Friday, January 9, 2015

Ryder: American Treasure by Nick Pengelly


Title: Ryder: American Treasure
Author: Nick Pengelly (no website found)
Publisher: Random House
Rating: WORTHY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

Errata:
On page 8 in the Adobe Digital Editions version, there is the full name of the Israeli organization, the Mossad, but one of the characters in the name is rendered as a box with an X in it (X-Box!). In the iPad Bluefire version, there is no problem with this name.
"...cavalry have arrived" is Wong. Calvary is singular. it should be "...cavalry has arrived"

This novel is a mix of Indiana Jones, James Bond, and Robert Langdon, and I found it to be, overall, a worthy read despite some issues I had with it.

I love irony! On page nine of this novel, I read, "…the capitol the British had looted and burned in 1814, during the war of 1812…." This phrase was highly amusing to me because it makes it look like the British were two years late (and a dollar short) with their burning and looting, doesn’t it? The fact is that "the war of 1812" did indeed run for three years!

It’s important to this story because of the burning down of the White House. The conceit here is that something possibly taken from the White House at that time, a letter which might impinge upon the success of a candidate in the current US election campaign, was believed to have ended up in the possession of Lord Kitchener.

A problem I had here was with one of the central premises of this novel: it's not really believable! The contention is that a past US president knew of a spy in a high level position, yet did nothing about it. In that era, where spies were rapidly dispatched via rope or rifle, this made no sense to me, but there's a really nice twist at the end that I did appreciate.

1812 was quite a year. It was a leap year. It was the year when Lord Byron first addressed the House of Lords, the year Robert Browning, Charles Dickens, and Edward Lear were born, and Sacagawea died, and it was the year in which Napoleon introduced metric measurements in France and begun his ill-fated invasion of Russia. It was not the year in which Tchaikovsky wrote his 1812 Overture to commemorate Russia's defence of its homeland against Napoleon.

This novel is the middle of what's so far a trilogy: Ryder, Ryder: American Treasure, and Ryder: Bird of Prey. I have not read any of the others, but I plan on doing so, having found this to my taste, but nevertheless hoping for better in other volumes.

It's about Ayesha Ryder and her tracking down of this "treasure". Ayesha is tall and dusky, of Middle Eastern origin and already accomplished when the novel begins (from the previous volume, Ryder). She's at a ceremony where she was presented with the British George Cross for her services to the nation. She's trying to calculate how quickly she can leave this event without seeming rude, but she's trapped by the formidable trio of Dame Imogen Worsley, the head of MI5 (the Brit equivalent of the FBI), Susannah Armstrong, the Brit prime minister, and the American Secretary of State, Diana Longshore. How cool is that?

Yes, all women. I really want to know why it takes a male writer to put a host of women in prominent positions?! I've read far too many novels by female writers where women are given disturbingly short shrift (if not shift) and it bothers me. I know there are some excellent novels penned by female writers which do give due prominence to female characters, but there is nowhere near enough of these writers.

On the other hand, my fear at that point, once I’d seen this bevy of female influence, was that the author would betray it all by turning Ayesha into some wilting vaporous girl swooning in the arms of some tough American operative as the story progressed. I could only wait and see with baited breath (and baited breath is pretty disgusting when you think about it, so I didn’t like that at all...).

Rest assured that Ayesha turns into no such thing. There was, however, an issue with these powerful women which bothered me and which is hard to discuss without giving away too much, so let me confine myself to saying that lesbianism should be conflated neither with stupidity nor with women in positions of power. The two sets overlap in places, but they are not equal sets!

Ayesha is very much a female Indiana Jones - chasing after the ark of the covenant no less! She's irritated that she's been deflected from her course by some American nonsense in which she has no interest. What she doesn't know is that she's about to come into collision with someone else who has a much greater interest in finding what she's been tasked with uncovering.

In this world which the author has created, Israelis and Palestinians have united and formed a new nation known as the Holy Land, but some movers and shakers in both the US and the Holy land want to return to the days of Israel's independence. There are all kinds of unexpected alliances (and dalliances) and unusual undercurrents in play in this novel, and the power players are not neglected in this wild and crazy interplay, although some of them behave rather foolishly at times and it's a bit hard to credit that a woman would put her position at risk. Unlike men, women know they've not only worked damned hard, but succeeded against the odds to get where they are, and they're not so foolish as to put it all at risk like that. But this is fiction, so I guess it could happen.

As always, no matter how much I may like a given novel, there are issues to be found with it. In this case, the most disturbing one is that Ayesha isn't always presented as the smartest cookie in the box (or, since this is set in Britain, I guess I should say, 'biscuit in the barrel'. I can understand a need to have your prize character have flaws, and to put him or her into gripping situations in a novel like this, but in my opinion, integrity and faithfulness to your character trump excitement every time!

For example, at one point in this story, when under fire, Ayesha could have used a truck to shield her friend and protect him from gunfire, but she never thinks to do it, exposing him to the fire by her thoughtless inaction. Now you can argue that she wasn't thinking straight, but this takes place immediately after we're given a flashback which shows us how admirably cool and calculating she is when her life is threatened.

At another point, someone tries to set her up as a murderer. This stupid given who she is and how well-known and well-connected she is, but the plan is to kill her so she can't clear her name. This is also flawed (as the finale shows!). The author went for dramatics rather than realism, which can sometimes work and be more entertaining, but it can also back-fire. In this case it seems to me that a deadly killer like the one who is after her, would use much a more simple, sure, and direct method of assault. It's issues like this which repeatedly kick a reader out of a story.

At one point Ayesha directly observes an easily-identifiable man planting an object which will set her up as a murder suspect. Immediately afterwards, she runs into a cop who she knocks out. If she had taken a second to tell him that she saw someone plant the object and tell him where it is, before disabling him, she would have been in a lot stronger position. Instead, she knocks him out and runs, and makes herself look guilty.

Indeed, she assaults several police officers quite brutally over the course of her escape, almost killing one, and pays no kind of penalty whatsoever for this. That was too much of a stretch, and her actions only served as a confirmation of her guilt. I began actually disliking her during this part of the story and wondering if I really wanted to read on. I'm sure that's not what the writer intended, but it is what was achieved in my case. It's hard to like characters who are, we're told, smart, but who routinely act foolishly! Fortunately things improved.

Ayesha personally knows some very important people, yet never once does she consider calling any of them to let them know what's going on. Instead she runs like she's guilty, and acts like she's guilty, and thereby digs herself deeper into the hole which has already been opened-up for her by the very people who are trying to set her up! She plays right into their hands, which doesn't make her seem very smart.

Fortunately the villain is even less smart. He's one of these James Bond types who monologues instead of dispatching his captured secret agent and accompanying love interest du jour Fortunately, I was on-board sufficiently with this novel that I was willing to let a few clunkers get by, but I do have my limit! This author managed to avoid exceeding it, and on top of that gave us a non-white, non-American, non-male hero, and I think that deserves encouragement. So here's to more - and steadily improving quality - volumes!


Thursday, January 8, 2015

Of Anime and the Baeci by Alessandra Ebulu


Title: Of Anime and the Baeci (I found no reference to this on B&N or Amazon)
Author: Alessandra Ebulu
Publisher: Less Than Three Press
Rating: WARTY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

The last novel I read from Less Than Three Press I rated positively, but this one I was not able to enjoy in the same way at all. It's one novel where the cover was actually better than what was between it! There was a prologue to this story which I skipped, as I do all prologues. If the author doesn’t think it worth including in chapter one or beyond, I don’t think it worth time reading it. I went straight into the story, but unfortunately it read more like fanfic than an actual story. I read about three-quarters of the way through and skimmed the last 25%.

