Sunday, July 26, 2020

The Pout Pout Fish by Deborah Diesen, Dan Hanna


Rating: WARTY!

This was one of those thick-paged books for very young children and the theme is of the 'turn that frown upside down' variety, which I've never thought was a particularly charmed idea. While forcing yourself to smile does have a positive effect in mood lifting, you can't fix depression by chanting happy rhymes and demanding people cheer up. That's like saying 'find something new' will fix the economy.

This book seemed like it was too ready to claim 'Mission Accomplished' when the mission had barely begun and was ill-conceived to begin with. Plus there was far too much uninvited infringement of personal space so I consider this to be poorly thought-out. It did not help that the fish was being condemned for how it looked. That was a poorly considered idea right there.

The idea is that this fish has a perpetual pout and it's only fixed when the fish has an unfortunate accident and is turned upside down - like this has cured the frowning 'problem'. It just felt wrong from the start and wasn't appropriate in my opinion. I'm not saying that the basic idea was a bad one in itself, but the execution was completely wrong, and I can't commend this as a worthy read - especially not at sixteen bucks for this little thing.


First Day Jitters by Julie Danneberg, Judy Love


Rating: WORTHY!

This was a fun book about the first day at school, and it had an amusing twist at the end which I really appreciated. It follows the usual route of not wanting to go, resistance, protest, and eventual acceptance. The illustrations by Love are fun and the writing fine. It's priced about eight bucks. I commend this as a worthy read.


Welcome to Camp Coral by David Lewman, Heather Martinez


Rating: WORTHY!

This is definitely for fans of Spongebob, which I'm really not. I don't dislike the show per se, and I've seen a few episodes, but it's not something I'm interested in. This was well-written by Lewman, and nicely illustrated by Martinez.

This however is the perfect introduction for young fans, casting your mind back to Spongebob's early days when he went to camp and curiously met everyone he would associate with in later life, including Patrick Star, Sandy Cheeks, Plankton, Squidward Tentacles, Mr Krabs and even Gary the Snail. It was a fun tale for youngsters being just like they are: small format and short, and I commend it as a worthy read. It's not even that expensive to buy at about five bucks.


Welcome to the Party by Gabrielle Union, Ashley Evans


Rating: WARTY!

Yes, it's that Gabrielle Union and while I do not dislike her and I do feel bad for what she evidently went through on the America's Got Talent set (a show I do not watch), you would think an experience involving racism like that would sensitize her to exclusionary practices, yet here we have a book that ain't cheap (almost twenty dollars a pop) about welcoming a new child into the world, which could be taken to suggest that white folk don't welcome children of color, since there's not a white person to be found between these covers.

That's just as racist as whatever it was she experienced on AGT. You can't on the one hand complain about racism in Hollywood and then practice it in a book you're responsible for.

You know what's good for the goose is worth taking a gander, and to complain about racist behavior on the one hand and indulge in it with the other isn't something I can support. Union didn't do the drawings; they were done by Evans, an artist of color, so to speak, so the drawings are on her, but I can't believe that Union didn't take a gander at what Evans was drawing; she had to approve these. I don't approve this.


The Serious Goose by Jimmy Kimmel


Rating: WORTHY!

Yes, it's that Jimmy Kimmel. And this isn't too bad of an effort. There's no educational content in it, but I think the book is fun and would be entertaining. The drawings - mostly back and white line drawings with some color - aren't bad at all.

The idea is that this goose is way serious and won't even hint at a smile. After a few pages there's a mirror included on the page for your kid to practice making faces aimed at cracking up the goose. Will it work? I think you know the foregone conclusion, although it's in hardback version and it ain't exactly cheap, but at around $9 as of this review, it's not too bad either. A used version would be cheaper still, and I commend this as an amusing read.


Thursday, July 23, 2020

These Feathered Flames by Alexandra Overy


Rating: WORTHY!

This appears to be the first volume of a series (technically a dilogy, as I discovered later), but I did not know this until I'd finished reading it and it ended on a sort of a cliffhanger. With very few exceptions, I'm not a fan of series since the first volume can only ever be a prologue, and I don't read prologues. Additionally, the other volumes are essentially repeating the same story over and over with a few minor variations. They're boring to me. I respect authors more who bring out new single volumes about different people having different adventures.

That said, this one turned out to be not bad at all. It reminded me in some small ways of my own Femarine, and it kept me engaged. Although there were parts of it that left me yawning a little, for the most part it moved and kept me moving with it. There was a hint here and there of romance, but it was not overdone, and I appreciated that. I found the idea of twin sisters, both fated to have different, but critical futures, quite engaging and the fresh take on the legend of the Firebird proved to be a really good one.

Let me deal with the elephant in the room first: Kindle! It's no revelation to anyone who reads my reviews that I am not a fan at all of Amazon and refuse to publish my books on that platform. I don't like them for a variety of reason, not least of which is the fact that they routinely turn their ebooks into Kindling. The Kindle conversion process will slice and dice anything that's not pretty much plain vanilla text, and even then it's sometimes touch and go as to whether a given book will make it through the process unscathed. This one did not, although it got off lightly.

One oddball thing I noticed, which I've seen before in Kindled books, was that everywhere the letters F and L appeared successively in a word, there was a space between them, so I read, for example, "Asya's hands tightened ref_lexively," and I also read, "warped ref_lections, with points where their images converged." The underscore I've added for clarity indicates where there was a space in the text and it occurred frequently throughout the novel in an assortment of words containing 'fl'. Why Kindle does this I do not know, but I've seen this same thing before in more than one ebook prior to this. Other than that, the text was fine except for the occasional intrusion of the page header into the text itself, such as when I read this about halfway down the screen:

An echoing screech that rattled down to Izaveta's bones.
THESE FEATHERED FLAMES 199
She looked up just in time to see the creature
But these intrusions were quite rare. (I did love that title - just not in the middle of my reading!). This is one reason why I never put page headers in my own novels. Another reason is that I see no point to it, but that's just me!

There was the occasional problem with grammar. We've all been there! The few I noticed were these:
"His gaze were unusually focused when he spoke." Which should read, 'his gaze was', or 'his eyes were'. A common one I've seen in YA books is the confusion of stanch with staunch. I read, "digging the fabric of her shirt into the cut to staunch the blood," which is wrong. The word is 'stanch'. Staunch means something else entirely. This issue was curious because this author with the amazing name of Alexandra Overy, uses the past participle of 'tread' perfectly, where other authors often get that wrong, using 'treaded' instead of 'trod'. At another point I read, "Asya gritted her jaw," but you can't grit your jaw. You can grit your teeth. Gritting teeth means to press or clench teeth together. You cannot therefore grit your jaw. Another curious instance was "trying to grasp on to her fracturing facade of confidence." 'Grasp on' felt wrong. 'Hold on' would have been better, or 'cling to'. I think the author was confusing grasp with grab, but grab wouldn't work there either.

Aside from that, the writing was fine and well done, which I appreciated. There was one oddity which I freely admit is a pet peeve of mine, and which use (or misuse!) seems to be coming more and more common. This is where someone uses a title but instead of saying I am 'so-and-so' they say 'my name is 'so-and-so'. For example, I read in this novel, "My name is Ambassador Täusch." But it really isn't, unless his first name does actually happen to be 'Ambassador'! What he ought to have said was "I'm Ambassador Täusch," but that said, people often misspeak, so maybe this squeaks by as an example of that!

The other issue connected with this was people referring to the queen incorrectly. If Täusch was truly an ambassador, then he really should know that you don't address a queen or a princess as "My lady." The correct approach is to address her initially as 'Your Majesty' and then subsequently use 'Ma'am'. This is British protocol, and both I and the author are British-born ex-pats as it happens. This novel is set in a Russian fantasy land, yet even there, 'Your Majesty' was used (or whatever the Russian equivalent was) when there used to be a queen. 'Your highness' is no longer used in Britain, but it was employed in Russia in imperial times. Not that I have any respect for the hereditary privilege of royalty or wealth, but for the sake of a story I'd use it.

