The Story of Doctor Dolittle by Hugh Lofting

Rating: WARTY!

While I've seen the Dolittle movies (both the Rex Harrison version, and the Eddie Murphy version) I've never read any of the books. You could argue that I still haven't since the one I review here is a Dalmatian Children's Classic (so-called), and as such is a condensed version (adapted by Kathryn R Knight) illustrated (by Nick Price) with many line drawings in which Dolittle is very much drawn in the mold of WC Fields!

As with many older books, there have been complaints of racism inherent in the book's pages, which I find rather disingenuous when applied retroactively. Yes, there are old books which are racist by today's standards, and the Dolittle books are among them. There are even old books (Mein Kampf comes to mind) which are racist by their own contemporary standards. I can't really speak to that since the version I read was an adaptation which has been washed clean of the original racism. I also find it interesting that Eddie Murphy agreed to act in this role given the book's history! Maybe they were aiming for some sort of redemption by making Dolittle black?

I have read various commentaries on this topic. It isn't a defense to say that this book isn't racist by its own contemporary standards. The original of this novel was racist by any standards. Is it a defense to say it isn't maliciously racist? By that i mean did it actively intend harm through the racism it contained? I don't think so, but that doesn't mean it wasn't harmful. In this version, the racism has been bleached (yes, that is a reference to the original!), but I think as long as I'm mentioning this, it's only fare to also mention that Lofting wrote other books in this series condemning of slavery, and that even in this book, he depicts an African king who is pissed-off with white men because of their depredations of his nation's natural resources. To me, this goes a little way towards mitigating against charges of overt or active, or outright malicious racism. That does not make the book lily white, so to speak.

My biggest complaint about this particular version of the novel isn't about racism or the fact that the doctor speaks to the animals or they to him - it's children's fantasy after all! - but that the author doesn't have a clue about animals. Hugh Lofting was a soldier (he originated the idea for these stories in the trenches in France in World War One), not a veterinarian or a biologist, but even so, it would not have taken much effort, even in 1920, to look up a little bit about Africa to discover that it isn't home to Orang-utans. Nor would it have taken much more effort to discover that gorillas, orang-utans, and chimpanzees are apes, and not monkeys, and eagles are not commonly found out on the open ocean! It was that kind of thing which annoyed me more than anything else, so for me, the story was sadly lacking in a decent foundation.

Given the premise - a doctor discovers he has more affinity with animals than with humans, and can understand them and therefore treat them expertly - it seems to me that a golden opportunity was wasted here to teach children something about animals, biology and evolution. The novel may well be be moderately entertaining for very young children who question little, but for my money (and note that the book is available free online) it really wasn't a worthy read at all (I skipped a lot of the second half), not when there are more modern and better written novels with these themes - animals and adventure. Besides, this novel is out of copyright now, and neither Hugh Lofting (who died in 1947) nor his estate are going to get anything for it if you buy it! Whether oyu think he ever deserved anything for it is up to you! Maybe it's time for someone to rewrite this in an intelligent, educational, and non-racist way?

Bob's Burgers by assorted writers and artists

Rating: WARTY!

This graphic novel combines issues one and two and is evidently based on a TV show which I have never seen. It looked interesting from the blurb, but failed dismally in the execution. The art work was cartoon-ish, which perhaps fits the TV show, but which wasn't very interesting to me. The main character, Tina, looked like she sported a mustache, which was interesting to me (how often do we get a female character with a mustache, even in cartoons?!) - interesting that is, until I discovered that there is no mustache - it's just the way her mouth is poorly drawn!

Tina herself proved to be a rather one-note and uninteresting. There were times when the humor was moderately amusing, and there were some interesting concepts which I felt deserved better treatment than they got, but for the most part the stories were boring and did not entertain me. There is, periodically, a story told in rhyme, but I took to skipping these after I'd read the first two because they were even more boring.

Note that this was an advance review copy so some of my comments here may be irrelevant depending upon what's done with the actual published version. That said, I do not recommend reading this on an iPad because the art work was a bit scrappy-looking. This is, perhaps, because of reduced image quality for the e-version, but this doesn't say much or the e-version, does it?! Worse than this, though, was the fact that the text was too small to read comfortably in some panels because it was so tiny. I don't think comic book creators should issue ebook versions of their comics unless the comic has been specifically designed as an ebook and the comic is written specifically for the ebook format. It simply doesn't work otherwise and exhibits a certain disrespect for e-formats.

In terms of the print version I was a bit shocked at the profligacy with which paper was wasted. Perhaps fans of the show might not consider it a waste, but even were I a fan I would still consider it wasteful when a comic book arrives with twenty or thirty pages of variant covers and so-called "pin-up" images. I have to wonder why the creators hate trees so much! Maybe this is intended to be printed on recycled paper? I would hope so.

As it is I cannot in good faith recommend this one for the reasons I've discussed: hum-drum stories, mediocre art work, and shameful waste of trees.

The Daughter Claus by D Thrush

Rating: WORTHY!

The author doesn't know a while heck of a lot about the North Pole, but she can tell a story and I recommend this one. This was an unusual, if slightly flawed novel, but charming and amusing nonetheless, and I consider it a very worthy read. Flaws? What do I mean by that? Well one example is the fact that this novel was published in 2013, yet this ambitious Gothic rock band featured in the story was obsessing over making and releasing their first CD. Who does that anymore? They would have been posting their singles on iTunes and Google Play, and elsewhere if their behavior had been consistent, but that's a quibble. I have one or two others I'll mention, but none of them interfered with my love of the story.

The tale told here is that Santa is getting old, and is looking at retiring to Florida where he and his wife Clara have a condo. The fly in the snow is Santa's son Nick. Santa expects him, as the firstborn son, to take over the family "business", but Nick has other ideas. He wants to pursue a career in Goth rock, with his band, "Black Ice" (and release a CD!). Poor daughter Santina isn’t even considered as a replacement - despite the fact that she's the one in college pursuing a business degree - because she's a girl.