This is a very short novel - only some 80 pages - but unfortunately, the story made no sense whatsoever to me. Superficially, it begins with two apartment dwellers. One of them is Ray Zielke, and he's disturbed by the loud music and TV show noise from his across-the-hall neighbor. When he goes to complain, he meets Cata Nanuq, a very feminine-looking guy who despises either label, who dresses Asian, and is into anime and manga. It turns out that Cata owns the apartment block, and a physical attraction quickly develops between the two of them, but it’s not a romance - it’s all lust and sex.

There's a twist to this story, however, since the story itself has anime elements to it. Ray isn’t human and is there to protect Cata, who is a Baeci (which describes a person who is externally one gender, but internally of mixed gender). Cata and other baeci are being hunted by another non-human who bathes in and drinks their blood, but Cata knows nothing of this, and Ray has not told him the truth despite being sexually intimate with him.

This is where the story makes no sense. We're told that Ray is specifically there to protect Cata, yet he evidently has no idea who Cata is when he goes over to complain about the loud music as the story begins. He's supposed to be watching over Cata yet he's working a job which occupies a heck of a lot of his time, so he isn't actually free to stand watch, which adequately explains how Cata is apparently abducted from his apartment while Ray is otherwise occupied.

Even then it makes no sense. There is blood on the walls of Cata's apartment, but when advised to seek Cata's 'flame' inside himself, Ray has no problem picking it out and determining that Cata is still alive - yet they still insist upon matching the blood in the apartment with DNA from Cata's toothbrush. Why? If Ray can see he's alive, then why does the blood even matter, and how come he cannot simply track Cata down to his location by his "flame" and save him?

Worse than that, Ray spends the next week not doing a thing to find Cata, but instead, sitting around in Cata's apartment hugging Cata's pillow, and watching anime on Cata's 72 inch TV! If this has been a longer novel, I would have quit reading it right there. Cata then shows up out of the blue with no explanation for his absence and no sign of any abduction or injury.

I cannot recommend this novel at all. It made no sense and had no rationale to it. The relationship between the two main characters had no chemistry at all and was purely sexual, so where was the story? I couldn’t find one to enjoy.


Ruined Abbey by Anne Emery


Title: Ruined Abbey
Author: Anne Emery
Publisher: ECW Press
Rating: WARTY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

This is a prequel to the Collins-Burke mystery series. I don't do series unless they're especially enticing and they rarely are, so this was a good one for me to review since it's not in the middle of anything and can be viewed as a kind of stand-alone. My conclusion having read 33% of it is that I'm definitely not interested in following this series. It's a bit frustrating, because I've had good success with at least one other volume from Entertainment Culture Writing Press.

The story is set in 1989, and starts out rather dramatically with father Brennan Burke, in New York City, receiving a call from his sister Molly, who's in jail in London. She's accused of being a member of a terrorist organization. He gets onto the first flight he can, and miraculously (he is a priest!) manages to get into the prison to see her first thing the next morning. She's soon sprung from jail. Her crime, evidently, was her obsessive-compulsive disorder vis-à-vis Oliver Cromwell. I kid you not. In short, this was all a stinking huge red herring which I actually didn't appreciate.

So right from the off, this novel made little sense. There's no reason a woman would be connected to terrorist organization just because she delivered a lecture complaining about Cromwell's behavior half a millennium before, in Eire. A police detective was also shot in his car that day, too, but although this is mentioned several times, the author never makes any attempt to show how this could possibly be connected with what happened to Molly (not in the portion of this book I read, at any rate. In short, it’s another red herring, and I have no idea why the author chose to juxtapose these two events.

The impression I got from the first few chapters of the novel, in fact, was that of some heavy-duty Brit-bashing going on, although this seemed to assuage after a while. It was weird to read it, especially since those events - the era of IRA terrorism in Ireland, and in cities like Birmingham and London in England - are now history. Maybe in some people's minds, they're still current?

I didn't get all this obsession with Cromwell. There is no doubt that he was a brutal man, but no more so than your average military commander in similar circumstances in what was a brutal era. The invasion led by Cromwell was preceded by the Irish rebellion of 1641, where the Catholics did the same things which Cromwell did, but to English and Scots protestants. The Irish Catholics and royalists also launched another attack right before Cromwell arrived. It's not like Cromwell & co just randomly decided to wander over there and Kilkenny.

Wexford was a different matter. Against Cromwell's wishes (he was trying to negotiate a surrender), his troops let loose of their own accord. Even then, the majority of those who died were military troops. Prior to these events there was, no doubt, something done to the Protestants by the Catholics, and prior to that, something done vice-versa, and so on ad infinitum.

Ultimately, this has nothing whatsoever to do with Cromwell or the English, or the Irish per se, as history has shown. I don't know why those who continue their pointless feud with Cromwell's dead body don't have the same antagonism towards Charles the Second, who betrayed his Irish Catholic allies by discarding the alliance in favor of a new one with the Scots Covenanters. It wasn't royalism, it was business!

The truth is that it was an ongoing religious war and even though, thankfully, the bloody violence is over for now, the religious war has not gone away nor will it, as long as there are religion-blinded factions which ignore their own Bible's injunction to turn the other cheek. In the end it had far less to do with Cromwell and royalists than it did with the Catholicism which Henry the Eighth rejected, and the Protestantism which was sucked into the vacuum that was left, because religion abhors a vacuum.

That said, the biggest issue I had in the first few chapters was in the chronic stereotyping of the Irish characters, making it look like all they were interested in was guzzling alcohol. It was like a page wouldn't pass by without one or other of them referencing alcohol, or planning on going to a pub, or drinking something alcoholic, even if it was only communion wine. Of course, that wasn't alcohol, it was blood. Seriously, this made me pity the characters, and view them with some disdain rather than identify with them. Is this what the author wanted?

The story was really rambling, too, like the author was so proud of the notes she'd compiled on character, plot, and location that she was really loathe to leave anything out. Based on the part I read, this novel could, without losing a single thing, have been edited down from almost four-hundred pages to two or three hundred and lost nothing in the process. In the end, what it did lose was my interest because of the tediously slow pace. I made it to the end of chapter 11, about one third the way through, and decided it was not for me. I'd started skimming paragraphs here and there even before that, because the ironically sober detail was leaving my glass more than half empty. Quite literally nothing was happening other than repeated visits to bars.

The main thrust of the story wasn't Molly's arrest, but her cousin Conn's arrest, and that didn't happen until almost a third of the way in. The novel could have actually begun there, but even when that event happened, nothing changed! I'd hoped at that point that things would finally start moving, but the pace did not pick up! The writing did not become more taut or exciting, and nothing significant transpired! A aged family member expired, but that was it. The entire story continued to plod on in the same old way, but I refused to plod with it. Life is too short, especially when there are huddled masses of potentially exciting novels invading my shore, clamoring to be heard.


Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Veronika Layne Gets the Scoop by Julia Park Tracey


Title: Veronika Layne Gets the Scoop
Author: Julia Park Tracey
Publisher: Libertary Co
Rating: WORTHY!

(I initially believed that Julia Park Tracey didn't know how to spell gravy (she adds an unfortunate penultimate 'e'), and that's how I opened this review, but I'm told by two people - neither of which appears to be the author! - that this was deliberate, so evidently I missed something! Believe it or not, that happens, so strike that one!). Thanks Betsy and Tuscany for keeping me honest!)

