Humpy-Dumpty Flip Side Rhymes by Christopher Harbo

Title: Humpy-Dumpty Flip Side Rhymes
Author: Christopher Harbo (no website found)
Publisher: Capstone Publishing
Rating: WORTHY!

Illustrated by Danny Chatzikonstantinou (no website found).

This is a flip book, which means nothing if you read it in ebook form, since it's linear. If you flip it, all you get is the back side of your ebook reader, which I assure you isn't very entertaining! This is why you should glue a print book to the back of your ebook reader, just in case. Make it one of those ass-backwards Japanese manga books which you have to read backwards anyway, so it's no great loss. Note that this is a serving suggestion only so you can't sue me if your TV dinner looks like capybara vomit and not a whit like the charming picture on the box...!

I have not seen the printed form of this version of Humpty-Dumpty, but I imagine that you literally flip the book over and read the other half from the back to the middle. This is actually a cool idea, because the first half tells the traditional nursery rhyme, whereas the second half gives rather a different and non-traditional perspective.

According to Wikipedia, the earliest version of Humpty-Dumpty wasn't like the one which is commonly known:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Four-score Men and Four-score more,
Could not make Humpty Dumpty where he was before

The newer version makes more sense! Various scholars have tried to equate Humpty with Richard the Third, or with a medieval siege engine known as a tortoise, but as far as I can see, there's no real provenance for these claims, and it's probably nothing more than what it was originally intended to be: a nineteenth century riddle, the answer to which is an egg.

The delight of this particular book is that we get not only Humpty's side of things, but also the heartfelt complaints and if I may make so bold, the highly practical assessment of the king's men. Since The King's Men was an acting company to which William Shakespeare belonged, I do feel that we should take their view as gospel in this matter, and accept it as the true fate of Humpty. I recommend this flip-book for flipping off all those who disagree!

No More Pacifier Duck by Michael Dahl

Title: No More Pacifier Duck
Author: Michael Dahl
Publisher: Capstone Publishing
Rating: WORTHY!

Illustrated by Oriol Vidal.

This is a charmingly illustrated children's book designed to talk feisty and obstinate youngsters into giving up the pacifier. I can speak from personal experience of this since the oldest of my two sons was distinctly loathe to liberate himself! Maybe I was too at his age. Hilariously, he's also now (as a teenager), completely given to bizarre, out-of-context and off-the-wall sayings, a favorite of which is "I like Ducks". I haven't been able to persuade him to read this particular book, I'm sorry to say!

The villainous creature who seeks to duck his responsibilities here is a wild and crazy little guy, but he isn't as yellow as he's painted, and he is determined. His mother, however, is even more determined than is he. Who will quack first? I suspect most parents won't have quite the easy time his mom does in their efforts to break the addiction, but you cannot fault her for her effort and dedication.

Her method is to gently, but firmly, and consistently, wean him at every opportunity. Every time he's sucking on the pacifier, no matter what he's doing, mom is there to dissuade him, moving him steadily away from it by inches and finally, she succeeds like a beakless sparrow.

The drawings are simplistic but they don't suck! They're entirely appropriate for the age this is aimed at, and they're colorful and attractive. I don't doubt that children who feel oppressed will identify with the little duck and hopefully, in doing so, will show that they are growing up, just as the duck is, and no longer need the pacifier. I liked this story and recommend it.

Jade Dragon Mountain by Elsa Hart

Title: Jade Dragon Mountain
Author: Elsa Hart
Publisher: MacMillan
Rating: WORTHY!

Possible erratum:
Page 272 "indicate" is used where "implicate" would be more appropriate. Either can be used here though, so maybe this isn't an error.

There was a prologue which I skipped as I do all prologues. Chapter one begins on page seven, so the book is some 315 pages long. It's set in China either at the beginning of the nineteenth century, or the beginning of the twentieth, thinks I, depending upon which Prince Frederick of Saxony is referred to in the text. There were three. I was wrong: it was actually set in 1780.

There is nothing in the text per se to show in what year this takes place, not until page 131, where we see a letter which was dated December 1707. We're told that this letter's date is "...only several months ago...", yet the book blurb assures us that this is taking place in 1780! One character mentions Prince Frederick of Saxony. The Kingdom of Saxony existed only between 1806 and 1918, and the only prince Fredericks were: Frederick Augustus I 1806 - 1827, Frederick Augustus II 1836 - 1854, Frederick Augustus III 1904 - 1918.

There was an Electorate of Saxony prior to this, and there was an Elector Frederick Augustus III was in power around 1780, but not in 1707 and anyway, to call him a prince is mistaken and misleading, but aside from that, I noticed no other glaring errors - and they would have had to have been glaring for me to see them since my knowledge of eighteenth century China is non-existent!

Author Elsa Hart is a genuine Roman! She was born in Roma, Italy and has lived in Russia, and in the Czech Republic, the US, and China. This novel was actually written in Lijiang, which used to be known as Dayan, the setting for this story.

It begins with Li Du, a once respected librarian who fell into disgrace because of his association with malcontents in Beijing. He was exiled from the capital by the Emperor himself, evidently lucky to have retained his head. Now Li Du spends all his time traveling alone, and on the very edge of the Chinese borderlands, he stops at the city of Dayan, an outpost which is becoming ever more crowded as people gather to see the all-powerful god-emperor hide the sun. Li Du has to report in to the magistrate, who happens to be a cousin, who is none too pleased with the disgrace Li Du has brought upon the family.

His cousin would normally send him on his way into the mountains, but the emperor is coming to the city to perform his miracle - seemingly to precipitate this eclipse which in reality he knows is coming because it was predicted by Jesuit scholars. Li Du's cousin doesn't trust all the foreigners crowding into his city, and demands a favor of Li Du: spend a few days here, talk to the foreign guests, find out what their attitudes and purposes are, report back, and then he can go on his way with his cousin's blessing.

The first night he's there, one of the two Jesuit Priests, an elderly astronomer, is murdered. Li Du discovers that he was poisoned, but no-one seems to care, not with the emperor due to arrive in only six days. Li Du's cousin becomes annoyed at Li Du's potential for stirring up trouble over this murder, so he signs his papers early and pretty much runs him out of town without even giving him the courtesy of providing him with a rail.

