Thursday, May 22, 2014

The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne


Title: Ink Exchange
Author: Nathaniel Hawthorne
Publisher: Recorded books
Rating: WARTY!

I didn't have to read this - I had it read to me by Flo Gibson on CD. Flo reads it appropriately. For a while, I thought it was Prynne, in her old age, recording her true confession, but it isn't. It's really Flo.

Nathanial Hathorne was born July 4th. He later changed his name to the commonly used spelling, because he didn't want to be associated with John Hathorne, a relative who was the only judge at the Salem witch trials to never acknowledge his murderous guilt in condemning so many innocent women to death in the name of the supposedly Holy Bible. The novel is an historical romance by two means: it was written going on for two hundred years ago, but it's set some two hundred years prior to that, in Puritan Boston, Massachusetts, USA.

Most people think of The Scarlet Letter as being a novel about one woman's dignity in the aftermath of what was then (and still is by all-too-many) believed to be a grave sin: adultery (by extension, sex between two children is infantry…). This novel isn’t about that at all. It’s about the complete and utter failure of organized religion. This novel is fiction, but it illustrates all-too-starkly how religion has failed: failed in and of itself, and predictably failed the people who invented it out of their blind ignorance and weak desperation.

It shows how Christians are hypocritical to their roots, and while you may rail at that, claiming that this is fiction, not a documentary, the fact remains that there isn’t a single thing depicted in this novel which has not actually happened in real life - and which continues to happen even today. Indeed, Hawthorne based this story on what he knew of several people from the era in which his novel is set. Prynne seems to have been named after Hester Craford and William Prynne.

Salem resident Hester Craford was convicted of adultery in 1668 by Judge William Hathorne, who was the very ancestor from whom Hawthorne sought to distance himself by adding a 'w' to his name! Another source for Hawthorne was undoubtedly Boston resident Elizabeth_Pain, who was buried in the same graveyard in which Hawthorne depicts Prynne being buried. All three of these people lived during the same period (early to mid-17th century) in New England.

One of the central tenets of Christianity is forgiveness, yet we rarely see it, so it's hardly surprising that no one was willing to forgive or forget in this novel! Why is Christianity so lasciviously in bed with hypocrisy? This is a religion which claims to follow Jesus Christ. Not that Jesus or Christ were ever his name. There's no evidence that there ever really was such as person as is depicted in the New Testament: a miracle-working son of a god. But Yeshua (Joshua - the real name we should be dealing with), was a very common name at that time (as were Mary - Miriam - and Joseph - Yusef), and it would be foolish to assert that there were no rabbis ever carrying that name. But while one or more such rabbis may have had an influence upon their followers and kick-started the delusion, I promise you that not a one of them was crucified, died and then came back from the dead two or three days later.

But even if we grant the Christians all of that: everything they claim for their founder, they're still hypocrites, because their founder was not a Christian! He was a Jew who practiced Judaism, not Christianity. Any so-called Christian who is not practicing Judaism is not a follower of this Yeshua, and even those westerners (or easterners) who might be such practitioners are still clueless, because the 'Jesus' they worship specifically stated that he had not come for the Gentiles, but only for the 'House of Israel' - so if your mother isn’t Jewish, you're not eligible! Modern Christians are not followers of Jesus anyway; they're followers of Saul, the snake in the tree who very effectively derailed this fledgling religion (as was his purpose all along!). Jesus lost, Paul won, and all his followers are hypocrites. Those self-same "puritans" who fled persecution in England, then turned right around and persecuted others!

The novel begins in 1642 when Hester Prynne is publicly condemned and humiliated as one of the original scarlet woman, for an adulterous relationship she had after her husband, who intended upon following her to Boston, was lost at sea, and presumed dead. In reality he was living amongst the natives where he no doubt learned his alternative medicine. Why Prynne was condemned so strenuously whilst no effort at all was expended upon seeking out her deflowerer is at the feet, again, of the Christian church, which has been down on women ever since Miriam the Magdalene was fictitiously turned into a prostitute at the behest of a dumb-ass pope (and you know the Pope is infallible right? Ri-ight!

Prynne is condemned to wear a scarlet letter 'A' visible on her person at all times. Any woman with the virtues with which Prynne is typically invested would have worn it on her ass. Prynne wears it on her breast as if to say, "Thanks for the mammaries". For reasons which are never revealed, she refuses to name her despoiler. It turns out, no surprises here, to be one of the local clergy, Arthur Dimmesdale, who only 'fesses up when he's dying.

By amazing coincidence, when Prynne is up on the scaffold, doing the first part of her penance, her husband shows up, but such a lowlife is he that he pretends to be an itinerant physician, takes the name of Roger Chillingworth, and never acknowledges that Prynne is his wife. He takes up residence in the town, obsessed in finding out who the father of Prynne's child is, rather than striving to support his wife.

At one point, the local governor tells Prynne that he's considering taking her child away from her to have young Pearl raised in a home which has a mom who is not a 'loose woman', but Prynne swears that she will never give up her child. Dimmesdale at least, sides with her on this and talks the governor out of taking Pearl away; then he toddles off home to flagellate himself and re-ink the scarlet 'A' which he has tattooed secretly on his own chest. Way to man up!

Prynne settles in a cottage upon her release from jail, although how she affords it, and even makes a living selling her needle-point is a mystery. At that time, the population of Boston was minuscule. The city had been founded only a decade before this novel is set. It's a bigger mystery why no god came through for her with his long-suffering forgiveness and helped her out by asking everyone "Who wants to throw the first stone?" So now Prynne has paid three penalties for this same 'crime': confessing and standing for three hours on the town scaffold, time in jail, and the permanent wearing o' the A. Wanna go for triple jeopardy?!

Eventually, Dimmesdale (no explanation is offered as to why he never married Prynne) dies in her arms after finally 'fessing up; then Chillingworth magically dies. Prynne and Pearl travel to Europe, where Pearl stays and marries, but Prynne for reasons unknown, returns to her cottage in Boston and lives out her years still wearing the 'A' instead of creating a new life for herself in Europe. What a moron!

I honestly can't recommend this novel at all. The first part (the 'Introductory') is the most tedious, monotonously dissipated pile of crap you will ever hear (or read). Some parts of what followed got almost interesting, but there was way too much of Hawthorne's endless rambling, self-congratulatory diversions to hold actual interest. I can, however, see why this is considered a classic: it's a classic pile of crap and is one of the very few books that I would actually support being banned from schools! Reading this did, however, give me an idea for a novel of my own, so it wasn't a complete loss for me!


Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Crown of Midnight by Sarah J Maas


Title: Crown of Midnight
Author: Sarah J Maas
Publisher: Bloomsbury
Rating: WARTY!

Here's my advice on this series: Assassinate it immediately! While Throne of Glass (panned here) at least had the pretence that it was a fantasy novel, Crown of Midnight doesn't even so much as nod in that direction. Instead, it's a sad YA teen romance (which paradoxically has no romance worth the name).

It's written like fanfic, about a spoiled-rotten, moody, pouty, juvenile girl. The dialog is amateur and the characters not remotely credible. Why Maas has such a ridiculously high opinion of herself is a mystery (her website bulls her as a New York Times best-selling author which, while technically true, is not the sort of thing you expect to find on a realistic and professional author's website! Way to puff yourself up! Real authors let their work speak for itself. If it can speak.

So, you may ask, since I trashed the first novel in this series, why am I now taking on the reading the second volume? Well, it sounded intriguing from my reading of the first couple of paragraphs, and skimming a couple more pages - an assassin who doesn't assassinate?! - so even though I'd rejected picking up this volume once before, and even though I expected to dislike it, I realized that if I'd given the execrable Divergent series a second chance by reading volume two, and also given the sad-sack Taken series a second chance it would be churlish not to give this one the same opportunity to fail spectacularly.

And it did. Fail. Spectacularly. To be fair, it was better than the first one, although it would have been pretty much impossible to write a novel that was worse than the first. Maas needs to get herself some honest beta readers, and she needs to ditch whichever editor it was who worked on this sorry volume. Nothing happens in the first 200 pages except a pathetic romance wannabe which goes nowhere and is written so badly that it has no life in it whatsoever. The only thing it really tells us is how juvenile and stupid the main characters Chaol and Celaena truly are.

