The Miracle Girl by TB Markinson

Rating: WARTY!

Errata:
"Have to!" when "Have too!" was required.
“You’re little spy has been busy. Is it Avery?” should have read "Your little spy..."

Not to be confused with The Miracle Girl by Andrew Roe, or Miracle Girl by Keith Scribner, or the Miracle Girls manga series, this novel is an LGBTQIA story about two women working in the dying newspaper business. JJ Cavendish, the woman of the title, is assigned to try and save the ailing newspaper in her home 'town' of Denver. She hasn’t been home in twenty years and has mixed feelings about it, especially when she discovers that her old love is working for the very newspaper she's now in charge of. Claire has evidently become the mother of a young child in the intervening years, as JJ discovers when they reconnect.

It seems pretty obvious that Claire and her 'husband' are separated, yet she doesn’t relay any of this to JJ, and the latter is evidently too dumb to figure it out or to even ask, which begs the question as to why she's in charge of anything, and especially why a news organization! I prefer stories about smarter women than these two, although this novel wasn't atrocious by any means. It does misrepresent itself somewhat in the blurb (but then what professionally published novel doesn’t?!).

Take this, for example: "Mid-afternoon office romps abound in this romantic comedy while also focusing on what it takes for a newspaper to remain relevant in this age of social media." It’s not a romantic comedy. There's no humor and no comedy unless you count a comedy of errors. And it does not remotely "focus" on the newspaper. It’s all about JJ and her physical pining for Claire. And it’s first person, which doesn’t help. As I read it I was constantly skirting along the border between, yeah it’s an okay read, and I detest this endlessly self-absorbed whiner! This should have been a third-person novel as should the majority of novels. This asinine addiction to first person stories is laughable, especially here.

The blurb asks, "Must JJ lose everything in order to gain a life more fully her own?" and I don't even know what that means. What she's risking is losing the woman she wants to be with, but she's managed perfectly fine without her for two decades. She's hardly risking everything. And how is her life to be fully her own if she's so utterly dependent upon Claire? The sentence made zero sense, but is typical of book blurb writers in the world of Big Publishing™.

JJ is inconsistent as a character. On the one hand she's used to taking charge, and running things, which means knowing how and when to delegate, yet when she wakes up one morning with a painfully stiff neck and back, and can’t reach up to the shelf in a pharmacy for a heating pad, she thinks, "There was no way I would ask a clerk for help. I never liked to ask for help." This again broadcasts how stupid she is. It’s not a good sign, especially when she's the main character and talking to you in first person.

Apart from the whining, the novel was written quite well and I thought I would enjoy it, but it became too much when these two women began behaving like clueless teenagers in each other's company and the whole story about saving the newspaper was effectively put on the back burner if not forgotten as these two pursued each other like rabbit sin high rutting season. The sex scenes were not even interesting or original, and it all became a joke, so I ditched it around forty percent in. No, I do not want to read another story about women who have nothing but sex on what passes for their mind any more than I want to read one about men who are in that same frame of mind. I cannot recommend this one.

The Butch and the Beautiful by Kris Ripper

Rating: WORTHY!

This novel proved to be every bit what I'd hoped for. It was such a pleasure to read. Thanks to the publisher and author for a chance to get in on an advance review copy! That's not to say that it was all plain sailing. I had a couple of issues (when don't I?!), but overall it was fun, entertaining, well-written, and very engaging. I didn't even mind that the ending was entirely predictable, because that was kind of the point!

This novel is part of a loosely connected series known as "Queers of La Vista," and it's set in a fictional California town. I haven't read any others in the series since I was unaware the series existed until I encountered this volume. Given that we're told more than once in this novel that the gay community in La Vista is small, it's a bit of a stretch that we already have five novels in derived from it! Like Pianosa in the Joseph Heller classic Catch-22, is highly unlikely to be able to accommodate all of the activity depicted in the series, but it's no more of a stretch that a TV crime show has a murder rate that exceeds Chicago of the prohibition era, either, so I'm not going to worry about that!

All the volumes in the series twist their titles from US TV soap operas: As La Vista Turns, Gays of Our Lives, One life to Lose, The Queer and the Restless. As I said, I haven't read these, but only two of them, including the one I'm reviewing, are about female relationships if we're to judge a book by its cover (which I normally don't!). Jaq and not Jill, but Hannah, meet at a wedding and immediately get the hots for each other. Neither is looking for a deep entanglement, but they had no way of knowing where this would lead.

The fact is that they click immediately, but since Hannah is going through a divorce - and not a pretty one - the prospects for this interaction don't look too rosy. The story follows them as they navigate a slightly thorny path through the relationship, through the well-meaning intentions of close friends, and through issues which try to steal time from the relationship even though they are not a part of it: such as Jaq's teaching duties and high-school relationship issues, and Hannah and her ex's fight over selling their house.

There was a bit of a Nora Ephron vibe to this, but this isn't your parent's Nora Ephron as the next paragraph will confirm. It did have that upbeat, liberal, well-to-do aura about it, though: people who were well-off enough to not have a worry about where the next penny would come from. As I said, I've not read any other of the stories, so I can't say if they are all like this. I hope not, because it would be nice to find a story in this series about a less well-off couple, or one which doesn't have such an easy trajectory to follow. Maybe that's just me!

Issues? I mentioned them so let's look at one more (the first was the improbability that all of this was going on in such a small LGBTQ community). I was not happy with the fact that these two fell into bed after knowing each other for an hour and proceeded to have unprotected sex. Yes, reality isn't quite such a turn-on I know, but I would have expected that both of these people would have been more grown-up and responsible, and a bit more cautious than they were. They are not teenagers, after all. The problem for me was that they didn't even mention risks, let alone discuss them or take precautions! Yeah, not sexy, and sexy is what this novel aims at - and gets there, be warned. It's very graphic and explicit, and it does not pussy-foot around (so to speak). There is liberal use of four-letter words and depictions of lesbian sex, but I would have preferred a note of caution to be sounded at least, even if it wasn't satisfied.

Having just published my own LGBTQ novel, it was fun to read a different story - a contemporary one which was written so well, and with such good humor and a positive vibe. It was an easy read and a rewarding one. The characters were wonderful, and based on the overall story and the quality of the writing, I recommend this.

Princess Knight Vol 1 by Osamu Tezuka

Rating: WARTY!

This is the second of two different "Princess Knight" graphic novels I checked out of the library. I had never encountered this particular sub-genre before so it was odd I picked two out on the same trip. Sadly, neither of them was very impressive, so I guess I'm done with Princess Knight stories!

This one is actually titled Princess Knight and is the one, I believe, which gave rise to the genre, although the original Japanese title said no such thing. Ribbon no Kishi means 'Knight of Ribbons'. That title made less sense, however, since no ribbons were involved in this story! It's a gender-bending story which I typically love, but this one irritated me from the off. The story here wasn't very good and was larded-up with everything (I believe I may even have seen a kitchen sink in there somewhere).

The premise is that angels add a heart to genderless kids right before they're born, determining their gender, which immediately disrespects everyone who isn't bog-standard binary. That was cruel. I thought they might be using this 'gender assignment' as a target to take down, but that wasn't what happened. Note that while this particular candidate (referred to consistently as Princess Sapphire) was issued both a male and a female heart at birth by a mischievous "angel" unoriginally named "Tink" (Tinku), yet despite this, genderism was rife throughout this novel, with the princess side of Sapphire constantly being put in its place. At one point near the end, Sapphire is engaged in a sword fight when the 'boy' heart is ripped out, and immediately the remaining 'she' feels weak and useless, and cannot fight the dastardly villain. That was the last straw for me.

Note that this was written in the mid 1950's, so it was in some ways ground-breaking for its time, but it was still a traditional view. It wasn't like the rest of the story was that great either, and even after 350 pages, it was nowhere near resolution. The reader was invited to the conclusion in volume two! No thanks! I'd already read far too much to want to read another volume of this. I began liking it because the artwork - black and white line drawings - was charming and elegant, and the writing was fun for the most part, but it just dragged on and on without going anywhere and without doing anything with this great premise. Despite having both hearts, Sapphire was feminine no matter what guise he/she was in, and it was absurd to pretend that there was this big doubt about whether sapphire was male or female.

The prince who falls in love with her is categorically unable to recognize her when he sees her without a blonde wig. So much for the depth of his love! For me the story betrayed males, females, and everyone in between and beyond. That's not the only thing which is confused: despite the setting being medieval Europe, the currency is dollars! Another one of many annoyances. So overall, I can't recommend this. While I loved the artwork, the genderism - the very thing I had imagined a novel like this would completely negate - was nauseating.