Unable to live with the idea of someone getting away with murder, Li Du abruptly halts his journey and resolves to return to the city from which he was ejected by his own cousin, and solve this murder. He has less than a week to do it and he risks of the wrath of the Emperor should he fail.

As writers we're told to write what we know, but no writer really ever does that when you get right down to it. Joanne Rowling never met a dark lord and she certainly never attended a school for witchcraft and wizardry, yet she wrote seven best sellers in the subject. Jack McDevitt never traveled between the stars, yet he wrote not one but two (mostly) excellent series of novels on that very topic! Elsa Hart never lived in China in the eighteenth century, but she sure lived there when she wrote this, and I think that shows.

You don't have to be Chinese or to have lived in the eighteenth century to write a good novel on the topic. You don't even need to be accurate to write it well, not for me, at least. The truth is that very few people would be in a position to call you out on errors - unless, of course, those errors are glaring. Typically I really don't care that much because for me, she's written it convincingly, regardless of how spot-on accurate or how far adrift from the truth she actually is. That's what's important for me. The only reason I looked up the prince was to try and figure out exactly when this was supposed to be taking place!

Unable to live with the idea of someone getting away with murder, Li Du resolves to return to the city he's effectively been tossed out of by his own cousin, and solve this murder. He has less than a week to do it and the risk of the wrath of the Emperor should he fail.

What follows is a really excellent story, which I enjoyed immensely. The author is a skilled writer and while she did drop into a bit too much detail for my taste here and there, overall the story moved well. It moved intelligently, and the plot definitely thickened! I'm usually bad at figuring out who dunnit, so I was rather thrilled in this case to narrow it down to two people one of whom was the actual killer. I even figured out what the motive was, but what I didn't see coming was not one, but two twists at the end, one of which was big, and both of which I really appreciated. This was an excellent and speedy read, and I fully recommend it. I'd love to have read more about Lady Chen and Bao, but that's a minor complaint.

The Waterborn by Greg Keyes

Title: The Waterborn
Author: Greg Keyes
Publisher: Open Road Integrated Media
Rating: WORTHY!

I reviewed Footsteps in the Sky back in February and I didn't like that one either, so I guess this author isn't for me. This is book one of a series, so while I confess I am not a fan of series, at least I came into this one at volume one (clearly marked on the cover, I'm happy to report! I appreciated that!). I feel rather cynical about the purpose and existence of novel series, since they tend not to be so novel after all. Once in a while you can find one which is truly well done, original, and addictive, but these are rare. Nevertheless, hope springs eternal that the next one I experiment with will be such an exception. This wasn't.

In order to get a reader to follow you, as a writer, into a series, you have to grab them and give them everything they need to come back and I felt this one didn't give me any reason to want to keep going, much less continue through more than one volume. There are 350 pages of this, and I couldn't read beyond the first fifty because nothing happened, nor looked it was going to. It began with a prologue which I skipped as I always do. Prologues are antiquated, and if the author doesn't feel it's important enough to include it in the main body of the book, then I certainly don't feel that it's important enough to expend time on. After that it was all down hill.

The story bounces back and forth between two characters: a ten-year-old girl named Hezhi, and a seventeen-year-old boy named Perkar. Hezhi is a princess who is missing her cousin. He was taken by the priests, evidently as some sort of a sacrifice, and Hezhi is determined to find out what happened to him. Why the royalty are not informed (or if they are, they're not telling Hezhi) what's happening to children of the royal blood isn't explained in the portion I read.

Perkar is the son of the village head man. He's in love with the rather bizarre goddess of the river, and is beaten brutally to become a man, by his own father with a wooden sword. I certainly didn't appreciate that nor did I see what purpose it served. if it was to make him look tough, it felt like it was a really poor way of getting the point across.

Hezhi has a giant who serves as her bodyguard, and despite his being built muscularly, he evidently gets out of breath swimming short distances. This made no sense to me. We meet Hezhi exploring the castle catacombs, trying to find a pathway that links with the route her cousin was taken. Why she can't take that actual route isn't explained - or if it was, I missed it - so she blindly wanders the castle tunnels hoping to blunder into it. Then she gives this up for no apparent reason and demands to be taught by the castle librarian, who treats this royal princess like dirt. Again, none of this made sense and by this time, Hezhi isn't looking very smart to me.

This was all that occupied the first fifty pages - so essentially nothing happened, and it was boring as it could possibly be, There was no sense of adventure, no thrill of the chase, no hint of a road trip or a real quest. It was just boring everyday life of two kids and it wasn't remotely entertaining to me. There was nothing to draw me to either kid, or to make me even sympathize, much less empathize with them. This is why I gave up on this novel. Life is too short to spend trying to find a story, when it should be right there from page one.

Le Mystère de la Chambre Jaune by Gaston Leroux

Title: The Mystery of the Yellow Room
Author: Gaston Leroux
Publisher: Dover Publications
Rating: WARTY!

This is an example of an adult historical novel that was actually contemporary when it was written, so it's a great novel to read to get a feel for the time and people's habits, clothing, and so on. It's also a great way to see how language has changed over time. Consider this phrase: "gay as a lark". 'Gay' was used more than once in this novel, and of course bears no relation whatsoever to the meaning which it most usually carries today.

This is supposed to be one of the quintessential locked-room mysteries, but I have to advise you that you're in for a boring read. It is really tedious, and the unnecessary secretiveness on the part of the journalist who is solving the crime is nothing short of tedious. It's really annoying and the novel had no need whatsoever to take up as much space as it did in incessant rambling and mindless drivel, such as the phrase, "...replied Madame Bernier—that was the name of the concierge—“ just a few lines - literally, after she had been introduced as the concierge.

Some small parts of this novel made no sense. I don't know if that was the translator's fault or what. I'm not going to give page numbers since this was on a Kindle app on my phone and I don't trust location numbers! Besides, who needs them when you have a search function? At one point, I read this: "...brandished in over my head a sort of mace." What? I have no idea what that's supposed to mean. I think maybe it was 'brandishing' instead of 'brandished in', which suggests that this was dictated rather than typed.