Chaol is supposed to be the captain of the king's guard, but he never does anything. He behaves like he's unemployed, sitting around the house and watching TV - except that there's no TV, only books. And there are billions of books in this castle. Chaol never spends time with his men, he never trains them or trains with them. They never have drills. Instead he leads a life of complete luxury, swanning around doing whatever he pleases, which consists mostly of chasing, and agonizing and mooning over Celaena like he's a whipped whelp of a pup and she's his owner; then Maas expects us to believe he's tough and manly. No, he's pathetic. I can see how Dorian, the other leg of the triangle would wander around aimlessly moping - he's the Prince Charles of this world, but Chaol has no such excuse for an excuse.

I know this is fiction, but are we really expected to believe that a senior captain in the military is feeling guilt over killing someone in combat in an era of barbarism? Chaol, the captain of the king's guard, is your standard boring trope muscle guy. At one point, Maas has him speak, and then in the same paragraph she has an internal observation from Celaena. This is poor writing, and was quite confusing for a second or two.

Here's an oddity you won't find in your ebook reader: my edition of this novel appeared to jump from page 19 to page 90, but then I realized that it was page 20, with a really bad font for the numbers, which made a 2 look like a 9! So, on page 23 (not 93), Chaol is thinking if only he could get his "damn" breath back", which brings me to another writing issue: to be damned or to damn, that is the question! Contemporary use is 'damn' and be damned to grammar, but Maas has set this fantasy in an historical age, so to me it would make more sense to get back to the original usage: 'damned'. To me, that would make it more authentic. "Freezing my ass off" on page 25 is another example of this; 'arse' would have sounded much more 'authentic' to me.

The main character Celaena Sardothien isn't any better. I have to say if I were writing a series (and trust me, that's never going to happen) I would not want my hero having a name which is reminiscent of 'hyaena', but Maas has no such qualms. I've seen other novels where the main character has a name beginning with 'Mal', which is the French word for bad, but in which the writer has exhibited no sign that she was conscious of meaning or implication behind words (which is sad enough) or that she intended to use the name for a particular effect. It appears that Maas chose that name for no other reason than that she liked it, and has given no thought to what the name means or what it suggests or implies. That's really sad for a person who purportedly works with words for a living. Main characters deserve better than that, and we deserve better authors than that, but this isn't even the worst problem.

Celaena is eighteen, and has gone through hell, yet she offers no evidence whatsoever that she has ever suffered over anything! Instead, she behaves like a spoiled princess in a contemporary high school drama, buying endless 'designer' dresses, eating chocolate cake and cookies (yes, Maas insanely actually calls them "cookies"! Talk about wish fulfillment! This medieval kingdom has so many modern conveniences (glass everywhere, for example, and what would have been, back then, exotic foods (sugar, for example) that I'm almost surprised that there isn't a TV in her room!

Celaena is billed as being the king's champion. Sarah Maas keeps using that word, but I do not think she knows what it means! Celaena is the king's assassin. A king's champion on the other hand, is someone who fights in the stead of the king if he's challenged to a duel. No one dares to challenge this ruthless king, so why he would need a champion is a mystery which serves only to speak badly of Maas's evidently tenuous grasp of what she's doing here. For example, Celaena is supposed to be the best assassin in the world (no evidence has ever been offered for that), and her king is the most evil ruler in the world, whose bidding she is forced to do. So why does she not simply assassinate him?

Celaena is a spoiled brat, there's no doubt about that. I mentioned in my previous review how spoiled she was in terms of her spacious accommodation with the king's castle. That was after I went into how spoiled-rotten she was as a prisoner in a salt mine, where the long imprisonment had apparently had no effect on her appearance, body-weight, or health. She's also apparently paid so well that she can buy luxury clothes. That we're frequently told how well she's dressed seriously detracts from the aura of deadliness she's supposed to represent.

Her schedule is pretty darned easy, too. She's supposed to be planning the assassination, on the king's behalf, of an old friend named Archer, but she actually has no plans to kill him. She informs the king that it will take her a month to plan this and he acquiesces without a murmur of complaint! Yet once she's begun spying on this target which the king wants her to take care of asap, he then pointlessly pulls her from her assassination assignation to attend a royal dinner! She's not needed there and the dinner occupies only a paragraph or two, so this bit of lousy writing is nonsensical, and serves only to transparently stir up the triangle between Chaol, Dorian (the king's son), and Celaena, who speaks to this prince of royal blood in the most disrespectful, if not outright insulting manner, and yet she pays no price for it! Absurd!

Another absurdity is that we're expected to believe that Celaena, the greatest assassin in the world (LOL!), has a conscience and is sentimental. I couldn't buy that no matter how many times Maas tried to sell it to me. It doesn't even fit within the very framework Maas created around Celaena. We spend the first two-thirds of this novel suffering the growing and ridiculous excuse for passion between Chaol and Celaena, but then with one event, a momentous one to be sure, but still inadequate, we see Celaena turn from love, from envisioning - indeed, all but planning - a life, and a marriage and children with Chaol, to hatred, where she almost kills him, and would have if Dorian had not stopped her! Way to cheapen your romance, Maas!

Just how stupid and shallow a 'romance' can you create? Well read Maas to find out (trust me, the situation between Chaol and Celaena gets worse)! Stupid is actually what Celaena does best, because even the 'romance' isn't as stupid as the dumb-ass poem giving clues to where three 'Wyrd' stones are hidden. These are supposedly pieces of a gate between worlds, which can open the portal and which grant unimaginable power to their possessor, even if only one stone is owned.

First of all, if these things were purposefully hidden because they were too dangerous to own and impossible to destroy, then why would would they not have been tossed into the depths of the ocean? And failing that, why would anyone hide them successfully, and then write graffiti on a castle wall revealing where they are? And if Celaena's supposed best friend figured it out, why wouldn't she tell her best friend - the very person she needs to help her - what she had learned? I don't mind mystery and a scavenger hunt - they can be a lot of fun - but when these things are obscure and for no good reason other than authorly obfuscation, or when really bad writing and poor plotting is used ham-fistedly to obstruct things which anyone of even moderate intelligence would figure out at once, it's nothing but sad and tedious, and very amateur. Again, where was the editor? Swanning around eating cookies and chocolate cake maybe?

The means to read the poem is telegraphed many chapters before the clueless Celaena figures it out. It's obvious that one of the stones is in the dead queen's crown (presumably the eponymous Crown of Midnight), but Celaena simply cannot figure any of it out. I guess assassins really don't have to be smart in this world!

The final insult - like we haven't guessed this chapters and chapters beforehand, is that Celaena is a "Fae" princess, poised to take over her country and take down the king: you know the one she could assassinate at any time? She's known this all along, but it has never once crossed her mind, even when she was informed that people were looking for her! It's like Maas suddenly decided to officially turn her into the spoiled Disney princess that she's actually always been, but then was too lazy to go in and back-fill this story to integrate it into what she'd already written.

This is without a shadow of a doubt the crown of bad writing, period.


Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Ink Exchange by Melissa Marr


Title: Ink Exchange
Author: Melissa Marr
Publisher: Recorded books
Rating: WARTY!

Read by Nick Landrum on Recorded books, and I was not impressed by his voice. He just seemed wrong for this story.

This novel is a literal fairy tale, and I've had mixed experiences with these. The more they cling to trope - for example in using obscure Gaelic names and larding them up with Celtic or pseudo-Celtic folklore - the more I tend to dislike them. This one is the second in a series (which wasn't clear to me when I picked it up on close-out at a bookstore), but it's not a simple sequel to the first! It's implied that it can be read as a stand-alone, but it really can't because it's so dependent upon what went before that it's not really independent. The fact is that it really is a sequel: even though it focuses on other characters, there is still a host of hold-overs from the first volume popping-up here.