The Demon Girl’s Song by Susan Jane Bigelow

Rating: WORTHY!

This was an excellent novel which I fell in love with quickly and which I highly recommend. The main character is a lesbian who doesn't fully realize it to begin with, but this is not your typical LGBTQ novel. Nether is it an historical romance, although there is romance in it, nor your usual fantasy. If it had been, I probably wouldn't have liked it. It's not a ridiculous YA love triangle of a novel. Thankfully there are no triangles here! It's a novel about a woman who has an adventure, and she doesn't need to be validated in it by male or female. I was so pleased with that! Finally an author who gets it! This woman is my idea of a strong female character done to perfection. That doesn't mean she doesn't have moments of weakness or doubt. It doesn't mean she doesn't need friends or lovers. It means she can take it or leave it and she does just fine on on her own.

The story is set in the early twentieth century it would seem, but it's hard to tell because it's in a parallel world - one of magic and empires, and the world is nicely fleshed out. The main character, Andín is possessed by a demon - accidentally - or maybe not! (It's not remotely like "The Exorcist" as it happens!). This demon isn't outright evil - not in a psychotic fashion like in the Exorcist anyway. He's occupied the rulers of the empire for a thousand years, moving from father to son (or whoever is the heir) as the father dies, and expanding the empire with an iron fist, but now a wizard has tricked him into going into this peasant girl instead of into the emperor's son.

When the demon talks Andín into going to the capital and manages to wangle a meeting with the new emperor, he discovers he's been deliberately tricked by the palace wizard, and he's stuck inside this girl's mind. Even if the girl dies, he can't get back into the ruling family. But now the girl and her demon have been exiled from the entire empire, which meant a train journey of several days to cross the border into a mountain kingdom many miles from the capital. The oddest thing about this however is the weird empty shape they see in the wasteland as they cross the border - maybe it's a portal to somewhere. I have a feeling the girl is going to find out, and also going to meet the woman who sat beside her when the demon first occupied her. Yes, for the demons, it's occupy peasant week. They don't have a wall street, you see!

I loved the main character Andín - in a platonic way of course! She's only seventeen after all, but she's about to go on a life-altering quest, and she isn't the only one who will change. So, too, will the demon. Will she end up more like him, or will he become like her? Or will they meet in the middle? And if so, what then? Well, if this is any clue, here's how she responds to a noise in the night: "She checked around the bed and picked up the little pen she kept on her nightstand. If some strange man were to come at her, she could stab him in the eye with it." Shades of Jason Bourne!

The story is masterfully written! I'd say mistressfully, but that just doesn't sound right unfortunately! How sad is that? It's paced perfectly, relationships grow and change organically, it's very well-written, and the story never once got boring. There was always something new around the corner, and Andín's growth was perfectly reasonable.

On a technical level, and while this novel was well formatted for the Kindle app on my phone, there were a couple of issues with the chapter headers towards the end. It seemed like the intention was to use the possessive, but the titles ended up looking like this instead:
Chapter 20 Judyís Sword
Chapter 23 Shashalnikyaís Trail
Chapter 27 The Demon Girlís Song.

Overall, I couldn't have asked for a better fantasy novel, and I'm not really a fan of fantasy unless it's done really well. This one was. It was understated and nicely depicted. I was very pleased to have been granted a chance to read this advance review copy and I fully recommend it. I look forward to this author's next work. I hope it comes, like this one, with great expedition!

Magruder's Curiosity Cabinet by HP Wood

Rating: WORTHY!

The novel is copyrighted to Hilary Poole, which I assume is the HP part of the author's name, and of course that’s conjoined with the 'Wood' surname, a classic of fine literature (though I say so myself...!). How could I not want to read this? I was well rewarded for my self-serving gamble.

This novel (which I read in an advance review copy for which I was very grateful!) is evidently set in an alternate timeline, because there was no major outbreak of Bubonic plague on Coney island at the turn of the 20^th century. That particular outbreak took place on the opposite coast, where the idiot governor was in denial and thereby exacerbated the disease outbreak dangerously. Here, the outbreak happens in and around Coney Island and in true human tradition, the "freaks" of the carny are deemed less than human and quarantined for it. It’s easy to see this as a class struggle, but in truth, the poor lived in (slightly) less hygienic conditions than the wealthy, and this is where the rats (and the fleas they carried) congregated, so in one small way it was rational, although it was clearly done for irrational reasons.

The story revolves around two axes which quickly come into alignment. The first of these is a seventeen-year-old girl named Kitty, who is living on the streets in New York despite, just a few days before, being resident at a nice hotel. it takes a while to discover how she came to be in such sorry straits. Another part of the story involves the eponymous curiosity cabinet, which is less of a cabinet (in the way we view it today) and more of a museum. The evil undercurrent of Bubonic plague provides the grease upon which this story slides, creating very much of an 'us against them' mentality, but it’s not quite that black and white, despite there being characters of both hues playing important roles. There are undercurrents all over, none of them in the ocean.

The characters are beautifully defined, and each makes for intriguing, entertaining, and enjoyable reading. There is Zeph, not a midget, but forced to live like one because of an accident. There is Archie, an aging con-man who, despite his complete lack of ethics and empathy, plays an important part. There is Timur, the frightening, dangerous, and reclusive inventor at the heart of Magruder's. There is P-Ray, who only Nazan figures out, and there is Nazan's gentleman friend Spencer, a rich boy who plays his own unexpected role.

The most fascinating characters for me, however, were the females, three of them, all strong, but not in a super-hero, kicking-butt way. They were strong in the way an arch is. Nazan is a frustrated scientist, self-taught and at odds with her family. Kitty is the young girl, cast adrift, but not without a rudder. Another, although lesser character is Mademoiselle Vivi Leveque, leopard trainer extraordinaire. My favorite however, is Rosalind, although not a female - or maybe that depends on which day of the week it is. (S)he definitely has some classic lines to speak. At a party when America's elite, including Theodore Roosevelt - are in attendance, we get two great lines, one of which is Rosalind's. She's interrupted in conversation with Henry Ford (who has no idea she is a he and vice-versa), and resumes it thus:

Rosalind bats his lashes at Ford. "As I was saying, Henry, is there really no other color than black for your cars?”

This is not the only amusing observation she makes. The other line is Spencer's at that same gig:

"Well, Roosevelt, let’s see how rough a rider you truly are."

At one point, Nazan effects an English accent in order to try to find someone, and the hotel guy to whom she's s speaking says,

“I’ll direct you to the laundry,” he says, “if you promise to stop speaking like that.”

which slayed me. An honorable mention must also be bestowed upon Vivi, who emits this fine epithet:

"Vil mécréant! Accapareur de merde d’abeille!”

never have bee droppings been put to finer use!

This story is told well and moves at a solid work-like pace which kept me swiping screens. The threat looming over Magruder's isn’t of the disease vector variety; it's about another disease entirely: the narrow-minded, money-grubbing, dehumanizing one. There's always something new and intriguing (or disturbing) going on. The unexpected should be expected often. The story is a very human one, endearing, warm, disturbing, and deeply engaging. I recommend this novel completely and without reservation (not even as the classy Hotel where Kitty had stayed).

The Language of Hoofbeats by Catherine Ryan Hyde

Rating: WARTY!

I got this novel from the library because it sounded interesting, but in the end it was far too caricatured and too deeply gouged into the page in stark black and white crayon to take seriously. I guess I should have known it was not for me when I couldn't remember the title properly. I kept thinking it was called "The Sound of Hoofbeats" but that actually makes little sense. Maybe I should have re-read The Sound of Thunder instead? Or was that "The Language of Thunder"?! LOL!

The novel is told in dual first person PoV, which is twice as bad as single 1PoV because it's two times as unrealistic. The two narrators were the most antagonistic of all the characters of course, but this dynamic simply didn't work because it was too extreme and there were no gray areas. It resulted in a very amateurish game of writing ping-pong which was laughably combative. The premise is that a lesbian couple with three children, one adopted the other two fostered, arrive in a small town where Paula is to become the new vet. They have a series of run-ins with their neighbor, Clementine, an older woman who is haunted by the suicide of her daughter.

