disagree with that, because the two main protagonists were about as nuanced, complex, and conflicted and you can get, but even if that were not so, this is a novel about fairy-tale characters! For goodness sakes, since when have they had any depth?

How foolish is it to whine about how the characters are playing to type when it's a fairy-tale, and the characters are in a school which has the express purpose of training them to play to the very types which the critics complain about? Honestly? Some of the critics evidently haven't even read the novel because they're banging on about how the evil witch makes all the princes disappear (which would have been a very cool ending) but that's simply not what happened. Worse than this, some are also hypocrites, complaining that the characters are shallow and then describing the two main characters as the "beautiful" princess and the "ugly" witch! Seriously?

The whiny critics are simply wrong, so there! This novel is awesome and I fully and unreservedly recommend it.


Compliments of a Friend by Susan Isaacs





Title: Compliments of a Friend
Author: Susan Isaacs
Publisher: Open Road Integrated Media
Rating: WARTY!

I really had a bit of a time trying to decide how to rate this. It was not that interesting to me, but it was short (and there was no prologue! Yippee!). Unfortunately, it was in the first person, which is almost never a good thing in my book. What made me want to rate it worthy was that it featured an older woman doing the detecting. It's about time, when we're undergoing a flood of young and sassy female detectives, that someone swam upstream. Kudos to Isaacs for that.

This novel wasn't smart mouthed - although Isaacs isn't afraid to to go potty mouth when called for. I appreciated the honesty, so kudos again. What really put me off was all the snobbish brand-name-dropping. I detest novels which do that because it keeps destroying my suspension of disbelief. It's especially obnoxious when the writer tries to dismiss the name-dropping by pretending it doesn't matter, like even they are embarrassed by how pretentious they are. And on this topic, why isn't Isaacs embarrassed by the price she's asking for a 69-page ebook?

The detective part of the story wasn't that interesting to me either - there was nothing brilliant or dramatic about it. So despite my initially wanting to find this short-story 'worthy' because of the older woman PoV, it was because she offered me nothing else to rave about that she left me no choice but to rate it warty.


Monday, November 4, 2013

A Study in Ashes by Emma Jane Holloway





Title: A Study in Ashes
Author: Emma Jane Holloway
Publisher: Gallery Books
Rating: WARTY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration of any kind for this review.

Wow! Nine ebook reviews in three weeks was the challenge and I just met it! Now I see one of Net Galley's patented 'three week deadline' notices has just popped up on this one, as well! Never again will I offer to read so many ebooks in so short a time! Fortunately some of those nine (three or four) were real clunkers, so I didn't have to read them all the way through before I knew how to rate them! The rest were acceptable enough that reading them didn't seem like a slog at all.

Anyway, this is the final review in my foray into the first three of Holloway's niece of Sherlock Holmes novels! And yes, I promise you it is the final review I shall do of any of her novels in this series. I have absolutely no desire to read any more. A Study in Ashes is a truly fitting name for a conclusion to this series since it all came to ashes in the end. I reviewed A Study in Silks at the beginning of October, and A Study in Darkness towards the end of that month. The first of these two I liked, the second I thought was awful. The third went downhill from there.

The problem with this series is that it's fundamentally fraudulent: I mean, why even mention Sherlock Holmes in your novel and book blurb, let alone boast a main character who's his niece, and then betray every single thing for which Holmes stood by rendering his supposed Protégé into a complete Mary Clueless, who actually does near to zero investigating? Why invest in a girl who has shown herself to be completely undisciplined, a non-thinker, slow, witless, shiftless, thoughtless, and boring? She's much better qualified to pursue what she does best, and incessantly: bemoaning her fate, and pining for Nick-ed the thief, aka worthless piece of trash, and when she's not suffering the wilts and the vapors over him, pining for Toby-ass the worthless piece of trash. I can't respect a character like that, much less actually root for her, or want to read about her. The idea for this series was really cool, but it was sorrowfully wasted in execution (execution is what these stories begged for!). The pseudo steam-punk was a nice touch, but it never really got off the ground in any useful sense except for sensationalism. I could have done happily without the Deva's, notwithstanding how amusing Bird and Mouse were, but even they would have been tolerable had the detective we were implicitly promised actually showed up for work. She never did.

I tried to get into this particular volume three or four times, but after wading through the first half-dozen or so chapters and skimming some of the others, I could find nothing in it to even generate my interest, let alone sustain it! The most interesting character, Imogen, was completely AWOL in the portions that I read. Evelina, supposedly the main character, did nothing but show herself to be clueless, impotent, incompetent, and morbidly self-centered. She once had a job (in volume two) where she could learn everything she wanted, but she had evidently passed that up (for whatever reason) by volume three, to go to a school where all she's allowed to learn (in that era) are 'proper lady's' topics. She's apparently content with this since she resists being thrown out of the college.

Toby-ass proves himself to be an even bigger shit in this novel than he achieved in either of the previous two, which takes some believing: now he has a wife and a son neither of whom he gives a damn about. I can see some logic to his having problems with a wife who was forced upon him, but I cannot countenance his treatment of her. She was a good, fun, and interesting person, and his behavior towards her is not only ungentlemanly, it's thoroughly unconscionable in someone who is supposed to be one of the good guys. Why would I like a jerk such as him, or be interested in what he wants does, thinks, or feels? Alice, his wife, is nowhere in sight in this novel either (not in the portion I read), which is a shame, because she was my second favorite character after Imogen.

But it's not his treatment of her which completely writes him off, since I fully expect this numb-nuts to behave badly towards women; no, the killer is his treatment of his son. That's completely unacceptable to me, and for Evelina to harbor feelings for this jerk tells me a lot about her - a lot of unpleasant things, that is. I have no interest in learning any more about any of these privileged losers, so I said, "The hell with this series!" Life is too short to waste it on pointless, uninteresting, and even downright irritating prose. I'm glad to be done with this un-nourishing stubble and moving to graze on greener pastures.


Rebels Divided by Lance Erlick





Title: Rebels Divided
Author: Lance Erlick
Publisher: Finlee Augare Books
Rating: WARTY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration of any kind for this review.

The writing technique seemed a bit odd to me in this novel; it feels like it's a first novel, which it apparently isn't, but the oddities go beyond that to being downright confusing at points, such as at the top of page 20 where Erlick includes a brief first person thought, but fails to italicize it to delineate it as such. This novel contains no warning which would suggest that it's a draft galley proof or anything like that and really, in this day and age, there would seem to be neither need nor excuse for such anachronisms. The copy put out there for net "galley" reading really ought to be in first class shape. There is no excuse for it to be less than that.

