The Dire Days of Wollowweep Manor by Shaenon K Garrity, Christopher Baldwin

Rating: WORTHY!

From an advance review copy for which I thank the publisher.

The description has it that this is Nimona meets Paper Girls, but having read both of those stories, I didn't see it. This is its own story, and I dislike it when a new work is compared with a mashup of older ones. To me, it feels insulting to the author.

Often I will not even think of reading a story that's described in such a way, but fortunately I didn't let that put me off this one for once! I really enjoyed this. It was smart, original, entertaining, amusing, and fun. The mashup that this graphic novel does achieve is the impressive feat of conjoining a Gothic romance with sci-fi story about a pocket universe that acts aa a protection against the evil 'Bile' which comes from another universe and seeks to subsume everything.

The story is of Haley, a high-schooler and hopeless Gothic romance addict who gets into trouble with her teacher for turning in yet another book report about a Gothic romance. She's advised that she has to try something new or risk failing. Walking home in the pouring rain that evening (it rains a lot in this graphic!) she espies a young man struggling in the creek as she crosses the bridge, and she plunges in to help him, somehow ending up inside a Gothic romance. She learns this is a pocket universe leeching its world from the world of Gothic romance stories, so naturally there are three brooding, old-world brothers: Cuthbert, Lawrence, and Montague, a strange housemaid, and a ghost! Of course! But not everything is what you think it is, so don't jump to any conclusions.

Haley struggles through this with courage, aplomb and good humor, making some sneaky references to Gothic romances as she goes, and eventually wins out. The novel features rather ineffectual brothers and strong female characters including Haley who is a young black woman and who's deadly with an umbrella. Overall this was a fun story - a little bit on the lengthy side, maybe, if I had a criticism, but a good engaging story that I commend as a worthy read.

The October Faction Volume 1 by Steve Niles

Title:
Author: Steve Niles
Publisher: IDW
Rating: WORTHY!

Illustrated by Damien Worm.

This is another advance review copy of a comic book which arrived without a cover or any material listing the writers, artists, and so on. The first page is the first page of the story. You know I could understand ARC books coming out in the past without a cover if it wasn't ready yet, but there really is no excuse whatsoever in this electronic age for having no cover. Even if the cover art isn't yet done (and I'd have to wonder why, especially for a genre which places great stock in cover art), it's perfectly simple thing to put a blank cover with a note on it explaining the problem.

Normally, I'd also wonder if creators spent less time self-indulgently creating myriad cover variants, they might have one to spare for the actual cover, but in this case, even that doesn't apply since there is no back cover or variant art in the back either! That works for me, but it still doesn't excuse a lack of any sort of cover.

Having said that, the art work was interesting, if tending towards muddy earth tones too much. It used the full page, so no wasted trees here in the print version. It looks almost like it was done in water colors, which was a cool idea - or at least was done in a computerized mimic of water colors. For my taste, though, it was way too dark, and the text, once again, was really hard to read in the iPad in Bluefire Reader.

I think graphic novel creators still think nostalgically in terms of print books and that's a mistake. Reading it in Adobe Digital reader on a 19" monitor, which renders the image roughly the same size as a print comic, still gave some problems but was a lot more legible than the iPad view.

The story felt really hard to get into - and this is volume one! It felt like I came into something in progress, or had started reading volume two by mistake. There was very little given to guide the reader to what was happening or why. The first part of it which started making any sense was page fourteen where "Miss Vivian" comes home from her last day of high school, disgusted with all the frivolous behavior. On that score I can relate to her, and her description of the events as a "selfie apocalypse" was funny to me. She's so disillusioned with school hat she flatly refuses to go to the graduations ceremony.

