Showing posts with label mermaids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mermaids. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 4, 2020

Alabaster Island by MS Kaminsky

Rating: WARTY!

Errata: "she was pretty with her long trusses of wavy auburn hair" - I think the author meant 'tresses'! Trusses would be rather weird. He also had post-pone at one point but I don't know if it was written that way with the hyphen, or if it was an artifact of the word processor or the ebook conversion process.

I'm not sure why I began reading this story. It's not very long, but even so, I made it only halfway through before giving up in disgust and in resentment at the time I'd wasted on it. The biggest problem with it was that literally nothing happened in it. I thought that the main character, Marei, would find out she's a mermaid, and maybe she did, but not on the first half of the novel where she found out nothing, did nothing, learned nothing, changed not so much as a millimeter and was one of the most boring characters I've ever read about. Marei isn't very smart and has no imagination, which is hardly surprising since there seems to be zero schooling on the island.

The premise is stupid. Apparently a very limited number of people live on the island and the mayor - a man who lives alone, decides who gets to pair off with who. Why? I don't know. The story is that no one can get pregnant on the island and they have to go off to another tiny island to get pregnant. Why? Who the hell knows? The author isn't telling and no one on the island finds this even remotely strange. The fact is that the reader doesn't know squat about this community because there is zero world-building and not a single person on the island, not even the younger ones, have an iota of curiosity about their life, why they are there, why they have so little freedom, what's elsewhere, off the island, or anything!

At a certain age, they're supposed to note down on a scrap of paper the name of the person they want to 'bind' with, but options are severely limited and the mayor makes the final decision. Everyone is apparently fine with this ridiculous arrangement. Marei encounters a mermaid one day, and isn't even remotely surprised despite mermaids supposedly being extinct. She has no curiosity about this alien being, and the mermaid is one of the most petulant characters worthy of the Tinker Bell Award. There is only the one encounter with this mermaid - at least in what I could stand to read and we learn nothing from it. There are occasional ships that pass the island, but which never interact with it. Why? Who knows. The reader certainly doesn't because the author tells us squat and no one ever questions anything.

The whole story was nonsensical and a waste of my time.

Tuesday, September 1, 2020

Mermaid Adventure by Neville Astley, Mark Baker


Rating: WORTHY!

I have no idea what the deal is with Peppa Pig, but lest anyone accuse me of impugning her porkritude, let me trot this one out as well. While I consider the Family Trip volume to be pork scratching the bottom of the barrel, this one wasn't sexist and told a decent story for young children, so I consider this to be a worthy read. I consider it paints a decent porktrait or pigture of this cartoon animal, but that's all I have to say about Peppa, salty as it is.

Note that Astley and Baker are the creators of the Peppa, but whether they had anything to do with this book is unclear to me!


Friday, September 13, 2019

The Deep by Rivers Solomon


Rating: WARTY!

This novella is a fail on two counts, the main one being that whoever published it hates trees and the author apparently sees nothing wrong with this! In order to make a slim-to-nothing volume look worth the price, the publishers have made this disingenuous book have huge margins all around and widely-spaced lines such that the actual text doesn't even cover fifty percent of the page! I seriously doubt this is made even partially form recycled peper,, hence the publishers hate trees.

Naturally you don't want a page to be completely covered with text, but to allow this much white space is killing trees for vanity. Trees are one of the precious few entities on planet Earth which are actually combatting climate change. Not talking about it, but doing it! And these publishers want to slaughter trees for this book and not even respect that sacrifice by actually using the page? Screw them and screw author who allow this, and yes, screw people who buy these books.

And mermaids underwater having normal conversation in American English? Have you ever tried talking underwater? This author hasn't so let me save her the trouble: It. Doesn't. Work. Maybe they were communicating telepathically, but the author never says that. But it gets worse! This is an African slave who went overboard. She spoke no English, American or otherwise. I don't expect it to be written in some West African dialect, but neither did I expect it to be modern American English! The slaves didn't go overboard yesterday so even if they spoke English, it wouldn't be modern! I expected something to convey how alien these mermaids are even though they're purportedly descended from us. This book is ill-conceived and environmentally braindead. Warts all over. I'm done with this author. I tell you the more acclaim an author has, the more awards and honors, the less worth reading they are. Truly.


Sunday, July 15, 2018

Sailor Twain or, The Mermaid in the Hudson by Mark Siegel


Rating: WORTHY!

This was a graphic novel written and illustrated by Siegel, which I read a while back and had forgotten to blog! I do not know how that happened, but now I'm correcting that mistake. I really enjoyed this. It went on a bit long to be truly perfect, and the ending was somewhat confused, but overall it was a worthy read.

I'm not a big fan of mermaid stories, despite having an idea for one of my own! They have never made a whole lot of sense to me, but to have the, what might be called 'vagina-shaming' and erroneous insult of a fishy smell taken ownership of in so graphic a manner whereby the lower half actually is a fish, is too delicious and intriguing a concept, and I have to love it.

My lack of fanship for these stories is admirably attested to by the fact that I've reviewed only one mermaid book in my entire blog of many hundreds of reviews, and I liked that one. I know I have another somewhere on my shelf which I should read and blog, but for now, this is the only other one. That said, I watched and enjoyed an entire TV series about these mermaids who live on the coast of Queensland, Australia. it was called H2O and had a kick-ass theme song (Ordinary Girl) written by Shelly Rosenberg and performed by Kate Alexa.