I'm not sure if main character Veronika is my kind of person, though. She abuses alcohol to a horrifying degree, and was liberally sprinkled with tats (of which I'm not a fan), which amusingly seemed to be all along a Little Mermaid theme, but that said, she was strong, diligent, smart (for the most part!), inventive, industrious, and really interesting, so she had a heck of a lot going for her which is why I liked her as a character. It was like the author had read my playbook before endowing her character with some of her traits, in particular, her environmental views. A lot of the time, she sounds exactly like me in her thinking and her rather caustic or humorous observations of life around her. It felt a bit weird!

Here's another way this got me: I'm not a fan of first person PoV, but in this case, it was done in a non-nauseating way, so even that wasn't an issue. It never felt like I was reading, "Hey look at MEEEEEE! How important am IIIIIII?", so I'm eternally grateful to the author for that! I'm not a fan of series, either, unless they're well done. All too often, they're merely a cynical and lazy way of making a buck by substituting tired templates for actual creative work, repeating the same story with only a twist or two here and there to try and warm it over, so it is indeed a compliment that I'm interested in reading future volumes in the "Hot Off the Press" series, of which this is volume 1.

As much as I loved this novel, I had, as you know if you read my blog, one or two inevitable issues. The only serious one of these was when Veronika bikes down to the building site one Saturday morning and sees the bulldozers churning-up what look like Native American shell burial mounds, and what look (to her) like bones. Instead of using her camera to take pictures, she panics and causes a scene, and then has to call in a man to man-handle her vaporous womanly ways - or her frantic teenage ways, however you wish to categorize it. I was a bit saddened by that, but willing to forgive it since it was that one time - and no character should be perfect since no person is. Besides, what are friends for?

There's another issue directly related to that one, which is that Veronika seems to have Eona syndrome, whereby (as in the dilogy of the same name), she has all the facts, but can't arrive at an intelligent and logical deduction from them. She ought to know exactly how long-time friend Aiden feels about her, but she's completely blind to it. This was the sole example of a trope or cliché which registered with me in this novel. Other than that, the novel as brilliantly written, studiously avoiding the common pitfalls, and being all the better for it. I salute the author for providing an object lesson to clueless YA and adult writers how to actually tell a good, original, and engrossing story.

Veronika's alcohol abuse was an issue because first of all it's always an issue and secondly, and more importantly in the context of the writing, it seemed out of keeping with her health-minded attitude to what she puts into her body, and in particular with her vegan mind-set. Veronika is a latter-day hippie, truth be told, with the tats, the body-piercings, and her dress sense and diet, but she drinks strong coffee and also alcohol to a disturbing degree.

Not that vegans can't do such things by any means, but it seemed to be too far out of her character zone to me. Maybe I misread her character! But again, these things happen in real life, so it wasn't a death-blow to my enjoyment of the novel. I just felt that if you were going to imbue her with some necessary flaws, there were better ones to give her than these. OTOH, she's not that long out of college, so maybe there's some maturing lying-in-wait for her there?

Veronika's sex life was a curious one, because it was conducted entirely in her mind, yet there was nothing in the text to indicate that she was fantasizing. I learned great caution after that first time, and so I almost didn't believe it was happening for real when it actually did. I was amused by that one - the sexual escapade described at the end of chapter 25, between Veronika and one of the other main characters. It was written as poetically as it was perversely, so I couldn't tell if the author had deliberately (and I do mean with deliberation) chosen to be lyrical and playful, or if she was just really shy about writing about that particular kind of sexual encounter. Or maybe I completely misunderstood what she was describing? Ha!

If that doesn't make you want to read this novel, then nothing will!

I'd say something about he cover: how its exploitative and has nothing whatsoever to do with the story or the main character, but the cover is rarely in the hands of the writer unless they self-publish, so let's leave that alone, shall we?! But on the other side of this coin, I've had good success with Libertary Co. They published The Girls: Sappho Goes to Hollywood by Diana McLellan which I favorably reviewed last month.

So, overall, 100 thumbs up for this one. This novel and the precious few others like it are what makes it worth going through a dozen or two other annoying and predictable novels, because it's this one - this kind of story, the one the author really nailed, that I'm looking for.

It was beautiful, gorgeously written, with great characters and, amazingly, a wonderful plot! It was told well, in great English, and had just enough extraneous detail to make it feel realistic, without getting bogged down in reams of pretty prose which take the story nowhere.

I thoroughly recommend this one and if the author is seeking beta readers for the next volume, I'm in!


It's the End of the World As We Know It by Saci Lloyd


Title: It's the End of the World As We Know It
Author: Saci Lloyd
Publisher: Hachette
Rating: WARTY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

Erratum:
In this book, there are so many deliberate misspellings that it's hard to tell what's intentional and what's not, but for the record, it's 'au naturel', not 'au natural'.

In this novel, chapter one starts on page five. It had a prologue. I skipped it. The Adobe Digital Editions version what a bit weird - it didn't recognize page numbers as you can see from the images on my blog. Type in page "27" and it tells you there's no page 27! I can assure you there was, as indeed there was a page 35!

The main male character is Mikey Malone, whose only interest is in getting into a girl's pants - and I don't mean he wanted to wear them. His inevitable female counterpart is Kix Kaloux who is inevitably hostile, so we all know exactly Where this relationship is headed.

Due to unspecified activity at CERN - the site of the Large Hadron Collider which is largely in France (with bits of it in Switzerland), and the place where, on July 4th, 2012, came the discovery of what appears to be the long sought-after Higgs boson, a rip is opened in space-time connecting Mikey's world (our world) with Kix's world - where things are so cool they're actually nauseating, but which is a dystopian world, nonetheless.

If had been just that, it might have been bearable, but Kix's world is weirdness squared - and sometimes cubed - and for me it wasn't a good thing. One of the main characters was the miniature bot named Bitzer, who became really annoying really fast. I have no idea what the author was intent upon creating, but it felt vaguely racist to me.

Pretty much the sole defining trait of Bitzer was that his speech had all the 'S's replaced with 'Z's. The result of this, from an auditory PoV was pointless because it sounded exactly the same, so I don't get why this was done other than as a rather pretentious attempt to make the text seem cooler, I guess.

A standard Bitzer sentence would be something like , "Thatz what we'z trying to work out. Quit it with the dramatix." It didn't work for me. Neither did the bizarre naming of the cube characters: Σëë and DØØ, who were given a variety of dyslexia for no apparent reason. Maybe this will appeal to younger kids?

Another annoyance was the authors insistence upon spelling out sounds to an irritating degree. At one point (p65) the word 'ping' was repeated 51 times. I really, really appreciated that. In fact, I dub it 'Area 51' in its own honor. My life could not have been as complete as it is today without this unique contribution to literature. In the end, that's what this novel became - a meaningless string of annoyances matched for sound and color, and it wasn't even that which turned me off. It was the sinking feeling in my stomach that this could have been so much more.

Please note that the role of the tracker-jacker in this novel is taken by the 'calabrones', little electronic hornets. Everyone throws up their arms at these evil little bugs, claiming helplessness and fleeing to hide amongst the tigallos (tiger buffalo hybrids - and yes, inexplicably two 'L's), when all it would take was a little EMP and the hornets would have been completely disabled. In the end a new too-cute-for-words character shows up ex machina and brings them down with honey, claiming he doesn't work in a bio-lab lab and learn nothing. Evidently, in his case he does, since these weren't biological organisms, but it made as much sense as the rest of this novel.

Mikey is so dumb that despite seeing how utterly different this parallel world is to his own, he's nevertheless convinced that somewhere in this world he has an inevitable counterpart Mikey who is inevitably getting into some girl's pants - and I don't mean he's wearing them. Mikey is completely obnoxious in all dimensions.