In that regard, and purely from the perspective of story-telling, I found it inexcusable how disrespectful people were to the queen in this novel, and how little reaction she had to this. I know she was a teen and new to the throne, but everyone spoke to her not like she was the queen, but like she was this little girl. it was not only the queen who failed to react to this: no one else ever corrected people or took umbrage at this lack of deference! If felt wrong, and often jarred me out of my suspension of disbelief. Even Castelle, my young queen from Femarine who - the story makes clear - is shamefully lax in matters of propriety and protocol, was moved to comment on such laxity on occasion. Like I said, in real life I don't care about that nonsense, but in a novel like this I would expect someone to call out a person who wasn't respectful to a monarch. This was a relatively minor irritant, so I was willing to let it go for the sake of a good story though.

Now about that! I know it's taken a while to get here, but I'm nothing if not thorough in my reviews! So this story is of twins of royal blood in a fantasy world based on historical Russia. One of the twins, by tradition, is destined to become the Firebird - exacting a toll for the use of magic when said magic is enacted without paying a price (and they don't take American Express!); the other twin is destined to become the queen, succeeding their mother.

In Britain there used to be an exam called the 'eleven plus', which determined if a child went to a vocational school or to what used to be called a grammar school which was intended for the more academically-inclined. The system was not fair because it judged children and determined a future for them at far too early an age, so it was scrapped many years ago, but it seems the author has adopted this scheme for the twins, who at around that age - ten, eleven - were judged magically, in a ceremony which determined where they would end-up. It turned out that Asya would be the Firebird, and Izaveta the princess. They were separated and Asya sent to live with the queen's sister, who had become the Firebird a generation or more before.

When the queen dies unexpectedly early from a 'fever' Asya returns to the palace where her sister is in process of becoming queen. The two no longer know how to behave in each other's company because it's been so long, and they have both changed so much, and neither is properly ready to wield the power they have come into. The story is of their relationship, which I found intriguing, and of each's relationship to the queendom and the future. There are threats to their positions, both of them, because they are so young, and they neither of them know fully who they can trust - not even each other. I found the politics to be engrossing and entertaining - if on occasion annoying. There were times when the sisters acted foolishly, but they were also very young and inexperienced, so I was willing to let that side.

There were times when, if they'd only talked to each other and been honest, they could have averted a lot of the issues they faced. This is a common problem in YA stories, but it wasn't so bad here and again, the girls were young, so this could be explained away. Overall I loved how they interacted and grew into their roles, especially the firebird. I felt this was an amazing and inventive take on a myth, and done very well for the most part, and I commend this as a worthy read. That said I don't have any real interest in pursuing this story any further, because like I said, I'm not a fan of series - even if it's only two volumes, and I'm just not intrigued enough to read on. Your mileage may differ. I hope it does. because it's nice to find a series that really grips. I just don't find that very often.


Making Space by Thich Nhat Hanh


Rating: WARTY!

Having listened to - and quite enjoyed Happiness by this same author, I was very disappointed in this book. It's essentially about making some sort of space or setting aside some corner in your home where you can take time out to meditate or contemplate - a quiet zone, a refuge, or whatever. That's really all there is too it but the book is sort of fluffed up with some other stuff, a good portion of which I skipped because it was so boring and repetitive.

While I understand that positive thinking can indeed improve your outlook and your health to at least a small extent, and can even improve your performance at tasks, this idea that you can change the world with it isn't so valid in my opinion. While a good attitude toward other people can improve relationships, the act of simply wishing well of everyone and wishing them good health and so on isn't going to change the world! if that were possible, it would have already happened. I read an estimate online that somewhere between 200 million and 500 million people meditate worldwide, including some 20 million in the US. Wasn't it the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi who claimed that if 1% of the world meditated it would change the world? That 1% would be just 70 million, so despite having at least three times that many, nothing has changed! In fact, this year it got worse! QED!

It's true to say that meditation can make people feel more compassionate, but it does nothing overall to reduce violence, prejudice, poor social connection, or anything else like that, save maybe giving the practitioners themselves a little peace of mind and perhaps slightly better health. At best it's a selfish pursuit. There's nothing wrong with guarding one's health and adopting a positive outlook, but let's not pretend there's more to it than that.

The same applies to this very short book. If you want a quiet space in your home, then by all means create one. You're in a pretyt poor state if you need a guide to help you do that! Failing the physical space, create one in your own mind where you can isolate yourself at least mentally, and at least for a short while, to center yourself and calm yourself. There's nothing wrong with that and it can offer benefits, but that said, and unlike the other audiobook I read by this author, I do not think this particular book was a worthy read for how little it offered, and so I cannot commend it.


Happiness by Thich Nhat Hanh


Rating: WORTHY!

This is the first of two audiobooks by this author I shall be reviewing. I believe in being centered and calm as much as possible, although there are serious times when I'm tried and stressed over things - and you know, no one seems to care about that. When was the last time you went to a doctor and they asked you about stress in your life? Yet I read online that maybe 75 percent of doctor visits are for problems that can be linked to stress, such as accidents, cancer, heart disease, lung and breathing problems, and suicide. That's why I found this interesting and plan on reading it again. It offers simply ways to be centered and mindful, and to calm one's thoughts.

The books starts out simply and takes the listener step by step through the methods and techniques aimed and removing turmoil from one's mind. The central tenet is to try and live in the moment and not let your mind run away with things that may or may not occur in your future. The book asserts that all of Thich Nhat Hanh's key practices are collected in this one volume, which is quite short, but not criminally so. The useful aim here is to incorporate these practices into your everyday life, so you aren't required to sit in the lotus position and deeply mediate. Instead, you can practice some of these techniques while driving to work, while walking across the parking lot to enter your workplace, or the grocery store, even while waiting in line for the restroom at some busy function!

The author not only discusses what to do, but how to approach what you do with the right attitude to enhance its success. In a world like this one has become this year, when everyone is being tried and tested severely every day, it cannot hurt to find ways to ease our minds, remain calm, and don't sweat it! So I commend this book as a worthy read (or listen, since it was an audiobook!).


Wednesday, July 22, 2020

The Body in the Thames by Susanna Gregory


Rating: WARTY!

Set in the 1664 London of King Charles the second, not long after the British interregnum which came after Charles first who was defeated by Oliver Cromwell's model army, lost his head and Cromwell took over as Britain's Lord Protector. It didn't last. This is the sixth tome in Gregory's Thomas Chaloner series, and I am, with very few exceptions, not a series fan. This is the first Chaloner and the first Gregory book I have read and I do not plan to be back for more having DNF'd this one about a third the way through. The reason? It was boring!

As is entirely predictable with series, nothing gets done. If it did, it would be a novel and not a series. Therefore everything takes forever and the thought of reading any more of Chaloner's bumbling treacle on a frozen mirror pace as he blindly saunters through a murder investigation, really turned my stomach. The book moves with interminably glacial progress, and Chaloner isn't doing anything except stumbling onto clues by pure accident. He's clueless and useless and spends more time whining about people's attitudes and suffering idle threats from fops than ever he does investigating. It's no wonder his boss is so down on him. I kept wanting to kick his ass to get him to move.

The plot, such as it is, is that there are negotiations going on to try and prevent war between the Nederlanders and the British. In the midst of this, a Dutchman is killed - poisoned and thrown into the Thames. It's Thomas's brother-in-law from his previous marriage, and he left a clue for Thomas embroidered into the top of his stockings. Of course, you can't have him say, "Mr X did it" or "My life is in danger because of item Y!" No - he just leaves three cryptic words in Dutch and Thomas is supposed to figure it all out, which he does a piss-poor job of.

