The only other novel I've read by this author was The Sorcery Trial which she co-wrote with Claire Luana. I did not like that because it was poor, and also too much of a rip-off of The Hunger Games. It seems like here we are again, this time ripping-off fairytales and I have to wonder why the author doesn't try to come up with something original. Normally I will not give these novels the time of day because they're all the same, but read on!
I made a mistake with this one, because I ended up misreading the book description and thinking it was something of a rival to my own Femarine because the princess is expected to pick a spouse and ends up choosing the last person anyone would expect. I'd misread pretty good though, and I thought she'd picked a woman, but she didn't! It was just that the guy she did pick was a kitchen helper who was improbably named Cynder. If I'd realized that small fact earlier I'd never have wanted to read the darned thing, but I was curious to see how it tackled a subject I've already tackled (so I thought), and I decided to give it a read. Bad mistake! It really was just like all the other novels of this genre, and in no significant way original or different at all.
The book description has it that (and I quote!) "Charm is the first in the Reverse Fairytale series by USA Today bestselling author J.A.Armitage. Take everything you think you know about fairytales and turn it on its head," but that's misleading because it didn't turn anything on its head at all except the gender reversal: that the princess falls for the help rather than the prince falling for the help. Other than that it's exactly what you'd expect in this sort of a story, and it's so, dare I say it, disenchanting to read and discover how uninventive and unimaginative it is.
Instead of telling the story from the PoV of Cynder, it's told from the princess's PoV, and while this seems superficially like a reversal, it really isn't, because all that does is turn it into a story about a princess in search of a groom like almost every other dumb-ass YA princess story that's ever been written. We get nothing about Cynder - not even why Charmaine would fall in love with him. It just magically happens, which ought to make Charmaine suspicious since Cynder has magic powers! But he's written out of the story pretty quickly (this is a trilogy which means the author doesn't know how to tell a story between only two covers and is in dire need of a good editor.
The story begins with Princess Charmaine, the second eldest daughter of King Aaron of Silverwood, who has grown up as a carefree tomboy, but her older sister, Grace, dies from an apparent heart defect. I suspect it's actually murder: I mean how can a royal have an undetected heart defect in this day and age? Do they never get medical assessments? So anyway Charmaine gets bumped to the position of heir apparent and has to step in for her sister in the upcoming ball where 100 eligible bachelors will arrive, one of whom she must pair up with.
I made it about a fifth of the way through before I couldn't stand to read any more of this. It's set in completely modern times, but the princess seems not to have a cell phone, nor any friends, and they seem not to have the Internet in this world because when the queen is telling her there will be a ton of bachelors at the ball, she adds that she's solicited photos of them all so Charmaine can see who's who. Apparently there's no online surfing to check these guys out. It was downright weird, and poorly thought-out. World-building sucked.
With it being a thoroughly modern story, the age of consent is eighteen, Charmaine's age, but to suggest that neither of these two younger daughters - the youngest, Elise, is 17, has ever met a male peer, let alone a potential mate, is quite simply ridiculous and fundamentally stupid. Is the author writing a novel or a fairytale? It seems like she can't tell the difference. In the former, one has to make it at least seem realistic. No attempt whatsoever was made in that direction here. It's written like it was aimed at a much younger age group, but unbelievably, it's not!
As soon as Grace dies, it seems that Charmaine becomes the biggest royal dumbass ever. She has never been considered the heir until now, granted, but you cannot spend eighteen years in a royal family and not have even the most basic knowledge of protocol and etiquette. It's bullshit to suggest otherwise, yet we're expected to believe that Charmaine needs extensive tutoring and dance lessons! This beggars belief and makes her look like the dumbest royal ever, who has never been involved even remotely in any sort of royal or public life.
The novel is, as is usual for this YA garbage, unapologetically sexist and anti-feminist. Why female authors persistently write trash like this escapes me completely. I guess as long as LCD readers dominate the audience, then writers have no incentive to raise the bar do they? I disagree!