This "business" thing was a bit weird, since there was no money being made in this operation, yet they were talking about elf wages, and union contracts, and the costs of modernization. Santa made enough to buy a condo. In Florida. It made no sense and nothing was offered to explain cash flow in Santa's Business! Again, a minor quibble, but definitely confusing.

On the day Santa is supposed to head back north, he has a heart attack, and while the injury is minimal, he requires surgery and is laid up for some time. The only person who can step in is Tina, who isn’t due back at college until the fall. Nick is on tour with his grudge band (that's a garage band which has a bad attitude, LOL!). Tina has her own ideas about how the business should be run, and she starts in making changes and improvements, and getting everyone to work together in harmony. Even the sleigh-pullers are reined in, dear! Her jerk of a father and jerkess of a mother are not supportive. Frankly, those two parents are intolerable and intolerant and need a serious lump of coal stuck somewhere the sun doesn't shine - which would be the North Pole in wintertime, of course....

How will this all pan out? Well, you'll have to read the novel to find out! I did and loved it! There were some issues, as I've indicated. The story gets a bit bogged down with day-to-day humdrum and with Tina having the hots for a guy in Nick's band, who is improbably named George. Her best friend Lisa has the hots for Nick until she discovers how self-centered, and career-focused he is. He can’t even remember her name. I'm not sure why all that was tossed in because the story was working fine without it. Not every main female character in a novel has to have a love interest, male or female. The majority of them tend to work better without. In this case the involvement is kept to a minimum, so it’s not awful, but it isn't necessary, either. If you were going to do something like that, why not really stir things up and have Santina and Lisa fall for each other?!

One interesting thing about this is that the Kindle version I read on my phone has page numbers! See? it can be done, Amazon! There are two hundred pages, but it’s a very fast and easy read. I do think the author didn't quite fully appreciate that this was taking place at the North Pole (when it wasn't set in Florida), however! This was not in Antarctica, nor was it on some land mass in the Arctic circle. It was actually at the North Pole, where the elevation above sea level is maybe ten feet! There are no mountains at the North Pole, so the assertion that Tina "...noticed the distant mountains draped with a smooth white blanket" is nonsensical! There are no mountains there - not even in the distance!

Also, it’s the North Pole! All directions from here go south, and there are no time zones, and therefore no meaningful time differences! So how do we explain this: "Tina called Lisa at lunchtime the next day. She had to take into account the time difference." What time difference? The time zones don’t go by latitude! And did I mention that they're at the North Pole! Are we to understand that Florida is on a different time zone to the North Pole? What does that even mean? Or is the author simply confused because the North Pole has only one sunset and one sunrise per year?! Yes, you can argue that they're on North Pole time which is aligned with some time zone other than the one in which Florida resides, but why would it be that way? Why wouldn't it be aligned to whichever time zone Santa is in?

If it’s aligned to a time zone other than Florida, then why not fully embrace Holland or England where this Christmas legend began? Why would Santa go to Florida? Why not vacation in Holland, or if he wanted somewhere warmer, an overseas territory like Aruba? The legend of Sinterklaas originated in the Netherlands, not in the US, although a lot of his modern trappings became accreted there. 'Father Christmas' originated in England, so why not vacation in England or one of the warm English overseas territories? Why Florida? This bland assumption that only the US is of any account at all is as arrogant as it is annoying, and no rationale is offered.

This bigoted US-centric approach is clearly delineated when we're told that "Most of the elves lived in the area and had gone home for Thanksgiving." Why would they? Are all the Elves American and Canadian? Not every nation celebrates thanksgiving! Things like this were real irritations. The US isn't the world, and behaving like it is doesn't win it any friends. Also, Geothermal energy not an option at the North Pole unless you're prepared to set your plant under 13000 feet of water! Again, North Pole is pure ice. There is no land there! Santina would know this so why would she even consider geothermal energy as a cost-saving measure?

Those minor annoyances aside (complaints which most people probably wouldn’t give a second thought to if they ever gave a first!), I really enjoyed this novel. The characters were interesting and endearing, particularly Tina and her friend Lisa. Tina's family were deliciously obnoxious. When it came to stepping up, for example, where was mom? Clara Claus was just as bad as her husband! She offered not a lick of help. It was all, "Let's dump on the kids, and make them carry our dreams for us!" Santa was a blinkered grouch and Nick was a selfish juvenile. How Tina ever put up with them is a mystery. But they were family, so they were stuck with each other!

This just goes to show that I can fully enjoy a novel despite having some grumpy issues with it, if the author tells me a good enough story. This one was original and refused to follow stereotypes even as it remained within the broad framework of traditional Christmas fare, and I think it was great. The reindeer were inspired. They were a riot, and the pub scene was in some ways reminiscent of the Chalmun's Cantina scene from Star Wars episode 4. The reindeer were a delight, and it was overall, and despite some annoyances, a really good Christmas story.

Kringle by Tony Abbott

Rating: WORTHY!

The blurb tells us this novel is set around 500AD, but Rome had abandoned Britain almost a century before that! If the novel had been set in, sat, 420AD, it would be more accurate. Anyway, set during the time the Romans were withdrawing, and the nation was falling into the dark ages, long before King Alfred started having fantasies of uniting the kingdoms, this fantasy story tells of increasing depredations not by Anglo-Saxons, Picts, and Irish, but by goblin hoards, who come up from underground during the night and pillage villages, and kidnap children. Why do they need the children? Well you'll have to wait until almost the end of the story to discover that!

This novel delivers a slightly different take on the traditional Christmas story, especially since it stops short of the Christmas story! It's more an origins and quest tale than a Santa Claus story as such. Kringle is just a boy, but one who matures rapidly after losing Merwen, his step mother, and who has to strike out on his own to avoid falling into the hands of the goblins. Instead, he falls into the hands of the friendly elves, and later makes friends with "pirates" who sound more like Viking raiders. In his quest to find Merwen, he discovers secrets about the rune stones, about the longest night, about the goblins, and about the elves, but he discovers most about himself, his strength, his power, and the strangely communicative flying reindeer.