There are more of these than I want to catalog, like "...on the grass his grass!", but what intrigued me more was the consistent reference to the person who attacked Mademoiselle Stangerson as 'the murderer' when he had not murdered her. For example as in this exchange:

“And what do you think of the murder?”
“Of the murder of poor Mademoiselle Stangerson?"

and in the line, "...enormous head-lines announcing the murder of Mademoiselle Stangerson...".

The French version uses the term l'assassin, which is translated as murderer for reasons unknown, but which is equally inaccurate.

Another weird thing was in the repeated use of the phrase: Bête du bon Dieu! which means literally 'beast of good god'. I have no idea what this meant. In some places it's explicitly used to represent a cat, but at other times I had no idea what they Leroux was talking about. Maybe it always meant the cat, but then why not translate the phrase. It means nothing otherwise.

The inverse of this is where a phrase simply wasn't translated such as in this case: "...poste restante letter...". Maybe that French phrase was in use in England at the time this was translated, but it seemed weird.

At another point I read the following, which is part of a supposed transcript of the questioning of Mademoiselle Stangerson after she recovered from her head wound, hence the initials Q and A:

Q. Excuse me, mademoiselle, if you will allow me, I will ask you some questions and you will answer them. That will fatigue you less than making a long recital.
A. Do so, monsieur.
Q. What did you do on that day? - I want you to be as minute and precise as possible.

So immediately after he announces that he doesn't want to fatigue her by having her recite long answers, he demands that she recite a long, detailed answer! Poorly written.

Here's a choice snippet"

“Do you often eat here?”
“Sometimes.”

He sometimes eats there often?

So in short, I can't recommend this. Had it been written better, and subsequently translated better, it would have made a difference, but what this book needs is a really ruthless editor to turn it into a short story which is all it merits once the padding is removed.

Poppy the Proud by Emlyn Chand

Title: Poppy the Proud
Author: Emlyn Chand
Publisher: Evolved Publishing
Rating: WORTHY!

Illustrated brilliantly Sarah Shaw.

I reviewed Vicky Finds a Valentine by this author (a little late, I'm afraid!) and liked it, and so it was fun to find another of her that I also liked. Sarah Shaw's artwork in this is truly outstanding, way beyond what you'd normally find in a children's book, which begs the question why? I know children are somewhat less demanding (or perhaps more accurately, more understanding) than adults, but that's no reason to short the short guys!

So what's going on here then? Well, Poppy is someone you have doubtlessly run across in your life - although hopefully not while maneuvering farm machinery. It's someone who struts around thinking they own the place, looking proud and loud, disdainful of everyone. Pea-birds aren't actually like this of course, especially the females. They're charming and very personable, and any one of them will tell you how affronted they feel by our attitude towards them, but just as people have variations in their behaviors, so too do pea-birds, both cocks and hens, and I'm sure there are one or two who fit the bill, and for whom we foot the bill.

One of these is Poppy, who is so focused on his own appearance that he can't see anything but himself - until, that is, a white pea-bird shows up and begins drawing all the attention away from Poppy. Poppy's response is rather like the tango between the USA and the USSR during the cold war - each side trying to one-up the other until things are completely out of control. In this case, however, it's only Poppy who is behaving badly, trying to pimp himself out in ever more ridiculous get-ups in order to revive his get-up and go, and to try and draw attention away from his supposed rival.

That kind of thing is doomed to failure as I'm sure you know, and Poppy has to go through some serious embarrassment before he starts to realize he's no longer a peacock but an ass - and in a one horse race, too; however, he's not a bird brain after all. Poppy learns from his mistakes and ends up with something much better than a fine suit of clothes - something to be really and truly proud of: a new friend! I recommend this book. And do visit the author's and the illustrator's web sites for a look around. Both of them are charming. Emlyn Chand writes more than children's books, and Sarah Shaw's versatility and skill in art is quite remarkable.

Porcupette Finds a Family by Vanita Oelschlager

Title: Porcupette Finds a Family
Author: Vanita Oelschlager
Publisher: Vanita Books
Rating: WORTHY!

Illustrated by Mike Blanc.

Contrary to what might be a popular perception, porcupines are rodents (the third largest after the capybara and the beaver) which aren't confined to North America. They also exist in southern Europe, Africa, India and elsewhere.

This is an intelligently-constructed story which is aimed at helping adopted children to understand that though they were not born into their family, it doesn't mean they're not family, and it doesn't mean that they're not loved as family. Employing the prickly porcupine as a teaching-tool is an inspired idea!

In the story, Porcupette's mom disappears one night while out searching for food, and poor Porcupette is left without a family. After giving up waiting for mom to return, Porcupette sets out in search of her one wintry day. Unable to discover what happened to her, he ends up adopted by a bear family after sneaking into their warn den to escape the chilly night air.

Porcupette proves to be as prickly in personality as his growing protective coat renders him in reality, and he begins inadvertently risking precipitation the very thing he fears - rejection by his adoptive family. Tension spikes and it becomes more than he can bear, so he decides to leave home once again in search of happiness and family.

What he didn’t expect is the behavior of momma bear and her two cubs, and so he learns a useful lesson and finds a family he can call home. I think this is a cute story about round holes and square quills, and useful as a teaching tool. It strikes me that this is not only of utility if you have an adopted child, but also if you want your children to learn about adoption and how it works, to give them a greater understanding of the children they may meet.

Even in nature, one species has been known to adopt another. There's a show on Netflix: Animal Odd Couples, which amply demonstrates this: the goat leading the blind horse, the deer which adopted a dog, the dog which adopted a deer, the cheetah and the dog best friend, the duck and the tortoise, the coyote and the lion. These aren't fairy tales, but real life. I'm sure you can find a score of them on You Tube.

I recommend this book.

Knees: The mixed up world of a boy with dyslexia by Vanita Oelschlager

Title: Knees: The mixed up world of a boy with dyslexia
Author: Vanita Oelschlager
Publisher: Vanita Books
Rating: WARTY!

Illustrated by Joe Rossi.