This is yet another novel which has a "table of contents" which lists only the chapter numbers - no page number, no chapter title, nothing but a list of chapters. I still do not see the point in that! But at least the author is smart enough not to have a prologue! This novel tells the story of a war in North America which appears broadly speaking, to be between men and women. The "rebels" seem to be all men (at least in the first half of this novel, which is all I read): mountain men living in the Appalachians who carry shotguns and skulk around in the undergrowth taking ineffectual potshots at the enemy). The enemy is an army of "mechs" which are women encased in a titanium alloy shell, which of course has an inevitable weak spot. Seriously? When George, who inexplicably goes by Geo (like Neo, maybe?!), and his father kill one of the mechs, Geo is somehow left a sitting duck, but the other mech simply stares at him instead of shooting, so he escapes.

It turns out that the other mech is Geo's "sister" Annabelle, who is apparently tired of killing, and she's not very good at it anyway, because it isn't long before she's captured and held while her captors try to force her into a marriage. This made zero sense at all to me. Are these women free or not? Isn't that why they're fighting? So what’s with the arranged marriages? It made zero sense that Annabelle would not kill Geo when she had the chance given that he had just slaughtered her closest friend. The fact that she's his "sister" holds no water because they don't even know each other in any meaningful sense, and they're not related.

The story seems very much to be a Xerox® of the American civil war, with the rural "south" fighting the industrialized "north", and with families split and pitted against one another, but along gender lines rather than political or slave-ownership affiliation. It reminds me of an idea I had for a gender war story, but mine was nothing like this one. The story then took off swinging like a pendulum, back and forth between Geo and Annabelle until the two of them finally hook up together, both of them on the run. Since Annabelle's adopted, it seems pretty obvious which way things will go from here on out: no surprises, nothing unexpected there.

My problem with this story, at just before the half-way point, was that I had no vested interest in it or in any of the characters. I could not relate to either Geo or Annabelle, and I had no feelings about them one way or the other. They seemed really bland and rather juvenile, and offered me nothing to root for. Why would I care about either of them or what happens to them? I can’t answer that question, and that is exactly the problem! I need something more than this if I'm to really get interested in a novel. I need to see a reason to root for a character, or I need to actually like the character or at least find them engaging, or interesting. There was none of that here. I need to be interested in their world and what's going on. I need to want to find out what happens next, and I just didn't care what happened next here! Feeling none of the above is a really bad position to be in when you're pretty-much half-way through the novel!

One of the worst parts of the story, and this was what finally put the last nail in its coffin, came right around this point, too: at the end of chapter 21 Annabelle pins Geo on the floor to show him how tough she is, and how men are not superior to women. This was bad enough, having her behaving "like a man" to show how superior (or even how 'equal' women are, but then contrast this with what happens in Chapter 23, less than ten pages later, where Geo refuses to share his sleeping bag with her because she won’t answer his appallingly intrusive personal questions, and she starts whining that he's not behaving like a gentleman! I'm sorry, but at that point I decided this novel was simply too juvenile and silly to continue reading. This is novel is WARTY!


Sunday, November 3, 2013

One of Our Thursdays is Missing by Jasper Fforde





Title: One of Our Thursdays is Missing
Author: Jasper Fforde
Publisher: Recorded Books
Rating: WORTHY!

I've also reviewed Jasper Fforde's The Eyre Affair and Shades of Grey

This audio book is narrated by Emily Gray (not to be confused with the remarkable paralympic athlete of the same name), and I have to say she is now my favorite narrator, beating out even Neil Gaiman, because her performance of this novel was masterful (mistressful?). I'm serious, she completely nailed it, and the way she entered into it so whole-heartedly made it a joy to listen to.

I rated this novel as a worthy read as soon as I'd finished listening to the first audio disk because I laughed my ass off listening to it. Fforde rambles on about novels and literature and stories, and grammatical errors, and syntax, and it sounds boring to put it like that, but the way he words everything, and the sly references and snarks he slips in about books in general and about certain classics in particular is freaking hilarious. I adored this novel, and Fforde is now on my list of favorite writers and must-reads. I reviewed Fforde's Shades of Grey not long ago

Here's something which should give heart to all you self-publishers: according to wikipedia, Jasper Fforde had received 76 publisher rejections prior to The Eyre Affair making it into print. He had been forcibly kept out of our lives by clueless, blinkered, self-appointed establishment censors of what’s readable and what isn't, what’s publishable and what should be banned. No more shall they rule. Self-publishing does!

The story is number six in a series, not one of which I'd read prior to this one, but they are all on my radar now, and Xmas is just around the corner! The previous volumes evidently consisted of his main character, Thursday Next, solving literary puzzles in the classics, keeping the books in the order which readers expect to find them when they open them. In this one, Fforde fords the river of change and decides to reorganize his literary world. Worse than this, Thursday Next is apparently missing, and it's up to her written version who is also, of course, named Thursday Next to solve a mystery which no one else seems to think exists. Oh, her butler does - he's an automaton which she rescued from being stoned (no, not that kind, the Biblical kind - the kind which true believers ought to be out doing to adulteresses and gays if they honestly believe the source of morality comes from their Bible! I for one am glad they reject the Bible as the source of moral authority even as they lie they don't.)

So (written) Thursday and Sprocket, wisely ignoring input from Pickwick, the pet Dodo, and Mrs Malaprop, the horse-creeper, start wandering around Book World, visiting the poetry neighborhood, and Vanity (publishing) Island to try and figure out who dropped The Bed Sitting Room on an unsuspecting neighborhood. And damned if she doesn't solve it. This novel was hilarious, inventive in the extreme (and I mean that literally) and magnificent. I can recommend it highly enough! It's the perfect thing to have handy if you ever find yourself trapped in a mime-field....


Saturday, November 2, 2013

Echo Prophecy by Lindsey Sparks writing as Lindsey Fairleigh

Rating: WARTY!

DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration of any kind for this review.

This is volume 1 in the Echo Trilogy. Unfortunately, it has a prologue, but it's very short, and I skipped it as usual. NO PROLOGUES!!! Alexandra "Lex" Larson is a post-graduate student studying archaeology (in particular the ancient languages and dialects of Egypt) who, on the same day, has three important revelations come to her. One is as exciting as another is disconcerting. The third? Well, she's not quite smart enough to really figure that out until later. First: she's to have the opportunity to go on a dig in Egypt, and not as a grunt, but as a language adviser. This is a dream come true, and which understandably thrills her. It's an honor: a public recognition of her arrival in her chosen professional field. It's also an intriguing and exciting prospect that's unceremoniously tossed in the crapper by the author in favor of a cheap young-adult quality romance! Unbelievable.

