Stop right there! That title alone is enough to say no. Just say no.
Thursday, October 7, 2021
Super Colossal Reacher Universe Bundle Volume 1 by Jude Hardin
"A lot of people want to find Jack Reacher...." Not me. Yawn. Can you say nauseating market-saturation? Jack-Off Reacheround anyone? It's called a circle jerk.
Mick by Melissa Foster
"A red-hot USA Today bestseller" - only if you consider #143 in the list to be a best-seller; otherwise it's just a lie. "Determined to release her inner vixen, Amanda attends a masquerade bar crawl. She makes an instant connection with a masked stranger - only to find out he’s her boss! But when Mick offers her a no-strings lesson in seduction, Amanda can’t resist" neither can the disease she gets which is antiobiotic-resistant chlamydia.... Yawn. And he's her boss? Barf. Way to foster a put-down of women, Melissa.
Road Out of Winter by Alison Stine
"In an unforgiving future, Wylodine flees the endless winter of Appalachia. But danger awaits her and her ragtag...." Stop right there. If it says 'ragtag' or 'quirky' or 'misfits' anywhere in the blurb it's going to be shittily unoriginal and needs to be avoided. Yawn. And Wylodine?
Divine Fate: The Complete Series by Alicia Rades
"An action-packed, unputdownable fantasy trilogy" of course it is, because when isn't it? Check this shit out: "After killing a demon, Ryn Tyler is swept away to a magical school - to hone her skills as an angel! Under the tutelage of bad boy Marek" Of course he's a bad boy because what the fuck use is anyone else? You can see exactly where this tedious retreaded garbage is going from that one sentence, and it ain't anywhere original, interesting, or entertaining, because this exact story has been done over and over with nothing more than a few cosmetic changes. Yawn. Alicia Raids Tired Plots.
Queen of Klutz by Samantha Garman
"After losing her job and her boyfriend on the same day, Sibby Goldstein stumbles into a waitressing gig at an Italian restaurant. Can she find her way back to love and happiness — without falling flat on her face?" How many times has this tired old story been retreaded now? Far too many, that's for sure. Yawn.
When the Red Wolf Runs by Kody Boye
Kody Boye sounds like a supiciously made-up author name doesn't it?! "There hasn’t been a wolf spotted around where Oaklynn lives" Oaklynn? Really? "...for decades - but after she unexpectedly sees one outside, she meets her new neighbor, Jackson. And Jackson and his father are carrying an earth-shattering secret…" What that's he's fucking werewolf? Barf. How is that remotely Earth-shattering? And 'Jackson' really? That's no better than 'Jack' - the most boring name in fiction. "First in an absorbing paranormal series!" Of course it is, because why do the work of coming up with original standalones when you can keep retreading the same tired story over and over? How tedious. How unimaginative. How uninventive. Yawn.
An Indecent Proposition by Stephanie Julian
Rip-off indecent proposal much for your titles? "A single night of no-holds-barred sex with Erik and Keegan will provide waitress Julianne with the cash to buy herself a new life. But is one night enough?" To catch a disease? Yep. Stupid and ridiculous to its core.
The Matarese Circle by Robert Ludlum
Robert Ludlum died twenty years ago and will not get a penny from this - buy it used or get it from your library if you must read it. For me, I am not interested in reading a novel that chooses a title like something popular from the past, like 'Maltese Falcon', Maybe? Just title it 'Tease' and be done with it!
The Charlotte and Thomas Pitt Novels Volume One by Anne Perry
This page-turning box set of historical mysteries introduces police inspector Thomas Pitt and wealthy, free-spirited Charlotte Ellison...." Why would a Victorian police officer countenance any interference from a meddling woman? Yawn. Where does she live? Letsbe Avenue? And way to give away the plot: Charlotte Ellison obviously becomes a Pitt. In fact the whole novel is the pits, let's face it.
Stolen Daughters by Carolyn Arnold
"In a tiny Virginia town, the body of a teenage girl is discovered in an abandoned house. Detective Amanda Steele...." Nope! No more novels where the main character is unimaginatively named 'Steele' or 'Stone' for fuck's sake. Get a clue! Yawn. And it's an abandoned house! If a body wants to be in there, let it, I say! I think Arnold wrote this for her own Benediction....
Lost, Found, & Forever by Victoria Schade
"When Justine discovers her beloved rescue dog might belong to a man named Griffin, they compete to show who’s the better pet owner - but they might just find love along the way." Clone much? How did she even get her hands on the 'rescue dog', if Griffin is so dead set on finding his lost pet? Unoriginal story, inane 'plot'.
Murder Most Pemberley by Jessica Berg
"To mend family ties, Eliza Darcy crosses the Atlantic to England" and she's in the USA why? Because you cannot - simply cannot! - have a novel for an American audience that has no Americans in it! It's unconstitutional! Barf! What ought to be illegal is these dumb-ass rip-offs of Jane Austen. Get a new shtick for Bourgh's sake - something original and imaginative. "...only to stumble into a Scotland Yard murder investigation!" which has nothing whatsoever to do with her. For fuck's sake! "Fans of cozy mysteries and Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice will enjoy this whodunit." I hope not.
