"After a series of coordinated terrorist attacks, Navy SEAL veteran James Reece embarks on a globe-spanning quest to stop a ruthless enemy and a far-reaching conspiracy," Because only an American can fix the world's problems. Yeah. Been there, done that for four years and look where it got us. This novel should be retitled "True Arrogance."
Saturday, October 2, 2021
The Unwelcome Guest by Amanda Robson
"Everything is perfect between Saffron and her husband, Miles — until his mom, Caprice, moves into their home." Seriously? Saffron, and Caprice? Barf. I'm not wild about Saffron. Put Miles between you and this one.
Cowboy Bikers MC Books 1–4 by Esther E Schmidt
This has to be a parody, right? "Tired of having to choose between rugged cowboys and sexy bikers?" Never been a problem. I reject both in my fiction choices. Do rugged, sexy, biker-cowboys herd electric sheep? Barf.
These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong
"In 1920s Shanghai, Juliette must join forces with Roma, her first love and sworn enemy," Seriously? This is supposedly a retelling of Romea and Juliette, but why set it in Shanghai if you're going to use the same names? What are these two - American ex-pats? Why not? Because ancestors forbid we should actually have an original story or one without AAmericans in it! Yawn. And it has a sequel? Barf!
Irish Parade Murder by Leslie Meier
"Just as Tinker’s Cove prepares to kick off its annual St Patrick’s Day parade, reporter Lucy’s coworker is charged with a murder he didn’t commit. Will the luck of the Irish help her solve the crime and clear Rob’s name?" What a delightfully condescending piece of work this is to be sure and begorrah, complete with a leprechaun on the cover. Seriously? This from an American author who's apparently been to Boston, and so feels eminently qualified. Barf.
Friday, October 1, 2021
The Foundation by Steve P Vincent
"Journalist Jack Emery must expose a shadowy organization before it triggers the next world war." Automatic rejection of novels employing the most over-used 'male action character' name ever: 'Jack'. Get an imagination for goodness sake! Barf. And the plot sucks, BTW.
Dirty Rich Cinderella Story by Lisa Renee Jones
This author is evidently glued to the 'Dirty Rich' prefix for her titles. "Lori begins a new job only to find that her boss, Cole, is the man she went home with months ago for the hottest experience of her life. And this time, he wants more than one night with her..." Yep. He wants to know the name of the obscure sexual disease she gave him so he can seek treatment for it.... Barf. How many times has the name 'Cole' been used as the male half of one of these 'red-hot night of passion' stories? Far too many, that's for sure. The authors who write these have to be among the most tediously unimaginative ever.
Twice Baked by Andrew Grey
"When blogger Luke Walker is tapped to judge a cooking competition with his polar opposite ex, chef Meyer Thibodeaux, will it be a recipe for romance... or will they get burned a second time around?" 'Twice Baked' is entirely the wrong title for this - it ought to be called 'Half Baked' but I admit it's a grey area.
21 Immortals by Rozlan Mohd Noor
"After the discovery of a chilling tableau - an entire family murdered, then posed around their dinner table..." Wasn't this already done in European TV series on Netflix? Yawn.
Forging Fire by Lisa Preston
Since forging means the act of purposely creating a fake with intent to deceive, what's with the fake fire? Just kidding. It is a dumb title though. "When horseshoer Rainy Dale and her dog, Charlie, head to the Black Bluff bull sale, they find unexpected danger" I imagine she would if she's trying to put horseshoes on a bull! What a maroon! That's her job? Really? "horseshoer?"
A Murderous Relation by Deanna Raybourn
I read the original novel in this series several years back - or tried to - and it was a joke, so I'm not surprised to see the author continuing in that vein. "In 1888 London, sleuths...." Stop right there! That's me out when the word 'sleuth' appears in a book blurb. That tells me all I need to know. Veronica Speedwell and Stoker investigate the connection between a royal scandal and Jack the Ripper." Done to death in fiction and debunked in reality, what's the point? From my initial experience woth this author, I can tell you that there's nothing original in these stories if the first one was any guide. They're clichéd and trope-laden, and offer nothing imaginative, or entertaining.
ShadowCast by VP Morris
On the other hand, this title is tediously pretentious. "Investigative journalist Dakota is still haunted by the disappearance of her best friend, Maddy, 10 years ago. Determined to find the truth, she starts a podcast..." Another troubled detective story! Why'd she wait ten years? Guess she didn't care that much, huh? Yawn.
Tools of Engagement by Tessa Bailey
Okay, so I'll give the author the title; it is mildly amusing, but read on: "To win a home renovation contest, straitlaced Bethany must team up with frustratingly handsome Wes." Why? Why must she team up with him? And hasn't the 'frustratingly-' or 'irritatingly-' or 'infuriatingly-' handsome shtick been done to death? Evidently not for this frustratingly, irritatingly, infuriatingly uninventive and unimaginative book blurb writer. Yawn.