The large house in which she lives - with a servant yet! - is reputed to be haunted. The dark deep-hued coloring now seemed to work a lot better. I like the way the artist brought reds into it, suggestive of blood, perhaps? Vivian's brother Geoff has finally managed to trap a spirit - in the closet! It's bound magically, so Vivian gets to open the closet door to see it, which was amusing. Shades of Harry Potter in the dark Arts class in Prisoner of Azkaban. They plan on letting it go. I'm not sure I would, given how the spirit looks, but this is just a proof of concept thing for them. They have some deal going for which they need their father's approval, and Geoff now believes they can get it, given his success here.

That part was winning back my favor, but then we abruptly quit the story for a few pages to go off elsewhere and I was lost again, and just beginning to become annoyed when we switched right back to Geoff and Vivian and the arrival of their father. I'm getting whiplash here! The demon which is supposedly trapped attacks their father and the only way they can scare it off is to show it its own reflection in a hand mirror, which causes it to flee, but Geoff and Vivian think their father's behavior is weird, not the fact that they had a pet demon! That was funny.

So, a bunch of mixed feelings about this, especially towards the negative need of the spectrum when I began it, but I grew increasingly favorable towards it as I read through it. This felt like an extended prologue more than anything else and I despise prologue sin regular novels. This one did introduce us to the family, but we learned very little about them and what's going on in their world. Volume two needs to come through with a lot more solid explanation about exactly what this world is and how it works. That said, I feel fine rating this as a worthy read with the caveats I've mentioned borne firmly in mind.

Monster Motors by Brian Lynch

Title: Monster Motors
Author: Brian Lynch
Publisher: Idea & Design Works, LLC
Rating: WORTHY!

Illustrated by Nick Roche.

There was no front cover on this - the comic opened right at page one! Hopefully that will be fixed in the actual published version. This graphic novel takes the term "Monster Trucks" literally! The story here is that Vic Frankenstein has come to Transylvania because in his opinion, it badly needs a motor mechanic. He has an assistant, IGOR - an acronym for Interactive Garage Operations Robot. Vic bought a garage/junkyard on the Internet. There was only one condition - never take down the "big, scary fence". Uh-huh.

He cleans up the garage and then heads out to drum-up business in town. He doesn't mind the drudge work or starting small. He has a saying "Michelangelo had to paint a few motels before they offered him that chapel." The problem is that as soon as he's fixed-up a few cars, he discovers the very next morning that those same vehicles are trashed. The only clue to the perp is two puncture wounds near the gas tank. Vic decides to lie in wait with IGOR to see what's going on and sure enough, he discovers a vampire car by the name of Cadillacula.

I loved this idea. I was almost willing to give it five stars based on the idea alone, but lots of people have great ideas for stories; the challenge is to deliver, and actually turn that idea into an entertaining novel. We have to see if this can be done, and in my opinion it was. You see, this series not only explores the twin stalwarts of Gothic horror, Dracula and Frankenstein, but also many other characters from the sci-fi and horror genres. I mean, surely you've heard of Minivan Helsing? The Lagoon Buggy? Wheelwolf?

Meanwhile, back at the garage, Vic's problems are taking a turn for the worst. Cadillacula returns and takes a bite out of his custom-made super-truck. Now, not only has he unleashed a monster, he has inadvertently given it super-powers! Naturally the only response to this is to build a Frankenstein monster of a truck from the parts of dead vehicles, but even this has unexpected consequences, as Vic is about to discover.

I really liked this story. It was fun, playful, inventive, beautifully illustrated and moved apace. I do confess I had to wonder initially, why there were so many skimpily-dressed females in Transylvania, but even that rather paled against the question of why there were so many American vehicles in Transylvania. I had thought that perhaps both questions could be answered when we understand that if there is one vehicle that the USA is really good at producing, it's a steamroller that goes by the name of Hollywood. Then later in the story I discovered that this was supposedly Transylvania, Kentucky, which actually no longer exists, just as the European Transylvania no longer exists.