One third of the way through this novel, Kix observes, "We're in a hole, BitZ." and I couldn't agree more. That's where I climbed out of this hole and ditched this novel. Life is too short to waste on stories which don't completely thrill you. I moved on to a different universe.


Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Deadly Accounts by CR Wiley


Title: Deadly Accounts
Author: CR Wiley (no website found)
Publisher: Amazon Digital Services
Rating: WARTY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

The author of this novel actually emailed me and asked me to remove this review from Amazon because "...it contains so many spoilers and plot points that it could end up ruining the story ...". I disagree, and there was a warning at the head of the review on Amazon just like this: WARNING! MAY CONTAIN UNHIDDEN SPOILERS! PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK!

Detailed reviewing and discussion of writing is what my blog does, so I refused to accede to censorship and outright remove it, but as a pure courtesy I did remove parts of it and refer readers to Goodreads, or to my blog. Since I don't plan on reading anything else by this author, I consider this matter closed.

Note, please don't confuse CR Wiley with author RC Wiley or you're risking ending up paying a hundred and forty some dollars for a paperback!

So, gorgeous cover, nothing to do with the story as usual! This story recounts the adventures of Nora Wexler, a new FBI agent, which is hilariously, how her colleague introduces her to his family. I found that rather strange. Would someone really introduce a colleague like that rather than just saying, "This is my colleague, Nora."? Why introduce her as a new FBI agent?

Yes, if the guy was really nervous or inept, he might, but that's not what Agent Greer has shown himself to be - quite the opposite, in fact, so he didn't sound realistic to me, phrasing it that way. It sounded more like the author had forgotten that this had already been established, and tried to establish it in that way.

This wasn't the only odd thing which caught my attention. Throughout this novel, Travis Greer was always referred to as Travis in the narrative, whereas Nora Wexler was always Wexler. Why? I've seen a lot of writing where females are referred to by first name whereas males are just the last name, so was this to try and balance that out? It was just odd and distracting! Why not use both firsts or both lasts?

Nora is new and idealistic, and obsessed with going after Internet offenders of one kind or another - mostly pedophiles and stalkers. This brings her into conflict with her boss, who wants her to focus on bigger pictures - such as terrorism. Nora gets a break when someone begins stalking three women who are successful and independent, who meet once in a while as friends, and who now find themselves under the brutal attention of a psycho.

Nora's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. At one point she introduces her self with: "...my name is agent Nora Wexler". No! Her name is Nora Wexler. Her professional title is 'agent'. She should simply say "I'm Agent Nora Wexler." It doesn't make a character look smart if they introduce themselves this way, although it does happen more often than is helpful. We don't improve our readership by talking down to them, we improve them by lifting them up to join us.

Their first encounter with this fate is when Jenny Iverson receives a parcel containing what appears to be her missing cat's head. Next, her friend Erin Clausson discovers that her assistant, Ricardo Lantham has been 'poisoned'. Finally, Lyla Robbex is targeted via her high-school age daughter, whose new car is bombed. Fortunately, Lori wasn't in the car when the bomb went off.

Very soon, Wexler and Greer have a suspect - Christopher Walden - in their sights. I didn't buy it though! It was too early in the book, and there was no evidence other than the single fact that he'd had one date with each of the three women (not that any of them knew he'd dated the other two as well). They were evidently all using a dating site on which he was also a member.

My suspect, pretty much as soon as I "met" her, and for reasons I can't really articulate, was Clausson. Like I said, I don't know why, and I'm sure not going to spoil it by telling if I was right or wrong (I'm usually wrong, FYI!), but that was where my money, for better or for worse, went. I was probably wrong because when I quit reading this it seemed like there was a much more realistic suspect (than the first one identified in this novel) in the agents' sights.

The really weird thing is that the FBI agents, one and all, were completely convinced right away that this initial person of interest was their guy! Based on this flimsy evidence, they were able to invade his home, search it and lie in wait for him arriving home from work I found that hard to swallow, and I sure hope the FBI isn't so gullible that they can so easily convince themselves of their rectitude based on a coincidence, when there's nothing else whatsoever condemning him. I hope our judges are not so clueless as to grant search warrants based on such flimsy 'evidence', either. OTOH, they have done some really dumb stuff.

Truth be told, by the time I was a third of the way through this novel, I was seriously starting to doubt the smarts of our two FBI agents. Lori, the girl who was almost blown up, was rolling in money which her mother could not have given to her, yet neither the agents nor her own mom seemed seriously interested in pursuing that damning fact!

In addition to this, and as he left Lori's hospital room with Wexler, Agent Greer noticed that someone was spying on them from a closet, yet he never stopped the elevator and went to find out who this was. I'm sorry, but this is at best incompetence, and at worst, gross negligence on his part, and made me lose a lot of faith in this story. I don't mind law-enforcement having road-blocks to overcome, but when the roadblocks are glaringly artificial, or make the main characters just look stupid, I can't help but find the writing wanting.

Another issue I had was that the poisoning episode wasn't food poisoning (the immediate suspect), but potassium chloride poisoning. KCl is essentially the same as NaCL - the sodium chloride with which fast food joints baby-powder your fries. It's salt. It never fails to fascinate me that you can get a deadly poisonous gas (which was used to kill people in World War One, and which is still used to wipe-out germs in bleach) and mix it with a metal which explodes on contact with water, then sprinkle the result on your fries, and they taste great! Better living through chemistry....

The problem is that while KCl is used as part of the lethal injection trilogy of chemicals, it actually does have to be injected. You can't eat it and die. Well, technically, you can, but you'd have to consume so much at once that you'd end up throwing-up. So this had to be delivered via a needle, yet we don't learn of this from the coroner who should have been looking for a needle site as soon as he or she discovered what the cause of death was! More incompetence.

As it happens, Nora is on the verge of being dumped from the case and sent back home because of her incompetence, but of course, the psycho comes to her rescue. Now he's sent a taunting email to her, and just as she's reading it in her room before getting ready to take a plane back home, some guy shows up at the door to the B&B where she's staying, and the owner shows him up to Nora's room. Nora has no idea whatsoever who this guy is, but she blindly assumes it's the psycho without any evidence whatsoever - in short, she makes exactly the same mistake which got her thrown off the case!

Worse than this, she could have apprehended the perp right there (if it was him), but she ran away! Seriously? She could have called the FBI, but instead she texts Greer for help! Double seriously? Instead of opening the door and confronting him, thereby taking him by surprise, she dives out the window. Instead of seeking out his vehicle, which would have been easy, and getting a line on him, and even disabling it, she hides by the front door to the B&B until the owner comes back out. By this time, the visitor has gone and the lead has been lost. Nora Wexler is the worse law enforcement officer ever.

It was at this point that I decided I didn't care who the perp was or how she, he, or it was brought to justice. This novel was not something in which I had any more interest when there are better reads begging for my attention. I cannot in good faith recommend this novel.


Mac on the Road to Marseille by Christopher Ward


Title: Mac on the Road to Marseille
Author: Christopher Ward
Publisher: Dundurn
Rating: WARTY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

I've had good success with books from Dundurn Press, but in this case, I simply could not get into this story at all from song-writer Christopher Ward. It was rambling and dissipated and offered no clue as to where it was going. My only clue came from the blurb, but you'd never have any hint of this from the opening few chapters of this story, which is what I mean by rambling and dissipated.