The Island Daughter by Helena Halme
Another cookie-cutter clone story: "After a devastating tragedy, Alicia returns to her island home to take care of her mother. There, she finds herself torn between duty and happiness - and unearths long-buried family secrets that upend her world." If I had a dime for every fictional woman who flees back to her hometown and uncovers a shocking secret I'd be richer than Jeff Bezos, may God rend his soul. And what's with the title? It turns the woman into a possession or appendage of someone else rather than her being her own person.
Into the Black Nowhere by Meg Gardiner
"A terrifying and brilliant read. I could not put this down" (Don Winslow) - that's because the publisher put superglue on the cover, Don. "FBI profiler Caitlin Hendrix tracks a serial killer who is brutally murdering women in southern Texas" Not gonna happen. Pretty much anyone can own a gun and carry it around brazenly in Texas these days. Serial killers have no chance. But you gotta love those who brutally murder. I gotta tell you: those considerate murderers aren't worth shit.
Lightwave: The Folding Space Series Books 1-3 by AM Scott
"Fleeing a bounty hunter, Saree sneaks aboard a ship, only to find herself surrounded by dangerous mercenaries" as opposed to those marshmallow mercenaries that no one worries a bit about. Yawn.
Travel Can Be Murder Cozy Mysteries Books 1-3 b Jennifer S Alderson
"While traveling around the world, tour guide Lana lands in the middle of deadly mysteries. From a killer on the loose in Budapest to a client who gets snuffed out in Paris, can Lana solve the cases before she's the next to depart" Who gives a fuck, really? And WTF is "Lana" doing interfering in this shit anyway? It's none of her meddling business. This truly is a case of someone needing to stay in their own lane. What an interfering asshole!
Coming Up for Air by Amanda Meuwissen
"Leigh Hurley was marked for death - until a sexy merman's kiss saved him from a watery grave. But when the sea-dwelling Tolomeo turns up naked at Leigh's apartment, the star-crossed pair will have until the next full moon to pledge their love... or risk losing each other forever." Like I care. I predict Leigh's gonna choke on a fish-boner if he doesn't get grunionorrhea... The real giveaway here is the way-the-fuck over-used term 'star crossed'. That's a big red warning sign in any book blurb. Just say notothen. It's too fishy.
Land of Shadows by Rachel Howzell Hall
"Detective Elouise Norton's sister disappeared 30 years ago." Oh look, yet another in an immensely long line of troubled detectives. Yawn. So she disappeared three decades ago and this dipshit is just now bothering to look into it? If she doesn't really care, why should I? Yawn.
A Racing Murder by Frances Evesham
"When a jockey is killed after a competitive horse race, retired police officer Adam Hennessy seeks to clear a disgruntled rider's name." Oh look - another retiree coming back into the fray, because that has only been done a bazillion times already. Yawn.
Playing for the Ashes by Elizabeth George
This is a defintie three strikes for this author. "DI Thomas Lynley and DS Barbara Havers uncover haunting secrets as they investigate a cricket star's shocking death." He should never have played with an aluminum bat in a thunderstorm, that's for sure...and aren't all deaths shocking in one way or another? Yawn.
Harvest by Tess Gerritsen
The Kirkus circus boasts that "The pages turn themselves"! LOL! That means this is a definite no. "When a dying patient receives a suspicious organ transplant," What's suspicious? The organ or the transplant? Dr Abby DiMatteo begins asking questions - and uncovers shocking answers." That's right! She discovers that the patient got an electric organ, and it's not properly grounded! Yawn. It's enough to make a key bored. No wonder Gerritsen is recommending other authors' books. Her own aren't worth reading, evidently.
Moonflower Murders by Anthony Horowitz
"When a hotelier's beautiful daughter disappears," Why is it relevant that she was 'beautiful'? If she had looked jsu tlike any average person, would her disappearance not have been not such a bad thing? We need to start puking on the shoes of all book blurb writers, publishers, and authors who countenace this abusive, insulting, and genderist shit. "...retired editor Susan Ryeland travels to a coastal resort to investigate." Yet another retiree coming out of the woodwork into the fray. I'm really curious how many times we're going to be hit over the head with this sorry trope/tripe? Barf!
The Boat Man by Dustin Stevens
"After the traumatic death of his partner, police detective Reed Mattox transfers to the K-9 division and begins a quiet new life in the countryside." Where he meets the dog of his life and gthey lvie happily ever after. And again with the 'retiree' being called back into the fray. And again with the Disney pet. Yawn.
The Iron Raven by Julie Kagawa
"When a powerful monster targets the Nevernever, it's up to notoriously clever fey Puck" Another writer too chickenshit to call 'em fairies! And Puck? Seriously? That's the best name you got? Do not seek any originality in this story.
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