In terms of complaints, I'd have to say there were almost none. One problem I did notice was that the inking was way too light. I liked that this writer doesn't feel the need to randomly bold odd words here and there, like comic book writers do way-the-hell too often, but the penmanship here was very faint-hearted making it a bit difficult to read at times. Other than that, I recommend this whole-heartedly.

Madame Frankenstein by Jamie S Rich

Title: Madame Frankenstein
Author: Jamie S Rich
Publisher: Image Comics
Rating: WORTHY!

Illustrated by Megan Levens.

DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

I'm not sure what this has to do with the name 'Frankenstein' as such, since there's no one in this novel who goes by that name, but it is another retelling of the Frankenstein story. Set in 1932, it tells of Vincent Krall, mentally abused by the alpha male in his adoptive family, and run out of his college, sets out to prove his worth as a physician. His inspiration comes when the love of his life - a woman who really cares very little for him - is killed in a fiery motoring accident.

He takes her corpse and reanimates it, filling in the most badly damaged bits with spare body parts - the sources of which he has no qualms over. I mean, if someone's at death's door, you may as well hurry them through, right, if someone needs their organs?

His new woman looks very much like his old love, and he teaches her everything she needs to know about passing for human and being a woman, but for some reason, she's never quite enough for him. You know what they say about a woman scorned, right? On that same score, Vincent's "step-brother" is also onto him. He despises Vincent and knows he's up to something, but this simply makes him one more task which Vincent has to take care of, doesn't it?

Vincent fails to grasp just how much Henry knows and exactly who he's told about it, but that's the least of his troubles. What's he going to do when the woman in his life and starts getting it together? Is something going to start falling apart?

I highly recommend this one. Jamie Rich's story is credible and sensible (if a little crazy around the edges!). The artwork by Megan Levens is outstanding - clean, sharp line drawings, beautifully done and remarkably expressive. The whole comes together to make a great story with an ending which is, I have to say in the particular, even better than the sum of its parts....

A Drowned Maiden's Hair by Laura Amy Schlitz

Title: A Drowned Maiden's Hair
Author: Laura Amy Schlitz
Publisher: Recorded Books
Rating: WORTHY!

I was charmed by this debut novel from the off. It's a middle-grade historical fiction tale with elements of the Gothic about it, and everything seemed right - even the narrator's voice, with which I seem to find myself often having issues in audio books of late. Of course it helps if the novel is beautifully written and this one is. The author has an endearing way with words, the story is well-plotted, well-paced, and truly engrossing, and the main character is a keeper.

Maud Flynn is an orphan in a rather dour and strict home. Her older brother and younger sister were taken by a farmer and his wife - the boy because he could work the farm and the baby because she was so cute, but no one wanted a girl like Maud who couldn't work the farm (so the myth held) and worse, who was opinionated and feisty.

It comes as a bit of a surprise then, to Maud, who is locked in the outhouse for yet another infraction, and who is singing the Battle Hymn of the Republic at the top of her voice, when she's selected by Hyacinth, one of three aging sisters, to be their daughter.

At first Maud is thrilled beyond words to be finally picked, and she swears to herself to stay on her very best behavior, but it slowly becomes apparent to her that it wasn't really a daughter that these sisters wanted. They were looking for someone younger, but when Hyacinth realized that Maud was small for her age, she became her first choice.

It turns out that the sisters are perpetrating a scam, as all psychic mediums do. They bilk grieving people for everything they can get by faking visits from the spirits of departed loved ones, and in order to bilk their richest client yet, Mrs. Lambert, they need someone to impersonate her drowned daughter, someone who is small enough to fit into a secret cupboard by the fireplace, someone who can follow instructions to the letter. That's why they picked Maud.

I thought this might be a supernatural story which is why I picked it up. It isn't. It's just a story of Maud and fraud, but that took nothing away from it. The novel is really well-written, is engrossing and captivating. Hyacinth is one of the most deliciously repulsive villains I've read of in a long time. I fell in love with Maud who eventually did the right thing even at great cost to her own circumstances. I thought and hoped that it would end differently, but it ended comfortably if a little sugary.