One of these is Aislinn, but her name is pronounced Ashlynn, except that Landrum reads it as Ashling (at least that's how it sounds to me when he says it). If this novel was set in Ireland, or if it were set a thousand years ago, I could see that working, but what are the odds of your common-or-garden American family not only naming their child Ashlynn, but also both spelling and pronouncing it the Gaelic way? Yes, it could happen, but is it likely? No. That struck a really false note for me.

As if this isn't enough annoyance, there's an all-but-literal parade of characters who pop up, one after another, quickly disappear, and then pop up again later after you've forgotten them. It's as irritating as it is confusing trying to try to remember who is whom. Maybe if you've read the previous volume it would be easier. In addition to that, we have a character called Gabriel, but Gabriel isn't his name, it's his title! And we have hounds, who are not actually hounds - they're faeries. Or is it fae? Because people who write these novels are typically (and hilariously) far too embarrassed by their chosen genre to actually call them what they are: fairies. They somehow think we'll take this more seriously if we adopt the rather biblical directive to take an 'e' for an 'i'.

That said, this novel started out not too badly. It was only after we were properly introduced to the main character, Lesley, that it started to go downhill. Lesley lives in god-awful circumstances. Her mother left the home and never came back. Her father is an alcoholic, and her brother a drug addict who once drugged Lesley and offered her body to his friends in payment for something or other. Yes, she was raped, but she seems to be 'all better' now. I say it like that, because this horrible event seems to have had little impact upon her, despite her repeatedly referencing it.

Now I'm no female, although I play one on TV (I'm kidding!), and fortunately for me, I've never been raped, so I honestly cannot (nor would I want to) pretend to know how this might feel; however, I have had times when I've been scared and made to feel badly uncomfortable, so I do have an indirect insight into this sort of emotion. Everyone is going to react differently to an experience like this, and one person will take a longer or shorter time to get to grips with it in whatever way works for them than will another.

If Lesley truly is as 'over it' (as she's portrayed here), then more power to her, but for me, her free-and-easy approach to everything, and in particular to being around strange guys just struck me as being a little bit too free-and-easy to lend her back-story much verisimilitude. It seemed unrealistic to me, and that's all I'm going to say on this topic. Hopefully others (who know more about what they're talking about here than I do!) will weigh in on this and give us a better and more rounded picture.

The thing which really seemed absurd to me about her, is her obsession with getting a tattoo, as though it would magically change her life. Yes, in this context, it does quite literally and magically change her life, but she can't have known that a priori. She wants to get away from her home and take charge of her life, which is great, but she already has a plan: to go to college, and in the near future, too. That's smart and commendable, but given that, my problem is: why then does she still feel that she needs something more? And if she does, why is it that she feels a tattoo will fix everything?

What bothered me is that we're offered no justification for this attitude. It's like she has the mentality of a thirteen-year-old or something, not a woman on the cusp of adulthood which, given her experiences and her life so far, she's been long qualified for. This just struck a false note: what, the author couldn't think of a better way to get her tattooed? This is of course, a must if the story is going anywhere, but this clunky set-up was bad and made me lose respect for the main character, which is never a good game for an author to bring to a story.

But even if I accept all of this and find nothing to criticize in it, I'm still not over the worst problem with this novel which is that it is absolutely and unquestionably boring. We get page after page - chapter after chapter - of nothing happening. Hum-drum, meaningless, boring conversation going nowhere. Non-events. Fairy meetings and plans which never go anywhere. "Bad fairy" Iriel - or whatever spelling - (who should have been named 'Irritate') ridiculously salivating over his human. It's tedious in the extreme. There is no story here.

I don't get this supernatural obsession with humans which is the hallmark of every story of this nature, and it doesn't matter if the story is about werewolves, or demons, or vampires, or fairies: every last one of 'em is obsessed with jumping humans' bones. Why is that? I don't frequent these genres, but in the ones I've read, I've ever encountered one that I recall which justifies this obsession in any way. It's just accepted. Yet these are, for example with vampires, the sleekest, sexiest, fastest, strongest, most beautiful beings there are, and they obsess over taking a human to bed (or just taking them, period)? It makes no sense. That would be like us obsessing over jumping some chimpanzee's bones. Yeah, maybe there are some people like that, but it's sure not the norm, much less an obsession. It's the same with angels. I mean what could be more angelic than an angel, and yet these creatures obsess over flawed, homely humans? It makes zero sense.

Marr does offer some justification, but it's for the wrong thing. These fairies feed on humans in some ethereal way, but this still fails to account for a fairy falling in love with one of us. I mean you can love your pet, but unless you're seriously depraved, you don't actually want to marry it and have sex. The story I would like to read is the one which accounts for these things and makes that account believable. Instead what we get are tired and tedious trope tales from YA writers about supernaturally beautiful and powerful men making young girls do their bidding.

I honestly have to ask why they're lining up to write these sick stories. More than this, though, I'd like to know what's going through the mind of a girl who buys these stories. Does she really want to be overpowered by a man who will compel her to do his will? I seriously hope not. So more than what it tells us about the authors, what does it say about the state of mind of the readership? And in the light of Lesley's experience in this novel, what message does this carry to boys - who for the most part, don't avidly read this kind of novel, but who can't be blind to the fact that girls swallow them voraciously. Are these boys getting a message that if they look appealing enough and say the right words, they can overpower a girl and bend her to their will? Shame on such authorship.

This novel is trash, period.


Monday, May 19, 2014

Independent Study by Joelle Charbonneau


Title: Independent Study
Author: Joelle Charbonneau
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Rating: WARTY!

So after reviewing seven Net Galley novels in a row, it's time to move on to some other stuff!

This is the sequel to The Testing, The Hunger Games rip-off trilogy. Malencia Vale tells this in first person present PoV unfortunately. I guess the majority of YA writers these days simply have no idea how to write dystopian fiction in the third person. I wonder why that is? There's nothing more irking than a novel which is all me me me! Look how important I am! The world would end with out ME! Read all about me! It's the All Me, All The Time Channel!!!

That aside, who would name their heroic character with a prefix that's the French word for bad? I can see a Valencia evoking oranges: positive, bright, sweet, tangy, full of goodness, but to name her with a negative prefix just boggles the mind.

The book cover says, "Failure is not an option"! Seriously? Which genius at HMH came up with that breath-takingly original stroke of eloquence? The cover also says, "Your time is almost up", but I'll bet dollars to dung that the time won't even be close to "up" before the third volume gets published! I know writers don't have squat to do with their covers unless they self-publish but honestly?

I read the first of this sad series as a galley and it was derivative and uninventive, but not completely and nauseatingly awful. What persuaded me to give the sequel a chance was that at the end of the first volume, each candidate's memory was wiped, meaning that volume two would be a bit of a do-over. I was intrigued by this, notwithstanding the risk and stupidity in wiping the mind of someone who has proven her- or him-self to be the best of the best. I decided to give the sequel a shot. I was not impressed, but at least Charbnonneau knows to use the phrase "set foot" in place of "step foot"! Now if only she could grasp that it's "biceps" and not "bicep", my opinion of her writing might improve moderately!

The weak thing about his novel (other than its main character) is that it's all black and white. Either you succeed admirably or you're eliminated with extreme prejudice. I can't see any society getting anywhere with a policy like that. I cannot even see a society ending-up like that, not even after a disastrous world war and (un)natural catastrophes, although that kind of 'final judgment' is a very religious approach to life, and the USA is one of the most dangerously fundamentalist nations on the planet. Where is the logic in a society which purposefully kills its most promising offspring? It makes no sense at all, especially not with the population all-but annihilated to begin with.

So Mal-encia Vale is yet another of these YA female main characters who is offered to us as a hero by an author who then quietly undermines her character at every turn. She's female and in the minority at the university (no explanation is offered for why men in general are evidently smarter than women in general in this world). We're apparently expected to believe that this equals "weak". She's short of stature, so we're also expected to believe that this equals "disadvantaged". In short (forgive the pun) she's just another Beatrice Prior, which is what's truly sad.