Second: her mother shows up unexpectedly and reveals to Lex that she and her sister are by-product's some anonymous guy's masturbatory fantasy: her parents went to a sperm bank and that's how they begat Lex and her sister. There's no explanation offered for why her mother chose to reveal this at precisely that moment, so this positively screeched at me that me I was reading a novel, which I already knew of course, but I was becoming quite immersed in it until that point! Third: later!

It seems to me that Fairleigh could have done a much better job of this than she did, but since she had done such a good job of writing everything else in the first few chapters, I felt forced to let her have her head for a while. I rather suspect that a revelation, irl, of this nature, especially right before Xmas, would be at best, disconcerting to most people, but not to all of them. When are we going to have a novel where the character isn't obsessed by it, or who even doesn't care? That would be a refreshing change, because this "who were my parents/my daddy/my mommie/is a bit hackneyed and trope-ish these days. Of course, it's necessary for this novel's plot, but I find myself wondering if this could have been written in a less 'grab you by the scruff of the neck and shake you violently' manner.

But that's not what I've been handed here, so let's continue. A few people, especially if they were as smart as Lex is supposed to be, would have figured out something long before they were Lex's age (24), but she didn't, and what bothered me, apart from how disturbingly juvenile Lex is, was that her reaction to the news, given what we've been told about her to this point, seemed extreme, and out of character. She immediately obsesses with this news in a most melodramatic manner and to an extent that's way beyond what's rational! It's out of character for her to smolder with this desperate need to know who her "real dad" is and toss everything else aside in pursuit of it. This screamed at me: "You're reading a novel!" I found it irritating, especially when Lex visits her grandmother solely to grill her for information about her genetic legacy, and her grandmother does indeed have this information. How convenient! This reaction is exacerbated later and Lex promoted to full hypocrite status when she agrees with her mother that they should not pass this same information onto her younger sister, Jenny! I began not to like Lex at that point!

What bothers me most of all about this parentage issue, I guess, is that all of it takes away - to an important extent IMO - from Lex's real and most interesting issue. This is the third item to which I alluded above: Lex has premonitions. These revelatory dreams seem to be something very recent and sudden, and again, there's no explanation for this eruption of clairvoyance other than the obvious one: we're starting a novel! But there's something interesting about the dreams: they are, all of them, about the past except, that is, for the very first one which Fairleigh shares with us. That one appeared to be about the future - a future Lex appeared to head off (or did she? We'll never know!). This is important with regard to her inane behavior later.

Lex stays with her folks over Xmas, and she mends a badly-broken fence with her sister Jenny. At least she takes positive steps towards that end - but given her other behaviors, I have to ask, "What's the point?" It's all going to be torn up again when Jenny discovers that Lex kept information from her about their parentage, so even this is irrational! There is one intriguing revelation for the reader here, which is that there's someone else in Lex's dreams who appears to be able to control what she sees. Twice as she is about to see the face of the guy who is advising her parents to contact Doctor Lee in order to have the children they want, someone grabs her shoulder and prevents her turning that last corner in her parents' house to see him. Is this her doctoral adviser - a man about whom we've already had it suggested is very much a father figure to her?! Highly suspicious....

On another note, I was saddened to see that we have yet another female author who (apparently unthinkingly) places men and women into traditional roles: Lex and her mom "naturally" migrate to the kitchen to prepare the Xmas repast whilst her dad sits around drinking beer. He may be sitting pretty, but this arrangement didn't sit well with me. The really sad thing is that it's actually a representative perspective! Should I blame an author for reporting how life is? Should I blame her for not fighting stereotypes? I feel like I should, because the reason these gender roles became stereotypes is that not enough people were combating them!

Yes, I know her story isn't about equality of the genders, but that's not the point. It doesn't hurt writers to combat stereotypes even in the "minor" details of the tales they tell, because those details aren't minor - not in matters of this import. This is fiction that Fairleigh is writing after all, not a documentary; she could make these people behave however she wants, so I'm forced to the understanding that she either consciously chose to buy into the stereotype, or that she was completely blind to what she was promoting, which is actually worse.

I was further put off by Lex's endlessly juvenile behavior. If she were thirteen, I'd pretty much expect this - if she were she also stupid. She gets a ride home (arranged by her newly reconciled sister) with a guy she considered hot in high-school but who she hasn't seen in six years. This is after she has slept in her younger sister's bed one night, because she had a bad dream. Her kid sister finds nothing bizarre in this behavior, which means it's been common for some time. One of them is twenty four, going on thirteen, the other twenty-two, going on sixteen. They're neither of them appealing to me in any way at the moment! So we end up seeing Lex flustered and blushing, and behaving like a pre-teen, when her ride home asks her to accompany him to a New Year's party. How am I supposed to respect her as a hero of this novel when I can't find anything even to like, much less respect, about her so far? Fairleigh really had her work cut out for her at that point if she was going to win me over to her main character! (Spoiler: she failed)

Then came chapter six, in which Lex becomes a real Mary Sushi. So Lex actually forces a prophetic dream upon herself about her New Year's Eve date with Mike. The dream shows her that he will assault her and try to rape her, yet despite the fact that she knows the dreams are "telling her true", she still goes on the date, she still dresses in the same dress she saw in the dream, and she still drinks too much, and of course he assaults her and tries to rape her! I was already having serious respect issues over her behavior, but honestly? So she goes out of her way to prevent the prophetic dream about her professor from coming true when she has no reason to believe it would, then she behaves like a moron with regard to her own dream when she now knows she's dreaming truth? This makes absolutely no sense at all.

This part of the novel is actually interesting because it does raise some of the serious tangential issues over assaults and rape. It would be worth using this as a point to start exploring these issues in a class discussion of the topic. Let me get the baseline out of the way before I go into this: No, if a woman dresses "like a slut" and drinks too much, it does not mean she's asking to be raped, and it does not mean she deserves what she got. Neither does the fact that she initially had a certain end result in mind mean that she should get that result forced upon her after she changes her mind. In Lex's case however, and even without her prophetic warning, it does mean she's not very smart to dress in a way, especially on a first date, that sends certain signals (intentional or not) to someone like Mike, who she really doesn’t know, but who does (or did) have a reputation - something she did know.

The fact that Lex was three sheets to the wind doesn’t mean she's to blame for being raped, or near-raped, but it does mean she's not very smart to drink so much that her inhibitions are not under a healthy control, and her self-defense capacity is severely compromised, especially on a first date - unless she actually does want to plant the impression in her date's mind that she's easy and loose, with poor self control. In Lex's case in particular, given that she was forewarned that this would happen and did absolutely nothing whatsoever to head it off, this most certainly does mean that she's not worthy of much of my respect at this point. I have no idea what Fairleigh thought she was doing with her character here, but it didn’t impress me. On the contrary, it seemed clunky and amateur, and it very effectively evicted me from Lex's corner.