Knees is a young children's book about dyslexia, an often misunderstood condition which affects how a child perceives the written word. It can cause problems other than the ability to read text, and so it’s important to understand the condition, and how it can be helped. Normally that would be sufficient for me to rate this book positively, but I had some issues with it as I’ll point out in this review. Having dyslexia does not meet the sufferer is dumb, or lazy and somehow deficient.

In this story, young Louis has dyslexia and finds it annoying, frustrating, and debilitating. This book looks at the different ways it can present itself, all seemingly aimed at tripping up Louis in his everyday school activities.

In the course of following Louis through his day, we learn to understand what's going on, and how to deal with it. It’s not the end of the world. It is an interesting way-station on his way through the world: a challenge to be met, tackled, and overcome, thereby building confidence not just in his ability to read, but also in his ability to successfully face challenges without giving up.

The most important thing Louis learns is that he's not alone - neither in his condition, nor in finding help for it. He also learns that many other people have experienced these same difficulties and overcome them. Some of these people are well-known, and may surprise you. Unfortunately I was not able to independently confirm that any of the people depicted in the sample images on my blog (Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, John F Kennedy, George Washington) actually were dyslexic. Wikipiedia doesn't mention either 'dyslexia' or 'dyslexic' on any of their pages, so I can't tell if it's merely an urban legend which the author is passing on, or if all four of them were, in fact, sufferers.

My biggest disappointment was in the conclusion which the book drew, which seemed to me to be poorly arrived at. It seems to suggest that although he was not academically outstanding, Louis could excel at sports, namely basketball. That seemed to me to be entirely the wrong way to go in this particular book.

Not that there's a problem with sports! Exercise is, after all, vitally important and does more than keep your muscles toned. It can also help brain function, which certainly wouldn’t harm someone in Louis's situation, but in a way it felt like a cop-out - like poor Louis was being told that since he was struggling with academic work, take the easy way out and play a sport. Maybe you'll get a scholarship. I'm sure this isn't what the author intended, but it's still there.

It’s for this reason that I can’t recommend this particular one. Maybe you'll see it differently, and I confess that I was torn about how to rate this. For me, though, playing the basketball card felt like too much of a cop-out, and it seemed to contradict what had come before.

By all means, if a child is good at a sport, let them go for it, but education is and should be primarily about academic excellence. Tossing sport into the pot in this way seemed to create a dichotomy - like it's one or the other. It isn’t, and many athletes have handsomely demonstrated this by demonstrating academic achievement, as have many academics in showing sporting success.

I'm glad that sports was mentioned, but saddened that it seemed like this was offered rather like it was Louis's ticket to success, which meant his academic performance wasn't so important after all. I tend to rate children's books positively because the ones I choose to read and review offer something to be thrilled with, but I can’t do that in this case because I felt it sends the wrong message - or at least risks sending the wrong one. You are welcome to disagree!

Pigtastic! by Scott Gordon

DOCTYPE html>

Title: Pigtastic!
Author: Scott Gordon
Publisher: Amazon
Rating: WORTHY!

Scott Gordon is a children's author who is well known for porking his nose into other people's funny business, so it's hardly surprising he's come out with this story of a friendly pig in a poking-fun kind of story - and right now 9as of this posting) it's free on Amazon in ebook form.

Pigs are actually adorable as piglets. They're hilarious and play like puppies. Pigs are smart animals, too - very similar in intelligence to dogs, but they're nowhere near as domesticated, so I wouldn't recommend one as a pet, even though, when given a chance, there are quite clean animals, too. I might make an exception for the one featured here, who looks like a pig who'd be fun to hang with.

The moral here is not to judge by appearances. Although our friend looks like he might be a bit odd, and his nose is rather peculiar by our standards, that's no reason to turn your own nose up at the little guy. I think he (or maybe she!) is probably very su-wee-t.

How can you not like someone with lots of energy, and who is also into exercise and fun? As you skate through life hoping not to become board (or is it bored?) you might want to consider the serious advice and take a page or two out of the play-book offered here. It's not sty-in-the-sky, you know!

Scott Gordon once again brings craziness and 3-D effect art to his pages in a simple, but bright and colorful story of fun, friendship and taking people for who they are. I think that's a good pork-trait to paint. Or is it a pig-ture?

Eggtastic! by Scott Gordon

DOCTYPE html>

Title: Eggtastic!
Author: Scott Gordon
Publisher: Amazon
Rating: WORTHY!

I’m afraid I’m a bit of a bunny-come-lately with this, since Easter has passed already, but I’ve made a habit of that this year, so why not? Besides, there’s a good excuse for it (as I shall reveal shortly), and today is actually “tastic” day, in case you're not a fan. I’m posting two tastic reviews and since this book is free on Amazon (in ebook form) as of this posting, it’s crazy not to hop over there and avail yourself of the opportunity. Yes, I’m egging you on. Just don’t rabbit on about it.

Scott Gordon is completely nuts of course, and I’ve had the pleasure of sharing the insanity in several of his books over the last few months. This one describes the extreme effort which the Easter bunny has to put out in order for everyone to get their treat with eggs-act timing. Come on – you didn’t think these things happen by accident, did you? You know the hens are too chicken to do this work.

So yeah, it’s all down to the bunny, but the truth is that it’s not called a “lag” omorph for nothing. The bunny tends to lag awfully when it comes to industry, and ends up morphing himself into a couch potato, so he’s happy to get all the assistance he can. He really doesn’t care whence it comes.

That said, he does give good advice, even if he doesn’t follow it himself. You can definitely benefit from the advice – exercise, hard work, and inventiveness will definitely get you far in life. It will keep you healthy and garner you admirers, so what’s not to love – especially since you don’t even have to shell out for the book right now!

I recommend the story for the colorful “3-D effect” characters, the perkiness of the story, the good advice and the fun of the thing. Plus there's a little surprise at the end. It's not exactly an Easter egg, but don't let that slow you down!

Cassidy's Guide to Everyday Etiquette (and Obfuscation) by Sue Stauffacher

DOCTYPE html>

Title: Cassidy's Guide to Everyday Etiquette (and Obfuscation)
Author: Sue Stauffacher
Publisher: Random House
Rating: WORTHY!

DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

This book was hilarious and I recommend it whole-heartedly. Yes, there was a more-than-minor character named Jack Taylor, which would normally cause me to jack this in, but he wasn't the main character so I was willing, in this one instance, to tolerate him in the small doses where he was present. I loved Cassidy's attitude to life, and her relationship with her sister.

The story here is that Cassidy's great grandmother has died and in her will she condemned (that's what it feels like to Cassidy) the poor girl to attend etiquette school two days a week during one month of her summer holiday. Cassidy bristles and rebels at this.

This story went from joy to joy. I completely adored the author's tone and voice - even though it was first person. Normally that's a voice I don't appreciate, but once in a while an author makes it work, and this is a sterling example of how to do it. The text is full of sly assessments, and astute and amusing remarks such as this observation from Cassidy: "I knew better than to say anything about the value of my time. Adults and kids have never seen eye to eye on that subject."

I don't know what it was, but Cassidy won me over from the off, and she kept on winning me over, although I have to admit, Livvy ran her a close thing. Cassidy was perhaps a bit more mature than you'd expect for her age, but I was willing to forgive her that in the same way I forgave Bill Watterson for the same thing in his totally awesome Calvin and Hobbes cartoons.

Cassidy is a smart, adventurous, curious, and self-possessed girl of eleven who is fearless and confident. She's not a bad person by any means, but her aggressive approach to life tends to land her in water that's decidedly, shall I say, too temperature-challenged for her taste? You can imagine then, the difficulties inherent in any attempt to teach her etiquette. It's precisely this ocean of endeavor upon which the author has chosen to launch Cassidy Corcoran.

Here's another joyous quotation: "Miss Melton-Mowry decided to ignore me. It's a normal developmental stage for every one of my teachers." And another from a conversation Cassidy has with another attendee of the etiquette class when they discover they have an acquaintance in common:

"What's the polite-conversation word for smart aleck?"
"High energy...original mind...future politician?" I replied, quoting my report cards from memory.

And one more for good measure:

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Bean."
"And you, Cassidy. Your reputation precedes you."
"That's usually how it works."

I'm not going to tell you how this goes, because it's a journey that you have to take for yourself - with Cassidy as your guide. Be prepared for a strenuous outing, though: it goes from height to height, but it's awesome terrain. I am totally on board with this and looking out for other books by this author now.

Salad Anniversary by Machi Tawara

DOCTYPE html>

Title: Salad Anniversary
Author: Machi Tawara
Publisher: Steerforth
Rating: WARTY!

Translated by Juliet Winters Carpenter.

DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

Machi Tawara is a young Japanese poet who single-handedy revived the ancient tanka style of poetry in Japan, but for me it just tanked. The poetry left me completely flat. It was nothing uplifting or edifying. It wasn't educational or moving. All it consists of is Tawara pining over a lost love - which she personally never had to begin with - or talking about her everyday activities which frankly, was boring.

For this she became a superstar poet in Japan, selling some two to three million copies of the book. I guess you had to be there. What appeals to the Japanese isn't necessarily what appeals to we westerners, nor vice-versa, and while I am sure that Juliet Winters Carpenter gave the translation her best shot, the fact is that you can't translate Japanese to English and have the idea behind Tanka remain true. If you did, the English version would not be in a series of triplets, as it appears in the iPad translation, or in an apparently random mix of couplets and others as it is in the kindle, but printed vertically down the page, which in English would be a tough read. Clearly no thought whatsoever has been expended on the ebook versions.

Salad Anniversary begins with two blank pages in the iPad version, and the title with a capital S towards the end of Anniversary in the Kindle version. This tells me that as little thought went into the ebook as went into the print version. Given the rise of ebooks the publisher might want to give some thought to how they offer their wares.

Here's the list of poem titles:

• August Morning
• Baseball Game
• Morning Necktie
• I Am the Wind
• Summertime Ship
• Wake-up Call
• Hashimoto High School
• Pretending to Wait for Someone
• Salad Anniversary
• Twilight Alley
• My Bisymmetrical Self
• So, Good Luck
• Jazz Concert
• Backstreet Cat
• Always American

You can see from this alone that there's nothing Earth-shattering on offer, but this would have been fine had what was offered actually delivered something of value. For me, it didn't. Here are some short unconnected samples so you can judge a little bit, at least, for yourself. Note that these are taken out of context, but I saw very little flowing from one triplet to the next anyway.

On Kujukuri Beach
taking picture after picture
I may only throw away

Sunday morning
in sandals, we set off together
to shop for bread and beer

I boil three chestnuts
to make an autumn for one-
remembering the far-off sea, and you

Buy myself a pair of slippers
yellow as spring flowers
now that I love here

There are three problems. First of all, the poetry doesn't speak or call out to me. Instead, it whines with self pity. I kept wondering if the author rent her clothing or wore sackcloth and put ashes in her hair before she sat down to write it. Second, it's impossible, as I mentioned earlier, to properly represent the poetry in English in the way it would appear in Japanese. Third, you cannot duplicate the cadence adequately in English and still maintain the wording or meaning which the original author intended.

I have to wonder if the choice to migrate this to English was truly done with an honest desire to share some potentially interesting Asian poetry with the west, or if it was simply done because the author scored a hit in Japan and there was potentially money to be made in the west? Either way I can't recommend this.

Carrot by Vanita Oelschlager

Rating: WORTHY!

From an advance review copy for which I thank the publisher.

Yes, it's Vanita Oelschlager again, with Kristin Blackwood at the richly colorful paint brush and today's topic is Carrot is a cat. I'll bet you'll never guess what color she is.... She has a great life, inexplicably chasing mice, but also tending to one who has the flu. She loves her home and family, and the opportunities for a fish dinner at Finney's(!). I had a cat of the same hue, named Ginger. Still no idea what color she was?

One day Carrot sees a luxury yacht (probably pronounced Mangrove-Throat-Wobbler - and if you get that reference, you probably like flying circuses....) cruise by, and espies a gorgeous white fluffy cat on the deck playing with a toy mouse. The cat's name is Buffy. No word of whether she fights vampire cats.