She certainly ain't no Katniss Everdeen because she's really Mary Sue Vale - she can do no wrong, and she's always on top, always the best, always winning. She has no flaws, which ironically makes her seriously flawed as a character. She's supposed to be the strong female, but she's portrayed as being almost completely dependent upon men - men like her boyfriend Tomas, her secret adviser Michal, and so on. Whenever she has a "brilliant idea" it's inevitably based on something she remembers her father or one of her brothers saying or doing, never her mother. She's supposed to be super-smart, and yet she does one dumb thing after another, and she has no original ideas. In short, she's truly pathetic.

This novel starts out with this 'hero' planning on running away, but ending-up taking the advice of a man, and staying. She did not reason this out for herself. There goes her smarts! It's sad to say the least. Some have praised this novel for making the lead female cerebral and using math and science, but there really isn't any part of the novel where she does that. In the first set of tests where they go on this childish scavenger-hunt complete with cheesy poem-clues, she contributes nothing. In fact, in one case, while the boys work out the solution, Mal-encia is trapped in a box!

As if that isn't bad enough, Mal-encia has consistently mal-icious thoughts about, or impressions of, all other females in this novel. There isn't another decent woman anywhere to be found who can match her for how wonderfully sweet and winning she is: all the other women are portrayed negatively. That's not only completely unrealistic, it's quite simply bizarre coming from a female author and is a give-away sign of bad writing technique: the fact that that she evidently feels she has to trash all other female characters in order to make her main character look good!

If you thought the testing had stopped after The Testing (how original a title is that?!), you were wrong. It never stops, which seemed to me to be completely ridiculous. After her selection exam, Mal-encia, who wants to be a mechanical engineer, is dumped into the government program instead - one of the five factions available. Failure to succeed in a faction means dismissal. Does that sound familiar to readers of the execrable Divergent series, where faction drop-outs become factionless and have to fend for themselves? This novel, believe it or not, even has a chasm at one point, with a railing, which looks down on a river far below!

There is a host of other oddities, too. The head professor of government studies, Verna Holt comes to get Mal-encia from her dorm room on her first day! This seemed absurd to me. Seriously - the senior professor comes to each dorm room to pick up the freshmen? Maybe it's symbolic of something, because everything in this novel has a symbol: the boy's dorm is marked with a coiled spring (what's that all about?!), the girl's dorm is marked with a key (ditto!). Mal-encia herself is represented with a lightning bolt. Yeay for her. What a pity she isn't anywhere near that bright.

Each of the five factions have their symbols, too, which appear on the book's cover, because you know that it's currently illegal in the USA to publish a dystopian trilogy with a female first person main character without having some sort of circular symbol on the cover, right? People have been redirected for far less! At one point, the author writes, "Weather and animals have eaten away pieces of the dark gray walls" Really? Animals have eaten the walls? I felt like climbing the walls after reading that bizarre assertion. Are the these buildings really just grass huts?!

That's not all. Michal Gallen from volume one, the guy who keeps Mal-encia from her cowardly, knees-bent running away behavior, informs her that he will no longer be close enough to her to continue helping her. He tells her that there will be someone else, yet he fails to tell her who this is! This was about where I would have tossed the book into the paper shredder had it not been a library book. This is so moronic that it's almost unbelievable that a writer could be this bad, and that her editor could be this blind to how poor this writing is. I mean this wasn't even a plot device, it was cheap amateur theatrics and there was no reason whatsoever for it other than to struggle to artificially ramp-up some much-needed tension.

We're given some pretty ham-fisted reasons to believe that Mal-encia's new contact is Ian, a senior who is her new adviser in the government dorm (yes, just like in Divergent, the initiates have to give up their families and even their intake dorm room, and move into their new faction's 'compound'. I'm guessing that Ian is a big, fat, scaly, slippery red herring, and that the "dark-skinned girl" who seems peeved by Ian's dicking around with the intern assignments, is the one who is actually her contact, but I could be wrong.

Even after the assignment exam - the results of which determine the faction to which they will be assigned, the testing continues. They're shown to their rooms and told that they must not be late for lunch, and then the power goes out and they're expected to break out of their rooms to get downstairs for lunch. Absurd. The only thing that's notable about this is that Mal-encia fails to offer any assistance to those who are still locked in their dorm rooms. Some leader. Some hero.

The university is located in Tosu City (it may as well be named Tosser City), and the students who hail from there did not have to go through the appalling "Testing" in volume one, which the students from the 'provinces' did. This is pretty much a mirror image of the Hunger games where tributes from districts one and two were privileged by being trained from birth to fight in the games and so had the advantage, but it makes no sense here: in another piece of bad writing, no reason is given as to why the Tosu City students get a bye.

That the asinine testing continues even after the students have been through their qualifying exam and assigned to their appropriate faction is not only indicative of a lack of ideas from the author, it's open proof that this system (within this world) is flawed, yet no one remarks upon this at all. They all blindly accept it, including mega-brain Mal-encia.

Charbonneau evidently knows squat about biology. At one point, during a field test, she has a small party (led, of course, by Mal-encia) enter what used to be a zoo. There's a large snake (12 feet long) still living there, and she tries to distract it by throwing a lump of wood: the snake snaps its head around. This is after she mentions that some snakes are deaf. Technically they aren't: they hear through their jaw bones (actually in the same way we do, except that over the course of evolution, the reptile jaw mutated into our inner ear bones. So if the wood had hit the floor and the snake's head was on the floor, it would have detected it. But the snake's head is suspended in the air - it wouldn't hear a thing.

Charbonneau not only has a poor grasp of evolution, she also doesn't quite get the idea of survival. At one point, we're expected to believe that water which is "murky brown" is contaminated but probably drinkable??? She doesn't know physics, either, evidently. A stone thrown horizontally will hit the ground at the same time as one dropped straight down if both are released from the same height and at the starting same time and starting point. So in solving one of these scavenger-hunt clues, the horizontal velocity is irrelevant for the first part of the question.

The biggest problem, however, is that this entire challenge is bullshit. The clues are childish and the rules clear - although leader Mal-encia herself tries a bluff at one point, threatening to leave her team behind and they fall for it, yet it was already explained that the team ideally needs to finish together. And these are supposed to be smart people?

The illogicalities continued to mount disturbingly as this story dragged on. Mal-encia is given nine classes (50% more than anyone else), yet she believes that she's been set up for failure. When she completes the induction test in record time by defying the book cover blurb (failure is not an option), and realizing that failure is the only option for the final test, she believes professors Holt and Barnes hate her and want her to fail because she's too smart! Never has a book blurb and a book's content been so diametrically opposed! Big Publishing™, epic fail!

Finally, on page 200 or so, Mal-encia actually starts her classes! The classes make no sense to me given the state the world is in and the tragic state of the environment in her own country. We're told that she's studying: global history, advanced calculus, world languages, and United Commonwealth history and law. That last one makes some sense given the profession which has been forced upon her, but given what else has been going down over the last century, I see no point in any of the others. History is irrelevant; what they have to deal with is what's right in front of them - a polluted planet, a devastated nation, where food and shelter are paramount, and reclaiming the environment from the pollution and irradiation is all important.

I can see how these classes might be of some value if the world were normal - similar to the way ours is today, but in their world? No! History? Of what benefit could that be to what she's been assigned to do? Her school is government. Almost none of this is relevant to what she needs to know. Why, for example, is she doing calculus? How will that benefit her, much less be used in government? World languages? This story is so inextricably lodged in the USA that she will never need that! None of this makes any sense! It's like Charbonneau doesn't have sufficient imagination to invent the likely classes that would be necessary to governing a wrecked nation, and instead simply copied some existing contemporary university's curriculum! The next day's classes make even less sense. Electrical and Magnetic Physics? The Rise and fall of Technology? Art, music, literature, bioengineering? Why?

Maybe the overwhelming irrelevancy of everything is why Mal-encia always holding hands like a little kid. This is hardly the hallmark of a born leader! She's so overwhelmed that she frequently regresses to her childhood, and whenever Mary Sue Mal-encia thinks back to her good ol' down-home country upbringing for guidance on what to do next, it's always a male figure to whom she thinks back. Mom doesn't get a look in; only her dad and her brothers are good enough to provide her with useful memories. Way to insult your gender, Charbonneau!