Two of the words are New and Gate, and there was a Newgate prison (it was demolished in 1904 after seven hundred years of service!), but by the time I gave up on this, a third of the way in, he still hadn't got his lard ass to the prison to make enquiries. Yawn. I suspect that was a red heeren as ti happens, and new gate referred to something else, but Thomas is too stupid to ask even one Dutch person whether "nieuwe poort" has any special meaning and I reached a point where I could not care less what it meant. The book is tedious and I'm done with it and with its author.


The Graduate by Charles Webb


Rating: WARTY!

This was an audiobook of the novella that gave rise to the 1967 movie of the same name starring Anne Bancroft and Dustin Hoffman. The novella was published in 1963, and it's very much of its time. The USA was still pretty much stuck in the fifties in the early sixties, but even so, there were problems with the writing, for me, and I would have ditched this with a hour still left to listen to if it had not been for the fact that, having seen the movie, I was curious as to how the book ended and what differences there were, so despite knowing I was going to rate this as warty, I listened to the whole thing. The movie followed the book pretty darned closely from start to finish.

The thing is that this could have been a romance or a romantic comedy, but there's too much evil behavior in it to be either. I have a feeling it might well have been rejected by publishers if it had been submitted today. It didn't even do well back when it was originally published, and it only took off at all after the movie came out.

This is the only book I've read by author Charles Webb, and I'm far from convinced he can write female characters. Elaine is so passive and compliant, and doesn't behave like she has any self-respect, so for me she was written poorly and her whole interaction with Ben was so unrealistic. But I'm getting ahead. The story is of Ben who is a college grad fresh home from school, and he's one of the most morose, petulant, moody and angry characters I've read about.

He was really annoying in his childishness and his control-freak behavior. He was letting opportunities to get on with his life slip by - for example in not taking-up this grant he was awarded for grad school. Neither is he looking for a job. At the same time he seeks to control everything around him despite what others, particularly Elaine, might want. he proves time and time again that he really doesn't care what Elaine wants as long as he gets what he wants.

Ben's parents alternately hound him cruelly and spoil him rotten, so I guess it's hardly surprising that he's turned out the way he has. At one point early in the story, Mrs Robinson, the wife of his dad's law partner, corners Ben in an upstairs bedroom and makes it plain that she's available to him sexually if and whenever he wants her. Ben rejects this at first, but soon starts an affair with her. They meet at night in the swanky Taft Hotel and spend the night together, and they do this often. Mrs R leaves early in the morning to go home to make her husband breakfast! How she gets away with this is a mystery until she explains this to Ben when he prods her about having a conversation instead of just sex.

She tells Ben that she and her husband not only do not share the same bed, they don't even share the same bedroom, and he only pays her any physical attention when he gets drunk. So the affair continues until Mrs R's daughter Elaine comes home for Thanksgiving, and Mr R and Ben's parents insist he take her out to dinner. He doesn't want to and Mrs Robinson forbids it on pain of revealing their affair to everyone, so Ben doesn't want to take her on a date, but does so under this pressure, ignoring Mrs R's ultimatum. He doesn't believe she'll carry out her threat, but clearly he doesn't know Mrs Robinson at all.

I'm actually with Mrs Robinson on this because Ben has hardly shown his character to be stellar. He's having some sort of existential crisis and he's moody and isn't remotely interested in going back to school or finding a job. He always seems to have money though, but where he gets that, I don't know. The issue isn't addressed in the story or the movie for that matter, so I can only assume his parents give it to him, but why they would do that is a mystery given how he treats them.

They whine about his going out so much, and so late at night with no explanation, but if it bothers them that much, then why facilitate it by paying for it? They gave him an Italian sports car as a graduation present, so he's spoiled rotten. Maybe they just can't say 'no'. I can't blame Elaine's mom for not wanting someone like Ben associating with her daughter, though. And why would Ben? He had no interest in Elaine before, so why now? It made zero sense that he'd suddenly obsess on her except that maybe he just wants the thing that people are trying hardest to deny him?

There is a mildly interesting idea I read online that Mrs R didn't want Ben and Elaine to get involved because they both have the same father, which indicates that Elaine's father seduced Ben's mother, but there's nothing in the book to suggest that and it would mean - in an indirect way of course - that she's having sex with her own son. She doesn't seem like the kind of person who would do something like that. She's not shown as being particularly motherly either, so maybe she was just a predator, jealously guarding her prey, Ben, from becoming someone else's catch, but since we never see Ben aiming to date a different girl and get Mrs R's reaction to that, it's hard to be sure what her motivation was. Maybe she was just horny and Ben seemed like an easy mark to her.

She apparently cares little for him; it's just about sex for her, so I don't imagine she much cares about someone stealing her prey, just about him not being fit to marry Elaine. I think if that were the case, she would have simply said that's why she objected to it, but she really doesn't want her daughter traveling the same crappy road though life that she had to follow and she can see that coming a mile away with Ben at the wheel. She sees too much of herself in Ben: someone who is going nowhere, who has a drinking problem, and who could well end-up being at best a neglectful and at worse an abusive husband later in life.

Interestingly, she's never given a first name in the movie: she's always referred to - and addressed even by Ben - as Mrs Robinson, like she's someone else's property rather than her own person. We learn that her initials are G. L. but we never find out what those letters stand for. This may be a conscious choice by the author, but even when Ben wants to have that conversation with her in the Taft, rather than just get down to the sex like they typically do, he never asks her what her first name is.

From this, it would seem that he has no real interest in her either, despite his claimed desire for a conversation. For me Mrs Robinson is without question the most interesting and strongest person in the movie. Ben is a spineless ne'er-do-well and it's hard to imagine that someone like Elaine would be attracted to him, especially after the shabby way he treats her, followed by her learning of his affair with her mom. Their relationship makes no sense except in that they're both as bad as one another in their own bumbling and insecure way.

On the date with Elaine, he tries to ruin things by treating her badly and taking her to seedy clubs, one of which features an exotic dancer. She eventually demands he take her home, but he refuses, and instead pressures her into changing her mind, offering a meek apology, and she goes right along with it. He mentions having an affair and is worried she'd think badly of him for that, but he barely addresses the elephant in the room: of how he treated her thus far that evening!

Despite all of this she lets him dominate her and she agrees to go out for a drive with him the next day. When he comes to pick her up, Mrs R confronts him and Elaine figures out that the affair he had was with her mother. She orders Ben to leave, and refuses to speak to him. So now we're expected to believe that he's in love with Elaine and in the big finale, she's somehow persuaded to return his feelings despite neither of them really knowing each other; despite their having had no contact since high school; despite his controlling behavior, and despite his neurotic demeanor and his poor treatment of her. It doesn't work.

Initially, I found this audio-book amusing, if a bit irritating here and there, but I became rather less enamored of it as I listened to more of it, and especially after that 'date'. Webb also has a truly annoying writing habit, at least in this novella. Apparently all of the main characters are hard of hearing because the sheer number of times the word 'what' is used interrogatively in conversations is phenomenally annoying. It's like every other thing any character says, the person they're talking to says, "What?" like they haven't heard, or they can't believe it, or they don't understand what was said even though it's perfectly plain, and the other character constantly has to repeat what they just said. It's really pervasive and really distracting. And thoroughly irritating.

I found myself coming into agreement with an email friend of mine whose early assessment, based on what I'd told her about Ben and Elaine, was that they deserved each other - and not in a good way. After being in another funk for several weeks post-rejection, Ben abruptly declares to his parents that he's going to marry Elaine, despite him never addressing this topic with her and despite his having been angrily barred from her life a few weeks before - and despite the fact that he barely knows her these days!

So he drives up to Berkley where she's doing her senior year and starts stalking her. He sells his car so he'll have some money to live on and starts hanging around the campus looking for her. He planned on going to her dorm, meeting her and inviting her out to dinner, but he chickened out of that. He tried composing a couple of letters, but got drunk, the letters becoming more and more incoherent as he did, and he fell asleep. Eventually he runs into her in the street and she rejects him again, but he won't take no for an answer.