Worse than this, it was set in France! Don't get me wrong - this alone was a good thing as far as it went. We need far more novels NOT set in the US, so US young adults actually realize that there's a world west of Cape Blanco, Oregon, and East of West Quoddy Head in Maine, and south of Key West, Florida, and north of Northwest Angle, Minnesota! Maybe that way, US young adults might not place next to last in geography surveys!

And yes, I'm highly amused by the idea that the easternmost point is named "West" and the southernmost point is also named "West"! LOL!

That said, the problem with setting this in France is that the author evidently thought that the best way to establish a French atmosphere was to annoyingly pepper the text libéralement de français mots et phrases. See what I mean? Annoying, n'est-ce-pas? The truth is that while this might serve to allow to author to sing, "Hey, look how multi-cultural I am!" It did nothing whatsoever to establish that this story actually was taking place in France. Maybe it was Canada? Or Haiti? Côte d'Ivoire?

The story is told in deux parts, which are no doubt destined to converge. The première is the theft of La Joconde from the Louvre. What's that, you ask? Well, it's a big building in Paris, with paintings and sculptures, but that's not important right now. Seriously, it's the Mona Lisa, which actually has been stolen, but never so easily as it was here.

The second part is where fifteen-year-old Mackenzie discovers that there is to be a New Year's taxi road rally, and talks her dumb-ass parents into letting her ride unescorted with a "hulking cabbie" named "Blag Lebouef" Seriously? These names are a joke, and this entire premise is absurde.

I actually didn't get that far because I got so bored out of my gourd with reading the rambling, endlessly rambling, tiresomely rambling, and oh, did I mention fastidieux randonnée story that I couldn't stand to pursue it beyond chapter five. I can't recommend it based on what I read. It's verruqueux! There, did I convey the impression that this blog was set in France? Je ne le pense pas....


Monday, January 5, 2015

The God Project by Stanley R Lee


Title: The God Project
Author: Stanley R Lee
Publisher: Brash Books
Rating: WARTY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

Today is Stan Lee day on my blog, but note that this author isn't the Stan Lee of Marvel comics fame (although Barnes & Noble's web site is stupid enough to have his picture tied to this book, and Amazon idiotically conflates him with the better-known Stan Lee!). He's a completely different guy, Stanley R Lee, who died in 1997. While it's nice that this work is still freshly available I hope the recompense for it is going to a good cause.

This one starts out with a long, long, long, rambling section about a US election, which I skimmed because it was tedious. One page (p34) even has a tabulated election results list. This (the rambling, not the results list!) went on, and on, and on forever. Once I got into the habit of skimming, it was hard to stop, especially since the "story" continued in this vein: rambling about political dancing, and good old boys, and government kibitzing, and back room meetings. I'm sure the author intended the story to go somewhere eventually, but after a hundred pages or so of this, it was simply uninteresting to me and I gave up! I can’t recommend it based on what I read.


Dunn's Conundrum by Stanley R Lee


Title: Dunn's Conundrum
Author: Stanley R Lee
Publisher: Brash Books
Rating: WARTY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

Today is Stan Lee day on my blog, but note that this author isn't the Stan Lee of Marvel comics fame (although Barnes & Noble's web site is stupid enough to have his picture tied to this book, and Amazon idiotically conflates him with the better-known Stan Lee!). He's a completely different guy, Stanley R Lee, who died in 1997. While it's nice that this work is still freshly available I hope the recompense for it is going to a good cause.

I have to say up front that this book was a study in inconsistency in modern publishing. I first began reading it on the Kindle, and there were multiple problems: every word which had 'th' in it had a blank in place of 'th'. There was also a blank in place of 'wo', and a blank in place of 'ft', and that was just on the first two screens! This would have resulted (purely as an example) in the sentence, "There was the worst bafflement in those on the left" being rendered "_ere was _e _rst ba_ement in _ose on the le_" (note that I used an underscore for the blank space, for clarity).

Fortunately the Adobe Digital Editions version was free of these problems, but I've encountered other novels where the reverse was the problem: the ADE version being far from perfect and the Kindle version perfectly legible. My question is "Why?" This is no longer an era of some poor guy (or much more rarely some poor woman) having to pick out lead letters from a series of drawers and patiently line them up, rank and file, in a tray. This is the era of e-publishing, so I can find no excuse whatsoever for poor spelling or formatting, not even in a so-called "galley" proof.

That said I had to DNF this novel even in the readable format because I simply could not get into it no matter how I tried to focus on it. I don't know what it was, and I couldn't get past it. Page after page was just boring to me. I sincerely hope others have more luck with it than I did, but it didn't speak to me at all. It just had nothing to offer me and pull me in.

The story is about an absurdly named secret US government organization named 'The Library' (trust me, the TV show is better), which spies on the Russians, as absurd as that is (for when this was written). There's a traitor amongst them, however, and it's up to a Sherlock Holmes type amongst them to ferret him out before the world ends. Yeah, it's like that, but it wasn't for me.


Sunday, January 4, 2015

You Know Who I Am by Diane Patterson


Title: You Know Who I Am
Author: Diane Patterson
Publisher: Airgead Publishing (no website found)
Rating: WARTY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

This is another in a long line for first person PoV novels - my least favorite voice. It's also part of a series, which I shy from advisedly. This is book two, book one being hilariously titled, The Sound of Footsteps and book three being Everybody Takes the Money. Given book two, book one has to be the real mystery here, but I've read nothing else by this author, so I can't comment.

Some writers can carry first person, but most of the time I find it irritating, so it's with real gratitude to the author in this case that I found it unobtrusive - it didn't feel like ME ME ME all the time. That said, I did not like this novel, and couldn't finish it.

I don't know who Airgead Publishing is - I'd never heard of them and they have no website that I could readily find, so perhaps it's an invention of the author's, but my beef with them is the covers, all three of which feature some woman's legs and nothing else, yet nothing in this particular story - as far as I read, that is - had anything to do with the main character's legs or anyone else's for that matter. If the stories are so engrossing, then why do we need a woman's legs to sell them? It's a valid question!

"Ah, but isn't that exactly what you did in your novel, Seasoning?" you ask. Yes, indeed it is, but in that case, the novel had everything to do with the main character's legs since she was a soccer player! The juxtaposition of the high heel on a soccer ball summed-up that novel exquisitely since she was a young adult woman competing in a macho man's world. I make no apologies for cutting to the chase in that case.

In this novel I do have to say that the opening chapter is really quite dramatic, but it's also somewhat problematical. The chapter starts with Colin and Drusilla Abbot, who perform a knife-throwing act in Las Vegas. They're having a spat - while the act is in progress! We learn that this is because, before the show, Dru had told him she was leaving the show, him, and Las Vegas. Given what we learn about her husband here, this simply makes Dru look stupid (to tell him right before he's about to throw knives at her?!), and I have to wonder why a writer would choose to do that to a female character if it wasn't a critical part of the story. From the part that I read, it was not.

Yes, some women and some men truly are stupid, but let's not label them so if we don't have to! It seems to me that this could have been written so that he found out about her plans without her overtly telling him. That, for me, would have been more dramatic and unnerving, and would not have announced loudly up front that the main character is clueless.

There were a couple of other issues. As it happens, Colin doesn't stab her during the act, but he does throw one knife sufficiently close that it breaks her skin. It's nothing huge, just a paper cut in effect, yet Dru is clenching her teeth to avoid screaming, and they're pulling out the antiseptic and bandages rather than just applying a simple Band-Aid! Seriously? Now she's both stupid and a wuss. Do we really need to heap this on her, and especially in the opening few pages? Do you want me to perceive her as a strong character, or merely as a clown?!