Whether that idea - that a foster parent can up and move to an entirely new area while still retaining the children they're fostering is something with which I'm not familiar, but it seemed unlikely to me. I don't know, though. I've never fostered children, and maybe allowing this freedom to move is the done thing in a society as mobile as the USA. It was commendable that a gay couple were considered suitable, though, so I sincerely hope this part is true at least.

What I didn't get was why this author threw in everything but the kitchen sink: gay couple, small town, adopted kid, fostered kids, lots of pets, troubled children, cantankerous naysaying neighbor, cantankerous neighing horse.... Maybe she should just have written a story about the conflict in Afghanistan?! It just seemed odd that the conflict was so stark while the potential conflicts were so rich. The one thing which wasn't added was any issue with a couple consisting of two moms - at least not in the portion I read. That's how it needs to be, but it's not always how it is. Maybe that reared its ugly head later, or maybe not. I didn't read that far.

The only weird thing about the couple for me was that the children referred to their parents as J-mom and P-mom. This was for Jackie and Paula. I don't know how the author chose the names for the parents, but I found it interesting that they were both names which have a ready masculine counterpart: Jack and Paul. As a writer I think naming characters suitably for the particular story can make an important contribution, and even tell a small story in the name itself, so I couldn't help but wonder how much thought the author had put into these names. Maybe it was none. I don't know. Was it intended to send some sort of a message or just happenstance? These components of novels interest to me and can be important if they send the wrong message to a reader.

But I digress. Again. The bane of writing! I can see how J-mom and P-mom (I think I'd rather be J-mom!) would work when they were referring to a parent who was not present, but to directly address them as J-mom and P-mom sounded stupid to me. Why not just call them mom? Maybe it was such an ingrained habit they couldn't help themselves, but that would really depend upon how long these kids had been a part of the family, so for me it was something I felt could have been handled better. This was a minor point compared with the bigger issue of the conflict, however.

Clementine, the neighbor, cannot bear to go into the barn where her daughter died. The horse is neglected, but Clementine can't bear to sell it because it's the last link with her daughter. Naturally, the disaffected trope teen with the bizarre name of Star (the horse is called Comet, of course) bonds with the horse and Clementine bans her from the property, but Star doesn't listen. We all know how this is going to end, so the only mystery in this novel is how the author brings it to that foregone conclusion, and the only answer I could see looming was using trope and cliché, painted on in ham-fisted, broad black and white strokes. It was not entertaining to read.

Some of it made no sense at all, and this was due to poor writing. We're told early in the story that Star crossed the road to stand outside the fence which corrals Comet, yet Clementine accuses her of trespassing. I didn't get how that worked. If the fence is right by the road and Star is standing on the road-side of the fence, then she's not trespassing! If she had, for example, crossed the neighbor's lawn or yard, and then reached the corral, yes she'd be trespassing, but this isn't how the arrangement is described by the author - either that or she does a poor job of explaining the layout of the property.

This is a relatively minor point in itself, but what it told me (along with other instances of lax writing) was that not enough thought had been put into this story, and this weighted it down, making it a drag for me by about a quarter of the way through, which is when I gave up. Little things do matter - if there are enough of them and the overall story itself isn't very well done. I can't recommend this one.

She's Not There by Jennifer Finney Boylan

Rating: WARTY!

I swore after my last outing with this author that I wouldn't read another, but I'd forgotten that I'd ordered this book from the library, so I gave it a whirl in the hope that it would be better than Stuck in the Middle With You which I reviewed negatively back in October 2015. It wasn't!

This one just arrived at my excellent local library, and so, hoping it would be more focused upon what I was interested in, I plunged in. The problem was that this was just like the other (or that was just like this!). It was just as dissipated, random, lackluster and as meandering as the other one was. This disappointed me. Like the other book, this one was all over the place, starting in 2001 with a random encounter with two girls, one of whom had been a student of the author's when she was a both a professor of English and a he. This had taken place two years before the publication of the book. The second chapter referred us back to 1968. The third jumped up to 1974, then there was a weird interlude, after which we're off to 1979, and then to 1982. No. Just no!

I confess I don't get this "Nauseating Grasshopper" technique which, as a martial art, would undoubtedly be a deadly and disorientating fighting style, but which is nothing but irritating and off-putting as a literary conceit (and I use that last word advisedly). It's the same kind of thing which was employed in the other book and at a point just 50 pages in, I started to realize that I had little interest in continuing to read this despite the engrossing and important topic. I only ever had two English professors (post high school) and both of them were great in their own way. How this English professor can write a book about a n important and fundamentally interesting topic, yet make such a pig's ear out of it is beyond my understanding. Perhaps it's precisely because it was written by an English professor that it's so bad. Perhaps you have to have a certain distance from the language in some way I can't quite define, to be able to execute a story successfully in it.

If the skipping around like a cat on a hot tin roof had revealed anything, I could have maybe got with it, but it didn't. This wasn't a coherent story, not even remotely. It was an exhibition (and I mean that in the most derogatory sense) of miniatures - of impressionistic paintings in water colors that were so lacking in definition that they were essentially meaningless stains on old, discarded canvasses. They conveyed nothing, and I can no more recommend this than I could finish it. I wanted to learn just what had gone on with this guy who was really a girl, and I wanted to hear it in her own words, but I couldn't because she's not there.

Stuck in the Middle With You by Jennifer Finney Boylan

Rating: WARTY!

“enormous and beautiful wife”
“…after ten years of marriage she was a beautiful as when we married…”

Wrong in assumption that all parents want to talk endlessly about children. I know I didn’t.

This is a book written by a man who married a woman, had two sons with her, then felt the need to become a woman himself, which she did, and the family maintained their coherence throughout this. That's a remarkable, joyous thing. My question when reading this was, "How can you make a story like that trite and boring?" I have no answer to that except that somehow, this author managed it. She has written at least one other book on this topic, and has also branched into fiction, but having read about a third of this and given up on it, I don’t feel any kind of compulsion towards reading more by this author.

The problem with this book was that despite how remarkable the experience was, not unique, but darned close to it, all we got here was a family drama which could have been related by anyone. The author talks about her family life like it's unique and engrossing, but it isn't. It may have become interesting after she changed, but I couldn’t stand to read that far because the early part of the book was so awful. I don't know how you can make a book like this sound monotonous and tedious, but she did.

The one thing which really stood out to me was how genderist she was - and for someone who has been both genders, this really made an impression. For example, she rambles on about “rites of passage” categorizing her sons in a way she cannot, nor probably would want to, be categorized. The first example was when her oldest son started shaving. She had this bizarre idea that this was some sort of ritualistic father-son bonding thing. No, it’s not. Maybe for some people it is, but it’s a really blinkered view to imagine that every other father-son is just like you are with your son.

Her bland, and frankly arrogant, assumption that no fathers have beards and that no women have any experience with shaving is so far off base as to be in a different ballpark. On page twenty she talks about women liking the fact that when she was a man, she had a feminine streak, “…that I seemed to be sensitive and caring, that I didn’t know the names of any NFL teams, that I could make a nice risotto.” I’m sorry but I don’t see any of these traits as being un-masculine. I found it incredible that this author who had broken so much ground was categorizing and pigeon-holing people in a way she herself presumably would not wish to be categorized, pigeon-holed or classified. It was both clueless and arrogant as well as hypocritical.

As a man, the author met her wife Deedie at one funeral and a wedding, rather like the movie, but she applies genderist and patronizing descriptions to her. I read (when Deedie was pregnant) that she was an “enormous and beautiful wife” and later I read, “…after ten years of marriage she was a beautiful as when we married…”. I found this obnoxious, dismissing not only women, but the woman she supposedly loves, as a skin-deep fleshpot, whose only important trait was how pretty she looks. Forget any other traits she might have because who cares - we don't need to go beneath the skin! Again, it’s insulting. On which topic, her younger son is referred to and addressed as " Seannie ". How belittling can you get? The infantile name doesn't even sound cute. And yet later she's expressing concern about what kind of an effect her personal transition has had on her two boys?! Lady you got bigger problems than that if you're branding your son a "Seannie"!

She dismisses all parents with an insulting assertion that all that parents want to talk endlessly about is their children. I know I don’t and didn’t even when they were infants. Most people I know do not do this. I have no idea who she hung out with, but they were evidently very shallow, or she had a very biased view of them. But at least she had the pleasure of becoming one of those people later, so I'm sure she was very happy. The annoying thing about this was that it spent so much time talking about ordinary everyday life - the same kind of life every adult, and every parent leads. It wasn't interesting and had little bearing on what became of her later. Maybe the latter part of the book is different. I didn’t read that far because I'd read all I could stand of bland.