Later she shows up at his rooming house and he tries talking to her, but she won't talk to him because Mrs R has told Elaine that Benjamin got her drunk and raped her. Elaine won't listen to his denials, and he's such a poor communicator that he fails dismally in explaining his side of the story - and this is the guy who was, we're told, head of the debating club in college! It just doesn't work! Elaine tells him to leave Berkley and leave her alone, but later, she shows up in his room late at night. How she even got in there without a key is a mystery. I guess no one locks any doors in Berkley. Suddenly, she's interested in listening to him. He asks her to marry him and she says she might. She is so easily influenced that she really has no personality of her own, simply going with the flow of whoever is dominating her at the time - her boyfriend Carl, her father, or Ben. Always men, and they dictate her life right to the end of the story.

None of this story makes sense, and it doesn't really offer a fulfilling tale, So, overall, I can't commend it. It has its moments, but in general it's poorly and inauthentically written and it really doesn't give us a realistic story. On reflection, I think the story would have been considerably better had it been about Mrs Robinson instead of Ben, but not if Webb wrote it! I can see no future for Ben and Elaine except one of misery as he controls her life, abuses her, maybe even beats her when he's drunk, and she eventually commits suicide. There's no romance here at all.


Saturday, July 18, 2020

The Vampyre by John William Polidori


Rating: WARTY!

Here's another classic, and I have to say right up front that the story of how this novella came to be written is far more interesting than the story itself actually is! I'm not a fan of vampire stories. They're tedious for the most part and with few exceptions, but this is a classic and in my ongoing quest, I decided I should read it. In its favor, it's very short!

The legend is well-known to anyone who has any interest in Mary Shelly, Percy Shelly, or George Byron: it was the wintry cold summer of 1816 which was literally overshadowed by the eruption of Mount Tambora the year before. That volcano spewed out so much ash that, though it reduced the temperature of the planet by only a fraction of a degree, it ruined the crops the next year and caused widespread famine. This is what people don't get about climate change - oh it will only heat up by a degree or two, they think, dismissively. They think it isn't worth worrying about, but it's actually highly significant and dangerously destructive.

So that summer, the two Shellys, plus Byron and his doctor, John Polidori, were staying at a villa close by Lake Geneva in Switzerland. Mary was only eighteen. After entertaining themselves one night by reading ghost stories to each other, Byron came up with a challenge that they each write their own. None did! Mary began work on a short story that over the next couple of years expanded into a novel, which was published in 1818 as Frankenstein. Percy didn't write a damned thing. Neither did Polidori at first. Byron began a tale about a vampire, which he abandoned, leaving Polidori to complete it. This is that story - a mere thirty pages or so which didn't materialize as a published work until the year after Shelley's novel.

It's tedious to read. The doctor goes on for screens at a time in a single paragraph making it a chore to read, and the story has no drama, no excitement, and no real ending. There's barely even any vampirism in it! I cannot commend it as a decent read.


Orphan Black by Malka Older


Rating: WARTY!

I loved the TV series, and was sorry to see it end, but it did end, and in a good place. That's why, while I did hope for something interesting or exciting, or preferably both, from this short story - a prologue to an intended series no doubt - I think this was a mistake. It's the mistake commonly made in writing a series. Once the story had been told, where was there to go, but downhill? Where was there to go, but to retell it with a few scrappy changes?

That's exactly what happened here, In this brief story which was essentially a prologue and therefore offered nothing to bite into, there was nothing but tedium. It's just a new clone showing up - named Vivi. It was obvious from the off that this was who this woman was, so there was no sense of surprise, and what was she supposed to do? What could she contribute? The answer was 27 pages of nothing, so I can't commend this at all and certainly I have no intention of wasting any more of my time on this.


The Man Who Would be Jack by David Bullock


Rating: WARTY!

This is one of many books that push the author's personal favorite 'solution' to the identity of Jack the Ripper - which short of inventing a time machine will never now be solved. They all push their own pet theory and dismiss out of hand all the previous ones that other authors have pushed with equal fervor. The central problem with all of these books, including this one, is that each author is so besotted with their own theory that they never look at it critically even as they eviscerate the claims made by their rivals. Ultimately, this is what makes their own claim so putrid.

Bullock isn't the first to name this guy who sports the unfortunately à propos name of Tom Cutbush. His name was put forward by reporters within a couple of years of the last known Ripper murder. Bullock essentially just regurgitates their evidence. He also adds, as have other writers, one or two murders to the canonical list, just to puff-up his claim and 'prove' that the murders continued right up to the point where Cutbush could not have committed any more since he himself was committed. It doesn't matter that those other murders and assaults do not fit the MO.

We've had theories about there being no Ripper - just a series of murders that were lumped together by the media for sensationalistic purposes, which is nonsense. The police of that era not stupid and they were sure the so-called canonical murders were committed by the same guy. We've had theories that there was more than one Ripper - either working together or in tandem - because different knives were used, so they claim. This is really poor evidence. One psycho killer couldn't use more than one knife? We've had murders that were committed before and after the ones typically ascribed to the Ripper, and we've had so-called canonical ones subtracted just to fit a theory.

The problem with extending the Ripper's run after Mary Kelly's death, as this author does, is that they fail to explain how this psychotic killer managed to step down his carnage after Kelly, which was an horrific murder involving extensive mutilation. This was the Ripper's only indoor murder and he was undisturbed for an extended period, which accounts for how out of control his attack was, but the problem for Ripper solution addicts is that no serial killer can step down. They can delay their urges, but like the addict they are, they need a bigger thrill each time. This was why there was a double murder in September - the Ripper was interrupted during the first one and was unable to get the fix he needed, so he attacked another unfortunate woman to satisfy his violent urges.

So each time, they need more and after Kelly's horrible death, how is Cutbush going to step down and revert to stabbing people in the buttocks for his thrills? It doesn't work. It seems to me the Ripper committed suicide or died, or perhaps was committed to an asylum after his last murder because someone found him somewhere, incoherent after Mary Kelly's brutal death. The thing is, we'll never know.

This book does spend a bit more time on the victims than books of this nature typically do, but the real focus, as usual, is on the favored suspect, and it's really become quite tedious to read books like this, so I am done, and I can't commend a book so blinkered, biased, and ill-conceived as this one is.


Friday, July 10, 2020

Super by Ernie Lyndsey


Rating: WORTHY!

This was an audiobook that was in first person and believe it or not, miracle of miracles, I ended up enjoying it enough that I consider it a worthy read even though some parts were less than thrilling and the ending was a bit flat. I enjoyed the cynical and sly humor and the overall take on super heroes, as well as the shifty roles played by many of the characters here. It's not your usual super hero novel and I enjoyed that - the fact that it was off the beaten path and there were no angst-y heroes or braindead romances going on here was part of the appeal for me.

Paul Woodson did a pretty decent read for the main character, who was narrating the story, but I'm not sure I'd want to listen to him reading anything else. He seemed right for this part though. The part is a cocky and opinionated guy named Leo who assassinates superheroes who have, for one reason or another, annoyed the US government. He has worked for all the top agencies: CIA, FBI, NSA, and now he's being recruited by an agency supposedly so secretive that even the president doesn't know about it. His job is two-fold: eliminate renowned and beloved superhero Patriotman and uncover the assassin in Leo's organization which is apparently targeting the US president.

It's no spoiler to say that he succeeds at the one, and the assassin fails at the other, but this novel is full of twists and turns and often things are not remotely like they seem. Leo has to navigate this world and the risks and dangers inherent in it and he does an amusing and nifty job. I commend this as a worthy read, although I have to say I do not feel compelled to read anything else by this author, especially not since it seems he writes mostly series.