Told well, and with the story continually moving along, both in narrative and in location, this novel borrows elements from Lord of the Rings (but which fantasy doesn't?!), yet makes a fresh and original read. I enjoyed it. The worst part, for me, was the author's misguided attempt to try to incorporate elements of the Christian winter solstice mythology into the tale, and it didn't work. It doesn't belong, it contributed nothing, and worse, it stalled the story. He should have stayed with the goblins and elves, which was fantasy enough.

That was a small element though, and overall, the story was excellent, well told, captivating, and nicely ended. I liked it and I recommend it.

Mr Getaway and the Christmas Elves by Sally Huss

Rating: WORTHY!

This is a nicely drawn and colored, and poetically told story about a school class which gets a substitute teacher. Mr Getaway loves to do field trips (and evidently doesn't worry too much about permission slips!), and this particular excursion spirits the children away to the snowy wilds, where Santa's elves are busily creating this year's crop of toys, games, books, musical instruments and other assorted joys.

Sally Huss books often carry a message, and this one is to the effect that taking pride and joy in your work is a good thing. This is actually a wonderful lesson to impart to children, as long as it's not all work and no play! These children find themselves impressed that the elves are a happy bunch even when at work. They're sad that the elves don't get to play with the toys they make, but they learn that an elf's happiness comes from a job well done, and from giving without thought of receiving. These are good ideals at any time of the year.

We learn what Santa does the rest of the year and it turns out that he's really the Greek god Apollo, riding with the sun, or maybe the Egyptian god Ra, whose blessings come down on the sunbeams. I had no problem with this, until I read this advice: "remember when you look at the sun, think of me." It's not a good idea to look directly at the sun! Maybe "When you enjoy the sun, think of me" would have been wiser? That aside, I liked this story and recommend it. Since my blog is about writing as well as reading, here's a writing issue to ponder: For whom the who tolls?!

When Santa showed up, I read, "And whom do you think appeared in that space?" I think this should be 'who', not whom. Note that I am far from expert on this! Indeed think it's time to ditch 'whom' from the language altogether. No one speaks like that! But which use is correct? The trick, apparently, is to see if you can substitute a 'he' or a 'she'. If you can, then it's 'who', not whom. If, instead, you can substitute 'her' or 'him, then it's 'whom' which should be employed. If that's right and I translated this reasonably, then it's really asking, "Do you think he appeared?" To use "Do you think him appeared?" is clearly ungrammatical, which is why I'm going with 'who' as opposed to 'whom'. Whom knows?! 'And who do you think appeared?' just seems right to me, even if it's technically wrong!

But that's a writing issue to wrestle with. I'm not too worried about it here, because I liked this story. It was perky and colorful, and promises a fun read to enjoy with your children.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians by Lou Harry

Rating: WORTHY!

This is a novelization of a movie from 1964, and it shows! I'm guessing the movie is at the level of a bad fifties or sixties Disney live action movie, but I can see for myself, since it’s included with the novel. It's on a DVD claiming it’s a 'Holiday cult classic' although I’d never heard of it before. It extols the appearance of Pia Zadora - hardly an 'A' list actor, and she's in a relatively minor role as one of the children. None of the other actors are known popularly.

I'm not big into novelizations of movies or TV shows, so maybe this is why I have not encountered this book-and-a-movie deal before. Although the book is dated 2005, almost no effort whatsoever has been expended in updating the novel version of the movie. It is still referencing antique TV shows, for example.

The novel is printed in green text, and the gray-scale pictures are actually green-scale, which is hardly enticing. The pictures are evidently taken directly from the movie and have the amateur look of Hollywood 'B' movies to them. The news caster featured in one picture looks more Martian than the Martians do! The Martians are, of course simply humans with a bad paint job on their faces and hats with antennas on them. Because it’s so old, there is some unintentional (I assume it's unintentional!) humor such as when one Martian, remarking upon a comment on how lively something is, says: "You should see the nightlife on Uranus." That was the only LOL moment I got out of this book.

The plot is that the Martians who are technologically advanced, but profoundly stupid - very much like Spock in the original Star Trek TV show - decide they need to come to Earth to kidnap Santa Claus and try to figure out what he's all about. The Martians have no sense of humor, we're told, and no childhood to speak of, but are inexplicably addicted to United States network TV sit-coms. This suggests to me that they never actually leave their childhood! LOL! They end up picking up two kids who tell them Santa lives at the North Pole, so they all head up there and kidnap him.

The story is dumb and childish (and not in a good way), and the plot and script are stupid. There are some amusing moments, but nowhere near enough. The adult characters are universally moronic. I honestly cannot recommend this at all. I saw the movie and it was every bit as crappy as I suspected it would be! I fell asleep half way through and have no intention of watching the rest!

Evil Fairies Love Hair by Mary G Thompson

Rating: WORTHY!

The title of this novel made me laugh, so I decided I would like to give it a try, and fortunately, the local library came through for me yet again. I for one welcome our librarian overlords!

I was not disappointed when I started reading this either. The story is so quirky and takes itself so seriously in a comic way that I couldn't help but fall in love with it, but could it maintain my interest? Well I had to wait and see, but with every page I read, I became more confident it would not let me down, and in the end, I loved it.

This is the kind of novel that made me wish I'd thought of it first. It highly amused me, and made me want to keep on reading. The characters are well drawn (as were Blake Henry's illustrations) and the main character, Alison Elizabeth Brown Butler, was adorable, determined, strong, focused, and smart - in short, one of the kick-ass female characters I love to read about.

I loved that Alison was so determined, resolute, and would not give up even as the ground shifted under her. I also loved how thoroughly naughty the imps were! The obsession with hair, the evil imp leader's plan, the ambition of the children in pursuing and maintaining their wishes, the changing allegiances and the indeterminate ending were all brilliant and I loved every little switch and change as the story unfolded. I recommend this one completely.

Elwen The Dwarf is Stolen by Rhonda Tyler

Rating: WORTHY!

I loved this book, and especially the title of it, because it makes it look like we know from the outset who stole the dwarf: Elwen The Dwarf is Stolen by Rhonda Tyler. See, Rhonda Tyler stole Elwen! It's right there!