The book consisted of a first person PoV of her life, but there were breaks in the story for interviews with people I had never heard of and had no interest in. I skipped all of these to get back to the story for which I'd got hold of the book in the first place - the story I wanted to read, but was denied evidently in more than one way! There were really odd parts, too. for example, at one point, she's out cycling with her boys, and one of them cycles ahead and somehow manages to come flying off his bike. The story tells us he goes to the hospital, but then we get a bunch more of those annoying interviews. I quickly skipped past those to find out what happened to her son, but the next section where she's telling us her story makes no mention whatsoever of the incident. I'm like, "What?" Is your son that unimportant? Did you forget what you had previously written before collating and interleaving these irritating interviews? Had the previous borrower of this book torn pages out? Who knows? It was at this point that I quit reading this and returned this to the library so it could piss off someone else instead of me.

I learned essentially nothing of how she went through this, what she felt, how she coped. Maybe later in this book some of that was addressed, and there is another book on the topic by this same author, which is probably the one I should have read instead of this, but as for this one, I cannot recommend it. I should have realized that anything with "memoir" on the front cover ought to be avoided like the plague!

The level of naïveté demonstrated by this author is really quite stunning. She writes things like, "...it also occurred to us that physical intimacy may not be the most important kind" May not be?!! One thing which really disturbed me, and this goes right back to gender roles and stereotyping, was where she wrote, "What kind of men would my children become...having been raised by a father who became a woman?" This is a problem how exactly? I guess if your view of life is that a man must be a man and a woman a woman and never the twain shall meet is your starting point, as evidently it was hers, then this is your unavoidable destination. Given that this particular author literally transitioned from male to female, the level of hypocrisy here is truly giddying. Quite obviously she learned nothing from this transition, and this is apparently why she can teach us nothing.

Anything That Loves (Various Authors)

Rating: WARTY!

Given the diversity sexual identities this purports to cover, Sapphic novel would not have identified it, so graphic novel it is! That said, there was an unwarranted bias towards bisexuality and people's confusion over it. I don't get that! People like what they like what's to confuse? This novel had an introduction which I skipped, and then also a graphic introduction. I don't know what that was all about. Finally we got onto the stories which is what interested me, and frankly, it was a mixed bag. Many were entertaining, but there were some oddities along the way, and I felt gender diversity was ill-served, which turned me off this overall.

The biggest problem was that this had a preachy tone to it, which wasn't appreciated, especially since this is more than likely going to be preaching to the choir, which begs the question of who this is expected to reach. But I wasn't going to worry about that since it's likely more aimed at reassurance than at reaching out to new pastures. Those pastures were sadly limited, though and largely populated with sheep.

The first one I really liked was Mango by Mari Naomi. I don't know exactly why I liked it so much. Maybe it was its brevity and simplicity, but it definitely spoke to me in some language. The slightly psychedelic artwork helped.

Some of the stories were rather trite and predictable, but then I'd happen upon one which came out of the blue (with the emphasis on coming out, obviously!). One which literally came out of the blue (it was set in the ocean) was Biped by Ashley Cook and Caroline Hobbs. I loved the play on bay for gay, although I was a bit surprised that bay-sexual never showed up! Bi-ped made up for that, though!

Comics Made me Queer by Lena Chandhok was fun, and got in a plug for Alison Bechdel, which is never a bad thing, and Erika Moen, who also has a story to tell here (LUG) which is awesome and does a better job of getting the point over than do half-a-dozen other stories on the same topic in this volume. Maurice Yellekoop's A Date with Gloria Badcock was a lot of fun, and a great choice of a character name there.

Kevin Boze's Platypus fell a bit flat for me. I take his point about humans obsessively categorizing things, but there's a reason for it in scientific endeavors. Although species, over time, are mutable, genus and species classification is very valid as a snapshot, and very useful. I can't say the same when people try to do it to music and novels and movies - and sexual identities! I wish he had chosen music rather than display some ignorance over evolution science to make his point.

Moen's second story, Queer left me with a less favorable impression. One of the big themes in this book, apart from its dedicated obsession with bisexuality and its neglect of other gender identities, is that of labeling, with which I can sympathize if not truly empathize. Based on what's related in this book, bisexuals evidently have a lot of jackasses who can't grasp that, just as gender identity is a sliding, and not a discrete digital scale, someone who is bisexual is also on a sliding scale from almost 100% gay all the way to almost 100% hetero (no one is actually 100% either way, let's face it!).

Somehow people can't cope with that, and think that when they're dating someone of the same (or more accurately, similar!) gender, then they must be gay and when they date someone of a different gender then they must be straight. I have this same kind of a problem when people learn I'm vegetarian! They ask, "What do you eat?" like, if you don't eat meat, then there's nothing else. They can't see an alternative. Horse shit! And no, that's not my diet, it's my comment on their being horse's asses.

My problem with Moen's story here though has to do with the labeling. She complains about the labeling of gender preferences, but then proudly identifies as queer! What's that if not yet another label? I can't see that as a very wise solution. It's her choice, of course: she can identify as whatever she wants, and I'm good with whatever she (or anyone else) choses for her or himself, but it felt like her approach was somewhat lacking in logic. OTOH, it's gender preference, and I'm not sure logic even applies. It is what it is.

Some of the other stories were nonsensical or too scrambled to attract my attention, much less my approval. Some were not appealing. Others, like Roberta Gregory's Queer Career, were far too much text and far too little variety of image and I hadn't the patience to plow through them, especially given that they were really repeating the same thing far too many other stories had already done to death. At least I think the title was Queer Career. This was another problem in that there was no title page for the individual stories - they ran into one another and on a couple of occasions, I had to back pedal to discover I'd started on a different story. While I appreciate saving trees by not adding superfluous pages, The titles were not at all well defined in many cases, so I wasn't actually sure what the story was called. Some help there would have been appreciated.

Given the focus on labels here, I was astounded to see one story where an example of a woman wearing a dress and sporting leg hair was seemingly held up as a problem, but when I later went back to find this (and had a hard time doing so), I wasn't so sure looking at it the second time that it really was doing what I thought it had been the first time I saw it, so maybe this wasn't a problem! LOL! Talk about confusion....

Jason Quest's Scout was the first story featuring people of color, and I was almost half-way through this book by then. A little more representation would have been better appreciated. This one made up in quality what was sorely lacking in quantity, fortunately. It was followed by the long and excellent Swimming Pool Suitor by Leanne Franson (Leanne, I'd be your platonic date if I were not married and not living miles away!).

One problem is that while some stories went on way too long and contributed little beyond killing a few extra trees - which as you know are very bad for preventing climate change - others such as Leanne Franson's could have stood to be longer, but the biggest problem was that, as I've mentioned, the book is obsessed with bisexuality, which isn't what the front cover misleads us to expect. I think it could have used a much better editing job and a lot more diversity and subtlety.

Far too much of this book was focused on sex rather than love which, given the title, is a complete betrayal. Yes, there were delightfully many stories about companionship and caring, and friendship and love, but there were also stories which had people jumping into bed on the first date, having picked up a stranger in a bar or somewhere, yet there was nary a word about safe sex. I think it was mentioned twice in this entire book. That's shameful. If you want to promote understanding of gender queer people and relationships, then the last thing you want to do is play into the absurd religiously-fueled stereotype that all gays are sexually obsessed and that's all there is to it. I was expecting better from a book like this and writers like these.

The biggest betrayal, however, is that while the cover subtitle is "Beyond 'gay' and 'straight'", these authors can see only minor variations on bisexuality, so despite all this blather about labels and gender preference fluidity, there was no dance party here. There were only three relatively rigid labels - gay, straight, and bi, and this is bullshit. It's for this reason that I cannot recommend this, although your mileage will more than likely differ. At least I hope it does, otherwise all those trees died for nothing.

American Virgin: Around the World by Steven T Seagle

Rating: WORTHY!

The last volume, though titled "Around the World" also incorporated the final arc, titled "69". It follows Vanessa and Adam on their "world tour", beginning in Rio de Janeiro. Adam is dramatically brought almost literally face to breast with topless beaches, and is shocked initially to see Vanessa topless, but she educates him - the start of a long, slow process.

When Adam calls Cyndi, as he does frequently, now she has become his reality touch-stone, he interrupts her int he middle of her and Mel having sex. Why Cyndi would even answer the phone is a mystery! Why Mel isn't insulted that she does is an equal mystery.