Mal-encia at one point decides she needs to break into the airport - which is supposedly off-limits due to contamination - to find out who is living there. She wonders if it's the "redirected" people or if they're dead. It never once occurs to her that the simplest way to expose Barnes for what he's doing - if indeed he's doing anything (I was never convinced that he was) is to simply ask him for an accounting of all those who failed the testing or were redirected from the university. If they're dead, he will not be able to come-up with convincing evidence of their whereabouts, and he will be done for. If they're not, she can quit obsessing over this, and get on with her life.

Mal-encia is issued a bike! She revels in this and is grateful for the exercise to strengthen her limbs. Then she returns to the government hall and has an apple and some crackers for lunch - that's all! For dinner, she takes some bread and cheese with a bit of fruit. She's a moron. All this bullshit about "strong body, strong mind", and she's eating like an anorexic?

She obsesses over wasted paper, but this is an advanced hi-tech society, Why is an expensive and scarce resource like paper even used at all? Do they have no laptops, no pads? It makes no sense. Clearly Charbonneau did not put anywhere near enough thought into her world-building. Actually it reads more like she put none into it.

One of Mal-encia's projects for President Colander (yes, this whole thing is full of holes) is to help out with the proposed rail link to some of the colonies, but one of the problems with the rail link is the endless large chasms where earthquakes have supposedly rent the Earth asunder! Nowhere does Charbonneau, not in two novels, ever explain exactly how this happened. Why? She doesn't explain because she clearly cannot. It's just this way because it serves her so-called 'plot' for it to be so, and the hell with common sense with science, with logic, or with it fitting into her framework.

I skimmed the last portion of this novel because it was too bad and boring to be worth any more time than that. Charbonneau ought to be paying people to read this crap, not charging us for it. This novel, and this entire series, is WARTY!


Sunday, May 18, 2014

Outshine by Nola Decker


Title: Outshine
Author: Nola Decker
Publisher: 7 Sparks Press (no website found)
Rating: worthy!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review.

erratum: p50 "Last night she stayed wake watching..." "stayed awake" maybe?

Oh, what do we do about a novel which gets 85% of it right, but in the last fifteen percent, really goes seriously down hill? I was all ready to rate this as a worthy read. I'd even put up the first draft of this review and had it set-up that way, but I hadn't finished the novel! Let this be a lesson to all we who review! Now I have to seriously think about how much this last fifteen percent undermines every good thought I'd had in reading the first 85%!

This novel began very strongly. It felt to me like the one which makes it worth wading through a dozen other average or even crappy novels in order to reach such a novel. I don't know where Nola Decker came from; I'd never heard of her, but she is without doubt a writer to watch. No, strike that! The heck with watching: Nola Decker is a writer to read! This story really grabbed my imagination from page one, and it refused to let go. I love stories like this! At least I did for some four-fifths of it!

Unfortunately, that's not to say it was perfect, but which novels are? There are some flaws in it, but that there are flaws is not the issue. The issue is whether the story is a good and engaging one 9in general it was), whether it's original (it is), whether it has something to say (it does, particularly if you want to know how to really write a YA 'romance'. No writer is perfect, and this novel comes close to delivering perfection from its originality to its well-drawn characters. Is that enough to rate it a worthy read?

Gabe and Jessa have known each other since childhood, but they're not friends. In fact, Gabe isn't friends with anyone, and especially not his spoiled-rotten kid brother Watson, because it's too painful. Gabe's problem is that he knows, just knows when you're lying. It makes him so ill that he refers to it as his 'allergy'.

He can't stand to be around people, since people tend to lie to a greater or lesser degree all the time, and even 'harmless' white lies aren't harmless to Gabe. He has it so bad that he can't even lie to himself, and sometimes he can't keep his mouth shut when he feels a lie - feels it like rusty stakes in his mouth or needles under his skin - being told by someone else, and this has caused disruption and embarrassment on more than one occasion.

Jessa is one of the hot girls in school: immaculately dressed in designer clothes and heels, perfectly manicured and made-up, but she's a complete lie. Inside, Jessa is the tomboy of all tomboys, and turbo-charged at that. One day, skipping class to go for a nail-job down-town, she was cutting through an alley when four guys who evidently knew about her 'power', showed up to abduct her. She almost literally kicked the crap out of them. It felt good to her, too, after hiding her skills for so long under a "girlie" exterior. Now she's looking forward to finally getting a date with Watson (even without her nails having been done!), but Watts has suddenly, with neither warning nor explanation, disappeared.

Jessa sees a connection between the disappearance and her own experience, and she realizes that, unfortunately, she needs Gabe's help to find out what's going on with Watts going off. She thinks he was abducted by the same guys who made the mistake of trying to tackle her, and the more the two of them look into it, the more it looks like she was right.

Here's an observation which has nothing to do with the actual writing itself; it's more to do with the mechanics of presenting what's written via various media. I started reading this on Adobe Reader, where it looked fine, and then I tried it on my antique Kindle (since Adobe Reader isn't portable - not for me anyway!), where it also looked fine for the most part until I reached the end of chapter 11; that's when my Kindle went bankrupt!

The Kindle is rather small, and doesn't make for a great reading experience (I'm very much a print book guy. Sorry, trees!). In order to make it more like reading a book, I keep the text sized quite small and read it in landscape mode. When I reached the end of chapter 11, I swiped to the last screen and the text size was suddenly in a font three times larger than the text on the previous screen or on the next screen! Weird!

This same thing happened in chapter 23, where the whole last paragraph was three times larger on that last screen of the chapter! I have no idea why it did this, or whether or not it's tied to how this novel was formatted, or to some kink in the Kindle, but while it is odd and a bit annoying, it's nothing to do with the story-telling itself, so it's not an issue there. I'm just passing it on FYI.

I don't want to give away any big spoilers since this is a brand-new novel, but in order to review this and describe some problems I had with the plotting, I have to reveals a few details. There were two parts of this novel where credibility really went right out the window. The first was relatively minor, but there were issues in the last fifteen percent that were major. It turns out that Gabe and Jessa are not the way they are by pure chance - there's a lot more going on here, and to her credit, the author skilfully un-peels this story like an onion. Despite that, some of the upcoming plot points are telegraphed rather loudly, so that even I figured it out beforehand. Other parts are much more subtle.

Anyway, in process of unfolding this tale, there's a point at which someone supposedly calls the police, and this someone later turns out to be working for the bad guys, yet both main characters continue to trust that this traitor actually called the police! This issue becomes even worse later, because it's referenced by one of the police officers. This made even less sense to me, unless this university town quite literally has only two police officers. The problem with this whole thing is that it suggests that the two main characters don't have a whole heck of a lot going on behind their forehead, which isn't the best way to depict them! So I was disappointed there.

Aside from a weakness here and there, and the plot holes I mentioned, the story was solid and well-written - very well written. I was impressed, for example, by the relationship between Gabe and Jessa. It was done better than about 70% of YA romances where it's all, "Hi, nice to meet you! Oh God I am so in love with you already!", which is shamefully pathetic and speaks really badly of far too many YA novelists.

Nola Decker isn't one of those people. She knows how to write believable characters, and how to issue them with credible behaviors and motivate them rationally based on their back-story. This novel, as fantastical as it is, is for the most part very credible within its own framework. Yes, occasionally the dialog (in particular, where the bad guys monologue about their world domination plans like evil super-villains!) is a bit eye-roll-inducing, but overall there isn't anything which outright condemns the novel, and there is so very much to recommend it.

Jessa in particular has become one of my favorite kick-ass female heroes. She's actually a bit reminiscent of Spider-Man in some ways, particularly the symbiont-infected one in Spider-Man 3, because she not only has incredible power, and essentially wants to do the right thing, she also has some serious issues to contend with in the form of her own genetic urge to hurt people, and also in the form of her impossible relationships with Gabe and Watts. I felt so bad for her.

There was a weakness which is common to all YA novels in that the authors for some reason will have their characters display all manner of questionable behaviors, but they will never have them kill anyone! This particular flaw occurs several times in this novel, where Gabe and Jessa have the leader of the bad guys (or some of his minions at one point) at their mercy, and yet they let them live, and worse, in effect let them go free, meaning that these people are now free to do as they please,including continuing causing trouble, and even killing other young people!