I saw no point to the attack on Lex from a story-telling PoV, just as I saw no point in what happened next. Lex is rescued from her near-rape by a mysterious character who is cloaked in black when Lex later tries to find him in her dream state. He severely beats up her date (this has relevancy for later), and then carries Lex to the ER. None of this makes any sense in the light of later revelations, one of which is Lex's advanced self-healing powers. This rescuer knows who and what she is, so why would he take her to the hospital? I was seriously tempted to believe that he is Seth - the guy who directed Mike to attack her - and yes, the supposedly evil god of the ancient Egyptians. But the truth turns out to be far more menacing than that.

In chapter nine, Fairleigh further insults Lex's intellect and viability as a main character. This is where she finally meets Professor Bahur to discuss the upcoming dig. When the two meet however, we get YA trope all over, which was truly gut-churning in how Lex reacts to the young professor, who is so trope-ish as to be almost a parody, but this isn't the worst problem! Bahur mentions the temple's main entrance, which quite obviously implies there is at least one other entrance, but when Lex brings up that painfully obvious idea, the professor stupidly holds up this as an example of her advanced intellect. Stating the obvious is advanced intellect? It’s no such thing unless she's truly a moron and this is offered as proof that she's not a complete moron!

Fairleigh continued to render this story ever harder for me to like with every opportunity that arose for her to do so. When she began randomly, but reliably, tossing in klutzy plotting or bizarre (even within her own framework) events it was as disappointing as it was unsurprising. How could she go write down-hill after such a promising start? Yet another mystery! On page 87, for example, she has Bahur saying, "A curse whose affects you must suffer from every day", but 'affects' is the wrong word. It should be 'effects'. I tried reading this as though it refers to some sort of affectation, but I can’t see how that makes any sense. Maybe I'm missing something. Or maybe Fairleigh simply screwed-up!

That's a quite minor offense compared with the next few revelations from her pen. Or keyboard. One aspect of the assault on Lex that I haven't mentioned was that she loses about 20 pounds in weight while in hospital overnight after the assault! There is no explanation for this until later, when she meets her thirty-year-old grandfather (yes!). But at the time, she never once thinks there is something utterly bizarre and dangerous about losing so much weight literally overnight, nor does her mother who is constantly at her side, and not one of the medical personnel suggests that she should have tests - like for some form of cancer for example? That's completely absurd: that no one should be interested in it, especially not the doctors in the hospital.

Fairleigh covers this up by producing a Doctor Isa, who takes over Lex's care, but this is also complete nonsense. I've worked in hospitals, and there's no way in hell that a strange doctor could simply storm in from nowhere and take over a doctor's patient, including discharging her, and especially given the circumstances. It's not only not that simple, it's not only medical malpractice, it's also simply impossible, and it was also completely avoidable if Lex had never been taken to the hospital in the first place. The story accomplished nothing by putting her there.

The entire novel sinks further into the toilet when her thirty-year old grandfather comes to visit her, escorted by his aging wife - Lex's grandmother. He launches into the biggest pile of bullshit I've ever heard. Once again we have the now-tired trope of a "time gene" - or more accurately in this case, a chromosome - and none of this makes even the remotest sense. This chromosome allows the people who carry it to look backwards and forwards in time, and to heal very quickly (at the cost of losing body weight - so at least that follows a moderately intelligent principle if nothing else does. And nothing else does!).

Our closest living genetic relative is the chimpanzee. We differ from them by only a tiny handful of percentage points in the entire three-billion character genome, yet humans cannot reproduce with chimpanzees precisely because of a differing chromosome count (inter alia). This inability to reproduce with those outside the genetic group is the very definition of species for those organisms which reproduce sexually, but Fairleigh further clouds this issue by insisting that Nejeret women (Nejerettes, because let's face it there's no equality of the genders in Fairleigh's system!) are barren; reproduction is carried out through Nejeret men impregnating human women! That is women of a different species according to Fairleigh! I'm sorry but no, no, and no-way-in-hell is this system viable or even sensible.

Yet Fairleigh would have us believe that the Nejeret people (the group to which Lex evidently belongs, along with her grandfather) have this extra mutant chromosome and still can reproduce with "humans"! If they can reproduce, they are human period. If they cannot, they are not, so it has to be one or the other, not both, as Fairleigh rather ignorantly would try to have it here. Fairleigh claims it cannot be detected by modern genetics! Nonsense. If it's in the genome then it's readily detectable by modern science - especially if it's an entire chromosome. If Fairleigh knew a little more about genetics, then she would have known to suggest that her mutation was carried in the mitochondrial DNA - that is in the separate genome carried in every cell that comes down to children only through the female line. This could have worked for her fiction (at a stretch), but it's not the way Fairleigh chose to go - she chose to have it come down only through the male line, which means it has to be on the Y chromosome, not on some extra mutant chromosome. There are some issues with mtDNA, too, since, as Bryan Sykes's book The Seven Daughters of Eve which I enjoyed but have not yet got around to reviewing) illustrates, the handful of mitochondria are very well known and none of them are inhuman!

This last observation is rendered particularly amusing when Fairleigh has Lex look back in time (as her grandfather reveals this information to her) and sees her mother cavorting in her own mother's yard, and there are seven apple trees! I nearly laughed out loud at that. And yes, the "A well-fed Nejerette is a happy Nejerette." line struck me as being immensely amusing, but then Fairleigh turns my stomach again by having Bahur take advantage of Lex by having her pretend to be his girlfriend, merely to dissuade the girl at the coffee shop from drooling over him any more. This was a highly inappropriate thing for her supervisor to do, and after all the fuss Lex had been making about never dating again and being cautious with men after she was attacked, for her to simply surrender to Bahur's wishes is a truly sickening, it really is. Rather than find it the least bit romantic, I found it yet another betrayal by a female author of a female character, and yet another example of how profoundly stupid Lex is.

Such examples kept coming thick and fast at that point: Lex meets again with her grandfather and grills him for details of the Nejeret people (and nets herself a very amateur info-dump), whilst she simultaneously fails to fully inform him of important and highly relevant facts. Examples of this would be her knowledge that someone had deliberately changed who her father was by substituting sperm at the fertility clinic where she was conceived, and also in failing to inform her grandfather that it was Seth - one of the seven Nejeret council members (one who has supposedly vanished) - who was directing Mike in his attack on her. This was about 40% into this novel, and right then I was wondering if I could get even so much as fifty percent of it stomached before I bolted.