This sight is a bit too much for Carrot, who now finds her days occupied not with having fun and tasty snacks, but with thoughts of what her own life would be like if she had the opportunities and life-style enjoyed by Buffy. She daydreams her time away in idle imaginings.

Being a practical cat - a practi-cat, no doubt - Carrot soon realizes the futility of her day-dreaming. She begins to understand that not all is not well in Buffy-world. Buffy doesn't have a host of family legs to rub against. She doesn't have real organic USDA grade A-1 mice to chase, nor does she have yummy snacks from Finney's. She leads a rather sad and isolated life, surrounded by fish but none to eat.

Carrot rather quickly and quite fully realizes what she would lose, and she re-values her own life, deciding that the catnip isn't always greener on the other side of the mouse. This is a great story for kids who might sometimes wish they had been born someone else, or who might look enviously at the life others lead. We cannot always control what happens to us, but we can control how we feel about it and how much we take or lose out of each day that we have. Worthy of a look for cat lovers and their children!

Paris Hop! by Margie Blumberg

Title: Paris Hop!
Author: Margie Blumberg
Publisher: MB Publishing
Rating: WORTHY!

DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

Illustrated à la mode by Renee Andriani.

Having visited Paris, I can testify to what a fun and interesting city it is. I've been on the world's largest lightning conductor - La Tour Eiffel - during a thunderstorm which was a fun experience. I can also testify to what a magnificent view it is from there, even partially obscured by rain. Paris isn't - or wasn't, when I was there - a city full of looming and obstructive skyscrapers, so you can on a clear day, as they say, see for miles.

Grandma Goldie and her granddaughter, Aimee (yes, Aimee, you know who you are!), are interested in seeing how the city looks at sunset, and they plan on heading over to the tower in good time to see it. The problem is that there is so much else to see, so many distractions, so many sights and sounds and smells which keep on getting in their way. For the Français-challenged, there is a glossary of French words used in the text.

First there's the boulangerie where croissants, éclairs, and baguettes lure them in. Then there are the street artists and the Punch and Judy puppet show. The Louvre of course, is not to be missed, but having only one day in Paris, I rather suspect at this rate it will take them far longer than one hour to get to the tower!

I also suspect the visit to the dress shop might have been put on the back burner, but then I am not a fashion fetishist, so perhaps it's not for me to judge! La Place de la Concorde definitely beats the dress shop in my book, but it's one more delay.

I like that the itinerary actually makes sense - they're heading west along the Seine pretty much - rather than being an insane random walk. It really doesn't matter that much in a children's book like this but it does satisfy my anal instinct for verisimilitude. There! I knew I'd get a chance to work that word into a review sooner or later! Next up, rectitudinous. If that's even a word!

Yes, all exactitude is lost, in a rectitudinous manner, when the next stop comes up, since they've evidently taken a river boat to the Notre Dame which is pretty much returning them the entire distance back east which they've just traveled west! Our Lady is gorgeous though, so maybe it was worth the effort.

What is without-a-doubt worth the effort in this story is Renee Andriani's art work. I don't think I've seen anything by him before, and while the work is merely functional in some parts of the story, there are illustrations in this, particularly vis-à-vis the river boat trip, which are, mes amis, très belle. You can see a sample on my blog. The colors are quite breath-taking. I recommend this hop across the pond.

Snow White and the 77 Dwarfs by Davide Cali

Title: Snow White and the 77 Dwarfs
Author: Davide Cali
Publisher: Tundra
Rating: WORTHY!

DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

Entertainingly Illustrated by Raphaelle Barbanegre (no website found).

This children's book is hilarious - and a lot more realistic than Disney would have it, let's face it! Snow is on the run from the evil witch, and as in the traditional story, takes up with a bunch of dwarfs (not dwarves - perish the thought!). The problem is that there are not seven of them, but seventy-seven!

Snow is, of course happy to pitch in and do her share, but her share is way out of proportion to her keep, methinks. She has to prepare 77 breakfasts, and then and equal number of lunches for the dwarfs to take to work. She has to prepare 77 evening meals, and wash 77 platters and 77 mugs (of interesting variety) afterwards.

"So what?" you might ask, any competent kitchen employee can breeze through that! But then she has to brush 77 beards and read 77 different bedtime stories. Well Snow isn't dumb, and she is looking increasingly frazzled, so it isn't long before she decides to vacate the premises rather smartly and take her chances with the evil witch. Surely that has to be better than this, right?

There's a twist to the end of this story and it probably isn't one you think it is - not if you think like me at any rate. I loved this story. It was highly original despite it being an old, old story, and rib-ticklingly told. This is Snow White for the feminist era, a ship Disney is only just learning to climb aboard, and I recommend it.

Rupert's Parchment by Eileen Cameron

Title: Rupert's Parchment: Story of Magna Carta
Author: Eileen Cameron
Publisher: Mascot Books
Rating: WORTHY!

DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

This is an amazing story for children - not your usual bland stuff. It's a true story in a way, but of course it's fictionalized since no one actually recorded whose sons were there at Runnymede. Maybe it actually happened this way?

To begin with, I found myself wondering how many American kids would like this story. Could they relate to it? But then I found myself wondering how many English kids could. Finally I found myself realizing that if they were anything like me when I was a kid, they'd more than likely love it because it involves a true story, and kings and knights, and nobles and barons, and the secrets of the trade, so what's not to love - and learn from?

Rupert is the son of the parchment-maker (don't worry, it's all explained in this book). He's happy to help out and learn an important trade which will see him set up for later life. On the day soldiers show-up and deprive his dad of their hand-cart, some monks also show-up asking for the very best parchment Rupert's dad can supply. What's going on?

Rupert has no idea. His family is happy to make it from one day to the next. They're really not up on politics and royal intrigue. He is up for adventure, however, so he's thrilled to get the chance to travel along with the scribes to Runnymede where a bunch of irate noblemen are about to harangue the only English king to be named after a toilet, about injustices.

