Legends of Windemere: Beginning of a Hero by Renée Pawlish

Title: Legends of Windemere: Beginning of a Hero
Author: Renée Pawlish
Publisher: Barnes & Noble
Rating: WARTY!

DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

I don't get the title of this: "Beginning of a Hero"? Surely it's the making of a hero isn't it? How is a hero 'begun'?! Even "The Beginnings of a hero" would have sounded better, but to outright label your story heroic and legendary up front takes some gall. I'd rather decide for myself if it is either or none.

This book felt doomed to me from early on because it hit pretty much every cliché there is to hit in this kind of fantasy story, and my yearning for something a little off the beaten track was once again frustrated.

Luke Callindor is the male protag, and he's obsessed with heroism so much so that he's prepared to outright lie to get in on an adventure that might glorify him. I didn't like him at all.

He talks himself into a job protecting the heir of Duke Solomon, who is, we can immediately guess, a female - and as soon as we meet her we know at once that it's her even though Luke is clueless for some considerable time.

The problem as that this was set in what appeared to be medieval times (suitable to the trope fantasy), but it has a modern school - a school which the heir attended and now which Luke has to attend to try and figure out who the heir is that he needs to protect. I say 'modern' meaning literally that - it's organized just like a modern high school, with class schedules and a cafeteria, which was ludicrous to me.

There's a Lord Voldemort-like bad guy, and a Snape-like minion who can disguise himself and who is evidently dedicated to finding this heir, too. I couldn't stand the way this was written, the tropes, the clichés, and the amusingly dedicated cycling through half-a-dozen names for Luke, featuring names like: The Forest Tracker, The Young Warrior, and so on.

I got bored quickly, and I can't recommend this. If you do like it, there are at least four episodes in this series, so you'll not lack for reading material. This may not be environmentally sound, but I prefer something new to something recycled, so this is not for me.

Out of the Past by Renée Pawlish

Title: Out of the Past
Author: Renée Pawlish
Publisher: Barnes & Noble
Rating: WARTY!

DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

This novel sounded really interesting from the blurb, which only means that the blurb did its job - it lured me in. Unfortunately, this novel was not for me. I don't know what it was, but it made my skin crawl the minute I started reading it. It just felt completely wrong. I think part of it was that it tried way too hard to be what it patently was not: a hard-bitten noir-ish novel harking back to the classics of yesteryear. The problem with that was that it was set in contemporary times, so neither the attitude nor the lingo fit at all.

Instead of getting into it, I found myself stifling laughs at how ridiculous it truly was, with the caricature of Denver-based PI Reed Ferguson being beaten up in the bathroom by the even more caricatured brace of "goons" (yes, that word was actually spoken) named Tyrone and Oscar, when all they'd been sent to do was pick up the PI on behalf of some insanely rich dude. The PI's wise-cracks when he was punched were ludicrous. I have no idea what the author was trying to do, but none of it made any sense in the context in which it was presented, and the flashback to the eighties in the dance bar to which the PI was forcefully taken as the novel began was cringe-worthy.

The plot is that daddy warbucks wants the PI to escort his daughter because he thinks she's at risk for kidnapping. Why this is suddenly a threat now, when she's been all through high school with no issues, then all through college with no issues, and now she's been gallivanting around town partying all the time without even so much as a whisper of a threat is never explained (at least not in the portion I read). The PI is blackmailed into it because of some shady event in his past, but the assignment is so open-ended that it makes no sense. There is no threat to his daughter - there is only daddy warbucks's fear of one, so when is this assignment supposed to end? The PI is too dumb to even ask.

And why the PI? Why not hire a professional security detail? Why not hire a couple of moonlighting cops? None of this is even raised, much less dealt with. Worse than that, the girl is the polar opposite of Mr. Hard-Ass-the-PI. She dresses in pink and is a 'girly-girl' as far as I could see, so we're truly hit over the head with this tired cliché of square-peg versus round-hole (so to speak), which frankly held no appeal whatsoever for me. It's been done far too many times before. This one offered no promise of anything original or off-the-beaten-track based on what I'd read thus far, and there isn't even the promise of any mystery to it.

I cannot recommend this.