The reason I made this drastic decision was that I was working on my Terrene World novel Seahorses, a follow-up to Cloud Fighters, although featuring a different cast (I'm not a fan of series!). My characters are not mermaids, but they do have special powers in this environmentally-themed, female-empowerment novel for middle-graders which was also set in that same general vicinity, and I wanted some local flavor and accent, and in the end I became quite a fan of the show because it was so cute and amusing! Plus I've always been a softie for Australians.

Anyway! Sailor Twain plies the Hudson river in New York and he lands a mermaid one day. She's sick and he keeps her hidden in his cabin as he nurses her back to health whereupon the two become quite attached. The story then becomes highly embellished with shady characters, mysterious females, and undersea enchantments, and apart from the somewhat confused ending, it tells a fun story of intrigue, fantasy, and mystery and does quite a good take on mermaid mythology. I recommend it. Or maybe just commend it. I mean, why would I recommend it when I haven't commended it in the first place? Okay...so I commend it, and now I recommend it! Yeah, that's it!


Monday, October 14, 2013

September Girls by Bennet Madison





Title: September Girls
Author: Bennet Madison
Publisher: Harper Teen
Rating: WORTHY!

Once again we have a novel where the author could have made a better choice for the title. There is at least three other novels out there with very similar titles to this one, and this caveat is especially true of a novel which discusses summer girls, not September girls per se. I wanted to read this because I had read of some controversy over it, and I happened upon it in the library, so I snatched it up to see what's it was all about, even though I had sworn I would never read a mermaid novel! So much for that resolution....

This novel is told in the first person (something which normally makes me cringe, but in this case it wasn't too awful) by Sam, who has gone to Nag's Head in North Carolina with his older brother Jeff, and their father for the entire summer. Given that their father walked out on his job, how they're affording this whimsy of a vacation goes in want of a serious explanation, but given how well-versed in walk-outs the family is, you should take pair rather than despair from this.

From almost the first evening they're there, Sam notices that there is a plague of really attractive, blonde, white girls sauntering around the resort, and each of them seems to pay him far more attention than he is both used to and familiar with, but not one of them will approach him to talk unless he initiates the conversation. It's pretty obvious who these girls are once we share Sam and Jeff's encounter with a girl who seems to magically appear in the surf that first evening, and then hurries - on all fours, because she evidently can't walk - over the dunes and into the long grass before Jeff can even catch her to ask if she's okay, let alone inevitably try to take advantage of her! Yes, Jeff is a real college frat boy. Sam isn't, and is mildly disgusted with Jeff's obsession with getting laid. He's also repelled by these strange girls and doesn't want to get involved with any of them. Guess how well that plan was executed?

These girls are mermaids. No mystery about that, although Sam doesn't figure it out because there's no reason for him to imagine that Nag's Head is full of mermaids for the summer, but he refers to them with an initial cap: "Girls" to distinguish them from the regular resort girls who pay him exactly the attention he expects, which is none. Over a short time, both he and Jeff take up with two of the Girls, Jeff with Kristle (pronounced Crystal) and Sam with DeeDee, but there are immediately issues. Kristle keeps hitting on Sam, even as Jeff falls in love with her. Both of these things creep Sam out, especially because falling in love isn't something that's ever been remotely confused with Jeff's college playbook.

Just when Sam is really starting to fall for DeeDee, she cold-shoulders him, and won't tell him why. I can relate to that! I can actually (although seventeen is a ways in the past for me) relate to a lot of what goes through Sam's mind as a seventeen-year-old. Some reviewers, I know, have found Sam and Jeff's attitudes to be genderist and gross, but these are young men, and are a product of their genes and their past. There really are people out there like them, and to suggest no one should write about them is appallingly arrogant of those reviewers. Besides, Sam has redeeming qualities which those reviewers seem to have overlooked. In addition to that, his narrative is as amusing as it is bizarre at times.

Those same reviewers seem also to have overlooked the fact that these mermaids are not "girls", per se. They're aliens, trying to adapt to life in a strange, and even hostile environment, so while they look like, and indeed emulate human females, it's completely absurd to judge them based on the criteria upon which we might measure and judge human girls. It's like bitching at Jane Goodall for not acting more like chimpanzees! There is a mermaid narrative interwoven with Sam's (and a really funny reference to a song from Disney's The Little Mermaid, made by DeeDee when she and Sam were hiding out inside a model pirate ship on a miniature golf course). The story is also really entertaining and kept me reading.

Interspersed almost randomly between the chapters which Sam relates, there is a one or two page break filled by observations made by one of the mermaids. Those are amusing and informative, but we're given no good indication of who it is who writes them. While it's tempting to think DeeDee is the writer, it may be Kristle, or even more than one author, but Whoever it is often speaks in a rather sweeping plural - talking of "we" rather than "I". She's really speaking about mer-kind, rather than herself alone.

What about the writing? I liked it. I enjoyed the way it's written and the humor and the weird observations made by both Sam and the mermaids. I've been to Nag's Head, so I can relate to what Sam is saying in that regard too, and to be frank, while Nag's Head is a lot smaller than its reputation, there is a bit more to do there than Sam indicates, but the writing is good. Having said that, there was one oddball sentence starting at the bottom of p190: "And sitting on the porch watching the fireworks with my drunk, tattooed, chain-smoking mother, her reclined in obvious languor in a half collapsing beach chaise...". Her reclined?! That may be technically correct (I honestly can't say for sure, but it really feels wrong to me!), although I would have written: "...she reclining...".

So I finished this and I have to say I felt let down by the ending, but not so let down that I can't still recommend this as a worthy read. It's tempting to say that this is not your usual mermaid story, but given that I have read none, I can only surmise that this is probably different from the kind of mer-romance you might be used to if you're an aficionado.