Rupert gets to see (and spy) first hand on the activities and to celebrate the resulting Great Charter which laid the foundations of a constitution for the nation, from which we could view distantly, had we the foresight, the earliest beginnings of a significant loss of royal power in Britain.

Time Out of Time 2 by Maureen Doyle McQuerry

Title: Time Out of Time 2
Author: Maureen Doyle McQuerry
Publisher: Abrams Books
Rating: WARTY!

DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

This novel was presented in an unusual fashion in Adobe Digital Editions - it's all double paged meaning that you need to have the app full screen in order to have the text large enough to read comfortably. There was an inexplicable prologue which I skipped. My position is that if the author doesn't think it important enough to include in the main body of the novel, then I don't think it important enough to expend time upon. I've never regretted skipping a prologue. I got about a quarter the way through the novel and had to give up on it.

The book consists of 337 pages of widely-spaced text, so it's not a long novel - nor is it very kind to trees formatted in that way. I'd recommend the ebook version if you're going to buy this. The last chapter is amusingly titled "A New Chapter". I had forgotten that the blurb I read clearly stated that this was book two, so I started this thinking it was book one. There is nothing in the book to indicate it's book two until you start reading it, when it becomes evident that the story is already well under way

This begs the question as to why a prologue was even thought necessary - wasn't book one the prologue?! There's no indication anywhere as to what book it is or even if it's part of a series, but it quite evidently is. So note that I am not a fan of series, and I am coming into this having missed book one. This obvious affects my view of the story.

That said, I found it not less confusing the more I read but more confusing! I quickly lost interest because I really didn't understand the point of people's actions. Maybe if I had read book one it might have been better, but I doubt it because if book one had been written like this, then I never would have wanted to progress to book two anyway!

We begin with Jessica, who is evidently in a magical market. She had gone there with her friend Peter, and with Sarah and Timothy Maxwell to get some special ointment for their mother. Why it took four of them goes unexplained, but they'd had a run-in with the Animal Tamer - a wizard of some sort - who had turned Sarah into a "white ermine". That's a tautology; ermines are by definition white. They're actually white stoats - stoats with a winter coat. Peter had then caused a distraction allowing Jessica to free Sarah (in her stoat form) and the Animal Tamer had reacted by turning Peter into a weasel!

How do you tell the difference between a weasel and stoat? Well here's the secret: A weasel is so weasely distinguished, and a stoat is stoatally different. Got that? Okay, let's move along. Actually, I lied. Peter was turned into a ferret, but if I'd said that, I couldn't have told that joke. I'm glad you ferreted the truth out of me though.

Now Jessica's being attacked by a goose, which gooses her from behind. It certainly isn't her day, but fortunately, her aunt Rosemary - or is it Cerridwyn? - is close at hand. Like I said, chapter one takes off like it's a sequel, but with no scene setting as it goes, so coming into it as I did, it was moderately confusing to begin with. Superficially, it felt like we were hitting the ground running, but there was more mis-hitting and stumbling than anything else.

The worst thing about the novel though was how derivative it is. When I read the blurb I thought it odd that these kids were going to Scotland to look for Irish treasures, but I love Scotland and so I thought it definitely worth a look, but it took forever to get to that point. In fact, in the portion I read, which was about the first third, it didn't happen, which was a big yawn for me.

Instead, there was a huge battle in which the very trees are being awoken just like in Lord of the Rings, and they're fighting foul creatures coming from underground - just like in Lord of the Rings, except that in this case it isn't Orcs, but a giant toad.

The characters seemed unfortunately reminiscent of Harry Potter in some regards. There was even a worm-tail character who was a rat-catcher. I don't know if that was intentionally humorous or was merely ironic. He couldn't turn himself into a rat, but he was turned into one by the Animal Tamer.

The Animal Tamer's real name is Balor, but just like with Lord Voldemort - who actually never was a lord - no one likes to use his real name. We got to spend very little time with the "ermine" and with the ferret, following them on their non-adventures. The ferret, which is held in a burlap bag, tries to escape through a hole the "size of a quarter", which would be impossible unless quarters in this land are significantly larger than American quarters, or maybe the sack stretched. Hobs - which are what male ferrets are called, are larger than jills (the female ferret) so I assumed Peter was a hob, but who knows?

After this it became really confusing with one new character after another showing up, and there was fighting and blood and gore, and it simply wasn't interesting or entertaining to me. I had no investment in any of the characters and really didn't care whether the market had a king or not. There was the recovery of a valuable piece of adornment, rather like the diadem in Harry Potter, except that this was a necklace and was not sought so it could be destroyed.

One thing that is consistent in this kind of a novel is that some ill-prepared kid is thrust into a position of crucial importance and wins out, whereas all the powerful people - the wizards or whatever, steer clear of the danger and do precious little but speak in riddles. It's nonsensical and offers no sort of decent foundation upon which to build a solid story. For me, this is why this one failed to get there, and why I can't recommend it. There is no 'there' there. Your mileage may differ.

A Crown for Cold Silver by Alex Marshall

Title: A Crown for Cold Silver
Author: Alex Marshall (no website found)
Publisher: Hachette Book Group
Rating: WARTY!

DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

Erratum:
Page 26 (in ADE - no page numbers in the book itself!) "...bad at that road is" Should be "...bad as that road is"

This is your standard fantasy, and it runs to some six hundred pages of very dense text, so I was prepared for a hard slog, but in Adobe Digital Reader although it shows itself to be 606 pages, when I clicked from one page to another, for example from page 290, the next page showed as page 293, so I have no idea what's going on there. Clearly it's not six hundred pages. It just feels like it is.

The novel is written rather oddly. It starts ought as though it's an eastern fable, with Chinese or Korean or Japanese influences (it's hard to tell from the wild mix of names used), but these are also mixed in with more western names, so it's a bit of a mess, like the author couldn't decide which fictional culture he wished to be influenced by which real culture, or maybe he wanted it mixed on purpose, but it was too jarring for my taste.

Also some of the phrasing he used was odd, such as "more princesses at the ceremony than stars in the sky". This made no sense since the number of stars in the sky is traditionally used to indicate a massive number. Clearly there were not that many princesses. Obviously the author is trying to indicate a very large number, but this felt like a really poor choice of metaphor and flies in the face of traditional usage. Sometimes it's good to break a mold or two, but in this case it simply did not fit with the culture we were supposed to be in.

