Saturday, September 4, 2021

Meant to Be by Lauren Morrill

Rating: WARTY!

"Fans of David Levithan will love this" - you know if you have to compare an author to somebody else, you've already lost, and on top of that you've insulted your readers. Booklist should stick to listing books. "On a school-sponsored spring break trip to London, studious Julia is partnered with her personal nemesis, Jason." Of course she is because this is yet another YA cookie-cutter clone cliche of a story that offers not a shred of originality, and features a dumbass main female charcter talking in first person. Don't try to deny it. You know it does. Es la Ley!

And founding fathers forbid that we should just tell a story about two English kids in London. Nobody wants to hear that; also, in the US, it's illegal for an author to have no US-native-born citizens in the story, even if the story has nothing whatsoever to do with the USA. You think this is crazy? Have you not seen what's been happening in Texas lately? We're long past crazy. Crazy was that ill-marked left turn a few miles back. No, we're way beyond that. We're into plaid now - the Plaid of Allegiance. Even if you write a story about the world before the USA existed, you still have to have a USA natural-born citizen in it.

And guess what? If you try to tell a story without a US person in it, the Taliban will take over. It's a fact. It happened in Afghanistan. You know it did: as soon as there were no US-type people left there, what happened? You got it! It's called 'us' for a reason. So this is why we absolutely cannot have just any two kids in London. No! That's illegal; they have to be native-borns or you're a traitor.

"But as the two race to solve a quirky mystery, they learn how much they have in common." Of course they do. You see it's the 'quirky' that got me. I'm sorry, but I'm allergic to 'quirky' in a book blurb. I fonly they'd put 'qwerty', I would ahve bene fine, but now I'm tearing up and sneezing, Gotta go....