Rating: WORTHY!
This is a collection of assorted very short stories which are all focused on lesbian relationships. A tiny few were very good which is why I am recommending this. Some of them were awful. I refuse to believe that these stories constitute the best lesbian romance for a whole year! Either that or the editor (who wrote the last story) doesn't have the first clue as to the difference between romance and adolescent lust. With very, very few exceptions, this book seemingly set out to prove that lesbianism is nothing more than cheap and shallow lust. I can't imagine why it's referred to as romance since there's so little romance in evidence here.
If this kind of thing had been written with one of the protagonists being a guy, it would be considered a superficial overdose of juvenile hormones. I don't think lesbians should get a free pass. Is it not possible to write a romantic short stories? I know that part of romance is great physical attraction, but that's not all it is by any means. I thought a lesbian perspective would appreciate the mental as being superior to the physical, but I evidently thought wrong! Either that or I'm reading the wrong authors.
The thing about the best lesbian romances is that there really wasn't any sex either, which is the other reason for which something like this might have been written - as soft-core porn. All of the stories were pretty much about some woman who was not up for a relationship, or who hadn't had one in a while, or who was sour on them, meeting someone brand new and pretty much launching herself at her new acquaintance's lips, or her new acquaintance launching herself at her lips.
It was pretty much all about new relationships, almost instant kissing (just add warm lips) and lustful thoughts about bodies. Only one story was about an existing relationship, and that was just plain odd. Fortunately, only one or two stories actually depicted sex, though. The saddest thing is that very nearly all of these tales were essentially the same trite story with only the character's names and ages, and the setting being changed. It was romance by numbers, where the template was pre-drawn and all you had to do as an author was color between the lines. Boring.
For some reason I had the idea that lesbian romances would not be as cheap, shallow, juvenile, and tawdry as hetero romances. I thought there might be a different perspective on it with some deeper insights. I'm sorry to say that I was so wrong! Anyway, here we go with a few or fewer) words about each one.
Hearts and Flowers by Theda Hudson
There's a somewhat dysfunctional relationship between Gina and Jen. To me it didn't feel realistic. That is to say it began feeling like it was real, but it grew increasingly fake to me. I found it hard to see that a girl who likes to be on the receiving end of (some mild) BDSM ends up rather cruelly punishing the woman who likes to give it, and without a really good reason.
The best way to pursue a relationship in which both parties are evidently seriously invested is to be open about I - not to walk out in a huff, offer neither solace nor information, and hope your partner figures it all out before it's too late. On the good side, this was technically well-written and had some nice moments, but it had a fake feeling - like I was reading fiction, which is exactly what it was, but it shouldn't feel like that to a reader.
Mother Knows Best by Rachel Kramer Bussel
This is a Very short story about how Stacy met Tanya, the love of her life. Stacy is 38 and her Mother is trying to match-make her not with a guy but with a girl. Stacy likes a girl whose ass she can smack?! This is too stories in a row where one partner likes to inflict pain (even if only mildly) on the other. This was not a great introduction to a series purportedly about love in my opinion!
There was also a lot of objectifying, which is curious form female authors, yet here it is! That said, this story did have a certain sweetness to it, and Tanya definitely came out of this looking as hot as she was purported to be when Stacy's mom told her about this new girl she wanted her daughter to meet.
Twelfth Night by Catherine Lundhoff
The unfortunately named BJ is in lust with Tasha, a fellow player in their production of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night which turns out to be more like As You Dyke It turning into The Comedy of Eros or Amid Sappho's Night Dream. Nadine has the hots for BJ, who has the hots for Tasha. Sara, BJ's supposed best friend is pissy. At the last minute BJ decides to relinquish her role as Viola and take the Duke Orsino's role instead so that the more suitable Tasha can take the starring role in order to impress the critic who will be at opening night.
It's pretty obvious from the start how this is going to play out. It's one of those YA stories where the guy (or less frequently the girl) doesn't realize that the best friend is actually also the ideal partner. You'd have to be pretty stupid not to realize this, and you'd have to be a moron to go that long without sharing your feelings or without them becoming obvious from numerous hints and circumstances along the way, so I wasn't impressed with this one.
Boiled Peas by Clifford Henderson
This one is about Penny and Lil a couple in their mid-twenties, who aren't even a couple when the story begins but you know for a fact they will be one when it ends. For me it felt just a wee bit too convenient and fairy-tale-like, but maybe twee was what the author was aiming for in translating this into another language, so to speak. It is very convenient Lil happens to come over on the very night when Penny, feeling annoyingly sorry for herself on her birthday, is about to eat boiled peas with her champagne. Lil is the apartment's new maintenance person, and Penny is about to celebrate her birthday and remind herself that her mother was right when she compared her daughter to the princess who was obsessed with the pea.
