Sugar and Ice by Aven Ellis / Faite Falling by Mary E Twomey / Considering Kate by Nora Roberts

Rating: WARTY!

Here's a trifecta for ya: In "Sugar and Ice" by Aven Ellis, "After a breakup, recipe tester Josephine decides to focus her attention on baking — until hockey player Cade comes to her rescue during an oven emergency. Can she have her cake and eat it too in this delicious rom-com?" Is there any fucking doubt? Or does the blurb writer think all readers are imbeciles? And do we need yet another maiden in distress being rescued from a fiery dragon by St George...er a hockey player? No. Just no!

AND

In "Faite Falling Series: Books 1–3" by Mary E Twomey, "When the charm that was concealing her identity falls away, Rosie is thrust into an unfamiliar world of magic. To escape the evil queen, she teams up with Bastien — but he has his own agenda." Of course he does. He wants in her pants. But they won't fit! LOL! How is this story really any different from the mystery story above? Answer: It isn't! They're the same fucking story. Yawn.

AND

In "Considering Kate" by Nora Roberts"Kate follows her dream of turning a dilapidated old building into her own business — only to forge a surprising connection with the contractor she hires, a single dad named Brody" That surprises no one but the book blurb writer. How is this any different from either of the two above? it isn't. Tedious, cookie-cutter clone horseshit. Yawn.

Captive Star by Nora Roberts

Rating: WARTY!

"Handcuffed together and on the run from hired killers, Jack Dakota and MJ O’Leary aren’t exactly getting along." I think this story is handcuffed to uninventive and unimaginative tedium. I refuse to read any story with a main character named Jack on principal - it's the most over-used go-to name ever. This book smacks of sheer boredom and a chronic lack of originality from the author. yawn.

Taming Natasha by Nora Roberts

Rating: WARTY!

"From the beloved #1 New York Times bestselling author called 'the most successful novelist on Planet Earth'" No. That would be Agatha Christie, dipshit. Nora Roberts barely makes it into the top 20. If they have to outright lie about this in the book description, then toss the book back into the clearance bin. And taming a woman? Do women have to be tamed now?

Chaos in Death by Nora Roberts aka JD Robb

Rating: WARTY!

I should have guessed from the absurd title that this audiobook wasn't for me, but I started listening to it anyway, so I have only myself to blame. Also it's by Nora Roberts. The JD Robb author name is a lie. I don't honestly know why authors lie about their authorship, but that's the way it is unfortunately. If I'd known this was part of a fifty book series all titles ending with "...in death" I would never have picked it up, but not only is the author lying, the publisher is too! There was nothing whatsoever on the cover of this book to indicate it was a part of a series. This one, absurdly, was volume 33.5!

The story is a bit bizarre. The reader, Susan Ericksen, is way too melodramatic, but I can't hold her completely at fault for that because the material is so poorly-written. The story starts with this guy - I assume it's a guy - who is putting the finishing touches to a triple murder he's committed and he's talking so ridiculously that I expect him to don a top hat and a cape when he was finished, and twirl his mustaches fiendishly.

Even when the cops show up the dialog is inane, and there's the trope of the one cop about ready to barf at the crime scene. I know that some people actually are very sensitive, but it's such a trope, especially in this day and age where blood and gore are in every other movie and cops are very often used to violence. We are largely inured to it now, and while I concede that movie gore and violence isn't like experiencing the real thing, this farcical trope of the barfing cop is long past its sell-by date, and it's just irritating to me. I quit it right there.

So this story and me? No way in hell!