From Rio, the couple travel to Japan and attend a penis festival. By this time you would think Adam has learned a few things, but evidently he has not. Initially he's shocked by the giant penis statues, but all too quickly turns his feelings around, so this part seemed completely fake to me, first his shock, and then his almost immediate acceptance.

Next up is Bangkok, where Adam books a hotel room for the two of them and it's Vanessa's turn to go overboard, but why she does is even less intelligible. In the end, she storms off to a hostel, abandoning Adam. Later, equally unintelligibly, they make up rather speedily, and all is well. Again this rang false for me. What saved this story for me, despite all this patchiness and falsity, was the other interactions between this couple, which were truly well-written and realistic, and which were endearing and engrossing. Adam gets a tatoo and while he's having that, he hallucinates a sexual encounter with Cass, which somehow convinces him that Vanessa is the one for him. This signifies the end of the Around the World Arc.

The 69 arc begins with Adam returning home with Vanessa and announcing, out of the blue, that they're married, but, we shortly learn, the marriage has not been consummated. At first I thought that this just meant that they were married spiritually, but not officially, but it quickly becomes clear that between this and the last arc, they did actually get officially married. Adam's mom reveals what a truly racist piece of work she is, ordering Adam to annul the marriage.

Meanwhile, fulfilling the last clause of their unofficial contract with Adam, his low-life, but evidently industrious step brothers announce they've found his real father in Cuba, so the entire family debarks, including Adam, Vanessa, Mel, and Cyndi, and manages to enter Cuba through some arrangements Mel has made. Reydel, it turns out, is now a priest who inexplicably still thinks the obnoxious Mamie is a beauty, and kisses her, giving her a heart attack, which Mel fixes by jolting her from the local power supply.

While she's recovering in hospital - availing herself of the free health care in Cuba - Mel kidnaps Adam and hustles him off to the Dominican Republic where the architect of his wife's murder now resides for reasons unexplained. Rather than shoot the bastard, Adam tries to make friends with the fiend. Inexplicably, the terrorist tells Adam there is a video of his fiancée in a nearby suitcase, which Adam dutifully opens. Why he would want such a video is a mystery, but when he opens the case, a bomb explodes yet Adam escapes without a scratch, other than a bloody nose. He isn't even deafened, yet we're expected to believe he's badly injured! The rescuers ask him his name and the last page shows him laying in their arms and a translucent version of him standing over his unconscious form. Whether this means he died or what, simply isn't explained.

So, this last arc was perhaps the weirdest of the entire series, and perhaps we would have learned more had the series not been canceled, but this was a truly odd way to finish it. Did he die? Who knows! It was ridiculous to artificially keep him virginal without any good reason, just so he could die in that state. It would have been more in keeping with the rather black-humored tone of the series to have had one more issue showing him being raped as one of the 79 virgins of the terrorist who died with him! Based just on the ending, I would rate this negatively, but based on this entire volume I have to rate this positively because until the very end, the story was really good in these last two arcs, and the art work was excellent, particularly some of the photo realistic filler pages between issues and the one full page image of Cyndi (which on reflection I think might have been in the previous volume). Overall, I rate this who series a worthy read. Be prepared for some potholes along the journey though!

American Virgin Wet by Steven T Seagle

Rating: WORTHY!

It's in this volume that Adam finally realizes he may have made a mistake in believing that Cass was his one true love. Ghost Cass says something that sets him off searching for the other five contestants in the beauty pageant where he first met Cass. IMO his mistake was looking there in the first place - at a pageant that's so obsessed with skin-deep appearance instead of looking a lot deeper, but that issue is one which isn't touched upon in this comic series at all, I'm sorry to say.

He hires his low-life step bothers at a thousand dollar a pop for each of the girls in that pageant that they turn up for him, and he visits them one by one. How he can, as a Christian, justify this squandering of money which could have helped the poor and fed the hungry is also not touched upon. For all his bluster, Adam is truly a piss-poor Christian in the romanticized and idealistic sense of the word, but he's a very good blind believer in the vengeful Old Testament style.

He meets on girl at one of his uncle's sex parties, and another who is pregnant and who starts to deliver the baby as he talks to her. That was amusing, and made a truly refreshing change from the stereotypical birth scenes, especially those on TV, where the guy panics and his wife is screaming in pain. Yes, there are some deliveries like that, but not every single delivery is like that by any means!

The extent of Cyndi's past is revealed in this arc, and also it becomes more and more clear that Mel and Cyndi are going to become an item, although there is still a surprise in store there. Adam finally meets one of the pageant girls, Vanessa Upton, who he honestly believes could be his soul-mate. On a whim, he takes off after her as she starts off on an impromptu low-budget tour of the world.

It was nice to read this volume because it was such a change from the previous one. The artwork was a joy -brighter and far more positive, far less tediously menacing than the previous volume, and more importantly, for me, the text took a turn for the better: all of the scenes where Adam and Vanessa interacted were a joy to read, and I was to discover that this joy only increased in the next volume. Definitely a worthy read!

American Virgin: Going Down by Steven T Seagle

Rating: WORTHY!

In the collected volume two of this series, and after their wild African adventure, Adam and Cyndi return home. In this story arc, I quit thinking Cass was still alive, and started thinking two other things: that there was something odd about Mel, their mercenary guide, and that Cyndi and Adam were going to end up an item by the end of the series. I was right about one of those two, but it turned out to be a double-blind, so there were two revelations, the second of which didn't make a heck of a lot of sense.

It's in this arc that we learn that Cyndi is even more interesting than she's already proven herself to be. She has a dark past and two sadly stereotypical thugs catch up with her, but fortunately Mel is there to save the day. I have to say that the depiction of these two guys struck me as rather racist and turned me off this volume somewhat. Also it felt like the story tried to hard to be controversial, so I didn't like this volume as well as I liked the first.

The highlight of this volume for me was Adam humping his dead girlfriend's coffin in a scene that could have come straight from Clerks (The Missing Scene), as depicted in a graphic novel I favorably reviewed back in November 2014.

At the funeral, Adam is proposition by a red-headed girl who wants to lose her virginity to him. I don't get what it is with this artist's obsession with red-headed girls in this series. Almost every significant female Adam meets is a red head in the first two volumes, although I admit that they thin-out rather more in later volumes. Shortly after the graveyard encounter, he another one redhead - a news reporter who gives no indication that she's really a biological male, yet Adam somehow picks up on this and incorporates it into a speech he gives later. I didn't get this either. It felt like this particular arc was simply trying extra hard to incorporate every known gender queer permutation just for the sake of it, rather like my idiosyncratic (2AABCGHILOPQSTU) category does!

The story quickly moves to Australia as Mel informs Adam this is where the actual beheader of his fiancée now is. There, they meet Clauda, a lesbian lush, and her brother Deacon, who is gay. Given that they're on the clock for this "mission" it makes no sense that they're dawdling on the beach catching rays except, of course, that it gives the authors a chance to bring in two more gender queer "types". This is and example of what I meant about the story going out of its way.

Adam in increasingly having visions of a naked Cass who seems to be alternately telling him to move on and to remain faithful to her, which makes no sense at all. It makes even less sense for Adam to go "undercover" and a flaming queer, dressed outrageously, in order to make contact with the beheader they seek. Adam is of course photographed leaving the place and the photo makes news headlines. It felt like this ought to have gone somewhere in the next issue, but it never did, so again it felt like it was included for no other reason than to check off one more gender "type" from the list rather than to contribute to or to serve the story.

The first part of Mel's secret is outed: he has a bone to pick with the terrorists over a dead loved one, but this makes the story even less sensible because it begs the question as to why Mel hasn't already dealt with this himself. Why does he need Adam? There was a feeble attempt at an explanation, but it didn't hold water. It relied on Mel needing Adam to track down where these guys were, but all the tracking is done by Mel, so this weak explanation failed.

On the flight home, the plane carrying Adam and Cyndi skis off the runway - for no apparent reason - and drops into a swampy lagoon - hence this arc's title! This is where this arc ends. Despite a lot of issues, I still rate this positively. The artwork was less pleasant than the first volume and the script nowhere near as entertaining, but as part of Adam's sexual education, it did a passable job, so I consider it a worthy read as an integral part of this complete series.

American Virgin: Head by Steven T Seagle

Rating: WORTHY!