That was insane in my opinion. Of course, if she'd done that, this would never have been able to run to a series, now would it? Since this blog is primarily about writing, here's a question for writers to consider: how much are you willing betray the quality of your writing for the sake of stretching a one-volume story into a trilogy? The answer should be: "Not at all". Jessa has two golden chances to kill the leader of the bad guys and she fails both times. hence volume two.

What bothered me about this is that we're not talking here about wanton killing or gratuitous violence. We're talking about stopping the bad guys, something which Jessa harps on repeatedly, yet when she had the chance to quite literally stop him cold, she turned her back on it. These are guys who have repeatedly shown themselves to be merciless killers, and to be controllers and manipulators. They plan on continuing abducting or executing other teens dependent upon their value to 'the cause', yet when Gabe says "No, don't kill him!" Jessa loses all her independence and self-motivation, and falls completely into line. This does nothing but cause them ever more grief down the line. For me this was a betrayal of Jessa as a character. Neither did it make any sense in context.

I wouldn't advocate novels where the 'good guys' are shown mercilessly killing others for no good or valid reason, but I honestly cannot get on board with this pussy-footing around dispatching bad guys who are downright evil, and who are clearly never going to change their minds, and never reform their behaviors.

I can see why not having your main characters kill someone in a young teens novel might make sense, but this novel is clearly for older teens and young adults, and this limp attitude which Gabe and Jessa repeatedly exhibit towards some very dangerous and downright evil people seriously undermined the import of the story and the integrity of the two main characters for me. We have PG-13 movies where death is depicted without sentimentality, so what's up with novels aimed at an age-range which is more mature than that?!

Here's another plot hole, as long as we're on that topic: there's a point where Jessa and Gabe have escaped the bad guys (and failed to kill them!) and they're driving back and forth on this one stretch of road because they can't agree on whether they should get back to their home town asap, or go and recover Jessa's car. In the end they decide to recover the car. The sole reason for finally choosing this action is because there's medication in the car which they can use to keep their prisoner under control, so this they do - but then they fail to administer the med and the prisoner busts loose!

This was a real clunker for me. I can see how people, young adults or otherwise, might make bad decisions if they're tired, or strung-out, or scared, but when they make a U-turn for a specific purpose, and then neglect to fulfill that purpose, and we're given no explanation for it, and no good reason (other than that the plot demands it!), then it really drops me out of suspension of disbelief.

But this was very tame when we compare it with the biggest clunker. This is the one which occurred in the last fifteen percent of this novel and which made me seriously reconsider if I still wanted to rate this the way I'd been thinking I would. This is where Gabe gets into a fight with his brother. Normally Gabe is as placid as they come, and it's Watts who has the violence and meanness genes, but Gabe has been pushed and pushed and pushed, and there is so much on the line that when Watts starts beating him up, and really punishing him, Gabe fights back and gives as good as he gets.

There are no adults around: no one to stop the fight (which struck me as odd), but someone calls the police, and when they arrive, they take Watts, who is hardly injured, to the ambulance to treat his "wounds" and they immediately arrest Gabe. All of this is done without the officers asking anyone - anyone at all - what happened here! They just blindly arrest Gabe, the acknowledged weakling of the family, as though he's the brute and the bully and Watts is his innocent victim! That made my jaw drop to the floor because it is absolutely nonsensical, and it carries zero credibility. How did this ever get past the beta readers and the editor? Nola Decker should ask me to be a beta reader, because these plot holes would never have got past me without a red flag being raised! Gabe, a minor, is hauled off to jail without his mother being notified, and without his injuries being treated.

I have to note that the final 15% of this novel is really badly written. And I know exactly what's going to happen in the sequel: they who are dead aren't really dead, and they who were enemies are now friends again. Make of that what you will! My problem is how to rate this. I can't rate it 'warty' because so much of it is so very good. In the end, it's for that reason: for the fact that most of it is really good when compared with the lousy standards of all-too-many YA novels, that I'm going to rate this a worthy read, in the hope (and the faith!) that an author with Nola Decker's very evident chops will get it right in the sequel. So let's look forward to that.


Saturday, May 17, 2014

Honeybee's Adventures At Wilderness Pond by Cathryn Carman Davis


Title: Honeybee's Adventures At Wilderness Pond
Author: Cathryn Carman Davis
Publisher: Sweet Dreams Factory
Rating: Worthy!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review.

Honeybee is a worker bee (which are exclusively female) who evidently doesn't like work! She decides to blow this honey stand and instead makes a bee-line to a nearby pond where she has some slightly scary adventures, and all of this is related in verse.

It seems like most of the creatures she encounters are not very friendly. The King Frog considers eating her, as does Sly Dragonfly, Slick Lizard and Huge Spider, although the frog later becomes a friend. Evidently they're not afraid of her sting. Worker bees, because they're female, can sting - they use a modified ovipositor. The male bees (the drones) have no stinger. How humiliating is that to male chauvinism?!

Honeybee eventually realizes that running away from home is not only a bad idea, it's a betrayal of her friends and colleagues, so she hurries back to the hive - just in time to help defend her home from the Horrid Hornets.

This story offers a really good opportunity to talk with young children about responsibility and danger, and about family versus strangers. It's beautifully illustrated in full color by the author herself, and I recommend it.


Friday, May 16, 2014

The Bicycle Fence by Tom Noll


Title: The Bicycle Fence
Author: Tom Noll (no website found)
Publisher: Green Kids Press
Rating: Worthy!
Art: Brandon Fall


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review.

This is book one in the Trash to Treasure series for young children. It's an upbeat a charmer, and is very practical. Printed on recycled paper and illustrated beautifully in double-page images, this novel tells the somewhat autobiographical tale of LT (Little Tommy), who is growing and growing. Soon he needs a new bike, and his dad takes him to a junk yard so they can find the bits and pieces they need. They head home with a bunch of old, discarded bikes, and they cobble together a new one for Tommy. He even gets it painted so it doesn't look cobbled-together like his dad's old truck does - a major selling point with Tommy!

It's not long before the recycling bug grabs Tommy himself, and he has a few ideas of his own, especially with regard to recycling this collection of already recycled scrap bicycles! The book ends with a whole list of tips and tricks to help re-use and reduce, so its impact and its educational value is high.

If I had one quibble it would be over Tommy's dad's 'recycled' truck. It looks like a 1950 Chevy pickup truck and the mileage on those old trucks wasn't great: no more than 20mpg, and perhaps less (but gas was way cheap back then, so no one cared about wasting gas!). I have to say as cute as it looks, a new electric, or at least a flex-fuel, truck might be better for the environment; then again, maybe LT's dad has an engine hidden under that huge hood that runs on recycled cooking oil for all I know!

That observation aside, I recommend this book as a fun read and an educational tool to get kids on the road to recycling. No one individual is going to save the world with recycling, but that's not the point. This isn't about one person, it's about building a movement and growing the sentiment until intelligent environmental behaviors become the norm - and every little helps.


Thursday, May 15, 2014

Pretty Deadly by Kelly Sue Deconnick


Title: Pretty Deadly

Author: Kelly Sue Deconnick
Publisher: Magnetic Press
Rating: Worthy!
Art: Emma Rios
Colors: Jordie Bellaire
Edits: Sigrid Ellis
Letters: Clayton Coles (I did a search for Clayton's website on Google and it brought up this blog three times - at the top of Google's list! I guess this is his website! lol!

(see also Three for other work by Bellaire and Coles)


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review.

Here's a novel-ty: I'm rating this graphic novel as a worthy 'read', but not on the basis of what I read. Instead, this rating is based solely on the basis of what I saw! The artwork is remarkable, and it's worth 'reading' for that alone. The story, on the other hand, lost me completely. Maybe you will have a better time with it, but no matter how hard I tried to follow it, I could not figure out what story was being told here or what I was supposed to take away from it.

It's obviously about death, but it seems to be a meld of a western novel and a Greek tragedy, and it seems also to be that supposed no-no of the story telling world: it's all a dream, or at least it's all happening in some sort of a dream world. Or at least part of it is. Or something. See what I mean? It's confusing, and I felt bad about that. maybe I'm missing something, but I felt like it oughtn't to be that hard to enjoy a novel!