Seriously I really liked this book. The colored drawings are as idiosyncratic as they are endearing, the text is large, so it's legible even (or is that Elwen?) as an ebook on a smart phone, and the story is a charmer. Elwen is accidentally brought home by a woodcutter, who decides that he can make enough money to dwarf his current financial status by selling the little guyn for a princely price to the king, which he does, but it all works out in the end and the prince married an unexpectedly rich woodcutter's daughter! Wait, what?

A great story - original in my experience, and lots of fun, especially the images. I consider this a worthy read.

Poet Anderson by Tom Delonge and Ben Kull

Rating: WORTHY!

This story has evidently had its critics, but I really liked it, although it's a bit young for me personally. I liked that the dream world was a real world which these two boys, Jonas and Alan Anderson, could explore, but that it had some rules - like they couldn't fly, for example (even though there are dreams about flying, I loved the way it was summarily dismissed!).

The world started out entrancing and beguiling, but in short order, there came the bad things, and things which were even worse than the bad things. This I enjoyed. The Night Terrors, however, have a counter-balancing force known as the Dream Walkers, and maybe at least one of these boys is a candidate for joining them. But the question is, who is behind the Night Terrors, and will he ever be able to find his way into the real world, and conduct the same sort of terror campaign there, that he seems to manage in the dream world?

I liked this for the characters, the fast-moving story, the inventiveness, which never went overboard, and the general set-up for a series. The art work by Djet was cool. Like I said, it's a bit young for me, but I can see a great potential here and I recommend it as a winner for the intended audience.

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan

Rating: WARTY!

I started listening to Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief this past weekend and this morning. It's pretty bad and very much a rip-off of Harry Potter. It's like cut-price Greek mythology - set in America no less - meets Harry Potter. There's even a wand, after a fashion - it's Zeus's lightning bolt. Someone stole it and evidently the gods are, as usual, utterly incapable of discovering who took it or where it is. For reasons unexplained, they zero-in on Percy Jackson, who is, unbeknownst to him, the son of not only his mother, but also Zeus's brother Poseidon, who's been banned by Zeus from seeing his son. The Greek gods were the original dysfunctional family.

In order to protect Percy from unspecified potential enemies, his mom evidently had no other choice than to take-up residence with a disgusting guy who abuses her to a caricatured degree, mentally and physically. Evidently his smell is powerful enough to hide Percy from enemies who are evidently as dumb as the gods. Percy attends a special private school, although who pays for this goes unspecified. The only thing taught at the school, it would seem, is ancient Greek mythology, and Latin. Why Latin, I have no idea whatsoever. No Roman gods are involved in this story! I studied Latin for two years in high school and got nothing out of it other than a better understanding of English, which I could have arrived at in far less painful ways, trust me!

As is typical for this magical child trope, Percy, like Potter, grows up in pain and is kept in ignorance about his true origin and nature. Like Potter, he's bullied at school, and he's been told that he suffers from ADHD and dyslexia. He discovers he can read ancient Greek with no trouble, but plain modern English escapes him. I never knew that was what dyslexia was all about! Wow!

I was having a hard time getting into the story, mostly because Percy was incredibly stupid and blind, and the mythology had been dumbed-down to childish levels presumably to appeal to the lowest common denominator. I had quite liked the movie, which despite its flaws, was considerably better than the novel. It was tighter, smarter, better told, and more 'sensible', although it still fell short of being truly good.

The movie changed a few significant things, too - such as Percy saving Grover from the minotaur in the book, which was changed to Grover saving Percy in the movie; then came the second movie which sucked! This morning, I decided that this first novel was very much of the same nature as the second movie, and I skipped to the last couple of disks figuring I could skim through those before I drop it off at the library this afternoon. It's gone, girl!

My conviction that this novel would never improve and would be just as bad at the end as it was at the beginning, was fully confirmed and amplified upon. After hearing the guy who was reading this story pronounce Charon as Karen as opposed to Care - on, and discovering that Kerberos (not pronounced with a K, but begun with a 'ser' - as in Ser-bian in this novel), and discovering that this fierce guardian of hell was really just a puppy who liked to chase balls, I had pretty much heard all I could stand. I never like Annabeth in the movie (she was better in True Detective), and I liked her just as little in the novel. And why was she named Annabeth? She's the daughter of a Greek God and she's named with a Hebrew name? Grover is a Satyr, and gets an English name?!

This author has no respect for the mythology and dumbs it down incredibly. What in the name of the gods inspired him to take Greek mythology and then divorce it entirely from Greece and set it in the USA? What logic or rationale is behind that? Obviously none. The Empire State Building is Olympus? It's really saddening that he trashed and cheapened some fine mythology instead of fully capitalizing on it. On the other hand, he has a best-selling franchise from treating his readers like they deserve nothing better, so maybe the rest of us should jump on this bandwagon and start turning out equally careless LCD novels? I honestly don't l think I can do that, and I certainly can't recommend this as a worthy read. The grpahic novle is no better. I posted a negative review of that in June of 2017.

The Cabinet of Earths by Anne Nesbet

Rating: WORTHY!

This novel was beautifully written and had an historical feel to it even though it was set in modern times. It was also set in France commendably, thereby proving that the USA isn't the only nation where interesting stories can happen. The main character, however, was American.

Twelve-year-old Maya and her family - kid brother James, her mom, and her all-but-absent father - have moved to France for a year. Maya's father has been offered a job at the chemical philosophy society, Why, we never actually learn, we can merely guess. Maya and James attend school, and meet their oddball cousin Louise, who is all but invisible to everyone, and even when Maya looks at her she's inexplicably hard to see. But she's a great French teacher.

Close by where Maya is living, there is an odd building with a sculpture of a young woman's head above the door - a sculpture which looks disturbingly like Maya. And did that weird brass salamander door-handle actually turn and look at her? And smile? What's the deal with the old man she meets and his 'cabinet of earths'? What earths are they and where do they come from? Is there any connection between those and the children who seem to disappear too often - and then return somehow changed? And what's going on with her oddly good-looking and beautifully purple-eyed uncle?