Tuesday, July 7, 2020

Dawn of Dreams by Bronwyn Leroux


Rating: WARTY!

Errata:
the "-
friends" - this was how a line was split - right at the hyphen. I don't know what was doing this but it looked weird!
"Legends take place in a particular time period, and their basis comes from that actually happened" - 'from what actually happened'? or maybe 'from that which actually happened'?
"Jaden squared his shoulders when it the beast overlooked Kayla and targeted him." It the beast?!

This is the first of a series and I'm not much for series, but once in a while one comes along that looks a bit off the beaten path and I try it out to see if maybe this will be one of those rare series openers that draws me in. They are too few and far between though, so I usually don't hold out much hope. This was one of the fails. I made it almost exactly half way through and gave up on it because of the rampant sexism. It read like it was written by a man - or a romance novel writer.

Set in 2073, the story is of Jaden and Kayla, both of whom independently discover that they can see things others can't: or more accurately, one particular thing - a reptilian-looking bird with a scorpion tail which seems to be stalking them. They each of them have a medallion - identical medallions - which have each been passed down through their family. They feel drawn to it and meeting by accident, they become quickly attached to each other because of their shared experiences. Once they have the medallion on their person, the bird seems much more aggressive, yet neither of them thinks to leave the medallion behind when they go out! Not very smart!

For two people who see something no one else can, neither of them seems much interested in pondering it. They're much more interested in how attractive the other is, and this is where the book lost all authenticity for me. I don't mind a romance in books, but it has to feel real and smart in context.

The story grew worse when Jaden started this protective bullshit - like Kayla was somehow inferior to him and must be protected, and she meekly accepted his judgement. This first became apparent when I read, "She had Kayla on edge. So much so Kayla wanted to grab Jaden's hand and hold on for dear life." Seriously? I mean this wasn't even a threatening situation - the women who had Kayla 'on edge' was a librarian. This tells me that Kayla is weak and stupid, and I have no interest in reading any books about weak, stupid women - and sure as hell not a series about one!

There were issues with the quality of the novel in terms of writing gaffs, as shown in the errata, as well as dumb things like, when Kayla first finds the medallion, she thinks it was "Not a currency coin. Or rather, its octagonal shape wouldn't make that very practical." Kayla seems to have no idea that coins come in literally all shapes and sizes. The Brits have a heptagonal one, and they used to have a 12-sided one! Other countries have weird-looking coins too.

Later I read, "Kayla grinned. Only another girl would understand the need to explore new surroundings" Sexist much?! Guys don't explore? This was sheer sexist bullshit! By this point, the novel had really begun to fall apart for me and after Jaden's St-George-Rescuing-the-maiden stunt, I was so nauseated with it that I couldn't continue.

I can't commend this novel at all. It moved too slowly - a real problem with series - and seemed more interested in these two characters' fascination with each other than in dealing with a real and present other-worldly danger. It was unrealistic and it made no sense. People don't behave like that and this lack of realism overwhelmed what might otherwise have been an interesting and entertaining story.


Thursday, July 2, 2020

People and the Sky by Anthony Aveni


Rating: WORTHY!

This book - about how different peoples have viewed the heavens over the years - was interesting to me although I imagine it's not for everyone. The author does tell a fine story about how people viewed the skies, both metaphorically and practically. They all had legends, and of course not all of the constellations were interpreted in the same way as we westerners typically view them. Not everyone would see it in the same way, this massive dome of stars, and sun and moon overhead, but most of them put it to practical purpose, usually in connection with farming and hunting. Naturally it was applied to religious ritual as well.

I read this graphic novel a while ago which was based on ancient legends. One part of the story was about a population of rabbits living on the Moon, and I never did know where that idea came from until I read this book which said that, rather than there being an old man in the Moon, there's a rabbit - in the view of some cultures, and the illustration in the book showed that there is indeed one in there, when viewed in a different way. You can see the rabbit, with its head and ears to the left, leading across to a body and back legs!

The author covers different creation legends, rituals, farming and navigational advice and a host of other interesting avenues of thought all revealing the ingenuity and creativity of ancient cultures when it comes to availing themselves of what the sky can still teach us even today, if we'd look and learn. I commend this book as a worthy read.


Onward the Search for the Phoenix Gem by Steve Behling


Rating: WARTY!

This book is rooted on the Disney animation (read 'barf fest') of a similar name. I was curious about it because I've paid zero attention to their animated fare of late, and I began reading it, but was turned off it so quickly all I have to say is that it was not for me. It held nothing of interest and really, I wasn't surprised, When has Disney, the most unoriginal animation studio ever to exist, who has bribed congress to extend copyright law to insane levels to protect its animated mouse, really offered anything of interest lately?

The last good thing they did was Frozen (take that however you want), and even that was still hog-tied to tradition in so many ways. They couldn't even leave that alone, going for a sequel to milk another billion out of the punters. That movie was almost a decade ago and ever since then, all they've done is remakes - live action versions of animated movies from their stable. Disney has never been less animated and this book was one more snooze in a blizzard of tired Disney yawns.


Bringing Stella Home by Joe Vasicek


Rating: WARTY!

This is a sci-fi story that started out boringly and never improved. It seemed to me to be more of a sort of weird authorial wish-fulfillment kind of a thing than ever it did a real story. It moved slowly, which is hardly surprising since it's book one of a series.

I've been actively removing all series books from my reading lists of late because I've been so universally disappointed in them. Series are not my thing for a variety of reasons, not least of which is this lethargy in pace, and also because the first book can only ever be a prologue - which holds no interest for me - and because all the other volumes are, are essentially a re-run of the first volume. It's lazy writing. Instead of coming up with something new, original, and entertaining, the author merely retreads the last volume and feeds it to the reader one more time. No thanks.

The plot here, is of the George-slaying-the-dragon kind of thing where mid-teens hero James goes on a jag to save his helpless older sister Stella, who is kidnapped by this ridiculously barbaric rag-tag conglomerate of pirate military outfits who have apparently been ignored by the authorities for long enough that they're all banded together into one big and devastating force, which no one seems to be able to stop. Except James. His plan is to hire a para-military outfit commanded by a woman, and have them rescue Stella for him. I felt like I could see where this story would go over time: James and the captain getting it on.

Meanwhile Stella is a sex slave on this other ship where the heartless leader of the rag-tag rebels is a cruel and despotic dictator and who, as soon as he finds out that seventeen-year-old Stella is a virgin, changes his entire attitude toward her and elevates her to the role of goddess or something. That was where I quit reading because the whole story at this point had turned me off. I could see where this story was going too: Beauty and the Beast anyone? It was tedious and unimaginative, unrealistic and stupid, and it was bouncing like a pinball between three perspectives, yet despite this, it seemed to be stuck in mud. I can't commend it based on what I read of it, which occupied more of my time than I ought to have expended on it. I'm done with this book and this author.


Unqualified by Anna Faris


Rating: WARTY!

I've long been a fan of Anna (pronounced Ahna) Faris as a comedy actor, so I thought this audiobook might be a riot as well as offer some interesting and amusing insights into the movie business, but it offered nothing that any woman of her age and similar experience could have written even had she nothing to do with the movie business, and I quit about halfway through it, in real disappointment and boredom.

Yes, she does mention a movie here and there in passing, but she never really talks about her experiences on them. Almost the entirety of the book (at least as far as I listened, which was about 75%), is about relationships and sex and body hair. The book description claims "A hilarious, honest memoir-combined with just the right amount of relationship advice." No, that's completely wrong. There's way-the-hell too much relationship advice and barely anything about movies, so I have no idea what this is supposed to be a memoir of.