The answer is a very loud and clear "No!" and the reason is that, after all the fuss we went through about Mike assaulting Lex and how it understandably left emotional scars, we then get Bahur doing precisely the same thing Mike did! He's manipulative. He's irrationally angry over trivialities. He's possessive. He has displayed control issues by savagely beating up a guy who assaulted Lex. He claims he owns her (and is sickeningly correct in that statement), and worse: he physically abuses Lex, pushing her around and worse, and yet this delusional woman thinks this is hot and romantic? She needs therapy, and soon.

I'm sorry but this novel is an insult to intelligent and independent women everywhere, and this needs to be stated loudly and unequivocally. If this were a novel about an abusive relationship, then I could see the rationale in having these characters behave as they do, but this is no such novel. It's supposed to be about Lex coming into her own over some startling find in Egypt (at least that's how it opens), but up to the point where I read it, Egypt wasn't even remotely on the map. Instead, the entire story degenerated into a cheap and sleazy no-mance, which had nothing to recommend it and was actually boring, being all-Lex, all-drooling all-the-time. The rest of the so-called plot went out the window!

The story at that point was paradoxically pointless! It was also completely uninteresting, uninventive, unoriginal, and worse than any of this: thoroughly disgraceful in the way it dishonestly portrayed a co-dependent relationship (where an older - like 2,000 years older! - man preyed on an impressionable and naïve young woman) as being a relationship that was healthy, loving, and romantic. Just exactly why would someone like Bahur, having two thousand years of experience under his belt, be even remotely interested in a child like Lex? That's the equivalent of a fifty-year old man falling in love with, and wanting to marry, a six-month-old kid. This nauseating and obnoxious novel is definitely warty beyond measure.


Friday, November 1, 2013

Three Girls and Their Brother by Theresa Rebeck





Title: Three Girls and Their Brother
Author: Theresa Rebeck
Publisher: Audiobooks
Rating: WARTY

This novel sucked green wieners from the start. It turned out to be nothing like the book blurb had lead me, at least, to believe it would present. The cover should have told me all I needed to know. This is about redheads, and the cover is B&W! There's only one woman on it and she looks way too old to be one of the sisters. She looks more strawberry blonde than red-head. Whose hand is that lighting her cigarette (or is it her brandy he's lighting?). We don't know. I don't care. Maybe it's her brother condescending to bring light to her world like a Judaic Messiah or the Greek god Prometheus. Maybe her hair is red from being set aflame?

The entire novel is narrated by a boring, self-obsessed guy kibitzing endlessly about his so-called life, and all the wonderful things which continually befall him, oh, and yeah, his apparently bratty sisters. I just didn't trust his take on things at all, but I couldn't maintain enough interest to bother satisfying my yawning curiosity on the topic. I'm yawning now just thinking about it. Brr! Ugh! This novel is not in the least entertaining: it's not funny, it's not interesting, and it's not going anywhere. That's the best I can say about it. The title itself is misleading because it's really about a bro (oh, and there are bits about his irrelevant three sisters and their tiresome fifteen minutes of fame tossed in for leavening).

I should have known better than to pick up any novel which uses a word like 'literary' in the blurb. Such novels are inescapably worthless and pretentious, but when it combined 'literary' with 'critic' I definitely should have known to run a mile. Hopefully I'll remember this next time! WARTY! (Imagine multitudinous exclamations in hum-drum line with that one)


All Our Yesterdays by Cristin Terrill





Title: All Our Yesterdays
Author: Cristin Terrill
Publisher: Hyperion
Rating: WARTY!

All Our Yesterdays is actually the name of an old British TV shows. I found this in the library and wished I hadn't! It's another one of those novels that, even though it's not technically badly written you wonder how it ever got past an editor, much less a publisher. It's a YA time-travel novel and I think this will be the last one of that combination I ever read since they seem to be almost universally garbage (Kerstin Gier being a notable exception, of course!).

Have you noticed how nearly all these writers have a dot com address for their personal web site, not a dot net? Interesting, isn't it, in this day and age? They may write ebooks, but unlike Elvis Presley (here at his most charming in G.I. Blues), they do have a wooden heart: still rooted in trees for books and traditional publishing business!

All our yesterdays is a mess, yes, and since I didn't even hope to finish it, I can't tell you what it's all about. The story begins with Em, in a harsh prison cell (harsher than you might expect, let's say!) next door to a guy called Finn with whom she's evidently in some sort of love (but with no explanation for this). She has been tortured, as has Finn, who was apparently tortured when Em wouldn't give up information. She's obsessed with the drain in the floor of her cell, and finally (and improbably) opens it using a plastic spoon, to find a piece of notepaper in a plastic bag, written in her own hand-writing and at different times. Of course, she can’t simply write, "Here's what you need to do to fix this…" and detail it, she has to be obscure even to herself, which struck me as downright stupid. The final words on the note were "You have to kill him", without specifying who or why (or if it does, that's not shared with we readers!). My feeling out of nowhere is that it’s Finn she must kill because he's the bad guy here. I would hope that's the case and we can thereby dispense with awful teen YA "no-mance", but I guess I'll never know because I could not finish this crap. Yawn.

Next thing we know, Em has traveled back in time and we're suddenly confronted with airhead Marina, who is frankly sickening, but who is also Em four years previously. It's pretty obvious when you get over the initial shock of reading a story in present tense first person PoV (which I thoroughly hate and avoid like the plague these days unless a particularly interesting-sounding story comes along - I guess I learned my lesson huh?!) and then having a flashback and it's still in present tense! There are some authors who could carry time travel and tenses. Terrill isn't one of them. The novel then swings violently back and forth, less like an Einstein-Rosen Bridge and much more like the Tacoma Narrows bridge right before it collapsed.

The story begins with Em, in a harsh prison cell (harsher than you might expect, let's say!) next door to a guy called Finn with whom she's evidently in some sort of love (but with no explanation for this). She has been tortured, as has Finn, who was apparently tortured when Em wouldn't give up information. She's obsessed with the drain in the floor of her cell, and finally (and improbably) opens it using a plastic spoon, to find a piece of notepaper in a plastic bag, written in her own hand-writing and at different times. Of course, she can’t simply write, "Here's what you need to do to fix this…" and detail it, she has to be obscure even to herself, which struck me as downright stupid. The final words on the note were "You have to kill him", without specifying who or why (or if it does, that's not shared with we readers!). My feeling out of nowhere is that it’s Finn she must kill because he's the bad guy here. I would hope that's the case and we can thereby dispense with awful teen YA "no-mance", but we'll have to wait and see.