On top of this there's a third person in the act, Kristin, who's from London, we're told. She's also represented as being stupid, but that's not the worst issue here. That one arises when we're told that she's ten thousand miles from home - yet London is less than six thousand miles from Vegas! It's nowhere near ten thousand. If this novel is going to go the distance with me, a simple thing like gaging distances ought not to be a major problem.

So this novel didn't get off to the most auspicious start for me, especially not when I read, "...his fingers digging into my bicep...". Nope. Once again, it's 'biceps', folks! Although as often as I'm reading this in various novels, it looks like we're undergoing yet another change in our language caused by lazy writing habits.

Dru was a moderately interesting character, but her younger sister Stevie even more so. I think it would have made for a better story had it been about Stevie, because Dru was truly infuriating at times, whereas Stevie was genuinely interesting. We're told (not shown) how protective Dru is of her sister. Stevie has agoraphobia and some other issues, yet when Dru makes her break from Colin, she ends up picking up an actor in a bar and going off with him to his home leaving Stevie sitting alone in the bar with her glass of milk! Stevie isn't stupid, but anything could have happened, yet not once does Dru spare a single thought about Stevie's safety or welfare.

As it happens, Gary, the actor, changes his mind, but he offers Dru the use of his guest house - which is evidently what she was angling for. The problem is that there was no way she was guaranteed any of that happening. Meanwhile poor Stevie is waiting in the bar, in ignorance of Dru's plans and whereabouts as an hour or two tick by! I started really not liking Dru at this point, which I'm sure wasn't the author's intended outcome.

While I liked the relationship between Dru and Stevie (apart from that particular incident just described), the one between Dru and Colin was nonsensical. We're told at the start that the only reason they married was that Dru was short of cash and Colin was willing to pay handsomely for a marriage of convenience so he could get his green card. The problem is that Dru isn't American! She and her sister are British. It's never mentioned that they became citizens, so how is marriage to her supposed to secure a green card for Colin? Colin is Australian, although why an Australian would be seeking US citizenship isn't explained, so for me this whole thing was confusing from the off.

Maybe this was all explained in volume one, but since we're told nothing of what happens in volume one, we're in ignorance, if this is the first volume we read. As it happens, this is the last volume I plan on reading because I didn't think this one was worth any more of my time and effort - not when there are hundreds of books beckoning, all of which pomise a great story, rather than a story which grates.


The Same Sky by Amanda Eyre Ward


Title: The Same Sky
Author: Amanda Eyre Ward
Publisher: Random House
Rating: WARTY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

The Same Sky is a title which is somewhat over-used. This one is written by a fellow central Texan named Amanda Ward (although I don't know her) and is about Carla and Alice. You can tell this purely from reading the contents, which consists of a long list of 50 alternating chapters titled "Carla" or "Alice", but the novel is less than 200 pages, so the chapters are extremely short.

As soon as I saw those interleaved names I realized with a sinking feeling that this was going to be a another dual first-person PoV novel and I cringed just from that. First person rarely works for me. It's way too much to believe that someone - or in this case two someones - would have such eidetic recall that they could remember every single detail about a series of events, including verbatim conversations, and especially when one of them is a youngster living on the poverty line with a lot more on her mind than telling stories. This is why it's unrealistic to me, particularly in this case.

On top of that, there's a certain arrogant selfishness about the 1PoV format - whereby it's all about ME!!!. All the time! Nothing but me! It can be well done, but for me, more often than not, it makes my skin crawl. With a print book, in a book store or on a library shelf, you can look inside and see if it's 1PoV and quickly put it back on the shelf, as I normally do. With ebooks, it's a lot harder, especially if they're so-called "galley proofs" (which no books truly are any more in this electronic era) because you don't get that same chance to see inside. All you get is the publisher's own blurb, which by it's very nature is at best, suspect, and which never reveals the PoV. I think books like this should come with a government health advisory like on cigarettes:

WARNING: This format may be damaging to your nerves and sanity.

The novel starts on page nine rather than page one, and I felt I might be in trouble on only the seventh line, where the narrator (Carla) describes a favorite dress which split along the back seam, and her grandmother "stitched it back together with a needle and thread." What else would she stitch it with? A stapler? A sliver of bone and sinew? That struck me as really amusing, and didn't endow me with a lot of confidence, especially not in the context of the info-dump which had been going on from line one.

It turns out that Carla is a girl resident in Tegucigalpa. I don't get what she means when she says that she had imagined "...what it would be like to kiss every boy in our village". Tegucigalpa isn't a village! It's the largest city in Honduras, where poverty and urban decay is rife. Carla's mother somehow managed to make it to Texas as an illegal immigrant, but Carla and her brothers were left behind.

Maybe Carla is talking about some other Tegucigalpa? No, the location is confirmed by the mention of Comayagüela across the river. I can only assume she was talking about her little ghetto, but describing it as a village made no sense to me. It made it sound sweet and idyllic, and it was far from either.

On the very next page I read that Carla "...had two twin brothers"! It made me wonder just how many there are in a set of twins. I'd always thought it was just the two. It bothered me how much Carla was focused on marriage and having children. I don't know if this is a common mind-set in Honduras once your belly is reasonably full. Maybe it is, but it was truly sad, especially when she had so much else with which she was forcibly preoccupied.

The more I read of this story, the less it made sense to me, and it was this which quickly wore me down and turned me off it. So yes, Carla's mom went to Texas to make money, but she never appears to send any back to Carla's grandmother. It seems like all she sends are dresses, shoes, and T-shirts, and primarily for Carla. I have to assume she sent other stuff back, but the descriptive writing is so sparse that there's no sense of that imparted at all. For all I know, she could be sending only stuff for Carla. Either that, or Carla is withholding information, which means she's an unreliable narrator and we can't trust anything she's telling us.

We're expected to believe that Carla and her family live in near-poverty, yet they have a phone, and they eat pretty well. I don't get that Carla's mom sent her high heels, either. Seriously? Where's she going to wear those? The family lives in a really poor part of the city, where crime is rife. What's going to happen when thieves see this little girl dressed in her finery?

The story seemed to be all about conspicuous consumption, and not at all about the quality of life - unless you count the routine recounting of violence and death - with the rhythm of a high-school marching band - as some sort of quality of life. It just became depressing after a while to keep reading this. Every single thing was negative, negative negative.

I don't mind this in a story when it's leavened by other things, but here it was all negative, all the time, and it was just depressing and off-putting. One of the kids (one of those two twins, remember?) for example, and without preamble or warning, is unceremoniously dumped into the trunk of a car and taken somewhere - exactly for what purpose isn't explained. Who arranged this isn't explained.

Dad is nowhere on the scene, Mom is living in Texas. The only person there with authority is grandma. Did she arrange it? Did mom approve? Did mom even know what her mom was doing with her own child? Did she care? Why it was this even 'necessary' given that the family seemed to have enough to eat (and had fine clothes and a phone) isn't explained. None of this made any sense whatsoever to me.

On the Alice side of the story, Alice and Jake are living in Austin, Texas. Alice is a double mastectomy survivor as a result of a lump found in one of her breasts. She went the same radical route as did Angelina Jolie recently. It was after this that she met Jake and they hooked-up. She can't have children, presumably because of chemo (and no one thought to 'harvest her eggs', evidently - or if they did, we're kept in the dark about it). As it happens, this is fine with Jake, yet Alice is obsessing over it now, and unsuccessfully trying to adopt a kid.

We're told of many failures and of one instance where they actually had the child brought to their home and then suddenly whisked away again as the mom had second thoughts? I didn't get that. What kind of operation was this? If it was official, it could never happen that way. Once a woman has officially given up her child, she doesn't get to just take it back like that. If it's not an official process, then Alice got what she deserved for gaming the system.