Personally, I had no interest in who she had a crush on at school and I'm sure the guys she mentions will not appreciate the notoriety. I sure wouldn't, even if I were someone who'd been nice to her. And while she's listing these people by name, she complains about similar kinds of things happening to her, which seems hypocritical at best, but what I found truly sad is how much she seems to need to validate herself with a guy - right from the off and repeatedly throughout the book, she keeps harping back to guys again and again. The amount of times she validates herself through guys is disgusting, shameful and very sad.

She goes on and on about how great, wonderful, etc., her relationship is with Chris Pratt, but this book is two years old and she's divorced from him now, so it makes all these stories seem so shallow, short-sighted, or clueless. That's not to say she doenslt ahve a decent relationship with him now, for all I know, but really? If she'd stuck with her movie experiences, maybe mentioned a guy or a relationship in passing here and there, it would have been a much different book and she would not have forced me to repeatedly skip multiple fifteen second segments at a time to get past yet another sexual encounter or crush, or lusting, or discussion of guys.

In the end I was skimming more than I was listening and I asked: why am I even continuing with this? I ditched it and moved on. I cannot commend it. The title is missing a word - something like 'Disaster' to appear after 'Unqualified' and maybe 'Unqualified' should be traded for 'Unmitigated'. It's not a good book. She may amuse me in the movies but she isn't the kind of person I would enjoy talking to in person so I think I am going to relegate her to position two in my esteem and elevate Aubrey Plaza to number one! She's much more entertaining.


Englishman in Blackpool by Jenny O'Brien


Rating: WARTY!

Errata:
"You're name" should have read 'your name'
"...still had the evening to look forward." Should have had a preposition ('to') on the end.

This is a very short story that overall I did not really enjoy. Hopper (that's what he goes by) is a butler to the Earl of Cosgrave, who has taken some time off to help an old friend with a ballroom dancing class, after which he intends to go fishing. Beverley is one of the women in the class, and she has a stereotypical obnoxious partner who quits, of course leaving her partner-less and so Hopper steps in and they're magical together. The problem with this story is that it was so predictable and so unimaginative, with everything falling so easily into place, no hiccups, and St George saving his maiden. It was pretty pathetic and I can't commend it at all. Even the title made little sense but was chosen not to describe the book but to categorize it as part of a series of such books all with boringly similar titles. Barf.


Return of the Native by Thomas Hardy


Rating: WARTY!

You know times have changed significantly when you read in an older novel (this was published in 1878), "...I don't care for gay weddings" and it has nothing whatsoever to do with same sex marriage. Unfortunately that was the only bright spot I could find in thirty pages of this. Despite it being Hardy's sixth and one of his most popular novels, it was such a tedious read for me that I gave it up at that point. There's no point in reading something that just doesn't do it for you when the next book you pick might enthrall you.

The native is apparently Clym Yeobright, who is coming back to Egdon Heath after time away in Paris. He can't marry the woman he wants, and so just takes up with someone else and unsurprisingly, the marriage doesn't work. Not really an exciting story. The only reason I started in on this was because the opening sentence of the novel was featured in a Monty Python sketch and it intrigued me. Well, color me intrigued no more, I cannot commend the plodding pace of this, based on the small portion I read, and I'm moving on to something which will, hopefully, grip me from the off.


Right Ho, Jeeves! By PG Wodehouse


Rating: WORTHY!

This novel, first published in 1934, is the second full-length book from Wodehouse about Jeeves and Bertie Wooster. I'd been sort of idly interested in reading a Jeeves story for a while, but I never got around to it, so when this came up as a discounted audiobook on Chirp, I snatched it up. I didn't regret it. It was highly amusing to me and quite entertaining, although there were some bits where it dragged, and it's hardly politically correct, given its antiquity.

Note that there is one use of the 'n' word (although not in this historical context intended in an abusive way, merely descriptive, it's still, through our modern eyes, abusive enough) and there's the usual sexism for a book of this vintage.

On top of all of that one might justifiably take exception as well, to the idea of the idle rich having so much and so little of use to do with it, when so very many have so very little and are in urgent need of more. Those things aside, I enjoyed most of the book.

The story is of Bertram Wooster who, fresh back from Cannes, is looking for yet more idle pastimes to waste his life on. He discovers that his old school chum, Gussie Fink-Nottle, needs help. The book is replete with oddball names, my favorite being Pongo, which is not a dog but another of Bertie's male friends.

Anyway, Gussie is pining for a woman named Madeline Bassett. Bertie refers to her as 'the Bassett' and I must have missed something (I listen to this while driving, which always takes precedence in any conflict of attention, of course), because when he started talking about the Bassett, I was convinced for a while that it was a dog he was walking. It took me a little time to make the right connection which in itself was another source of amusement.

Bertie is rather peeved that Gussie is resorting to taking advice from Jeeves, and this is a theme that runs through this book - Bertie's jealousy of Jeeves's respected standing and his accomplishments in terms of winning people's favor for seeking advice. Naturally Bertie tries to take over all of these situations, convinced he'll do a much better job, and inevitably ends up screwing things up. Thus he takes on yet another love affair, that between another friend of his, Tuppie, and his betrothed, Angela, and messes that up as well.

Some of the most entertaining parts of the book are those which feature Bertie's interactions with his feisty Aunt Dahlia. I was laughing out loud at several of those. She is such a force of nature and is so disrespectful and dismissive of Bertie, and utterly intolerant of idiocy, a quality with which he seems over-abundantly endowed.

When his aunt tries to tap him for the prize-giving at the local grammar school where she lives, Bertie is aghast and ends up managing to offload the talk and prize delivery onto Gussie, who shows up drink and is quite amusing. The whole event is reminiscent of a similar occasion in David Nobbs's The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin wherein Reggie delivers an equally irreverent and drunk speech at an event before faking his own disappearance. I wonder if Nobbs might have cribbed his scene from Wodehouse's original example.

All ends well, of course, so overall I really enjoyed this book and in particular the spot-on reading of it by Jonathan Cecil. It's possible to get this book for free from Project Gutenberg since it's now out of copyright in the USA, but then I would have listened to it via my robot reader and amusing as that can be, it wouldn't have been anywhere near as entertaining as Cecil's version! I commend this as a worthy listen.

The Crown of Thorns by Ian CP Irvine


Rating: WARTY!

From an advance review copy for which I thank the publisher.

You know when a book has 'Book One' on the front cover that it's not really a story - it's merely a prologue and I don't do prologues as such. This is why I don't do series because, and with very few exceptions, they're inevitably tedious. This one - about cloning the fictional Jesus from the equally fictional crown of thorns - sounded like it might be interesting if it were done right, but the story never began.

Instead of unfolding a story, it rambled interminably, incessantly, indeterminately all over the place, going everywhere except where it was supposedly going. It began with a prologue! Then chapter one was also a prologue, and chapter two wasn't far off being one. That ought to have warned me off it right there, but foolishly, I pressed on for a little while. This is the problem with a series.

I gave up reading somewhere shortly into part two (the author seems to have confused parts with chapters and chapters with sections). I took to skimming thereafter, to see if the story ever actually got started at any point. It did not - at least not up to around the halfway point. The main character seemed far more focused on having sex with his girlfriend than ever he was in cloning anything. I cannot commend this based on my experience of it. I reviewed another Irvine novel back in March and it was equally lacking in entertainment value, so I'm not only done with this novel but with this author, too.


Like Spilled Water by Jennie Liu


Rating: WORTHY!

From an advance review copy for which I thank the publisher. Strictly speaking we're not supposed to post reviews until 30 days before publication, but since this book has almost a dozen reviews up on that execrable monopolizing review-site-killing Amazon-owned Goodreads venue already, I don't see that my modest one is going to make any difference.

Erratum:
"She holds the thermos up before setting in on the ground." - it on the ground

This is a story set in modern China and written by someone who has been there and seen what's going on. It paints a sad picture. The story is even more sad because it involves the untimely death of a family member. Na grew up as a sort of spare part in a family that was devoted to Bao-bao, the second born, but first valued. The very name, in Chinese, means treasure. That is, bao means treasure, and duplicating it means baby, so he gets to be the treasured baby boy. His parents spent their lives scrimping and saving, and borrowing to get the best education and the best preparation for the all-important entrance exam for college, but Bao-bao fell short and then he died.