The problem is that it goes nowhere, and doesn't look like it has any intention of going anywhere - not in the first 200 pages, anyway. And I skimmed most of that once I found out how bad it was. It's deranged. It doesn't change. It doesn't move. It doesn't improve and it sure doesn't groove. The first chapter was great, but then we went back four years in time and got stuck with a twelve-year-old who was utterly wretched in every regard, clueless, uninteresting, and irritating, and the story never recovered from that set-back for me, nor did it pretend it would. The worst part about it is that it's the start of a frickin' series! Can you believe that? WARTY!


Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Stardust by Neil Gaiman





Title: Stardust
Author: Neil Gaiman
Publisher: Audible
Rating: Worthy!

I have long been a huge fan of the movie and review it here, so this is going to be yet another novel review and movie comparison. It's long past the time to see how the novel matches up, especially since Gaiman is the one who reads it.

It turns out that the movie followed the novel quite closely, but my favor remains with the movie - just. The novel, set in the mid-nineteenth century, is just fine, but not quite as fine as the movie version, although the two are quite different beasts. The movie is written with a younger audience in mind - but not too young; the novel has some very mature content and a much more sly sense of humor and playfulness. The biggest initial difference between the two versions is that the novel has Tristran with both his parents at home, whereas in the movie he has only his father - to begin with. In the novel there is this section where Tristran is wandering in a forest with a hairy "guy". I found that rather boring. Perhaps that's why they omitted it completely from the movie (not because I found it boring, of course, but because it's objectively boring).

For me, I'd much rather he found the star and got on with it than lolly-gagged and gallivanted so much beforehand. I mean, how wonderful a concept is that: having a star show up personified and a guy fall in love with her? I wish I'd thought of it first. In the movie, that relationship was one of the most charming, with Clare Danes doing a far better job of being a star than she does of being a CIA agent in Homeland where I'm honestly beginning to really tire of her endless whiny attitude, her teary eyes, her perpetually quivering lips, and her patented readiness to break down every five minutes. I'm about ready to ditch that series! She needs to get some lessons on backbone from Annie Walker....

The story improves immensely when Tristran actually does find the star and starts hanging with her, although the details of that encounter and their subsequent interactions differ in a lot of small ways from the way they were later portrayed in the movie. He has a much warmer interaction with Lord Primus, too. I loved this sentence: "The squirrel has not yet found the acorn that will grow into the oak that will be cut to form the cradle of the babe who will grow to slay me." (p122) especially when he ends that chapter with "Then [the squirrel] ran away - to bury the acorn and to forget it."!

I have to say that I really warmed to Gaiman's reading of the novel and I'm glad that he read it and no one else. He has the perfect voice for the novel's tone (unsurprisingly since it's his!). I think had someone else read it, I wouldn't have warmed to it in quite the same way, and indeed, may have become annoyed with it. He has a really winning way of turning a phrase, and a charming cadence to his voice which indicates two things: first of all, he's really enjoying himself in his read, and secondly, this isn't the first thing he's ever read aloud - far from it, in fact! It would be interesting to know if he reads that way to himself (in his own head) when he's reading a novel.

His writing is very good, too - really, exceedingly good. I mentioned in my recent review of The Midnight Dress (which is actually a cool title for a novel!) that author Karen Foxlee doesn't know how to write about the darkest blue (she said the dress was so blue it was almost black). Well, funnily enough, in this very novel, Gaiman gets it right: he says a red dress is so dark it was almost black! Curious coincidence!

So all of the novel's main points were represented in the movie, which is quite something, but the novel has a different twist to many of them, and sometimes events happen in a different order, or in a completely contradictory way as compared with the later movie version. Each of them stands alone, and the novel was wonderful. I rate this as worthy read.


Bitter Kingdom by Rae Carson

Rating: WORTHY!

This is the conclusion to the Fire and Thorns trilogy. You can read my review of volume one in this trilogy, The Girl of Fire and Thorns here, and my review of volume two, The Crown of Embers here. The Graceling trilogy ends with Bitter Blue. this trilogy ends with Bitter Kingdom Hmm... What, me, suspicious? Nah!

The Bitter Kingdom is really The Lord of the Rings for a YA audience. We have a magician (Elisa) and a male elf (Storm) and a hobbit/dwarf (Red), and an expert with a bow (Mara), and a hunter (Belén), and a female elf (Waterfall) and a soldier (Hector) and they're off on a road trip traversing forest and mountains. This applies to the chase to rescue Hector to some extent, but it's particularly à propos of the trip after the visit to Invierno's capital, and especially when they subsequently enter the mines as a result of the heavy snow in the mountains. You can’t tell me that Carson wasn't consciously emulating Tolkien's tome when she wrote her novel, and I can’t believe either that no one else hasn’t thought of these parallels.

There is another parallel, too, in that we have two magicians (Elisa and Storm), and yet neither of them can offer anything to really help in this story. Elisa and Storm cannot hasten their journey to rescue Hector, nor rescue him without undertaking that journey. Neither of them can offer anything to hasten their pursuit of the Invierno animagi later, not even by vaporising the snow (and thereby avoiding the ice), or providing protection from it for their party. This impotence of the magi is a constant theme throughout this and all such magical novels, and also in fiction where a god is involved, such as in the Bible, wherein the god cannot effectively contribute a damned thing and has to demand that mere mortals do his bidding all the time to get anything done at all! For example, he can’t keep Noah and the animals safe - he has to force Noah to build an impossible ark and capture the animals/gather the food himself! He can’t simply vaporize the walls of Jericho, nor even knock them down without having Joshua parade around in a farcical ritual. He can’t save humanity from the very sins he himself dumped on it without raping a virgin and slaughtering her child in a blood sacrifice! Stupid, stupid, stupid!

The same was true in LotR, where Gandalf really didn’t do a heck of a lot. I mean, if he can summon giant eagles to fly Frodo and Sam away from the erupting volcano, why couldn't he summon them to transport Frodo and the ring to Mount Doom in the first place?! Stupid, stupid, stupid! It makes no sense, but having said that, I did enjoy this novel rather a lot. After some issues with the middle child of this trilogy, it was nice to find that the third in the series was one where I didn't find so many things to dislike! It was very easy reading And I blew through it without it feeling like it was any effort at all. That's the sign of a master story-teller! You do have to check your brain at the door a bit, and go with it for the sake of mindless entertainment, or you have to decide not to read it at all. I chose the former.