Some of the writing was a bit off for me, too. For example, there's a conversation on page thirty-five which in some parts made zero sense. Alice is given some information and asked a favor of by Principal Markson - principal of exactly what isn't quite clear - some Austin school, evidently. Again the descriptive prose is lacking.

What relationship Alice has with Markham isn't clear either, but she meets with her one day and is told that the school's psychologist is being laid off and they'd like Alice to volunteer time to help with troubled children. Alice has a master's in Eng. Lit. and is not a mom, and works at a restaurant evidently, (as opposed say, to a day-care facility or a pediatric hospital), so she's hardly the most qualified person in the world to counsel children. Here's how a small part of the conversation goes:

"One of the positions we'll be losing is the full-time school psychologist. Juliet Swann - do you know her?"
I shook my head.
"She might be a vegetarian, now that I think of it,' said Principal Markson. "Or a vegan? Not sure. There's usually a big yogurt labeled with her name in the staff refrigerator...."
"Well that would explain it," I said.

That was a monstrous Whisky-Tango-Foxtrot moment for me. That piece of writing is evidently fast-tracked to advance placement in non-sequitur! I actually got a bad case of whiplash from snapping my head around. What the heck does that exchange even mean? I don't know! I don't think I want to! She's vegetarian because she eats yogurt? She's a school psychologist because she's a vegetarian? She's a vegetable and that's why they're laying her off? I don't know!

If this was a comedy, then that kind of a conversation would have been funny, but to discover it stuck there like a squashed fly on an otherwise pristine window was just completely weird. And I'm tired of vegetarian bashing when they're doing one thing which can help starving children: rejecting the "meat animals" to which we feed tons of corn that could, if it were not selfishly squandered on our "stock", be fed to those starving children. Admittedly, it's asking a lot to expect beef-fed Texans to get that!

Another weird instance is when Carla, traveling north to find her mom, recalls things from the Internet. How was this possible? She was poor, so we're expected to believe. Yes, she had food, but Internet? Was this at school? If so, how come she was allowed to read such bad stuff at school? Again it makes no sense.

The biggest problem for me however, is the fact that both Carla, the ten year old, and Alice, the mature woman, speak with exactly the same voice. To me, there was no discernible difference between them. They were different ages, different circumstances, different nationalities, and yet they had the same voice!

That was pretty much it, for me. I couldn't face reading any more of this and so I dropped it. Life is too short to read novel like this when there's the siren-call of other, potentially engrossing novels whispering seductively in my ears. I cannot recommend this.


Saturday, January 3, 2015

Legends of Windemere: Beginning of a Hero by Renée Pawlish


Title: Legends of Windemere: Beginning of a Hero
Author: Renée Pawlish
Publisher: Barnes & Noble
Rating: WARTY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

I don't get the title of this: "Beginning of a Hero"? Surely it's the making of a hero isn't it? How is a hero 'begun'?! Even "The Beginnings of a hero" would have sounded better, but to outright label your story heroic and legendary up front takes some gall. I'd rather decide for myself if it is either or none.

This book felt doomed to me from early on because it hit pretty much every cliché there is to hit in this kind of fantasy story, and my yearning for something a little off the beaten track was once again frustrated.

Luke Callindor is the male protag, and he's obsessed with heroism so much so that he's prepared to outright lie to get in on an adventure that might glorify him. I didn't like him at all.

He talks himself into a job protecting the heir of Duke Solomon, who is, we can immediately guess, a female - and as soon as we meet her we know at once that it's her even though Luke is clueless for some considerable time.

The problem as that this was set in what appeared to be medieval times (suitable to the trope fantasy), but it has a modern school - a school which the heir attended and now which Luke has to attend to try and figure out who the heir is that he needs to protect. I say 'modern' meaning literally that - it's organized just like a modern high school, with class schedules and a cafeteria, which was ludicrous to me.

There's a Lord Voldemort-like bad guy, and a Snape-like minion who can disguise himself and who is evidently dedicated to finding this heir, too. I couldn't stand the way this was written, the tropes, the clichés, and the amusingly dedicated cycling through half-a-dozen names for Luke, featuring names like: The Forest Tracker, The Young Warrior, and so on.

I got bored quickly, and I can't recommend this. If you do like it, there are at least four episodes in this series, so you'll not lack for reading material. This may not be environmentally sound, but I prefer something new to something recycled, so this is not for me.


Out of the Past by Renée Pawlish


Title: Out of the Past
Author: Renée Pawlish
Publisher: Barnes & Noble
Rating: WARTY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

This novel sounded really interesting from the blurb, which only means that the blurb did its job - it lured me in. Unfortunately, this novel was not for me. I don't know what it was, but it made my skin crawl the minute I started reading it. It just felt completely wrong. I think part of it was that it tried way too hard to be what it patently was not: a hard-bitten noir-ish novel harking back to the classics of yesteryear. The problem with that was that it was set in contemporary times, so neither the attitude nor the lingo fit at all.

Instead of getting into it, I found myself stifling laughs at how ridiculous it truly was, with the caricature of Denver-based PI Reed Ferguson being beaten up in the bathroom by the even more caricatured brace of "goons" (yes, that word was actually spoken) named Tyrone and Oscar, when all they'd been sent to do was pick up the PI on behalf of some insanely rich dude. The PI's wise-cracks when he was punched were ludicrous. I have no idea what the author was trying to do, but none of it made any sense in the context in which it was presented, and the flashback to the eighties in the dance bar to which the PI was forcefully taken as the novel began was cringe-worthy.

The plot is that daddy warbucks wants the PI to escort his daughter because he thinks she's at risk for kidnapping. Why this is suddenly a threat now, when she's been all through high school with no issues, then all through college with no issues, and now she's been gallivanting around town partying all the time without even so much as a whisper of a threat is never explained (at least not in the portion I read). The PI is blackmailed into it because of some shady event in his past, but the assignment is so open-ended that it makes no sense. There is no threat to his daughter - there is only daddy warbucks's fear of one, so when is this assignment supposed to end? The PI is too dumb to even ask.

And why the PI? Why not hire a professional security detail? Why not hire a couple of moonlighting cops? None of this is even raised, much less dealt with. Worse than that, the girl is the polar opposite of Mr. Hard-Ass-the-PI. She dresses in pink and is a 'girly-girl' as far as I could see, so we're truly hit over the head with this tired cliché of square-peg versus round-hole (so to speak), which frankly held no appeal whatsoever for me. It's been done far too many times before. This one offered no promise of anything original or off-the-beaten-track based on what I'd read thus far, and there isn't even the promise of any mystery to it.

I cannot recommend this.


Friday, January 2, 2015

Ange'El by Jamie Le Fay


Title: Ange'El
Author: Jamie Le Fay
Publisher: CreateSpace Publishing
Rating: WARTY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

This story focuses on Morgan, a Brit feminist writer who's visiting New York City in support of her her Hope foundation. She gets to know a security guard who's assigned for her protection, but there are things about him which seem weird. Naturally she falls for him because why wouldn't a feminist woman in a romance novel betray everything she stands for by becoming totally dependent upon a guy for her slavation - or is that salvation?!

Seriously, that's what I didn't get about this novel. Morgan is supposed to be this strong female character, but she ends up being nothing more than a damsel in distress, totally owned by - who else, of course - angel Gabriel. He's not really an angel, just part of a bizarre cult of genetically superior beings.