Called back from her own modest college life, Na has to squeeze the details of what happened out in any way she can. All she knows to begin with is that her family is broken, especially her father, and at that point it seemed obvious to me what had happened, but I wasn't absolutely sure. I read on not because I needed to know about that, but because I found Na's life and her take on things engrossing. She is a strong female character who works hard to do what's right, but in the end, in discovering things about her resented brother, she discovers things about herself that make a huge difference to her life.

If I had a complaint it would be about the repetitive nature of the names in the story. They all seem babyish and sing-song, and while I know this is a thing in China, perhaps for western audiences it might have been toned down a little. If Na is just Na, then Bao-bao could have been just Bao, for example! But that for me was only a minor thing. I commend this as a worthy read and an interesting insight intro modern China that all of us could use right now.


She Represents by Caitlin Donohue


Rating: WARTY!

From an advance review copy for which I thank the publisher. Strictly speaking we're not supposed to post reviews until 30 days before publication, but since this book has about 20 reviews up already on that execrable monopolizing review site-killing Amazon-owned Goodreads venue, I don't see that my modest one is going to make any difference.

Subtitled "44 Women Who Are Changing Politics . . . and the World" this book did not please me. The title suggested to me that these were women who are making a positive change, yet some of the women featured here have behaved reprehensibly and in my opinion they by no means merit the honor this book seems like it's aiming to bestow. There are other, more deserving women, as other entries in the book show, so why those women are demeaned by being included with some of the less praiseworthy women is a mystery to me and I cannot in good faith support a book which takes this tacky tack.

If the book had been titled "Notorious Women of Politics" that would have been a different matter in terms of including the more reprehensible ones, but then the better women featured here would have been slighted. While everyone has some less than savory traits, there is a limit to how unsavory a person can be before they lose my confidence, and I do not believe that you can include all these stripes in one supposedly uplifting book without abominably misrepresenting the one or outright insulting the other.

The book description makes it plain what the intention supposedly was: "...this book celebrates feminism and female contributions to politics, activism, and communities..." and "Each...has demonstrated her capabilities and strengths in political and community leadership and activism..." And "...rounded out by beautiful color portraits..." was a bit of a stretch. I don't believe this book can achieve the stated goal of inspiring when such poor examples have been set by some of those featured in the book and I cannot in good conscience commend it. There are scores of inspirational, stronger, better, wiser, and more competent and considerate women who would have made fine examples. Why aren't they featured here?


Ever After by Olivia Vieweg


Rating: WORTHY!

From an advance review copy for which I thank the publisher. Strictly speaking we're not supposed to post reviews until 30 days before publication, but since this book has well over a hundred reviews up on that execrable monopolizing review site-killing Amazon-owned Goodreads venue already, I don't see that my modest one is going to make any difference.

I have to say up front that I'm not a fan of zombie stories, particularly movies and TV shows, although the movie World War Z actually wasn't bad. That's about the only one I can say I liked though. Zombie stories make absolutely no sense, and even were I to give that a free pass (as I have been known to do with other genres from time to time), the ridiculous levels of violence inherent in these stories and the endless hordes of oncoming zombies are completely and utterly boring to me. There is no story there to be had. So why on Earth would I want to read a graphic novel about this very subject? Well I have a good answer to that: it wasn't about the zombies at all. I was willing to put up with the zombie story though, for the sake of enjoying a story about female friendship and bonding, and I was not at all disappointed.

The author is German (her last name is pronounced like vee-vague, with a very soft 'v', almost like an 'f') and she originally wrote this comic as part of her diploma at university (I want to go to a university where I can do a graphic novel and graduate! LOL!). Later it was expanded and changed a little bit and this is the English version. In it, Vivi is not your most capable survivor. She lives in one of the last two cities that have not been overrun. At one point early in the story, her incompetence causes her to run away and hide, and as it happens, she's hidden on the supply train, which she only fully realizes when it starts in motion, rolling along its tracks to the other city. There's no one onboard - so she believes, until she meets Eva - another stowaway.

The story really begins though when the train breaks down and their rescue team fails to materialize, throwing them upon their own skills, of which Vivi possesses few. Eva seems quite endowed with smarts and skills and the two, despite rough patches, start to bond and become loyal to one another over the course of the story. There was some zombie-killing action, of which I am not a fan at all, but it's par for the course, and in this book it's kept to a minimum, although it increases more as they journey.

In addition to the relationship between the two girls, I enjoyed the nuanced approach to zombie transformation, so even that wasn't as painful as it might have been. Overall, I really enjoyed the story. There's already a movie out about this and it's apparently being rendered into animated form (maybe?), and no doubt when Netflix gets their hands on it, I shall watch it. So why not see other zombie stories as bonding relationships? Well others that I've had any exposure to are almost unanimously ridiculous and pointless. The same story can typically be told without any zombies at all. In fact this one could have also, by having a plague (Coronavirus would be a starting point for example, but good luck getting Barnes and Noble to publish that one! LOL!), or some other apocalyptic catalyst. Zombies aren't required, but in this case they were tolerable. The real story though was Vivi and Eva and I commend this as a worthy read.


Tuesday, June 23, 2020

Sheffield Shorts by Various Authors


Rating: WARTY!

I grew up next door to Sheffield so I wondered if I might find something of interest here, but I grew quickly bored with it, especially when I read in one story of a character named "Patrick O’Kane" who was later consistently referred to as "O'Kaney" without any indication if this was a sort of nickname, so I was left wondering if the O'Kane was right and the rest wrong or if the person's name actually was Patrick O’Kaney and the first instance of it was wrong.

The second 'short' story was interminably long and uninteresting, and it took me forever to page past it to get the the next one. The stories had no way to click from the start to the story or back again so if you don't like one story, there's no easy way to find where the next one begins. This ebook was poorly conceived. I can't commend it based on my experience. I find it rather sad that I had so little joy in the book selections lately, Hopefully next month will bring some improvement, but I'm done blogging books for this month, Time to be writing more than reading!


Mindtouch by MCA Hogarth


Rating: WARTY!

Given that this was the first in the "The Dream healers" series, I should have known better, but I was stupid. I admit it. At least it wasn't first person, but neither was it remotely original.

The story was about this university on this planet which is open to a variety of aliens all of which are based heavily on humans and/or human mythology and/or Earth animal life. There was nothing remotely new or inventive here. It was all lowest common denominator sort of stuff. naturally you have to make your aliens relatable (or do you?!), but you can't just put an animal skin on a human and pretend it's an alien, and that's all that was attempted here.

The aliens even favor Earth foods - specifically what's commonly found in North America - and they have human foibles and motives and behaviors. The novel centers around (or should i say centaurs around) the relationship between this centaur being and this animal being, but if no one told you what their species was, you woudl assume human from the outset - that's how un-alien they were.

Centaurs make zero sense and are absurd from the off, and it's especially absurd when this one - a rarity, shows up on this planet with stronger gravity than it's used to apparently without any acclimitization, and comes promptly a cropper because of it. this tells me either the individual is stupid or the people who sent it are morons. Either way it doesn't bode well for the story especially when the centaur seems to be completely awed by any technology it encounters.

Maybe its problem is that people don't take it seriously. At one point, and I am not making this up, the centaur's course advisor says to it, without a shade of humor or irony, “so you don’t have an indefinite period to horse around.” If the story had been a comedy or a parody that would have been funny, but it isn't. It's supposed to be serious. Clearly the author is writing this without putting a shred of thought into it. Why would I want to read a whole series like this? I wouldn't. I don't even want to read this one. Done with book and with author.


Whisper Falls by Elizabeth Langston


Rating: WARTY!