The answers to these questions are original (at least in my experience!) and engrossing - and even disturbing. Will Maya be able to protect those she loves or if she does, does it mean she must sacrifice herself to do so? This is the start of a series, so you know she's going to come through okay - that negates the drama somewhat. And there's a guy - Valko - who befriends her, but there is no romance here, just friendship, and Maya certainly doesn't become a wilting violet in his presence or become dependent upon him to rescue her. She's a commendable young woman: responsible, thoughtful, strong - a female main character of a kind which is all-too-rare in stories written by female authors. Maya puts to shame a score of young adult female characters, and Anne Nesbet is to be congratulated on writing such a character and putting her into a story which wholly immersed even a jaded adult reader, I recommend this story highly.

Monstrovia by Mark H Newhouse

Rating: WORTHY!

"I’m so cared! Really scared!” I don't think the author meant the first one to be 'cared', but you never know!

Everyone knows the story of Jack and the Beanstalk. Do beans talk? Well if you eat enough they will find a way of expressing themselves. But do you know the real story? What if Jack wasn't a hero. What if he was a murderer, hacking down the beanstalk knowing that the innocent giant would plummet to his certain death? That's the premise presented to the courtroom here, and Brodie's uncle is the only person standing in the way of Jackson Bordenschlocker and doom!

I read the advance review ebook version of this story. I understand the print version will have illustrations by Dan Traynor, but there were none in the e-version. This marks the third of an odd trilogy I am going through right now, featuring Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury, Camp Midnight, an advance review graphic novel by Steven Seagle, and this one. While Bradbury's novel turned out to be merely wicked gnarly, the two ARCs are curiously parallel in some ways in that they both feature a child packed-off for the summer by their primary parent, and the child finds him/herself stick amongst monsters. I'm not a fan of first person PoV novels, and I had some difficulty getting comfortable with this story to begin with, but it grew on me as I read and in the end it was a truly worthy read.

Brodie Adkins's mom is going to China, and for reasons unknown she doesn’t want him along, so he's sent to stay with his crazy uncle, who’s a lawyer. What Brodie doesn't know is that his uncle works in Monstrovia - a parallel monster and fairytale world and there, he's considered a hero, and known as Doofinch the Defender, who stands up for downtrodden monsters. All Brodie wants to do is go back home, but he finds himself drawn into this world against his wishes and better instincts when Emily Beanstalk, aka Bordenschlocker shows up worried about her brother Jack, who's accused of murdering this giant, Eugene Bulk.

After having climbed the beanstalk with Emily to find Jack and bring him down to earth - so to speak - the latter two disappear, and when they're found, Jack's mom and key witness Annabelle Goose go missing! Jasper Doofinch feels they’ve been had - that Emily used them for the sake of rescuing her brother, but Emily turns out to have more going for her than you might think at first. She's strong and feisty, self-determined and self-possessed. She didn't seem like the kind of person who would require a boy to help her with anything.

Emily is evidently smarter than Brodie, too. At least she knows that while spiders may be poisonous, the correct word to refer to their ability to inflict painful and potentially dangerous bites, is 'venomous':

“Are the spiders poisonous?” I am reaching into the back of my shirt for a good scratch. I’m all itchy.
Emily looks serious. “Oh, Monstrovian spiders are very venomous. One bite and they turn you into a scratching post!”

Quite clearly Emily knows that poisonous refers to what might happen if you ingest an animal that's not good for you. Venomous refers to that thing's ability to inflict damage if it bites or stings you. Mushrooms can be poisonous for example, but they're never venomous. Snakes are venomous, but not poisonous judged by how many get eaten, even by humans....

The beanstalk is also an interesting character. Despite being cut down, presumably by Jack, it can regrow - and does well on lawyer jokes. It evidently has feelings. I started wondering if it would end up as a character witness for Jack! Jasper is more interested in taking a gander at the goose, but when she gets on the stand, she lays an egg - and not in a golden way. Can Jasper, his nephew Brodie, and Brodie's new friend Emile save Jack from the juggernaut jaws of giant justice?

This novel was hilarious, and an easy, fast read. I highly recommend it.

The Big Witch's Big Night by Sally Huss

Rating: WORTHY!

I have a mixed relationship with Sally Huss books. I dislike about as many as I like, so at least I know that if I hated the last one, there's a really good chance that I'll love the next. That's what happened here. This one was thoughtful and funny and educational. The premise is Halloween (yes, I know this is one of several I'll be reviewing late! Sorry! At least I'm getting them out of the way before Xmas reviews, which I'll no doubt post in January!)

The poetic meter is that of Clement Clarke Moore's A Visit from St. Nicholas, but here it's all about Halloween so instead of "'Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro' the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse" we get "'Twas the night of Halloween and all through the house every creature was stirring, even the grouse."

The witch is greeting trick or treat-ers by offering them dead fish or worms, and she seems to be having little luck until one particular kid finds a way through her thorny exterior - and that;s the end, but not the end of being kind! It's a fun story; it's well told, and I recommend it.

Camp Midnight by Steven T Seagle

Rating: WORTHY!

Having enjoyed Seagle's American Virgin series which I reviewed in August 2015, I was interested to see what he'd do with a children's story, and I wasn't disappointed.

Illustrated very nicely and appropriately by Jason Katzenstein, in really eye-catching bright and shifting colors, this children's novel tells a really good story about a feisty girl, Skye, who accidentally gets sent to a summer camp for monsters instead of one for children. I fell in love with Skye from the off. She's self-possessed, willful, motivated, thoughtful, and doesn't take crap from anyone. Why is it that so few female YA authors are able to create main characters like this?!

Maybe I had Halloween on the brain, but I swear I didn't plan on having three scare stories in my lap at the same time: not only an audiobook version of Ray Bradbury's Something Wicked This Way Comes about two kids, but also two advance review copies of stories where a kid is bundled off for the summer away from a primary parent who is going to be wa-ay out of town, and the kid ends up surrounded by monsters! It will make for an interesting comparison of the latter two, though one is a graphic novel. and the other a chapter book.