Despite it being a while since I read the two previous volumes (and I was late coming to this trilogy) it really didn't take me very long to get back into it and start really enjoying it. Carson offers no lead-in to volume three, so you have to recall what happened in the previous volumes, but she does provide a pointer here and there without them becoming a tedious rehash. The first part of the novel (actually, the entire novel, let's face it!) is a "road" trip as Elisa sets off with three companions across desert, forest, and mountain in hot pursuit of the group which abducted her fiancé, Hector. This novel (as were the previous two) is written in young Queen Elisa's first-person PoV, so I didn't appreciate Hector's first person PoV being added to the mix. I could have done without that, especially since I saw no point at all to it. It really struck a sour note for me because his attitude towards Elisa during his captivity was completely different from what he displayed to her after the party caught up with and freed him! Weird.

But once he was freed, it was then down to Elisa to decide whether to flee back to her own land while she has the chance, or to confront the Invierno people, and of course, being Elisa, she decides to do the latter, to see if it's possible for peace to reign over the two quite different peoples. Meanwhile she has been practicing strongly with her magical powers, trying to produce fire as the animagi do, and she succeeds without too much effort, as does, surprisingly, Storm, her Invierno companion. She also has her "maidservant" Mara traveling with her, along with her trusted "right-hand man", Belén. In addition to this is the malingering Hector, of course, recovering from his ill-treatment at the hands of his kidnappers, and a very young (and nameless) slave girl whom Elisa had bought from the former's ill-using owner. Finally they sit at the outskirts of the Invierno capital city, and Elisa needs to figure out how to go about making peace.

Carson needs to do some work on her biology and eco systems. Post-Invierno, down in the mines they run into scorpion-like creatures they call death-stalkers, one of which is huge. The problem with this is that there is nothing down there in the caves and mines to sustain them, so why on Earth would there be literally hundreds of them? What would they eat? What did the mother eat to grow to the size of a rhinoceros (or however big she was)? I can deal with scorpions (I actually found one in my bathtub one night - must have crawled up the drain!), but I can’t deal with the poor plotting which has these creatures showing up without any logic to any of it, and for no other reason than a cheap thrill, and to pointlessly kill off a character.

I was also a bit disappointed in the ending. It was fine enough as far as it went, but it didn’t go far enough, because there was too much left unexplained. If this were the first of a series, that would be fine, but it was the last of a series, and there were serious questions left unanswered. The first of these was all about the godstone: what was the deal with these things? Nothing about them was explained at all: not why they were given to some and not to others, not why each bearer of a "living godstone" had a dumb-ass quest (as did Lucera-Elisa in this volume), not why far more magic was available to the godstone-bearer than such a paltry quest needed. Indeed, none was needed for Elisa's quest (except to get her to the location where she needed to fulfill it. The other, and bigger question for me was tied to the origin of the non-Invierno people. Where did they come from? Why (and how) were they brought to the Invierno planet and by whom? What kind of power is it that comes up from the ground to power the godstone magic? None of this is answered.

Other than that (and that's a big that!) the ending sufficed. It wasn't brilliant. It did show that Elisa would be fine as she was - without the need for artificial aids in her life, but there were a lot of relatively minor loose ends left hanging, blowing in the wind, not least of which is what the heck the title was supposed to mean, exactly! Even at the end of the novel this wasn't clear! However, since I really enjoyed this novel overall, and the series as well, I have no problem rating this a worthy read and recommending this entire series. Bon Appétitle!


Monday, October 28, 2013

Paradigm by Helen Stringer





Title: Paradigm
Author: Helen Stringer
Publisher: Mediadrome Press
Rating: worthy


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration of any kind for this review.

Erratum:
p117 "...picked up his coat and started rummaged through the pockets." should be "...picked up his coat and started rummaging through the pockets."

Well this novel started out with two black marks Against it! The first is that it has a prologue (aka lazy and gratuitous info-dump), which I naturally skipped. Again, if it’s worth telling, it's worth putting right there in chapter one. The hell with prologues, epilogues etc, and especially the hell with a prologue which starts: "The sky was blue." Duhh! Really? The second problem was with the contents page. It has a list of 37 chapters, but there are no chapter titles and there are no page numbers indicating where the chapters start. So, since this novel looks like the final version, and there's no indication that it’s an uncorrected galley, my question is why do we even have a contents page which tells us nothing?!

I don't do covers or back-cover blurbs in my reviews since the author typically has little or nothing to do with those things, and this blog is about writing and authors, not about editors or publishers. But as long as I'm nit-picking, and since it's right there on the cover, I'm not impressed by yet another trope character with eyes of two different colors...! Finally Stringer, who uses the grammatically correct although increasingly archaic "whom", evidently doesn’t know the difference between superlative (best part) and comparative ("better part") on p30, but I'll let it go at that, because I can see where she could argue that her usage is correct in the context she intended it, and just like with "whom", correct grammar is itself becoming archaic for better or for worse. Or is it for best or for worst?!

But let’s focus on the story rather than the format quirks and nit-picks. This story seems to be heavily rooted in Supernatural by way of The Dukes of Hazzard, but given that I am not a fan of either show, that's not a recommendation. So now that we have our cute premise in place, it’s up to Stringer to show she can deliver a story which makes her choice of launching point worthwhile - and she actually does! Sam and Nathan (at least none of the main characters is called Josh, or Bo, or Cletus, or Daisy!) drive around in a 1968 GTO, rocking and jolting along what’s left of North American roads after some sort of apocalypse evidently some years from now. Given the state of the roads, why Stringer specifies a GTO (I assume it's a Pontiac GTO as opposed to a Mitsubishi or a Ferrari!) rather than a Hummer or a Jeep or some other off-road vehicle is an unexplained mystery (note that the Dukes of Hazzard used a Dodge Charger). Obviously it comes with the Sam & Nathan territory, but it's yet to be established if that is going to work!

Sam is evidently some sort of a telepath. He can hear the thoughts of others and can generate a directed EMP from his mind. Nathan is a con-artist that Sam curiously happened to take pity on, offering him a ride which evidently isn't over yet. The two of them are evidently (god only knows why) trying to make a career out of scavenging any old technology they can find (they seem to specialize in kitchen appliances) and selling it out of the trunk of the car. Unsurprisingly, they aren't faring too well in their occupation. And Stringer fails to explain, along with many other things she fails to explain, how the electrical grid system is continuing to work in this disastrous future, or if it isn't working, what they're using for power and how that's being fueled. They ran themselves, out of the last town that they visited when Sam noticed there were satellite dishes up all over the place. Quite what’s up with that isn’t exactly clear, but rest assured that Big Mother is watching. Given how bad the roads are and how thin traffic is, I'm also wondering how it is that convenient gas stations still dot the landscape.