This novel is the first in the inevitable trilogy and that was the first strike against it. The second strike was the almost inevitable worst person voice - times two. Barf. I should have quit right then, but even so I tried to read it (this was before I developed my allergy to first person novels), but it was written rather amateurishly and entirely unrealistically, and worst of all, it dragged.

The plot is that Mark, while out riding his mountain bike, encounters a girl who appears to be out of time - because she is. Susanna is an indentured servant from 1796, yet never once does she think mark is a demon or a witch or something along those lines. It makes no sense that a person from that era would not at least have thoughts like that cross her mind.

So eventually it becomes the masculine rescue of the helpless maiden, and I wasn't about to read this kind of a story that far. I sure as hell wasn't going to read a frigging trilogy of this stuff. I'd had enough and I gave up on it about a fifth of the way in. I can't commend this based on the sorry portion that I endured.


Celestial Music by Tai Sheridan


Rating: WARTY!

While we're on the celestial plane so to speak, here;s a pile of stinking horseshit festering rancid, wishing it was in the sun.

This is an English translation of Buddhist sutras freely translated by the author. Thus we have vacuous lines like: "The earth s[lits open, everything springs forth, let the lamp blow out, welcome infinite happiness" And "Countless truth seekers, sincere and fearless, clarify the diamond body, wishing benefit for all beings" and "The wisdom of spaciousness is the truthful incomparable mysterious light of existence." You would have exactly the same success by writing a computer program to randomly jam dictionary words together or by writing them on a slip of paper and blindly pulling them from a hat.

I have no problem with viewing the planet as a single entity in which we all have a part, but Buddhism seems like cowardice to me. Searching for inner enlightenment while there are people starving, people homeless, people suffering? No amount of chanting is going to fix that. They don't have the option to contemplate their navel. It's sucked back so close to their spine that they can't even see it. They need helping, not chanting.

I guess the hungry at least they have that empty belly in common with Lord Gautama who, let's not forget, abandoned his wife and child. That's not a recommendation to me. It's neither harmony, nor peace and it sure as hell isn't commingling. There's this belief out there, and blind belief is all it is, that if one million children meditate together it can help to change the world, and they do, yet here we are, in an ongoing global racism crisis and a deadly and devastating plague swarming the globe. Thanks meditators! Let's not fool ourselves. What these people do, they do for themselves. It's not selfless; it's selfish, period.

It's appropriate that this book focuses on sutras of emptiness, because that's what it offers: nothing. I can't commend this wisp of a book or the vacuous poetry it contains.


Celestial by Various Authors


Rating: WARTY!

This is one of those books that a publisher puts out as a sampler of its author stable. For some reason they seem to do this more with sci-fi authors than with any other genre. Why I don't know. Maybe it's just my perception.

In this case, the contributors numbered ten, and I was grateful because now I have at least eight authors I can eliminate from my list of potential reads! All of those eight wrote in worst person voice, so I dismissed those stories out of hand. The only two I read were The Greenhouse Gas by Ariel Sieling, about two juvenile survivors of a space massacre who were trying to avoid an enemy and find their family, and Moon Warrior by Katie Hayoz about one juvenile survivor of a dragon massacre who was trying to avoid an enemy and find her family.

Both stories were okay, but not especially good, and were pretty much the same story when you get down to it. Overall I can't commend this because of the slavish addiction to first person voice which increases my detestation for it the more I encounter it, and the two stories that were readable were not particularly good.


Saturday, June 20, 2020

Death in the English Countryside by Sara Rosett


Rating: WARTY!

This is your standard English country murder story and it baldly states it right there in the title. I'm not a fan of this kind of story, especially not when it's in first person. I read this one only to try and see what was going on in a 'cozy mystery' story just out of sheer curiosity, and I had some issues with it pretty much from the start.

The author seems unable to write anything other than a series and I am no fan of series. At some point, you have to wonder why it is that so many murders occur around the "sleuth" who investigates them! Is she really the guilty party?!. This novel didn't have the word 'sleuth' in the book description, otherwise I would have dismissed it out of hand. I guess now I also have to dismiss it when it has the word 'cozy' in it or when the author is this one.

Talking of whom, she has four of these series out there because one is never far more than enough, and I'll bet every one is really the same and has a weak woman protagonist (and is probably in first person voice). But look on the bright side: if someone who writes so poorly and predictably can get onto a best seller list, then there's hope for all of us! For some three hundred bucks, you can take her "How to Outline a Cozy Mystery" course wherein, as judged by this outing, you can learn how to create a limp and clueless female leads who need manly validation by a studly English country guy, and who likes to meddle where she should leave things to the police. You can learn the same thing for free by reading well-plotted and well-written murder mysteries.

Her relationship with Alex (said manly man) in this story was cringe-worthy. She's supposedly a mature business woman yet she behaves like she's thirteen and just as clueless as your average thirteen-year-old, unable to process any of the sensations she gets around Alex. It was amateur, pathetic, and nauseating to read. Oh, and Alex has a bicep. Not biceps, but a bicep. I'm not kidding! You can feel it if you want; one of the female characters did. I guess he had an accident or something and lost the other bicep in that arm.

So this woman - with the highly inappropriate name of Kate Sharp (she's not remotely sharp) - works for a company that scouts locations for movies. Why a US company is being asked to scout English locations is one of the few the real mysteries in this novel. I guess the author, being American herself, has to have that American connection because god forbid a novel should be set elsewhere, or if it is, it should have no Americans in it! Maybe she shares the trump philosophy wherein only US citizens are worth anything and they sure as hell can show those bumbling British cops a few things.

Kate's boss, Kevin originally does the scouting, which constitutes another mystery since the movie he's seeking locations for is yet another remake of a Jane Austen novel (because we sure as hell don't have too many of those now), and Kate is the resident Austen buff, yet Kevin is the one who goes. Anyway, he disappears without word or trace, and Kate is dispatched to find him. He has a history of alcohol abuse so the suspicion is that he's on a bender. Kate is unable to find him until he shows up dead in the river, along with his rental car.

There's no spoiler there - it's a murder mystery after all! It is amusing how the author makes much of how rainy and cold it is in the UK, when it actually really isn't. Of course that's dependent upon when you travel there, but it has cold spells; it has warm spells. It has rainy spells; it has dry spells. It's not foggy all the time either! Has the ever been there?

I have to wonder at the value of the course the author offers. It's not a writing course; it's a plotting course, but when the author doesn't know it's 'downright' and not 'down right' and employs redundant phrases like "see if he'd reply back" one has to wonder. These were not the only issues in this style of writing. I read, "I couldn't remember the last time a man had held open a door for me." What does Kate want? To be a wilting violet? Does she want equality or pampering? We no longer live in an era where men are required to open doors for woman; even Prince William's wife doesn't expect that! Maybe instead of Kate Sharp she should be Kate Uppity?

As to her smarts, I read this: "My fingers itched to get my camera and record the quiet beauty of it, but I'd left it in my room at the inn. Apparently Ms Sharp has never heard of a cell phone camera.... Equally pertinent is this one:

“Hmm, I should have emphasized that,” Alex murmured. “Where is that business card?”
“I left the one Quimby gave me in my room. Come on, I’ll get it for you.”
Kate has Quimby's number in her phone since she called him. She could have just got it from there, but of course she has to get Alex to her room so she can sit with their thighs touching on the bed. Pathetic.

A woman who truly worked in the scouting location business would live on her phone. It would be second-nature to go to it without a moment's thought, yet Kate is completely inept at using her phone. It's just not authentic. And this is written by someone who would charge you good money to teach you how to plot?! It's obvious from halfway through the novel who the guilty party is (chercher la femme pétulante) - and I'm typically not that good at spotting the perp. The red herring is obvious too, and not remotely convincing.

This book was sad and silly, and I cannot commend it as a worthy read.