Rating: WARTY!
Colors: Alex Sinclair
It's day three of the July Smack-Down, and we have Girl Genius up against Wonder Woman. I have to tell you that I'd take a girl genius over a buxom wench any day of the week, including weekends, but I shall try to remain neutral if not neutered here! Wonder Woman: Who is Wonder Woman? is a graphic novel about Donna Troy, the new Wonder Woman - or is she?! It's part of a series of which I have read none but this, so my grasp of the arc is limited, and Wonder Woman's history is such a rat's nest of re-invention, rebooting, and reduplication that I defy anyone to make a coherent narrative of it all anyway, so that's not going to stop me tackling this one!
Troy arrives at a hostage scene where the hostage-takers are demanding to speak to Wonder Woman - the real one, who was, of course, Diana Prince (not to be confused with Princess Diana, although this is how the original Wonder Woman is referenced in a flashback). Sarge Steel (seriously?), the director of the Department of Metahuman affairs explains this to Troy while he lights a cigar. Seriously? How pathetically clichéd do you want to get? Well, it turns out that this story was destined to apprise us of that in all manner of ways. And what's with that expression on the cover?!
Donna Troy is purportedly Diana's sister (kinda sorta maybe?), although there's no explanation as to her choice of name. Is it her real name? Is it an alias as Diana Prince was for Princess Diana of Themyscira? Wonder Woman has had a score of origin stories over the years, but originally, she was made from clay and went to the US to return Steve Trevor to his homeland. She came by her name by way of the real Diana Prince, who was an army nurse who was prevented from following her fiancé to South America because of a shortage of funds (and of course by the fact that the army didn't post her there - what was she planning on doing? Going AWOL?). Wonder Woman gave her the money to go in exchange for her credentials and name, and since the two looked alike, she took over the real Prince's name and job, and was able to take care of Steve in the hospital. I want to read the real Diana Prince's story.
The hostage-taker is Barbara Minerva, but she isn't working alone. She's in league with the hilariously named Doctor Psycho, and the bigger-than-life Giganta - who evidently can change her size at will since there's no other explanation for how she came to be in a place for which the entrances are too small to accommodate her. Dr Psycho is evidently into cross-dressing and transgenderism, because he shows up disguised as the original Wonder Woman. It's all very confusing, especially since none of these three is really the mastermind.
It gets worse when we learn that Cassie Sandsmark - who is Wonder Girl - is hallucinating that she sees Superboy, We know she's hallucinating, we're told, because Superboy is dead. Then how come Superman is alive? I guess that's "explained" somewhere back down the line but it makes zero sense.
From there this comic devolves into a mishmash of set pieces, and more and ever more heroes are brought in for one panel appearances, including Batman, Flash, Green Lantern, Hercules, Nemesis, Robin, Superman, Zatanna, and a host of others who are unnamed but probably recognizable by fans of this world. Circe shows up and she's actually the only one who I'm rooting for, because she's the only one who has a real take on what's going on and what the root problem is with all these super-so-called-heroes.
In the end Circe turns out to be the good guy and Nemesis the bad guy. The end. I can't recommend this mess at all, especially not since it's told and drawn by a largely male team who seem to be obsessed with how improbably curvaceous they can make their heroes. In medical parlance, DC means discontinue (or even deceased) and this seems to be good advice with this graphic novel series! I can't recommend a novel which smacks itself down.