Then there’s Alma the kick-ass biker girl, who runs into them (not literally) twice in the same day, and saves their asses when some hi-tech kidnappers, evidently intent upon procuring a Sam for themselves, try to sneak up on their camp one night. Other than being mysterious for the sake of being annoyingly mysterious, there's no word so far on why she would even want to help these guys, or why she mysteriously appears and then rides off so mysteriously, vowing they will never meet again after each time she encounters them. She's rather like the Harry Tuttle character in the Terry Gilliam movie Brazil!

I was given just enough in the first couple of chapters to keep me interested, but nothing more. I do like the way Stringer wastes no time in getting the story going (prologue aside!), so she does have that in her favor. The story moves at a good pace, with the dangers of living in this world shown competently without overdoing it. I found the business with the 'paradigm box' in Century City to be rather juvenile and unnecessarily mysterious, but then this is YA fiction, so I'm willing to let that go. I liked the way the character of Alma - younger than I thought she was, it turns out - grows and develops. She's definitely worth watching, but she's featured nowhere near enough in the story for my taste!

About a third the way in, I felt like I’d read enough of this to have some really useful thoughts on it. The first of these is that this seems to be written for the younger end of the YA scale, but it’s not unreadable. Some of it is simplistic, some of it not well-written in terms of providing a good narrative which keeps the reader sufficiently clued in. OTOH, too many clues might have made it all tell and no show - which means readers tend to be no-show as well!

One thing which seems to have been completely glossed-over is why Sam was tooling around the US, much less in an old GTO (which is evidently a hundred years old when this story takes place, so rumor has it). This made no sense to me, especially not if it was indeed a hundred years into our future, because the US has already passed "peak oil", and the rest of the world is going to be joining us very shortly. Even fifty years from now oil is going to be history: so where does Sam manage to get a regular supply of gasoline? Who produces it and delivers it to the out-of-the-way roadside gas stations which he frequents? If the electronics of the cities hurt him so much, and there are people out there who are trying to hunt him down, then why doesn't he find a quiet place miles from anywhere and just settle down and be self-sufficient and have zero profile? If John Conner could do it, Sam sure can!

I liked this a lot better when Sam finally got captured (after trying to make a run for it with the Paradigm box). He gets invited to dinner with the dreaded Carolyn Bast, who is creepily delightful as she plies her guests with toxic fish which, when seasoned correctly, renders those who eat it into a very compliant frame of mind; then she issues instructions to them and they do whatever she wants!

It's increasingly apparent that it's almost the norm for me, in many YA stories, to find that it’s not the lead character who impresses me most, but their best friend or side-kick. They are, all-too-often, the ones whom I find most appealing. In this case, the one who really shines is Alma. She impresses me more every time she shows up, but she shows up far too infrequently. If the story had been about her, I think it would have been more impressive. But as it is, it's acceptable and I am enjoying it reasonably well. I do like the way Stringer brings Sam and Alma together, although I still think she deserves someone better than him, and I'm failing to see what attracts her to him. He does make me feel a bit warmer towards him when he bids her goodbye - and she's sleeping and supposedly cannot hear him!

I have to confess that in the absence of information from the author, I become increasingly speculative about "Mutha" the 'big mother is watching' system which has eyes and ears everywhere and which can give people networking fixes for a few coins deposited into street vending machines! Since Sam is your typical, parent-less YA fiction teen, and his mother died before his father, and both parents worked for the corporation from whence sprang the 'paradigm box', and since Sam seems to have a really disturbing connection with Mutha, I have to wonder if Mutha is actually Sam's mother - that is: is the AI controlling Mutha a clone of his own mother's brain patterns or something? I guess I'll find out - but I'm not going to spoil the fun by telling you!

Stringer apparently doesn’t realize that Jell-O® is a registered trade-mark on p307, but she gets away with it by genericising it (is that even a word? It is now!) to "jello". On p360, Sam claims he has tapes that play in the car, but after a hundred years, no tape is going to play - the magnetization would simply fail or become so muddy that the tape was effectively unplayable. But enough niggling! The bottom line is: do I like this or do I not? I read most of it, but have to confess that I found myself skimming the last sixty pages or so, wanting it to be over, ready to move on to another novel. It dragged on too long and wasn't interesting enough to make all those extra characters that Stringer typed worth poring over.

I think, on balance, I am going to rate this just over the worthy side of warty. There were problems with it. It was too long for its content, and there was too much disjointed stuff going on - kinda like you’d expect from a first novel. Alma becomes way too much of a deus ex machina - showing up always when she was needed and seemingly in impossible ways, and there's no rationale for why she's attracted to Sam; but then is love rational?! Alma was just too convenient, and we never got to see her really strut her stuff, so in the end I was disappointed in her, especially given the huge potential she had. Alma, BTW, is the Spanish word for soul or spirit (inter alia) so it was a good name for her in many ways. Having said all that, inside this novel there was some really good stuff, and I think this author has places - interesting places - to go, so in deference to that, I rate this a worthy read to encourage her and authors like her, to stretch themselves and take us further in the future, and I rate it worthy because, when all's said and done, it’s not too bad of a yarn.


4 to 16 Characters by Kelly Hourihan





Title: 4 to 16 Characters
Author: Kelly Hourihan
Publisher: Lemon Sherbet Press
Rating: WARTY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration of any kind for this review.

This is not a novel but one huge info dump in the form of screen transcripts from chat-rooms and the contents of emails and an online diary (read: diarrhea). It is without question the most boring novel I have ever read. I avoid like the plague this kind of person online, so why oh why would I want to read something which is nothing more than this same air-headed flatulence masquerading as a novel? If you're going to get radical in your format, then you’d better have something worth saying in the content. This didn’t. It jumped from the title page straight to the info dump - a fact that I initially missed because it initially looked like nothing more than publishing information! I had to back-track several pages to get to the start and it just wasn't worth the effort; then came the pointless, disconnected jumble of crap.

This volume doesn't tell a story (unless it’s about how easily a life can be wasted), and it offers nothing else. I have no interest in a character as shallow and vacuous as the one portrayed here, much less in someone who can fill an entire Kindle screen with "OMG", and who cannot pen an exclamation point without it becoming a parade.

At one point the character gets all excited about a short story contest, but there is nothing about this character which says short or interesting, and as long as she's wasting all her time in shallow chat and mindless self-absorption, what on Earth would make me think she'd have the discipline to put together a short story worth reading? I kept skimming through this, screen after screen, looking for something worth reading, and I failed to find it. Even when I skipped to the last few pages, I saw that nothing had changed, nothing had grown, nothing had developed, and nothing interesting ever came up. At 25% in I gave up because I'd had zero interest to begin with.

If this novel had been only 4 to 16 characters, it might have been worth reading, but even then it probably would have been "OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!" and that's it. As it was, it's warty.