Justice League Vol 1 Origin by Geoff Johns, Jim Lee, Scott Williams, Alex Sinclair

Rating: WARTY!

This is yet another reboot in an endless series of reboots. The New 52 was launched in 2011, essentially trashing everything that had gone before and rebooting all the DC Comics super heroes. This was revamped again in 2015, and then again in 2016 with a "rebirth' - isn't that what the New 52 was supposed to have been? Even within these so-called continuities, characters have been reborn and made-over endlessly to the point where it becomes completely meaningless.

So it's within that milieu that this rebirth of the Justice League - still using the antique name, note - that this comic arrived, and it really wasn't very entertaining. It's just endless fighting and that's not something I'm interested in. They're going to have to reboot again if they don't soon get a clue that endless fighting isn't entertaining unless you're a complete moron. They seem to be getting that in the movies now, but apparently not in the comics.

This was as poorly executed as the DC movies have been, although the recent (as of this writing) movie of the Justice League was much better and far more amusing than this comic was. The comic precedes all of the ill-conceived DC 'universe' movies (which officially began with Man of Steel in 2013), and you can see some of the ideas in this (or similar DC comics) have made it into the movies, such as Wonder Woman's love affair with 'ice cream' from her own movie, which for me is still the scintillating gem in the sadly tarnished DC movie crown. The 'demon' flying characters in the Justice League seem to have also been lifted from this or a similar story.

This story is an origin tale - not of the individual characters in it, but of the Justice League itself, and it's a pretty sad and dysfunctional story. We have Aquaman, Batman, Cyborg, Flash, Green Lantern, Superman, and Wonder Woman joining forces (or in the case farces) to defeat Darkseid the laughable villain featured in the movie.

The drawing (Jim Lee), inking (lead by Scott Williams), and coloring (lead by Alex Sinclair) were actually not bad at all, but the story honestly sucked. It begins with Batman and Green Lantern fighting, then they go find Superman and fight him; then Flash arrives and fights Superman. Aquaman shows up and starts bitching about Green Lantern who bitches about him in return. And so on, rinse and repeat. It's boring. It's juvenile. It's not a story at all. It's more like watching little kids play with their 'action figures' (read dolls - we all had them!), which is all this writer is doing, apparently.

The problem with this comic is that Geoff Johns wrote the entire story as one of endless fighting (between the super heroes), and of sniping, bickering, whining, and complaining, and it's not pretty and it's not entertaining. It makes these super heroes look like kids in a playground. Wonder Woman here is depicted as she traditionally has been, which means either in a skimpy skirt, or in a pair of bikini briefs. In this case it's the briefs and she looks idiotic. She didn't look that much better in the movie, but at least she had an excuse for her all-too-brief costume there.

Supergirl dresses exactly the same way, and that's one reason why I never did start watching that dumb show after I saw the pilot. Skimpy skirt, thigh high boots, and dark panty hose? Seriously? Is she a super hero or a dom? God forbid, after all the prattling about DC liberating the female super hero with Wonder Woman, that we should bring any other females to the big screen like Supergirl or Bat Woman! Not that Marvel is any better, but at least they do have a cadre of kick-ass females prominently featured in the movies they have released, especially after Black Panther brought us four who could hold their own in a movie (or four!). And god forbid we have the same characters on the TV and in the movies! Now they have two flashes? Two jokers? This is one reason I'm not overly fond of the DC world.

The only one who looks good as depicted in this comic is the Flash, who I've always thought has a really cool costume, which was ruined in the DC TV series. That's another DC comics TV representation that I actually watched for a while until I grew bored with the repetitiveness of it. Every season became exactly the same as the previous season: flash has to go up against some dude who's faster than he is. How pathetic! How boring!

In Arrow there was never-ending kung-fu fighting every single episode which was so ridiculous. If they'd taken a gun (even a stun-gun!) to a kung fu fight they would have been done with every fight in thirty seconds, but no, we have to stage the same fight sequences over and endlessly over again and let the villains escape. And the villain is always Damien Darhk. Barf. What's with these dumb-ass spellings? Darkseid? Dahrk? Give me a break! These are juvenile.