The story was very rambling, and I couldn't get into it. It went off at tangents, and it jumped around from one thing to another, and one character to another before you ever get a real chance to get to know them, and to understand or empathize with them. Consequently they all remained strangers to me, and I had no real interest in what they were trying to do, what they thought or felt, or what became of them.

Some chapters, like chapter four, for example, begin as though they're written in first person, whereas they're not. In this case, the chapter began:

Goatsdamn, but grandfather was a pain in the arse. Or rather, the small of the back.

Instead of beginning:

"Goatsdamn, but grandfather was a pain in the arse. Or rather, the small of the back," thought Sullen.

This didn't help me to feel comfortable with the novel, and the apparent random use of terms made for confusion about what the writer was trying to do, or say. In the example just given, you see the use of the English word "arse', whereas in and earlier phrase, the term "ass-end" was employed rather than "arse-end", and also the phrase "punk-ass' which seemed completely out of place, as did the phrase "in cahoots" used elsewhere. This kind of thing made little sense to me, and contributed to my sense of this novel being a mess.

This problem went further than that though, because although while it appeared to be set in a country reminiscent of one of Earth's Far East nations, the language, terminology and speech patterns were very much western, so they failed to fit the ethos. This was jarring and kept reminding me that I was reading a story. I could never become immersed in it because of this.

I gave up on the novel at chapter five, where in rapid succession I got the names Duchess Din, Maroto, Purna, Cobalt, Diggleby, Hassan, and Zosia. It felt more like United Nations than ever it did ancient culture and I couldn't take it seriously any more. I cannot recommend this novel.

Darwin A Graphic Biography by Eugene Byrne

Title: Darwin A Graphic Biography
Author: Eugene Byrne
Publisher: Smithsonian Books
Rating: WORTHY!

Very neatly illustrated by Simon Gurr.

This is a remarkable and charming graphic novel briefly explaining how Charles Darwin arrived at the Theory of Evolution, and telling us something about his life. It’s told accurately and to a significant depth, without going into way too much detail, and it’s told with a great sense of humor.

As a young man, Darwin was rather rudderless. He was pointed in the direction of family tradition (for men) which was medicine, but he couldn’t stand the sight of blood and had to leave the OR during one surgery he was supposed to be witnessing. Of course, medicine was far more of an experimental – if not just plain mental – endeavor back in his day than it is now, and far more bloody and painful (there was no anesthesia). Perhaps Darwin was wise in deciding that he would much rather spend his time taking nature rambles and looking at beetles, plants, and life in tidal pools.

His father determined that he should become a clergyman in default of a medical career, and though he was religious, Darwin wasn’t interested in that, either. He did manage, with some help, to complete his schooling, but before he had a chance to lose his way in the church, he had the opportunity to take a sea voyage on a ship called The Beagle. The idea was to finish mapping South America’s coast line and estuaries for trade and naval use.

The voyage was supposed to last two years, but Darwin was gone for five, and when he returned, he was quite a celebrity in scientific circles, having documented geology and life, both plant an animal, extensively, and sent back hundreds and hundreds of specimens, some of them live, along with letters and reports. One of these live specimens was a giant tortoise from the Galapagos, which ended up in Australia and died only in 2006.

The idea of organisms changing over time is inescapable to anyone with eyes and a decent amount of smarts. It’s evident even in living species, and it’s blatantly evident from the fossil record, but because of the power of the church, it was very much a taboo subject. Nonetheless, the evidence forced it into the light, and Darwin wasn’t the first person ever to think about this. He was the first to marshal so great a wealth of evidence, supported by a working, testable explanation, that the subject could no longer be ignored by the populace, dismissed by scientists, or repressed by religious authorities.

This book describes his life leading up to the Beagle voyage, the voyage itself, and the years of hesitation and agonizing over the theory before he finally published his land-mark work late in 1859. Darwin’s On the Origin of Species… was a best-seller, and was read not only by scientists and the wealthy, but by ordinary people for whom it was an expensive purchase. When he learned that everyday people were reading it, Darwin even produced a “mass market” version – using smaller print so it cost less to produce and buy.

This graphic novel explains lucidly and accurately what the theory was all about, and details some of the extensive evidence that supports it. It also cuts the legs out from under a lot of the lies which young-Earth creationists have been forced to ‘create’ in their attempts at character-assassination of Darwin over the years, as they realized their attempts at ‘science’ have failed dismally and repeatedly. I thoroughly recommend this book.

Postcards From a War by Vanita Oelschlager

Rating: WORTHY!

From an advance review copy for which I thank the publisher.

I've become a big fan of Vanita Oeschlanger. She writes unusual and charming children's books, all of which seem to have some purpose other than simply being something pretty to look at and something to read to your kids. This story is slightly misnamed since it takes place immediately after a war, but it's based on a real person who went abroad and sent home illustrated letters for his kids, and that's used as a framework to write an assuring and realistic story for a modern kid whose mom has gone abroad to a war zone.

It's wonderfully written in clear and unequivocal language and it pulls no punches, and nicely illustrated by Wilfrid Bauknight. It speaks intelligently and warmly, and it offers as much reassurance as something as uncertain as this situation can give. Col. Wilfrid Bauknight went to the Philippines to rebuild bridges and so on after Japan had surrendered. He was gone for only six months, but naturally his wife and children missed him, so he wrote back to them often and created hilarious drawings to illustrate his journey and activities.

Depicted here as a grandfather talking to his grandson about war and family absences, we get the story of his own life away as he relates it to his grandson's fears and difficulties. I love the way the grandfather speaks of his grandson's generation as being tasked to find better ways to resolve difficulties than war. I share that sentiment, but let's get started now, let's not wait for the kids to grow up and get to it!

Apart from the great illustrations, one of the finest things about this book is that all net profits benefit the Fisher House foundation (the link is on my blog), which is dedicated to meeting the needs of the nation's service members, veterans and their families. I recommend this story.