In this graphic novel, Skye's mom is off to Rwanda for the summer, and isn't about to take Skye along (I'm guessing she doesn't want Skye coming down with Ebola or being recruited into a children's army, but heaven help any Ebola virus or psycho military commander who tries to mess with Skye!). The young daughter is sent to stay with her dad and step mom - a non-mom she despises. Evidently the feeling is mutual, since stepmom has convinced real dad to bundle Skye off to summer camp. Naturally Skye not only feels like crap about this, but is acting out over it, and doing a professional job.

Intentionally or not, Skye ends up on the bus to Camp Midnight, and if the bus trip isn't creepy enough, the camp itself is creepier. The only friend Skye makes is Mia, a spirited but wilting violet of a girl she meets on the back seat of the bus. Their relationship is amusingly thorny to begin with, but broadens and deepens as the story progresses. Skye is surprised to discover that life in the camp seems to start at midnight instead of daybreak, and she eventually discovers that all the other kids (even the hottie boy she encounters) are monsters of one hue or another, and the camp counsellor is a witch.

Skye is in a bit of a panic as to what to declare herself as, when her friend Mia declares she will reveal what she is at a time and place of her choosing, and not before. Skye likes this idea, and adopts this same posture herself. Contrary to expectations that this might make her into the very a pariah she's starting o feel she already is, it lends her a mystique, and people grow interested in her, including the hottie boy, who has a hair-raising story of his own.

But what exactly, is Mia, and why do some of the other campers seem to despise her? And what will Skye do when Mia comes out and everyone finds out? The joy of this story was in finding out exactly how Skye navigates her way through this morass of monstrous, this quagmire of queer (in the olde fashion'd sense). needless to say - but I;;l say it - she does a fine job and ends up deciding she wants to return to this camp next year - and the start of a series, presumably. But not everything pans out the way you might think it might. I recommend this as a truly worthy read.

Lydia's Enchanted Toffee by Neale Osborne

Rating: WORTHY!

This is an abridged version of the 2009 novel Lydia's Tin Lid Drum, which I have not read. This portion of it, at least, grabbed my attention and imagination. I have confess a certain level of doubt over the merits of a story which is based entirely around children eating candy, but that said, this novel is very playful and a lot of fun. You can tell that the author had a lot of fun writing it, which is a good sign, although I wonder if even this abridged version might be too long for some people. For me it has a decent plot and reasonable pace, although I confess even I wanted to get finished, but that was because I have other things I need to read, not because this wasn't entertaining. Some people might grow tired of the endless word play, but for me, it's very much my style.

Note that this is a British novel which makes no concessions to the US (and "Well played, sir," says I!), so some of the writing may be rather obscure to non-Brits who are not anglophiles.

Lydia Rhodium lives on planet that looks (from the illustrations included) like a climate-changed version of Earth, where much of what we recognize as our planet has been submerged under water, leaving smaller, more isolated continents. She lives in Tinport, in the nation of Likrishka, although she's not actually from there. The entire story plays on the names of varieties of candy and sweets (some of them very British, such as Dolly Mixture), turning them into towns and nations and islands. I enjoyed the word-play but for others it might be overdone or obscure.

The maps distributed through the text will help depict the geography better than I can describe it. The world she inhabits is, on the surface, every child's delight and every dentist's nightmare: it's a candy world, where jellies and toffee (taffy) abound, literally growing on trees, or swimming in the sea. The problem here is that the nation in which she lives has been taken over by Stannic, and evil overlord who is obsessed with creating confectionary, and subjugating everyone by threat and with his metal robots which come in human, dog, bird, and other forms. All children are separated from their parents and raised by despotic 'Maters' - house-mothers cum-slave-drivers. The kids are required to study, and perhaps the best of them might get to work in Stannic's kitchens, as Lydia's much older step sister does. The rest get to work the mines and factories.

The advantage which Lydia has is that she can work magic when she eats a certain type of toffee. Her problem is that she's been denied this particular variety because it's imported and Likrisha no longer has access to it, but unexpectedly, Lydia's cold and uncommunicative sister visits her and leaves her some of this toffee as a gift. Now Lydia has power. She's already been shown to be a rebel, smuggling a cat into her lodging. Now she's on the run, and using her magical power to fend off the robots and stay out of Stannic's clutches. This came to pass along with another unexpected diversion in the story: Lydia meets up with a team of young girls with adorably oddball names and dress sense. This is where they really embark upon a fun and inventive adventure across the continent in search of the magical candies which will bring down Stannic's evil despotism.

The story did seem very long, but overall I enjoyed it and I recommend it was a worthy read.

Frozen by Jennifer Lee

Rating: WORTHY!

This is a very short (two disk CD) version of the Disney animated movie Frozen, and I recommend it. It's really well done. it's credited to "Disney Press" but I'm crediting Jennifer Lee since she wrote the screenplay and finally dug Disney out from under the sugary morass of movie-making in which they've been embroiled for a half century. I was lucky enough to get a sneak preview of this movie, and I reviewed it favorably back in 2013.

The novelization is awesome, and carries the joy of the movie ( minus the songs) perfectly. I enjoyed listening to it and was sorry it was so short. I recommend this. The narrator has the rather contradictory name of Andi Arndt, but reads beautifully. You can't go wrong with this.

Corr Syl The Warrior by Garry Rogers

Rating: WARTY!

I wanted to read this advance review copy because I thought it would be a story very much in the mold of Watership Down which, though it had some issues, I enjoyed and reviewed favorably back in September 2014. This children's novel is nothing like Watership Down. The book is heavy going - there are endless chapters and a foreword, which I skipped. I don't do introductions and forewords - if it's worth saying, it's worth putting in chapter one or later. Once I got into the main story, it was less than thrilling. Maybe young children will like this, but it was hard to tell at which age group this was aimed, and from my own perspective it was not well done.