Morgan then starts behaving like an idiot, so he has to save her even more. It was at this point that I said, "Enough already! If I want to see a woman this completely owned, I'll watch a 1950's TV family sit-com". At least I can count on a laugh or two that way.

Instead of showing a woman with a sword in a superior position to a man, this novel's cover should have depicted her cowering under his security-blanket angel's wings. At least that would have been a realistic representation of what's inside the novel (not that anyone actually has wings in this novel - not in the part I read, anyway). Your mileage may differ, but I cannot get with this kind of story at all. If you do like it, then you're in for a treat, because it's the start of the inevitable series. For me, a series needs to be a lot hotter than run-of-the-mill and warmed-over if it wants me on-board, so I will not be following Morgan.


Since You've Been Gone by Mary Jennifer Payne


Title: Since You've Been Gone
Author: Mary Jennifer Payne
Publisher: Dundurn
Rating: WARTY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

Since You've Been Gone isn't the wisest choice of title for a novel since it's so common. I counted twelve on BN, and the title doesn't really describe the novel very well. It's another first person PoV novel, which typically don't work for me, but in some cases the writer carries it and it does offer a rewarding read. In this case, I have to say that I became really intrigued by the very first sentence: "Today I punched Ranice James in the face." You can’t get a more alluring start to a novel than that! And by that I mean not to condone violence, but to point out that this sentence immediately forces questions into your brain: Who the heck is Ranice James? Why was this narrator punching her (or him)? And if this is all true, why is the narrator 'fessing up to us readers? And why am I asking you? (You can read that first chapter on the author's website - or could at the time of posting this review.

The problem was that it went downhill after that first sentence! We never did learn anything about Ranice James (not in the part of this novel which I read). The narrator clearly has anger management issues, but that's actually not the worst of her problems. She and mom are apparently on the run from a violent father and husband, and have a habit of changing address rather frequently. How they finance this is a mystery, particularly the last move, since it’s a huge change, all the way from Toronto to London. And it gets worse.

Edie's mom all-too-quickly finds work cleaning an office on the night shift, getting paid under the table, but then she vanishes without a trace - or almost without one. Instead of immediately going to the police, Edie decides to become a detective and partners up with the bad boy of the class. My stomach was turning at this point because of an overdose of cliché. The bad boy of the class, really? Why not take a few steps off the path most taken and have her partner with a geek or a goody-goody - just for a change? Why even assign her a male partner? Must every girl have a guy to validate her?

This - not the partnering up, but the failure to go to the police - was the first of many bad decisions Edie takes. I have no doubt that she will find her mom, but the story was so predictable at this point that it held no interest for me whatsoever, so I gave up on it and moved on - to something I hoped would be a lot more rewarding than this one promised to be.


Thursday, January 1, 2015

For a Few Souls More by Guy Adams


Title: For a Few Souls More
Author: Guy Adams
Publisher: Solaris
Rating: WARTY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

This is the inaptly-named book three in a trilogy, at least the last two volumes of which are named after two movies in the "spaghetti" western trilogy which brought Clint Eastwood to major stardom in the sixties, with the movie title's use of 'dollars' replaced by 'souls' in the book titles. Other than that play on words, the stories here have nothing whatsoever in common with those classic movies.

I wasn't really sure what to expect going into this. The blurb made it sound interesting, but that just means that the blurb did its job in luring me in. It doesn’t mean that the blurb informed at all as to what this story is actually about. One thing I did expect when I began this, was that I'd get a coherent story, which I could follow and which made sense, but this isn't what was delivered. I freely admit that this might well have been because I'd missed the earlier volumes.

In fact, I rather quickly got the strong feeling that I needed to have read both previous volumes before I embarked upon this one, because what were to me random characters began showing up anew in each chapter with no information about who they were or what they were doing or why, or what connection they had to anything or anyone else. There was no back-story - which is a good thing if the only alternative is huge info-dumps, but a really bad thing if the reader hasn't read the previous material, or has read it so long ago that details have been forgotten.

The story began as though it was a traditional western with the supernatural thrown in, but in a chapter soon afterwards, we learned there are motor vehicles. Yes, there were motor vehicles in what we view as the old west, but they were rare and primitive initially. The movie The Wild Bunch acknowledges this, as does Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, both of which I recommend. The problem here though, was that there was no context. Are we in relatively modern times, in 'the cowboy era' but as the wild west is fading? Are we in a time where different eras are somehow bleeding into one another? There was no guidance on this at all - not in the part I managed to complete before giving up from a toxic mix of boredom and frustration.

In some ways, this novel is reminiscent of the movie Cowboys & Aliens, except that the aliens are demons here. The main character in chapter one, Atherton, is an Englishman fresh from some unspecified business in Africa. For some reason he was in New York City when a new town suddenly and literally sprang up from nowhere, out west. He was somehow 'assigned' to it (how or why was not specified), and the town it turns out, is populated with demons. Atherton decides (upon what authority, we’re not told), that he needs to destroy the town and the demons in it.

There's a second story told interspersed with the first. This is the tale of Arno James and Veronica, both living in Heaven. In life they did not know each other, indeed could not since they lived at different times. In death, slain by the lover of his unfaithful wife, Arno is thrilled that Veronica, the first person he meets, turns out to enjoy his company, but this isn’t enough for him.

Told by the mysterious Alonzo, who appears to be in charge up here, that Heaven is so poorly populated these days because most people think they deserve no better than Hell, Arno decides to visit Hell and find out what’s going on there. Of course, this 'explanation' does nothing to explain why Heaven - which must have been steadily populated for thousands of years - has failed retain even its original populace.

Worse than any of this, however, is that the story did nothing whatsoever to pull me in. I've read books (I found two different ones over the last week) where I was grabbed from the first page and couldn't put it down, but this one failed to get my attention, much less my good will. It gave me no compelling reason to be interested in what was going on, and it gave me no character(s) to identify with, to relate to, or to become curious about. Given all of that, and given that there are other, more enticing volumes sitting on shelves and devices, I couldn't sustain sufficient interest in this to continue with it.


The Clown Service by Guy Adams


Title: The Clown Service
Author: Guy Adams
Publisher: Del Rey
Rating: WARTY!


DISCLOSURE: Unlike the majority of reviews in this blog, I've neither bought this book nor borrowed it from the library. This is a "galley" copy ebook, supplied by Net Galley. I'm not receiving (nor will I expect to receive or accept) remuneration for this review. The chance to read a new book is often enough reward aplenty!

I hate to start the new year on a downer or two, but today is Guy Adams day and I have two reviews of his novels, neither of which I liked, so I guess I'm done with him as an author. It's sad, because I've read good things about him and was curious to read something of his. Obviously my mileage differed significantly from that of many other readers.

The first problem for me was that this novel was really a rip-off of the British TV series from the sixties, titled The Avengers, and it did not stand up well. Don't confuse the TV show with the tried-too-hard-and-suffered-for-it movie featuring Sean Connery, Ralph Fiennes, and Uma Thurman. That was barely passable. This novel, by comparison wasn't. In addition to The Avengers, it and tries to lard itself with liberal helpings of US TV's The X Files, with a sprinkle of Jasper Fforde. None of this work for me.

The basic premise is that Toby Greene, an incompetent British secret agent, is reassigned to Section 37 (it ought to have been section 38) where he works for August Shining. They investigate the paranormal. The first case to which Toby's assigned is really a magical history tour of Shining's personal history, as Britain comes under threat from zombie-fied Soviet agents. Yes, it was as ridiculous to read as the plot sounds.

I honestly could not read this stuff, much less get into it. It wasn't amusing, wasn't really original, and wasn't at all entertaining for me, so I can't recommend it.