Here's one of the earliest sentences in the book: "With her stunning white blonde hair, two or three shades lighter than my own, and her darling face, she would make an excellent queen." Yes, it's in first person of course, and this is Charmaine's dumbass assessment of her kid sister. So that's all it takes to be queen? White blonde hair and darling looks? Charmaine is a fucking moron, period.
How does Charmaine rate in the 'looks' department - because this shallow piece of trash is all about appearances and skin-depth. In this world, nothing else is important: not heart, not integrity, not honesty, not experience, not dedication, not commitment, not decency, and not strength of character. Nope. None of the above, only shallow looks and pretty dresses. Charmaine is "A dirty blonde that nothing but the strongest hairspray and lots of pins could tame." Yet she gets a one-day makeover and she's suddenly gorgeous.
But here's the thing: there are magicians in this world - called magi. There are many of them who work at the palace, yet not a one of those was ever called in to tame Charmaine's hair? What is the fricking point exactly, of having magic in your story if it's never, ever, ever, ever used for anything, and your world proceeds entirely and solely by the rules we're familiar with in our own world, where no magic exists? Again, piss-poor writing, and despite the "magi" there is no magic to this novel.
The story is replete with inconsistency. Were told that mourning for Grace lasts two weeks and the royal household is wearing black, yet the very next day Charmaine is expected to wear a white dress for a bullshit interview on TV! But that's fine, because neither Charmaine nor her kid sister show any sort of grief over Grace's death! Maybe they murdered her? Who knows in this piece of crap?
Elise gets into raptures over Charmaine's make-over when she learns Charmaine has had her legs waxed because god forbid a single 'unnatural' hair should be found anywhere on the female body. How gross! How ugly! Burn the witch! Elise says, "Yeah, but you have nice smooth legs. I swear I'm turning into a gorilla." Way to diss every woman who has body hair, Armitage. Jesus fucking Christ is that how you view your fellow women who choose to be natural? They're gorillas? Because body hair is disgusting? It's unnatural? It's ugly and so are the woman who don't want to shave it? For fuck's sake get a clue, Armitage before you ever write another insulting word.
Here's the weird thing: these two girls are continually presented as sheltered, never having any contact with boys, yet they have these views of body hair? And nowhere in their royal life have they ever had any sort of royal treatment before? Again, piss-poor story-telling. Someone asks Charmaine, "Do you want to go into that ball not having a clue how to act," but she's been a royal for 18 years! Only a dedicated moron could live eighteen years in a royal family and have no clue how to act. Way to diss your main character, Armitage!
During her lessons on how to be a royal, Charmaine misses dinner, so the advice to her is: "You'll have to go down to the kitchen and ask the cook for something." Wait what? The princess and heir apparent has to go ask for food? There is a thousand people working in the place and she has no one she can call, no bell pull to ring, to get service? She has to go to the kitchen and beg for food? Again, piss-poor writing because this is the only way this author can think of to bring Charmaine into contact with the love of her life - a magi who uses his magic to wash dishes in the kitchen Apparently they have TVs, but no electric dishwasher in the palace.
Of course the creepy Cynder is overly familiar with the princess and ends up dancing with her - he can teach her but the best dance teacher in the country cannot? He has his hands all over her and kisses her on the cheek. Seriously? Again this is a dumbass rushed "love" story where these two characters are literally forced together by the author. They have to be forced because they're written so poorly and pushed together so ham-fistedly that the author has no choice but to force things. They sure as hell aren't going to happen naturally with this kind of story-telling, because they have zero chemistry and have a relationship that makes her look dumb and him look a creep. Again: it's lousy writing.
I've embarked on a few truly dumbass stories in my time, and this one is right down there with the worse of them. It's badly-written, stupidly-plotted and an insult to women everywhere. I'm done with this author permanently.