The ebook version of this novel struck me as in need to some work before it was ready for prime time. I suspect that it failed to weather the transition from original typescript to ebook version, because the formatting was way off. In literally the first four screens, on three occasions, I found text plunked down in the middle of other text where it clearly did not belong. This was the same on the iPad Kindle app as it was on my phone Kindle app, but it was not apparent in Bluefire Reader on the iPad.

On the very first screen, for example, there was a sentence which was evidently intended to read, "...began an imaginary combat exercise." There was also the italicized description of the beginning of the exercise, which started, "The Human assassin ran across the smooth stone with quick, light steps...". In the Kindle app version, these two were interleaved thus: "...and began an imaginary combat The Human assassin ran across the smooth stone with exercise. quick, light steps..." This same problem was extant on almost every screen where italics appeared with regular font text. On the very next screen, the sentence "...reached a conclusion For an instant..." was interspersed with the italicized "Rhya is intentionally avoiding me - does she actually like me?" to become, "...reached a conclusion For Rhya is intentionally avoiding me - does she actually like me?an instant..."

This same thing happened in the intro to part one (the novel is in five parts) giving us this: " dangerous inHistory of the Tsaebdividuals and species appear from time to time, and civilization needs its defenders. Morgan Silverleaf, Librarian of Wycliff". This screwing-up-o'-the-text seems to be quite a common problem with Kindle app versions for some reason. Rather than try to decipher it, I took to skipping those sections. There were other, unrelated issues, such as one part which read, "Addressed to , the letter was an invitation..." and which is obviously missing the addressee's name. This is not a fault with the Kindle app and is something a writer or an editor should have caught. There were also parts where lines of text ended early on one line and resumed on the next. Hopefully all of that will be fixed before this is ever released as a finished work.

The big question with writing a novel like this, where you're humanizing the animals, is how far should you go? If you fail to go far enough, you risk having the animals become unintelligible (in a broad sense), but if you go too far, they're too human and pointless. If all you're doing is putting humans in rabbit clothing, then why bother? You need to have some rabbit in there, otherwise all you have is humans dressed as rabbits, which is sad and boring, if not unintentionally hilarious. The same kind of problem exists when you create aliens for a sci-fi novel. In this case the author has the rabbits indistinguishable from humans except for their whiskers and fur, and this felt like huge fail to me.

Maybe children will go for this, but I doubt mine would. For me personally, it really began to bother me that the animals - not just rabbits, but all animals, were exactly like humans except for the fact that they had an animal shape and animal skin. They behaved, and thought, and spoke, and organized themselves exactly like humans, so I had to wonder what was the point of making them animals? What is it that's new here exactly, if all we essentially have here is weird or mutated-looking humans?

The rabbits evidently live in caves high on a cliff, which made no sense, since this has nothing to do with how rabbits live in real life, so why put them there? If you're going to put your characters there, then why make them rabbits as opposed to mountain goats or sheep, or something?! None of the animals wore clothes, but they seemed obsessed with wearing outrageous hats. I had no idea what was going on there.

These rabbits have some odd and unexplained skills - at least unexplained in the part I read. They have six streams of consciousness, yet nowhere is this apparent in their thinking, at least as far as being conveyed in the text. We're just told this fact and then it's apparently irrelevant after that. Worse than this is that despite being covered in fur, the rabbits blush! Have no idea where that thinking came from - what's the point of a blush response if you have fur? There seems to have been no thought whatsoever given to how these animals evolved in the way they supposedly did. And once again humans are the paragon to which they all have to aspire. Why? Why aim to take the road less traveled if all you're going to do on it is let yourself become mired in tired old ways and habits?

Their thought processes mirrored ours precisely, as I mentioned, even to the point of Corr seeing Rhya as "painfully beautiful" at one point early in the story. So not only do we get humanized animals, we also get them relegating women to pigeon-holes, one labeled 'beautiful' and the other labeled, presumably, 'beastly', because these are the only two categories females can be placed into even if they're rabbits, it would seem. How shallow is that?

I think it's wrong to focus on beauty and treat it like it's all that matters, and it's particularly wrong in a children's book where we need to avoid setting these absurd 'standards' most of all. Rhya was dancing at the time, so could we not have described her as skilled, or graceful, or daring, or something other than beautiful? Or at least qualified it by saying that she moved beautifully if that was what was meant? I think it's entirely the wrong message to send to children, and it was at this point that I decided I could better spend my time pursuing other stories. I can't recommend this one based on what I read.

Seaside by Wylde Scot

Rating: WORTHY!

Errata:
"the site of his mate" should be " the sight of his mate"
"in the octopus' grasp" should be " in the octopus's grasp" (octopus is singular, but using apostrophe with no following 's' wrongly indicates that it's plural. What is the plural of octopus? It's octopuses. 'Octopi' is not even a word, so avoid that one!
"filled with people form Seaside." should be 'from Seaside"
“Anchor’s away,” should be "Anchors aweigh"

This children's story is set around the town of Seaside, where ten year old Bobby lives on land, and young Walter lives in the ocean. He's an octopus which, contrary to the ideas suggested here, cannot live out of water for any significant length of time, although it can survive and even move around hunting on land for short periods of time. It cannot support itself on its "legs" unless it's in water, however. On land, it slithers and slides rather like a mutated snake.

There are all kinds of octopus videos on You Tube showing escapes. They can move quite well on land for a short time, even though they look improbably flat as they do so do so. Octopuses are the most intelligent non-vertebrate species, and they show excellent problem-solving skills. Also, all octopuses are venomous, although only the blue-ringed octopus is dangerous - even deadly - to humans.

I was amused when I read, "...great white shark hanging upside down." which technically would mean that it was suspended with its dorsal fin underneath, pointed at the ground, and its white belly facing the sky. I think the author meant that it was hanging by its tale, but who knows?! Hanging upside down is funnier. Perhaps the intended children's audience will not notice this.