But this is a graphic novel, so I don't expect each panel to be filled with expository text, yet when we get multiple pages with little or no text (and then the occasional panel which is jammed with text!) and with small images that, beautiful as they are, don't offer much in the way of exposition, it makes reading a chore rather than a pleasure, and there's no excuse for that.

The idea of the story is what appealed to me: death has a 'daughter'? How cool is that? This vengeful 'daughter' is definitely not one to forgive trespasses, and she rides out wreaking havoc, and evidently needs to be reined in at some point. This whole story is encapsulated in a tale told to a butterfly by a dead rabbit. I have no idea what that's all about. And what's with the sword she carries? These pieces just didn't fit together for me, although now I think back on them, I do so with a warm smirk on my face!

The graphics are, in places, very violent and gory, just FYI. I know this is about death, and the setting is the purported 'wild" west, but that level of blood and guts seemed a bit much for this particular story; however, as I said, the artwork was spectacular overall and it merits support for that alone. It would be a tragedy if Emma Rios illustrated no more stories because one such as this failed. Not that disappointment in the writing will cause it to fail - thankfully!

Other than the artwork, one really interesting aspect of this graphic novel is that it's almost entirely female-centric with regard to the development team, and that's another reason it grabbed my attention. The comic-book world has thankfully never been devoid of women, but traditionally it's been dominated by men and it's liberating to see that antiquated 'norm' being so strongly challenged with this contribution.


Wednesday, May 14, 2014

A Time To Dance by Padma Venkatraman


Title: A Time To Dance
Author: Padma Venkatraman
Publisher: Penguin
Rating: worthy!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review.

Erratum:
p194 "souls progress" should be "soul's progress"

I used to know someone whose name (both names, actually!) sounded very much like Padma's last name, though I suppose such a name is relatively common in a nation of over a billion people (so I don't imagine they're related!). So what about what she wrote? Well, despite some sad tropes and clichés in this novel, I really did enjoy it; however, my undertaking with this blog is to give honest reviews that pull no punches even for novels that I recommend, so brace yourself! Amongst the good, lies some tough fiber!

You might think that this story - the shattered artist - has been done before (and it always seems to be about dancers, doesn't it?!). I don't doubt that it has, but the real question you need to ask here is: has it been done so refreshingly well, and was it so beautifully written? Discuss! In my opinion, it wasn't: this novel is the standard, not what may have gone before.

This novel is what Born Confused could have been but which failed to get there. Unlike that novel, this one is set in India, in Chennai (which you may know as Madras, home of the hotter-than-hell curry). Chennai is the home-base of the Tamil film industry, and a center of Bharatanatyam dance, so it's no surprise that this novel is about a young girl named Veda whose greatest passion in life is that very dance form (examples can be found on You Tube). Her whole focus, as we join the narrative, is on preparing for a dance competition, which she wins. Right at that moment, as she's flying so high, the vehicle in which she's riding home flies into a tree, and she awakens in a hospital to find part of her right leg is missing.

A Time To Dance is written like a poem, and it works. Sometimes it's a bit awkward because the line breaks come where I wasn't expecting them, but most of the time they come exactly where they ought to be. Okay, maybe they always come exactly where they ought to be, and I'm just clueless! Fine! I'll deal, but one place where it worked less than ideally for me was around page ninety-one, where there was a long conversation. That seemed quite artificial (that is, the line breaks, not the conversation).

Hey, the Bharatiya Janata Party just won a majority in the Indian general election, so maybe Bharat is in now! I have no idea what I'm talking about, do I?!

On the other hand, there was a (shorter) conversation later which scanned much better, so maybe it was having so many single lines on a page which looked so odd. Other than that, I was pleasantly surprised at how well it did work. Venkatraman is evidently a very talented writer and knows her poetry even when it's disguised as prose (or vice-versa). Some of the lines read like haiku.

Veda (no word yet on whether the prefix is Darth...) meets an American doctor who insists that she call him Jim. He's working to provide Indians with limb prostheses, and he takes a cast of her leg and tells her that he will have her dancing again. Veda all but falls in love with him which struck me as a bit too much, especially since he has to be considerably older than Veda is. We're not actually told how old Veda is, but this novel is for ages 12 and up, and Jim is around 30.

Yes, I know there are May-December relationships and there's nothing wrong with them, but one does not find such relationships in YA novels; then again, one does not find very many Indian-authored YA novels widely available in the USA. Maybe there's a less blinkered ethos in India when it comes to relationships?

Veda notes that while, during her time in the hospital, her rival Kamini came to see her and even brought flowers, her teacher Uday failed to show up, and when she goes to see him wearing her temporary prosthesis, and demonstrates that she can still do the moves, he reminds her that there's one important Bharatanatyam dance move which she has failed to make, and when she attempts it, she can't do it. He then makes his move: turning his back upon her.

Angry, Veda seeks a new teacher, Dhanam, who takes her on, but she must start in the beginner's class until she finds her feet (so to speak). That class is taught by Govinda, so now she has the hots for two males in her life, both of whom are older than herself. I have to confess at this point that I would have liked Veda better had she been a little more mature - not older, necessarily, but more mature.

It felt wrong to me that she so easily fell for two guys in a row when she was supposedly so devoted to dancing. That's not to say, of course, that a girl can't multi-task(!), but it betrayed the devotion and focus which she'd had in the early part of the novel. To me it felt like she had not only lost part of a limb, but also lost her drive, which would be a far more devastating loss in my opinion. Deva stating - get it? See, Padma V., I can pun, too!

Talking of trope, Govinda has gold flecks in his eyes. Is it not in any way, shape, or form, possible to have a main YA male character who doesn't have gold flecks in his freaking eyes? Is it illegal to have non-gold-flecked eyes in a male love interest YA fiction?! I'm so tired of reading that! Are there no YA writers who can come up with something original in this regard? Where are the editors to tut-tut when their writers put something like this on the page?! OK, pet peeve off, moving on....

One thing which struck me as odd was the cruel puns made by a set of twins at Veda's school, who kept joking about her amputation. The problem is not that they were being cruel: people can be cruel in real life, whether intentionally or not, and it would be foolish to chide a novelist for portraying realistic characters even if you don't like the character. No, it was the puns which made me think, "Really?". Plus, a lot of these puns were tied to the game of cricket, which will be well-received in British ears, but which will fall flat for a US audience.

Puns were made on words like 'limp' and on cricket terms such as 'stump' and 'match' (Veda played cricket before her injury), but this is purportedly taking place in a part of India where they're presumably speaking Tamil. )That's just a guess! The language isn't specified.) I couldn't help but wonder if the puns would work in a different language. Since cricket was 'exported' to India by the Brits, perhaps the words for 'match' and 'stump' are actually the same, but is the word for 'stump', in reference to the remainder of an amputated limb the same in Tamil or Hindi? I doubt it.

Is the word for 'match', meaning a fortuitous pairing of two people the same as 'match' meaning a game, in these languages? Maybe we're supposed to overlook things like this, but I can't completely ignore it! It jumps out at me, even as I'm frankly quite amused by the puns. Padma Venkatraman would probably be an entertaining conversationalist. Fortunately, this language-specific punning isn't a killer with regard to my rating this novel! Not for me, it isn't at any, er, rate....

I have to say that Veda's friend Chandra's comparison of Karma with Newton's third law of motion doesn't work! In Newton's law, actions have equal but opposite reactions (strictly speaking, an object upon which a force is exerted will present a force equal in magnitude and opposite in direction to the force acting upon it), whereas in karma, actions are supposed to have similar reactions, not opposite ones, aren't they?!

But enough quibbling! This is, despite my griping above, a really good and entertaining novel, and it was a pleasure to read it. I recommend it without reservation.


Tuesday, May 13, 2014

It's NOT Just a Dog! by Pam Torres


Title: It's NOT Just a Dog!
Author: Pam Torres
Publisher: Legacy Media Press
Rating: worthy!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review.

Tomorrow! Russ Ryan, author of It's Just a Dog goes paw to paw with with Pam Torres, author of It's NOT Just a Dog!