Worse, we have to have mind-numbingly endless flashbacks to the boring time Oliver spent on the island? Barf squared. Get a clue DC! Get some originality into your shows and movies. For my money, the only DC TV shows worth watching are Legends of Tomorrow which is hilarious and has kick-ass characters and fun plots - despite the Damien barf Darhk never-ending villain crap, and Gotham, which is just plain awesome. Apart from that, you can keep DC for me.

This comic is symptomatic of that lack of a clue - or that is symptomatic of the boring same-old, same-old world the comics purvey. Or is is Saiym-Ohlde, Saiym-Ohlde? One or the other. I cannot support this clueless puerile crap, and I will not recommend it. DC seriously needs a new shtick and they need it badly. The new 52 ain't cutting it. I'm forced to conclude that 52 is its IQ.

Wonder Woman Who is Wonder Woman? By Allan Heinberg

Rating: WARTY!

Colors: Alex Sinclair

It's day three of the July Smack-Down, and we have Girl Genius up against Wonder Woman. I have to tell you that I'd take a girl genius over a buxom wench any day of the week, including weekends, but I shall try to remain neutral if not neutered here! Wonder Woman: Who is Wonder Woman? is a graphic novel about Donna Troy, the new Wonder Woman - or is she?! It's part of a series of which I have read none but this, so my grasp of the arc is limited, and Wonder Woman's history is such a rat's nest of re-invention, rebooting, and reduplication that I defy anyone to make a coherent narrative of it all anyway, so that's not going to stop me tackling this one!

Troy arrives at a hostage scene where the hostage-takers are demanding to speak to Wonder Woman - the real one, who was, of course, Diana Prince (not to be confused with Princess Diana, although this is how the original Wonder Woman is referenced in a flashback). Sarge Steel (seriously?), the director of the Department of Metahuman affairs explains this to Troy while he lights a cigar. Seriously? How pathetically clichéd do you want to get? Well, it turns out that this story was destined to apprise us of that in all manner of ways. And what's with that expression on the cover?!

Donna Troy is purportedly Diana's sister (kinda sorta maybe?), although there's no explanation as to her choice of name. Is it her real name? Is it an alias as Diana Prince was for Princess Diana of Themyscira? Wonder Woman has had a score of origin stories over the years, but originally, she was made from clay and went to the US to return Steve Trevor to his homeland. She came by her name by way of the real Diana Prince, who was an army nurse who was prevented from following her fiancé to South America because of a shortage of funds (and of course by the fact that the army didn't post her there - what was she planning on doing? Going AWOL?). Wonder Woman gave her the money to go in exchange for her credentials and name, and since the two looked alike, she took over the real Prince's name and job, and was able to take care of Steve in the hospital. I want to read the real Diana Prince's story.

The hostage-taker is Barbara Minerva, but she isn't working alone. She's in league with the hilariously named Doctor Psycho, and the bigger-than-life Giganta - who evidently can change her size at will since there's no other explanation for how she came to be in a place for which the entrances are too small to accommodate her. Dr Psycho is evidently into cross-dressing and transgenderism, because he shows up disguised as the original Wonder Woman. It's all very confusing, especially since none of these three is really the mastermind.

It gets worse when we learn that Cassie Sandsmark - who is Wonder Girl - is hallucinating that she sees Superboy, We know she's hallucinating, we're told, because Superboy is dead. Then how come Superman is alive? I guess that's "explained" somewhere back down the line but it makes zero sense.

From there this comic devolves into a mishmash of set pieces, and more and ever more heroes are brought in for one panel appearances, including Batman, Flash, Green Lantern, Hercules, Nemesis, Robin, Superman, Zatanna, and a host of others who are unnamed but probably recognizable by fans of this world. Circe shows up and she's actually the only one who I'm rooting for, because she's the only one who has a real take on what's going on and what the root problem is with all these super-so-called-heroes.

In the end Circe turns out to be the good guy and Nemesis the bad guy. The end. I can't recommend this mess at all, especially not since it's told and drawn by a largely male team who seem to be obsessed with how improbably curvaceous they can make their heroes. In medical parlance, DC means discontinue (or even deceased) and this seems to be good advice with this graphic novel series! I can't recommend a novel which smacks itself down.