It's also a bit too convenient that Penny, as a self-diagnosed ice queen, suddenly thaws after knowing this girl for all of a hour. I could only buy this one as a fairy tale.
I think I will Love You by Rebecca S Buck
"She was beautiful in a striking sense"! In what way, I found myself wondering, is something beautiful yet not in a striking sense? This story - the story of how wounded Carolyn, and dominant, shameless Karmen pair up, marked three out of four stories so far here where physical appearance is held up as a positive trait! It also, disturbingly, marked two out of four stories wherein the prospective partners leapt into depth (if not bed) on the first date (in one case literally, and in the other, for all practical purposes). Is this what we want to represent lesbians as being - half the time they're committed in one way or another, the other half they ought to be committed for being as loose as the gravel on Carolyn's driveway?
Camellias by Anna Meadows
This is yet another example of a rush to sex
The Panacea by Colette Moody
Simone and no, not Nina, but Hope - a crashing personification - meet in a coffee bar, except that Hope is serving the brews and Simone comes in feeling bruised after being laid off. All Hope has in mind is getting laid on Simone.
Lost and Found by Andrea Dale
We couldn't get two screens into this one before lust raised its ugly head. Lara, in Hawaii for god knows what reason since she isn't attending the sessions at the conference, wants to drag Evie into bed the moment she lays eyes on her. So here am I, half way through this romance book and there's been zero romance, not so much as a spell of magic, no hint of subtle seduction, in fact, nothing but lust raising its ugly head. Do lesbians really need this rap laid at their door?
If this one had been written about a guy picking up a woman, it would rightly be pilloried. Do lesbians get a bye where guys don't when it comes to objectifying women? I think not. We're supposed to be treating genders equally are we not? Does romance, when it comes to lesbian relationships mean nothing but the shallow and superficial? I hope not.
A Witchy Woman Called My Name by Merina Canyon
I don't know if Merina Canyon is really this author's name, but it's a pretty cool name regardless. This was a good story with an ending I totally expected, so no surprises except at how clueless the main protagonist was. Still a decent read and more romantic than most stories here.
Rebound by Charlotte Dare
Is a story of a mature woman who falls for an even more mature one, and while in some ways it's charming and has an element of realism to it, it still focuses purely on lust and physical attraction (and is a bit more graphic than most stories here). Despite a happy ending - marriage, it has disturbing overtones of stalking in it.
Things I Missed by Kathleen Warnock
This was one of the most enjoyable stories, if tinged with sadness. It's about regrets and brushing off regrets, and it's about cruel injustice and faded friendships. It's very different on tone form many of the others. There's no room here for the shallow and superficial, for the lust and hormonal rampages of so many other stories in this collection. It's a mature and serious story and was very much appreciated.
Dirty Laundry by Cheyenne Blue
Another author with a cool name! Set in Eire, this truly appropriately-titled story is about the appalling cruelties organized religion is capable of perpetrating, in this case upon "wayward girls" in an evil convent where "Love thy neighbor" never did get any air-play evidently. Maura is the new girl dumped in the convent, torn from her baby and is fortunate that Eileen chooses to befriend her without thought for anything she would get out of it. Eileen's sin was to be unwillingly molested by a priest. What she does get out of it is a lifelong friendship and the love she was starved of for nineteen years before she met Maura. This was a brilliant, sweetly-written, though hard-to-read-at-times story and made this collection worth enjoying, all by itself.
The Game by Elaine Burns
This one was also one of the best. Short and to the point, perfectly titled, beautifully written. What looks like a first encounter over a pool table has much more going on than you'd imagine! Who's going to break first?!
The Gift by Sacchi Green
I was starting to wonder at this point whether giving your daughter a cool name means she will grow up to be an author of lesbian romance stories! This one was excellent if rather fantastical. Unlike the other stories, this one had an element of the magical to it - and I don't mean purely the magic of romance! The question of this Christmas night was: how are Lou - stuck on an unexpected tour of duty in Afghanistan, and Meg - urged by Lou to go enjoy their planned vacation in Switzerland anyway - going to get through this family night without each other, their own family, to hold hands and hug? Maybe the odd gift box Lou was handed by an Afghani woman she helped can help Lou in turn? Or is that just too ridiculous?
Rock Palace by Miel Rose
This story is about Taylor and Lilly (not Lilly Taylor) - a late twenties early thirties couple. Taylor grew up on a farm and feels a need to get back to her roots, but she's never had a girl she could take back to those roots with her. Finally Lilly came along and Now Taylor thinks that there's a possibility that she can have the best of both worlds. The story was gorgeous - just gorgeous.
The last story, by the editor, I'm not even going to talk about because it was so awful. So most of them turned my stomach, but a precious few, a happy few, a band of sisters; for she to-day that shares her story with me
shall be my sister; be she ne’er so vile, this day shall gentle her condition. I recommend this for those few.