I recommend this for an entertaining read.

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

Title: Wuthering Heights
Author: Emily Brontë
Publisher: Digiview Entertainment
Rating: WARTY!

This is part of a trilogy of reviews centered around Wuthering Heights, including Withering Tights and the amusingly titled Wuthering High by Cara Lockwood. Only one of the three I did I find to be a worthy read, and it wasn't this one.

This novel should have been titled Wuthering Shite, it's such a huge, teetering pile of festering excrement. This is, without any shadow of a doubt, absolutely the worst audio book I've ever had to stomach. The cover says that it's narrated by Tiffany Clark, who is useless, but it's also co-narrated by a guy, who goes completely uncredited. I understand his desire to remain anonymous given that he is without question the worst reader of anyone I've ever encountered, audio-book or not, professional or amateur. He is completely pathetic in every sense. He can't pronounce any word that is longer than three syllables. Neither of them can do a British accent, let alone a Yorkshire one. Both of these dickheads read it with American accents because they are Americans. From what I can gather, Tiffany Clark is a retired porn actress, and the guy might well be her ex, Fred Lincoln, but these are just guesses. Both of them are only semi-literate as judged by their horrendous litany of mispronounced words.

That's why, even though this novel is set in Yorkshire, a county I love and from which both my parents hail, I cannot recommend this novel. And it's not just the audio version, it's the novel itself, as well. I swear, if Emily Brontë, aka Ellis Bell, were alive today, she'd be living in LA and writing trashy scripts for daytime soaps. Do please note the cover image above. This is a photograph of Cathy taken precisely at the moment when Heathcliff put his right boot tip up her snotty, smart-mouthing arse.

This was a wretched trash-heap of a racist novel and the reading, by people with American accents had to be a joke, right? There was no chemistry so why the publisher thought this would work was a complete and utter mystery of Holmesian proportions. The story already was nauseating, but it was rendered more so by the vomit coming from these readers' mouths.

This novel, which teaches that Romany people are nothing but child-abandoning and violent scum would never have gained publication for itself (except as a self-published novel), had it been written today. Here, as a public service, so you never have to read this novel and suffer through it yourself, is a précis!

Lockwood, having seen bizarre dysfunctional behaviors at the home of his landlord, abusive bastard Heathcliff, and dreamed of the ghost of Psycho Bitch trying to get through his window, gets the lowdown on the action from his own housekeeper, Nelly Dean. This is the start of a confusing babble of multiple PoV historical accounts of events in which Nelly can recall word for word conversations from thirty years before, including the exact wording of a letter, and can describe events to which she was never party. A-friggin'-mazing!

Heathcliff was an apparent Romany child who was adopted by Earnshaw and who through cheating, intimidation, and subterfuge rises to own Earnshaw's home. His co-dependent and vilely dysfunctional relationship with Catherine is the Gothic romance which people have praised almost since this abortion of a work of so-called literature was published. Even Brontë's own sister thought it was so bad that she edited it extensively after the novel had killed its author (evidently she died of a broken heart after realizing what a lousy piece of crap she'd foisted upon the unsuspecting public).

There follows a litany of bullshit and crap, with bad people doing worse things to losers, some of whom even deserve what they get, but in the end, Cathy dies, and Heathcliff is still a jerk. The best part of the novel is when they're both lying next to each other in the ground, dead and rotting, just as each of them spent their entire life.

I thoroughly recommend this novel for toilet paper - but not the CD version - it's kinda hard to wipe with CDs and you can't even rumple them up first.

Dracula by Bram Stoker

Title: Dracula
Author: Bram Stoker
Publisher: Recorded Books
Rating: TBD

This is a movie/novel tie-in. The Francis Ford Coppola movie based on this novel is reviewed here. Also for those interested, the Movie: Mary Shelley's Frankenstein is reviewed here. The Frankenstein novel is reviewed here.