The first thing I noticed about this novel is how poorly formatted it is for the Kindle; indeed, it's not formatted at all, at least for my rather antiquated model. There are words which run together (which any spell-checker ought to catch), and lines which are broken half-way along. Periodically the author's name appeared, presumably snitched from the page header, but in the Kindle, it was randomly appearing in the text at various places on the screen. Hopefully those issues will not be a problem in the final version of this novel.

For some reason, perhaps to try and connect with the youth generation, the author decided to post hash-tagged comments randomly in the text, as a short-hand indicating the narrator's state of mind, but these were a fail for me, especially in the Kindle where they ran into the rest of the text. They seemed out of place, and much more like a gimmick than an integral part of the story.

Maybe others will like them, but I have to wonder how many people of this age (11) are actually involved in Twitter. I don't use it myself. Twitter is for twits! I liked the take on it in the Doctor Who Episode The Bells of Saint John where the Doctor says, "This whole world is swimming in wi-fi; we're living in a wi-fi soup. Suppose something got inside it? Suppose there was something living in the wi-fi, harvesting human minds; extracting! Imagine that: human souls trapped like flies in the World Wide Web, stuck forever, crying out for help!" whereupon his companion, Clara responds immediately: "Isn't that basically Twitter?". I laughed my patootie off at that one.

But I digress. As usual. You know, if I were to tally-up the number of times I digressed...but I digress again! So, having said all that, and with some reservations about eleven-year-olds becoming involved in directly investigating dangerous men who are training dogs to fight, I actually enjoyed the story rather a lot, and thought that it was a perfectly fine and interesting yarn. There was lots going on, interesting and gripping situations arising, and there was a significant educational content.

The basic story is that of Madison, and 11 year old who lives with her dad and her pet dog Lilly, and who, with her friend Cooper (what's with all this last name as first name stuff?!) is trying to set up their dog-walking "business". Madison works as a volunteer at a pet shelter run by a family friend, which is evidently falling on hard times. In place of a regular birthday party, which Madison really didn't want, she holds a fund-raiser for the shelter, but the collection box (and all the money in it) is stolen. I don't recall reading where that was ever resolved, which is odd. Maybe I missed it.

As the story progresses, we learn more and more more a local dog-fighting ring, where brutal men train-up brutal dogs to fight each other and the men wager a lot of money on outcomes. Madison gets more involved in investigating this than I felt comfortable with, but at least when she gets out of the scrape she was in, she has the smarts to put this into the hands of the law, where it belongs, so while I had a few uncomfortable moments reading this, her heart was in the right place, and she made some smart decisions, which is commendable.

Indeed, there were portions of this novel where Madison seemed a lot older than 11, but the issue isn't whether it's believable and realistic to me, so much as whether it's something an eleven-year-old can read, enjoy, and learn from, and I think I would have loved this novel at that age. Not only does it offer a fun and thrilling adventure with some unnervingly dangerous situations, it also educates about pet issues: dogs are not to be taken lightly, and are living, feeling beings who need love and care, so I'd give it five stars for that.

In short, I recommend this novel for appropriate age levels (chronological or developmental!)


Monday, May 12, 2014

The Indie Author's Guide to Book Editing by Sarah Kolb-Williams


Title: The Indie Author's Guide to Book Editing
Author: Sarah Kolb-Williams
Publisher: Ascraeus Press
Rating: WORTHY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review.

I pretty much exclusively review fiction on this blog, but this is one which isn't fiction and which certainly needs no discussion of the writing quality. Written by a professional book editor, this is short, solid, and to the point. It's a tour-de-force of the ins and outs of editing in all its varied hues, and it's an engaging work from which I learned a lot.

To me, editing was this vague and nebulous thing tied to getting a book out the door. I know a lot more about it now; it's the difference between looking at fog, and looking at the same scene when the sun has burned it off and you can see clear across the bay. The fog is intriguing, even fascinating, but the view's the thing. Not that this makes me an expert editor of course, but at least I have a better handle on where to look for my flaws, on what kind of flaws they are, and on how to find someone who can help me fix them.

The importance of editing is easy to overlook. You can be on the one extreme and do it all yourself (or think you have done!) or on the other, where it's all effectively taken out of your hands, and taken over by some Big Publishing™ types. But most people are not at the extremes. They have something they've labored over, and and are looking to get some professional insights into it. This is where this book shines, and shines a strong light into some dusty and dark corners.

This will take you through the process of getting your book from first draft to submission-ready, explaining as it goes what each editorial function is for and more importantly, whether or not you might need it. It pulls no punches and hides nothing under the carpet, including what it might cost you. It's full of references and notes, including some interesting URLs, including one which I already availed myself of (and yes, I know that's bad grammar!).

If I had a complaint about this book, it's been edited out of this review. Just kidding! Seriously, if I had a complaint it's really more about my aging Kindle than about his book, but some of the text (such as an occasional side-bar or a brief start-of-chapter summary) was presented in a font which was much lighter than the main text, and it was difficult to read this on a gray-scale Kindle. Presumably this will not be a problem in a print version, or on a more modern reading medium.

That aside, I loved this book and I have no hesitation at all in recommending it to anyone who would like to get on the inside track for figuring out how to get their book polished to a high and very sale-able sheen. The only question I had left after reading this was: if you write a book on editing, how do you ever pluck up the courage to ask an editor to take a look at it? Sarah Kolb-Williams must have immense confidence and nerves of steel!


Sunday, May 11, 2014

The Plain Janes by Cecil Castellucci


Title: The Plain Janes
Author: Cecil Castellucci
Publisher: Minx
Rating: Worthy!
Illustrator: Jim Rugg
Lettering: Jared K Fletcher

The Plain Janes is not what I expected, but pleasantly so. Cecil Castellucci has created a charming story about Jane, a girl who survives what might be 9/11, but might be "just another" terrorist bombing in Metro City, and is urgently transported outside the city by her parents, who think it's safer in suburbia. I had thought that "Cecil" was a guy since you don't normally encounter that name for girls, but she's very much a girl, and I suspect that there's some autobiographical content in this novel.

Note that although the cover is in color, the novel is line drawings and gray-scale. The artwork is oddly appealing despite its initial appearance of simplicity and the rudimentary aura it gives off to begin with.

Jane is heartbroken to leave her friends and especially the John Doe patient who saved her life and now lies in a coma at the hospital. She visits him regularly and talks to him, but now she can visit no more: he's too far away. She did purloin his half-filled art sketch pad however, vowing to fill it on his behalf, which seems a bit presumptuous to me. Turning lemons into lemonade, Jane decides on a mini-make-over. She cuts her hair, dyeing it black so she can start her new school with a new perspective.

Shunning the popular girls at lunchtime, Jane sits at a table of apparent "loser" girls, who may or may not like her sitting with them, but who curiously are all named Jane. These girls are smart, talented in different fields, and poor socializers. Jane eventually gets them talking and lures them into joining her in an art project.

On am empty lot which has been set aside for a strip mall, the four girls build three quite large pyramids out of rubble one night, modeled on those a Gizeh in Egypt. They post a sign announcing that the pyramids have lasted for thousands of years, and asking how long the proposed strip mall will last. The sign is signed People Loving Art In Neighborhoods (P.L.A.I.N.), and so is born The Plain Janes.

As the PJs take on more anonymous projects, they garner for themselves a reputation, and start bonding and enjoying their lives for once. Their reputation is oddly a bad thing, seen by the school authorities as destructive and as vandalism, even though it is, er, PLAINly not. One big weakness of this novel is that Castellucci offers no reason at all as to why this should be. The PLAIN artist could be anyone or any group, yet it quickly comes down to an assumption that someone at school is doing this, and a psycho cop comes to the school and gives a lecture about this "vandalism" and vows to run down the perps. I thought that this was an unnecessary slur on the police.

There is a side story about a non-existent "romance" between Jane and a guy at school where neither side seems interested in becoming involved, and there's a weird, rather inexplicable ending, which took away from the story for me and made it rather weak in the finale, but overall this was a good story with very positive vibes and I recommend it.