How strange to read a novel with the word 'virgin' in the title and discover that, for once, it's not a completely boring waste of my time! American Virgin is a series that looks at sex from the PoV of a Christian virginity pledger named Adam Chamberlain who is the unlikely spawn of two TV evangelists. He has a younger brother Kyle, and a sister Cyndi. How those two got such un-Biblical names is an unexplained mystery. Somewhat less of a mystery is that these two are as far from Kyle as it gets when it comes to liberal attitudes towards drugs (Kyle) and sex (Cyndi).

The entire series, before it was cancelled, follows five story arcs, and is a fast and easy read. The first collected volume is Head, and this is followed by Going Down, Wet, Around the World and finally, Sixty-Nine. I shall be reviewing at least the first four of these.

Kyle is kidnapped and subject to a lap-dance as part of his unexpected Bachelor party, but he escapes before anything untoward happens. Adam is saving himself for Cassandra, another pledger, who is evidently having a hard time refraining judged by his last phone conversation with her. The next he hears of Cass is on the news - she has evidently been kidnapped and beheaded by some rebel tribesmen. Adam loses it and flies to Africa with Cyndi pretty much accidentally in tow, to bring her body back, but all the time he's really looking for some payback. Not a very Christian outlook on life, is it?! Yes, thy have the "eye for an eye" Old Testament rule, but there is also the contradictory "turn the other cheek" New Testament rule, so what gives?! Sanity, probably.

I have to say right up front, that I didn't quite buy the claim that Cass is dead. There is a headless body of a white female, yes, but there's nothing else offered - such as fingerprints or DNA - to certify that this is indeed Cass's body. Admittedly it's not like headless white females commonly show up in Africa, but coupled with her suspicious comments on the phone to Adam earlier, I'm wondering if something else is going on here.

Adam's slow, slippery, seductive slide from his high horse to being an ass is a pleasure to watch. As the hypocrisy of the Biblical texts is highlighted starkly, Adam finds himself in possession of a men's "girlie" magazine, and exposed to an entirely different approach to life as he travels through various nations in Africa in search of the guy who killed his beloved.

I have to say that the number of African breasts on display here seems excessive to me. It makes the continent look like it's sooo last century. OTOH, Swaziland, a highly Christian nation, seems extraordinarily enlightened when it comes to topless women (that's not too be confused with beheaded women, BTW).

I liked this comic because although it went over the top somewhat, it did tell some important truths about the hypocrisy of religion. This is the third graphic novel I've read where Becky Cloonan did the art work (in this case the penciling), and she's batting 666 at this point. The work wasn't brilliant, but it was serviceable and the coloring was a fine job too. Your mileage may differ, but I consider this a worthy read.

The Whole Lesbian Sex Book by Felice Newman

Here's a book I'm not going to rate because it's dealing with a very personal topic, and it's not fiction. A rating is inappropriate. I do have some observations on it, though, the first of which is that this is not a book for guys unless they really want to learn something about women. If you come into this looking for cheap thrills, then you're going to be sorely disappointed. If you come into it looking for a dedicated lesbian book you may be disappointed too, because it seems like it tries to cover every facet of the queer world rather than focus upon the relatively narrow one intimated in the title.

The next observation is that this is not a book for the timid unless it's a subset of the timid who are looking to lose some of their timidity. The author pulls no punches, and boldly and liberally employs four-letter words for body parts. This didn't bother me, but it may put others off, which leads me to a third observation and a serious question: who is this book for? That seems like a dumb question, but the simplistic answer: "It's for lesbians stupid!" doesn't get it done. It's not just for lesbians; it's for anyone who is seriously and honestly interested in female sexuality, but I kept asking myself if this was the best approach to reach the widest audience.

A lot of what's in here is so obvious that you'd have to be pretty dumb, sheltered, stupid, or some tragic combination of all three to not know this stuff. On the other hand, if you are none of the above and do not know this stuff yet, then you may well be so off-put by the abrasive and aggressive language used here that you give up on the book before you learn anything of value! The tone employed in the book didn't strike me as the most conducive to reaching out to the widest segment of female society including those who might most need to know what's in here. It felt too narrowly addressed to be of broad benefit.

One final issue which I had was with the promotion of herbal remedies for anything and everything. A lot of the plants most commonly repeated in this book can be very dangerous if not used wisely, and may be of little benefit even used wisely. Yohimbine can increase blood pressure, while large amounts can dangerously lower blood pressure. Ginko biloba brings a risk of bleeding and gastrointestinal discomfort - not a wise choice for someone who may experience that every month as it is. Ginseng can cause irritability, tremor, palpitations, blurred vision, headache, insomnia, increased body temperature, increased blood pressure, edema, decreased appetite, dizziness, itching, eczema, early morning diarrhea, bleeding, and fatigue. St John's Wort should not be taken by women on contraceptive pills. It's associated with aggravating psychosis in people who have schizophrenia. I got this from wikipedia, but you will not read it anywhere in this book.

That's not to say that you will automatically be struck down should you taste one or more of these herbs but it is to say that anecdotal "evidence" for the efficacy of any non-medical "medication" should be taken with a pinch of salt (assuming you don't have high blood pressure!). The only truly smart choice is to approach your doctor with your problems. If you do not feel comfortable going to your doctor about these topics, then it's high time to find a doctor you do feel comfortable with. In addition tot his, some of the information given here is a bit outdated. That doesn't mean it's not true or not close enough to true, but I'd have been happier with more recent references, and references to primary rather than secondary sources, than older ones (some as much as a decade or more out of date) which felt to me more like sensationalism or scare tactics than a sincere effort to relate an accurate picture.

Note that a lot of this book was very repetitious, and this made for a tedious read in places, but amidst all of this other stuff is some interesting information, including an extensive set of references and URLs, and some nuggets of good advice, so read or read not; there is no try! And good luck and best wishes to anyone who is taking their sexuality into their own hands instead of letting society or the church do it for them!

Best Lesbian Romance 2011 Various Authors

Rating: WORTHY!

This is a collection of assorted very short stories which are all focused on lesbian relationships. A tiny few were very good which is why I am recommending this. Some of them were awful. I refuse to believe that these stories constitute the best lesbian romance for a whole year! Either that or the editor (who wrote the last story) doesn't have the first clue as to the difference between romance and adolescent lust. With very, very few exceptions, this book seemingly set out to prove that lesbianism is nothing more than cheap and shallow lust. I can't imagine why it's referred to as romance since there's so little romance in evidence here.

If this kind of thing had been written with one of the protagonists being a guy, it would be considered a superficial overdose of juvenile hormones. I don't think lesbians should get a free pass. Is it not possible to write a romantic short stories? I know that part of romance is great physical attraction, but that's not all it is by any means. I thought a lesbian perspective would appreciate the mental as being superior to the physical, but I evidently thought wrong! Either that or I'm reading the wrong authors.

The thing about the best lesbian romances is that there really wasn't any sex either, which is the other reason for which something like this might have been written - as soft-core porn. All of the stories were pretty much about some woman who was not up for a relationship, or who hadn't had one in a while, or who was sour on them, meeting someone brand new and pretty much launching herself at her new acquaintance's lips, or her new acquaintance launching herself at her lips.

It was pretty much all about new relationships, almost instant kissing (just add warm lips) and lustful thoughts about bodies. Only one story was about an existing relationship, and that was just plain odd. Fortunately, only one or two stories actually depicted sex, though. The saddest thing is that very nearly all of these tales were essentially the same trite story with only the character's names and ages, and the setting being changed. It was romance by numbers, where the template was pre-drawn and all you had to do as an author was color between the lines. Boring.

For some reason I had the idea that lesbian romances would not be as cheap, shallow, juvenile, and tawdry as hetero romances. I thought there might be a different perspective on it with some deeper insights. I'm sorry to say that I was so wrong! Anyway, here we go with a few or fewer) words about each one.

Hearts and Flowers by Theda Hudson
There's a somewhat dysfunctional relationship between Gina and Jen. To me it didn't feel realistic. That is to say it began feeling like it was real, but it grew increasingly fake to me. I found it hard to see that a girl who likes to be on the receiving end of (some mild) BDSM ends up rather cruelly punishing the woman who likes to give it, and without a really good reason.

The best way to pursue a relationship in which both parties are evidently seriously invested is to be open about I - not to walk out in a huff, offer neither solace nor information, and hope your partner figures it all out before it's too late. On the good side, this was technically well-written and had some nice moments, but it had a fake feeling - like I was reading fiction, which is exactly what it was, but it shouldn't feel like that to a reader.