Narrated by Susan Adams and Alexander Spencer. These two do a lot better job than that abomination perpetrated by Ralph Cosham on Mary Shelley's novel, but their narration still leaves a heck of a lot to be desired. Adams's voice is far too breathy and "projected". That might work well on stage, but that's precisely why I don't like theater because it is all theater and no reality. Spencer's voice has too much treble to the point where it's harsh, sharp, tinny, and grating on the nerves, and whereas Cosham in Frankenstein was tedious to the point of somnabulance, Spencer is the diametric opposite. He injects way-the-HELL too much melodrama into his "performance" turning it into a joke. Its sad, because this novel is, for the most part, well written and enjoyable, but Spencer all-but ruins it with his insane theatrics.

This one begins in a similar fashion to Shelley's Frankenstein, but instead of letters, we have diary entries, which renders the story a bit unrealistic, but it's passable. Jonathan Harker, a junior "solicitor" travels to Transylvania to the Castle Dracula, where Count Dracula seeks to have someone take care of what business he has tied up with his planned move to London. Note that a solicitor in Britain is a lawyer who handles legal affairs which don't need to be aired in court. A lawyer who does practice in the courtroom is called a barrister. It's possible for a lawyer to be both.

Harker is at first excited to travel, and fills his diary with all sorts of warm observations about the people, the countryside, and the food, but after he settles in at Castle Dracula, he slowly discovers that he's a prisoner there, and Dracula has no intention of letting him leave. He discovers to his increasing dismay that Dracula is controlling the letters he can send, and eventually, Harker discovers that Dracula has impounded his outdoor clothing so Harker cannot leave.

Dracula warns Harker about exploring the castle: he must never fall asleep outside of his own rooms, but of course he rebels against this and discovers that Dracula has three female familiars to whom he feeds a baby one night. Harker is horrified and starts plotting an escape, realizing that if he does not flee he will die at the teeth of Dracula and his blood-sucking frenzied fiendish female familiars.

Once Harker escapes the castle, we move quickly to England where Dracula arrives in dramatic fashion (and in disguise) in Whitby (I've been there done that, but go no T-shirt!). It's at this point that the narrative transfers heavily to the diaries of Lucy Westenra and Mina Murray as they ramble on, mostly about men and gossip. This part (disk 4) becomes quite boring, but having said that, there are several unintentionally funny parts in this novel. One is when the 'creatures of the night' (mostly wolves) are 'singing' and Dracula pauses to listen. He asks a man name Harker to "Hark" (p76)! I thought that was priceless. Later, Mina describes the funeral of the captain of the Demeter and writes of the huge number of sea-faring folk who wanted to take part in the funeral - but that's not quite how Stoker phrases it: "...the owners of more than a hundred boats have already given in their names as wishing to follow him to the grave."! To his credit, though, Stoker does have some interesting and forward-thinking things to say about the "New Women" on page 142.

Lucy Westenra's mother doesn't feature in the movie, but she features strongly in the novel as the architect of her daughter's death though her habit of constantly removing or accidentally destroying the garlic wreaths supplied for her daughter's protection; however, the real architect of her death is van Helsing himself through sheer incompetence. he knows perfectly well what is going on yet he fails consistently to prepare her or her loved ones for her welfare, to warn everyone adequately about what must be done, or to safeguard her from vampire attacks. The single best maneuver which would have secured her health would have been to board up the external door to her bedroom, but no one even considers this! She has no one sitting with her on a regular basis and those who do are not augmented by support from others so that they do not risk falling asleep on her. Sad!

This novel is, like Frankenstein, quite boring in many places, a fact which is in no way ameliorated by the sad narration from either Adams or Spencer. One really big advantage of listening on CD is that it is really very easy to skip to the next track without even having to turn a page!

In the final analysis, I have to rate this warty!