Despite some textual errors, the overall story was well-written and engrossing, and I don’t doubt that children of the appropriate age will love it. It shows how three very different people (there's also a feisty pelican) can learn to live and work together and overcome oppression and wrong-doing, as well as have some exciting adventures together. Both Walter and Bobby step up where adults fail, and they refuse to give up until they achieve justice. I think the "school bully" motif is rather overdone in children's stories, so I wasn't thrilled to see it represented here, although no school was involved, but that aside, I liked the story and I recommend it.

Princess Callie and the Totally Amazing Talking Tiara by Daisy Piper

Rating: WARTY!

Another book by someone named Piper, but at least she has the name in the right place! This is book one, by a debut author, in a series. I am not a fan of series unless they are exceptional, especially not 'personality cult' series where the main character's name is in every title, and this series isn't aimed at me, so I don't plan on pursuing this one, but it did sound interesting for its intended audience, so I thought I'd take a look at volume one, and see what it had to offer. I have to say I was rather disappointed in it. If you find you like it however, the series is, as of this writing: Princess Callie and the Total Amazing Talking Tiara, Princess Callie and the Fantastic Fire Breathing Dragon, and Princess Callie and the Race for the Ruby Cup.

Callie, whose full name is Calandria Arabella Philomena Teresita Anastasia Richards (CAPTAR) has just turned twelve, but is immature and/or selfish enough to be thoroughly pissed-off that her father has a new love wants to remarry, two years after his wife died. In addition to his, she also discovered that she is the princess of a magical land hidden down a tunnel in her back yard, and the land is in desperate trouble and she's the only one who can save it - of course. So off she goes, with Lewis, and Wanda, the school bully, adventuring, without a word to her parent as to where she's going or when she'll be back. See what I mean about selfishness?

We're told that Lewis Farnsworth is her best friend, but what we're shown is that he's not a very good friend. For her twelfth birthday, he gets her something completely inappropriate, and despite the fact that she's desperately and obviously trying to tell him something important, he simply doesn't listen. He didn't strike me as much of a friend, and this is reinforced by his later behavior. Why Callie values him so highly is a mystery. I guess she's desperate, given everything else in her life.

There's trope and clichéd school bullying here which goes unpunished - another failing in this type of school-oriented novel. I have no idea what school this style of writer went to as a kid, but I feel sorry for such authors if they experienced anything like the caricatured brutality they depict, even when it's 'limited' to extortion and blackmail like it is here.

One of the things which annoyed me about his novel was the genderism displayed in it, not by the characters, but by the author. At one point she has two guys (her dad and Lewis) dismissed and told to go off and discuss baseball - like sports is all guys ever have on their minds, while the two girls (Callie and her stepmom-to-be) go off and discuss 'girl-power' - like person-power is inadequate. Here's another example: "She wanted to have normal dreams about normal things, like cute boys and shoe shopping and hair accessories." Seriously? I guess that's what passes fro girl power in this world.

I don't get why a female author would demean her own gender like this - as though women even at that age, have nothing on their mind but prettying themselves up like so many magpies decorating their nests. Yes, many girls are like that, but that doesn't mean we have to slavishly depict all girls that way all the time, like there is no other hope for them, than to be objects and dolls for the entertainment of men, and to feel that this is their sole purpose in life. This approach irritated me and that was it for this book. I can't recommend it.

The Festering Season by Kevin Tinsley

Rating: WORTHY!

This graphic novel commendably takes on the tragedy of police shootings of African Americans in New York City, but to me it cheapened the real tragedy by ascribing it to a weird vudu cult. I'm not sure why the author went this way because there's drama aplenty in the reality without having to tart it up with whack religious cults, but this is what we have here, so let's go with it on that basis.

While Tim Smith 3's art work was wonderful (using a Norman Rockwell style two-color printing process), Deborah Creighton, the editor, is apparently somewhat less than fully illiterate. I found errors of spelling and grammar which any editor worth his or her salt ought to have caught. There were errors such as "...if you have too" on page five, where 'too' should have been 'to', or on page eleven, where the grammar is totally screwed up: "And it is not like I have ever had any real choice in these matters is there?"

The reason I pulled this off the library shelf is that it appeared to have a strong black female main character, which is far too rare in books, and she intrigued me. She was well-worth the read. Her name is Rene DuBoise, and she's going up against Gangleos, a powerful vudu practitioner. Note that vudu is nothing more than a religious death cult like Christianity, Islam, or Judaism, and I have no time for meaningless mythology, but sometimes these religions, with their stories of the eternal battle between good and evil, can make for entertaining reading. This one did.

The story begins with two police officers shooting what they claim was a man trying to break into a store, whereas it was a woman, Rene's mom August, who was closing up her vudu paraphernalia shop for the night. I think we're supposed to perceive from this that the police officers were under some sort of vudu spell and were hallucinating so that perhaps the bad guy could take out a rival or someone who opposes his evil, but this isn't exactly crystal clear from the opening panels. Note that all of the incidents portrayed here have their roots (if not their detailed accuracy) in real life events in NYC.

Anyway, with this woman's death, her daughter Rene is brought back to NYC, and she moves into the shop which has been trashed by the police in a desperate search to find something incriminating to try and ameliorate what they're referring to as an 'accident'. I loved the way they're brought back to reality by the woman's sister highlighting the fact that seventeen shots fired into an unarmed victim cannot be dismissed as a mere accident.

The story touches on several religions such a Santeria, which originates from Yoruba in west Africa, and Palo Mayombe, which originates in the Congo, as well as Vodun, which originates in Ghana. Rene is a practitioner herself, and is forced to put wards upon her mother's grave to prevent agents of Gangleos from disinterring her body. This is all stuff and nonsense, but there are people who believe in it. In NYC itself, as this novel reports in the notes, there was an elderly woman who claimed to be a vudu witch. Her powers evidently didn't prevent her from being struck by a vehicle and killed when she was walking close by her apartment, but when cops went in there after the accident, they found masses of vudu paraphernalia and a newborn child preserved in formaldehyde in a large jar in her closet. I don't know if they ever did determine who the child was or how she died.

But the story takes real events and adapts them to make them fit this vudu plot, and it does it quite well. Within its framework, the worry makes sense and is entertaining. I enjoyed it and I recommend it.