Mother Knows Best by Rachel Kramer Bussel
This is a Very short story about how Stacy met Tanya, the love of her life. Stacy is 38 and her Mother is trying to match-make her not with a guy but with a girl. Stacy likes a girl whose ass she can smack?! This is too stories in a row where one partner likes to inflict pain (even if only mildly) on the other. This was not a great introduction to a series purportedly about love in my opinion!

There was also a lot of objectifying, which is curious form female authors, yet here it is! That said, this story did have a certain sweetness to it, and Tanya definitely came out of this looking as hot as she was purported to be when Stacy's mom told her about this new girl she wanted her daughter to meet.

Twelfth Night by Catherine Lundhoff
The unfortunately named BJ is in lust with Tasha, a fellow player in their production of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night which turns out to be more like As You Dyke It turning into The Comedy of Eros or Amid Sappho's Night Dream. Nadine has the hots for BJ, who has the hots for Tasha. Sara, BJ's supposed best friend is pissy. At the last minute BJ decides to relinquish her role as Viola and take the Duke Orsino's role instead so that the more suitable Tasha can take the starring role in order to impress the critic who will be at opening night.

It's pretty obvious from the start how this is going to play out. It's one of those YA stories where the guy (or less frequently the girl) doesn't realize that the best friend is actually also the ideal partner. You'd have to be pretty stupid not to realize this, and you'd have to be a moron to go that long without sharing your feelings or without them becoming obvious from numerous hints and circumstances along the way, so I wasn't impressed with this one.

Boiled Peas by Clifford Henderson

This one is about Penny and Lil a couple in their mid-twenties, who aren't even a couple when the story begins but you know for a fact they will be one when it ends. For me it felt just a wee bit too convenient and fairy-tale-like, but maybe twee was what the author was aiming for in translating this into another language, so to speak. It is very convenient Lil happens to come over on the very night when Penny, feeling annoyingly sorry for herself on her birthday, is about to eat boiled peas with her champagne. Lil is the apartment's new maintenance person, and Penny is about to celebrate her birthday and remind herself that her mother was right when she compared her daughter to the princess who was obsessed with the pea.

It's also a bit too convenient that Penny, as a self-diagnosed ice queen, suddenly thaws after knowing this girl for all of a hour. I could only buy this one as a fairy tale.

I think I will Love You by Rebecca S Buck
"She was beautiful in a striking sense"! In what way, I found myself wondering, is something beautiful yet not in a striking sense? This story - the story of how wounded Carolyn, and dominant, shameless Karmen pair up, marked three out of four stories so far here where physical appearance is held up as a positive trait! It also, disturbingly, marked two out of four stories wherein the prospective partners leapt into depth (if not bed) on the first date (in one case literally, and in the other, for all practical purposes). Is this what we want to represent lesbians as being - half the time they're committed in one way or another, the other half they ought to be committed for being as loose as the gravel on Carolyn's driveway?

Camellias by Anna Meadows
This is yet another example of a rush to sex

The Panacea by Colette Moody
Simone and no, not Nina, but Hope - a crashing personification - meet in a coffee bar, except that Hope is serving the brews and Simone comes in feeling bruised after being laid off. All Hope has in mind is getting laid on Simone.

Lost and Found by Andrea Dale
We couldn't get two screens into this one before lust raised its ugly head. Lara, in Hawaii for god knows what reason since she isn't attending the sessions at the conference, wants to drag Evie into bed the moment she lays eyes on her. So here am I, half way through this romance book and there's been zero romance, not so much as a spell of magic, no hint of subtle seduction, in fact, nothing but lust raising its ugly head. Do lesbians really need this rap laid at their door?

If this one had been written about a guy picking up a woman, it would rightly be pilloried. Do lesbians get a bye where guys don't when it comes to objectifying women? I think not. We're supposed to be treating genders equally are we not? Does romance, when it comes to lesbian relationships mean nothing but the shallow and superficial? I hope not.

A Witchy Woman Called My Name by Merina Canyon
I don't know if Merina Canyon is really this author's name, but it's a pretty cool name regardless. This was a good story with an ending I totally expected, so no surprises except at how clueless the main protagonist was. Still a decent read and more romantic than most stories here.

Rebound by Charlotte Dare
Is a story of a mature woman who falls for an even more mature one, and while in some ways it's charming and has an element of realism to it, it still focuses purely on lust and physical attraction (and is a bit more graphic than most stories here). Despite a happy ending - marriage, it has disturbing overtones of stalking in it.

Things I Missed by Kathleen Warnock
This was one of the most enjoyable stories, if tinged with sadness. It's about regrets and brushing off regrets, and it's about cruel injustice and faded friendships. It's very different on tone form many of the others. There's no room here for the shallow and superficial, for the lust and hormonal rampages of so many other stories in this collection. It's a mature and serious story and was very much appreciated.

Dirty Laundry by Cheyenne Blue
Another author with a cool name! Set in Eire, this truly appropriately-titled story is about the appalling cruelties organized religion is capable of perpetrating, in this case upon "wayward girls" in an evil convent where "Love thy neighbor" never did get any air-play evidently. Maura is the new girl dumped in the convent, torn from her baby and is fortunate that Eileen chooses to befriend her without thought for anything she would get out of it. Eileen's sin was to be unwillingly molested by a priest. What she does get out of it is a lifelong friendship and the love she was starved of for nineteen years before she met Maura. This was a brilliant, sweetly-written, though hard-to-read-at-times story and made this collection worth enjoying, all by itself.

The Game by Elaine Burns
This one was also one of the best. Short and to the point, perfectly titled, beautifully written. What looks like a first encounter over a pool table has much more going on than you'd imagine! Who's going to break first?!

The Gift by Sacchi Green
I was starting to wonder at this point whether giving your daughter a cool name means she will grow up to be an author of lesbian romance stories! This one was excellent if rather fantastical. Unlike the other stories, this one had an element of the magical to it - and I don't mean purely the magic of romance! The question of this Christmas night was: how are Lou - stuck on an unexpected tour of duty in Afghanistan, and Meg - urged by Lou to go enjoy their planned vacation in Switzerland anyway - going to get through this family night without each other, their own family, to hold hands and hug? Maybe the odd gift box Lou was handed by an Afghani woman she helped can help Lou in turn? Or is that just too ridiculous?

Rock Palace by Miel Rose
This story is about Taylor and Lilly (not Lilly Taylor) - a late twenties early thirties couple. Taylor grew up on a farm and feels a need to get back to her roots, but she's never had a girl she could take back to those roots with her. Finally Lilly came along and Now Taylor thinks that there's a possibility that she can have the best of both worlds. The story was gorgeous - just gorgeous.

The last story, by the editor, I'm not even going to talk about because it was so awful. So most of them turned my stomach, but a precious few, a happy few, a band of sisters; for she to-day that shares her story with me
shall be my sister; be she ne’er so vile, this day shall gentle her condition. I recommend this for those few.

Candy Darling by Candy Darling

Rating: WARTY!

This is an extremely short book composed pretty much of a handful of letters written by Candy Darling. It hardly presents her in the best light. There was a foreword, and an introduction, and a "Candy Remembered", and an editor's note before we got to the meat of this one. All the introductory material was very nearly as much as Candy's own words, so naturally I skipped all of that as I usually do. If it ain't good enough to be in chapter one, it ain't worth my time. Anything less is self-serving claptrap all-too-often in books of this nature written by people in whom I have no interest.

So this isn't, contrary to what the title tries to tell you, a memoir in any meaningful sense. It isn't a book written by Candy Darling as such, I'm sorry to report. It's merely a very short series of her letters and what look like quotes from her. It's a complete mess which, along with some interesting observations, includes boring and bitchy whining, recipes for food, as well as make-up and clothing comments, and odd lists of Hollywood actors.

Parts of it are interesting (we do get some perspective on her life and how she felt about it), but most of it is tedious, and highlights Candy Darling, rightly or wrongly, as someone who is superficial and shallow, bitchy and hypocritical, who is obsessed with looks and getting a boyfriend. I think she deserved a better testimonial than this.

Some parts are amusing, such as when she lists the names she's known as in her neighborhood: "Marlene D-Train to Queens, Mamie Van Doorway or Diana Doorways, Tawdry Heartburn, Tana Lerner". One part I loved, being a fan of parody myself, was where Candy re-wrote the words to a song which makes me think of The Platters' Twilight Time, but it isn't that, nor is it Hoagy Carmichael's Star Dust or Frank Sinatra's Stardust. The song seems really familiar, but I can't place it! Candy's version ran like this (I've included only one verse): When the spotlight slowly dims and you’re regretting all your sins when memories that you hold so dear are all that's left of your career, that’s stardusk. Love it!

She's very hypocritical. On the one hand she talks about being real and true and then turns right around and exclaims " I think I see a place where I could use a silicone injection above the upper lip and near the nose". Seriously? In another part, after spending so much time wanting to be a woman, she remarks, "I don't think I want to be a woman anymore, I can't be. I'm too strong" which struck me as really inappropriate.

The "memoir" ends with what looks like a suicide note, but Candy, who was actually born James Lawrence Slattery, died very much as Candy Darling in 1974 at the age of twenty nine, from lymphoma. I can't recommend this unless you're a really addicted fan. You'll get more out of reading the Wikipedia entry for her. She deserved a lot better.

My Two Moms by Zach Wahls

Title: My Two Moms
Author: Zach Wahls
Publisher: Penguin Random House
Rating: WORTHY!

After sadly having to review The Invisible Orientation negatively today, I'm relieved to be able to review this one positively. Posting so many reviews of gender-queer books and novels, some people might ask: does he have an agenda? And the short, simple answer is yes, I do! I have an agenda of siding with those who are abused by right-wing religions.

Zach Wahls grew up with his biological sister Zebby, both children of Terry, who was married to Jackie. Terry was a strong and independent woman who fought against almost impossibly long odds to get pregnant as a single lesbian. She grew up on a farm in Iowa, so maybe that farm is where her dedication was born, or maybe it was just in her genes. As a nine-year old, she protested her father's plan to name the farm "John Wahls & Sons", given that Terry worked on the farm too, and just as hard as any son. He wouldn't change the "& Sons" to "& Family". He also told her she was "out of [her] god-damned mind" to want to have a child, but if she had not, Zach would never have been born, and I never would have had the chance to read this book.

The pathetic thing about all this isn't what was happening with Terry's child, but the antique attitudes of jerks like the doctor at the fertility clinic and the editor or the local newspaper who actually used the term "illegitimate child" to refuse on the one hand to in vitro fertilize her, and on the other, to announce the birth in the newspaper. It's for people like these: pathetic, bigoted, and clueless people, that swearing was actually invented, because they simply cannot be described in polite language. Did you know that?! The really sad thing is that these events were not in the 1950's where they would have been just as reprehensible, but at least in some ways understandable. No, this happened in the 1990's, just two decades back. How far we've come since then.

I love some of the things this author says and the juxtapositions he offers us in his relating the history underlying this:

On December 21, 1996, Terry Lynn Wahls took the hand of Jacqueline Kay Reger and made public, openly and honestly, the highest commitment two loving people can make. ...[walked] down the aisle at our church to the theme song of Star Trek: Voyager

What's not to love?!

President Bill Clinton signed into law the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). DOMA, a bill - sponsored by then-Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich who was carrying on an extramarital affair and signed by President Clinton who was later impeached for lying about an affair of his own - explicitly defined marriage, in the federal government's eyes, as between one man and one woman, ostensibly to protect the sanctity of the institution

What's not to despise?!

There was some inconsistent writing in this book. For a book which is trying to fight against stereotyping and bigotry, I found it odd at best and hypocritical at worst when I would read a sentence like this: "Maybe part of that had to do with the Midwestern habit of not asking too many questions about things that don't concern you". I've lived in the Mid-west and not found that to be true - or at least not any more or less true there than it is anywhere else. It struck me as really weird to stereotype a group - in this case mid-westerners - in a book which was making a case for gay marriage! Not all Mid-westerners are the same, and this wasn't the first time I had read a phrase like this in the book.

It was equally odd to read this: "Another advantage of lesbian moms: I knew girls didn't have cooties". I'm not concerned with the trivial fact of his discovering girls don't have cooties, but that he's suggesting he could only learn this from growing up the child of a same sex couple. Heterosexual marriages can't teach this? This comment just seemed odd and out of place to me.

On this same theme, one phrase I didn't need to hear more than once was "we worked through the hard times so we could enjoy the good ones," yet we get that almost, but not quite, like a mantra. That and one or two other items were a bit annoying, but overall, I liked reading this, and I recommend it.

What I didn't like reading was of the roadblocks which were put into path of this family because of a few clueless and very vocal "moralists" who through ignorance and blinkered obstinacy tripped up everything they tried to do as a family. This was starkly highlighted in Zach's description of what happened when Zebby broke her arm. Terry was indisposed at the time and Jackie, a nurse by profession, knew that Zebby needed hospital treatment. Even though she was married to Terry and knew these two kids better than anyone other than Terry, the hospital could do nothing without Terry's permission, and Jackie had to endure this, knowing that this girl, who was for all practical purposes her daughter, was in pain, yet not being able to help her because of what religious nut-jobs and antiquated government polices said.

What bothered me in learning this was why we didn't learn of co-adoption, guardianship or right of attorney. I know nothing about this so maybe it wasn't an option. Maybe it's not even possible, but as feisty as Terry was, I can't believe she didn't look into any of this - into a means by which Jackie would have some rights with the children without Terry having to give up hers.

Having no rights, Jackie had no power, and if Terry had died, Jackie would not only have lost her, but the children, too, because she had no legal claim on her own family, over the very children she and Terry had lived with and raised together. Maybe there were no options, but if so, it would have been nice to have read that Terry tried this that and the other thing, and nothing worked or was possible. I felt that this was a serious omission.

This same abuse was inflicted upon this family by the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics (a place I have worked I'm now sorry to say!), because the ER doctor wouldn't listen to Jackie - not a family member as far as he was concerned - when she and terry were there for treatment of a painful condition brought on by Terry's multiple sclerosis. Thereby Terry's suffering was prolonged. Again it would have been nice to have read here as to why a power of attorney had not been put in place - did they not think of it or would it not have worked? We don't know, and I think this is a big hole in this story.

Another thing which intrigued me was when Zach tells of the time he was driving in a van with a bunch of other adolescents and this girl who was sitting next to him struck up a conversation about how homosexuals feel as they enter the phase of life where they start noticing their biologically-assigned gender of interest, just as we heteros do. Zach had apparently never talked to nor been talked to about this topic by his parents, which I found strange in a family where this played a significant part, and in which there was a commendable openness about maturity and values and so on. It struck me as a strange gap in the story.

I have to take issue with Zach on his assertion that the United States is not a theocracy. No, we don't have a Pope or an Imam or a Rabbi running the country, but you pretty much can't get elected, and sure as hell couldn't become president if you don't hold - or at least don't profess - strong religious beliefs. Can you imagine an out atheist ever becoming president? The Democrats might run one, but the Republicans would pillory him or her and the election would be lost to such a candidate. It's never going to happen. So while the US isn't a theocracy like some Middle East and Asian nations, it is without question one of the most dedicatedly fundamentalist nations on the planet, more so than places like Iran and Pakistan.

On this same topic, I also have to remind him that while he is right in asserting that the urge to show kindness is "...a sentiment found in religious texts of all kinds...", many of those same religious texts contain passages demanding that you shall not suffer a witch to live, and you will stone to death female adulterers, and so on. Religion is a mess. It's a double-edged sword, and the only benign religion is to have none. It's antiquated and unnecessary.

This is really Zach's 'life story' more than it is about his two moms, so the title is a bit misleading, but in the end it is about Zach, because the assault on the family, of which the right-wing constantly bleats, isn't coming from gay marriage, but from clueless, heartless, and all-too-often psychotic religious zealots who are trying to dictate to the rest of us - based on nothing more than the ignorant scribblings of old primitive men - how we should live our lives.

Yes, it's a fact there was no god who wrote the Bible. Rest assured it was written by men who had no clue about our modern world - and little clue about anything else, yet these myopic right-wing zealots are now trying to hold that over our heads and dictate to the rest of us that an antique, blinkered Middle-Eastern view of the world is what should rule our lives.

If these hypocrites were living that life themselves, then I would be far less outraged about their arrogance (although still outraged!), but the plain fact is that they are not. Not a single one of these people actually follows the Bible teachings. They pick and choose which Biblical dictates they're willing to adopt and which to reject, and they live by the one and conveniently ignore or forget all the others. Then they turn around and lie that they are holier than the rest of us horrible sinners. They're hypocrites every last one of them and they should not even be given the time of day let alone taken seriously, period.

They sure as hell shouldn't be allowed to dictate to people who should be allowed to fall in love and marry and who should not. I recommend this book as a very worthy and moving read.