Blue Moon Investigations Boxed Set: Part 1 by Steve Higgs
Once in a blue moon, they actually solve a case! "PI Tempest Michaels" hereinafter known as the Higgs Bosom, "brings the supernatural creatures of England to justice in this fast-paced and funny paranormal romp." Anything with 'romp' in the description is a no. And Tempest Michaels? Tempest? Really? No. Just no! And there is no box. Trust me on this.
Country Cottage Mysteries Box Set Books 4–6 by Addison Moore, Bellamy Bloom
"Sinister shenanigans" Thos two words really do not go together. A writer ought to know that; two writers ought to know it twice. "...are afoot in the village of Cider Cove…" where there's more crime and murder than any large city. "In this collection," that comes with no box whatsoever - you know it doesn't - "psychic innkeeper Bizzy" Body "must solve three mysteries - from a dog fashion show gone wrong to a senior citizens’ bake-off that ends in murder. Can she crack the cases?" She's a psychic. She gets the answer on the first page, case solved. Everything else is padding. Barf.
Good Nights by Heather Grace Stewart
"Struggling with terrible writer’s block and a failed marriage, Hannah needs a break." So she runs away! "Booking a month in a house on a remote French island seems like the perfect solution - until her solo getaway is interrupted by an infuriatingly handsome Brit...." Automatic barf with the 'infuriatingly' bullshit. I honestly do not get the mentality behind these ridiculous stories. I know it’s pure escapism, but the total lack of anything approaching reality destroys any hope of suspension of disbelief. All there is, is disbelief. Yawn. How sad that the only break this downtrodden woman can afford is a luxury vacation for an entire month on a remote island. We are all so much better off than she is....
The Tethering by Megan O’Russell
The title alone should steer you well away from this one. "Gifted with supernatural abilities, Jacob only wants to use his powers to protect Emilia, the girl he’s loved for years." And fuck the rest of the world! "But with the world of magic teetering on the brink of war, he has to fight just to stay alive… A fantasy tale that will keep you glued to the pages." Mainly because the publisher actually put glue on the pages for this very purpose. Yawn. Another sad blurb that is evidently designed to turn a person off the book rather than onto it - assuming they even do get past that god-awful title.
The Cross of Sins by Robin Knight
"Somewhere in the world, a priceless and scandalous artifact lies hidden - and five gay adventurers team up to find it before it can be destroyed." Seriously? The title is ridiculous as is the premise. What, pray tell, exactly is a cross of sins? Is it like the word sins vertically and horizontally, the one sitting atop the other, both sharing an 'I' because there is no 'I' in team.... I think I prefer Sir Robin to Knight Robin. You know the one from Monty Python and the Holy Grail?.
The Royal Factions Box Set Books 1–3 by WJ May
"A spellbinding box set" where teenagers are boxed in! "Sixteen-year-old Elise is taken from her home and drawn into the glittering world of the royal palace - where she and the other captives will be held until they’re claimed by a courtier. With danger lurking around every corner, can Elise survive her fate?" No. She'll commit suicide when she discovers that the queen never actually said "Let them eat cake." Seriously what kind of dumb fuck question is that? Do you actually have to get a degree in 'Watershit Down' in order to be qualified to write book blurbs? I don't see any other way they could be written in so consistently stupid a fashion.
The Reefs of Time by Jeffrey A Carver
Why is Jeffrey, a carver? Why isn't it Jeffrey, a writer? Just kidding. But look at this: "An ancient and corrupt AI is traveling through time and space, wreaking havoc." At least they didn't say 'wrecking havoc' - I have seen that in a novel. "Exiled from Earth, John Bandicut' - a bandicoot is a very cute but largely nocturnal marsupial, FYI - "and his alien crew" of blue meanies "race to stop the path of destruction…" Why? Why is it their concern? Because there are no robots! Even in an AI story!
Consistently, in these sci-fi bullshit stories, there are no robots. Even in this one with an AI, I'll bet there are no drones, no guided missiles, nothing to stop this destruction but a 'ragtag band of misfits' and it’s so often tediously described. Why? Of course this is "Part of a series." I used to like Greg Bear before I read that he hails this as "classic science fiction with engaging characters and richly imagined worlds!" I don't think he knows what he's talking about because I will bet there's no explanation as to why the aliens are blue. Humans ('white ones' are pink because the red blood (from iron pigments) in our veins shows through our translucent skin. People of color are largely not pink because they have various levels of melanin in their skin which protects them against the harsher effects of sunlight. So why are these aliens blue - or those green or the other ones red? Never is there an explanation for this. It’s hardly richly imagined, then is it?
Bondage Buddies by Golden Angel
Let’s not even get into the author's 'name' or whther it really ought to be Golden Rains (hey, how about Golden Reins? It totally works!). "After meeting in a BDSM class," A BDSM class? Where you get beaten for truancy?! "...single mom Domi can’t turn down Master Mitch’s proposal for a friends-with-benefits arrangement - but as their passion flares higher with each scene, Mitch craves more from Domi than just her submission." Wait, the submissive is named Domi? So why isn't the guy named Nate? Domi-Nate - get it? Barf. You know I have this theory that there are no serious BDSM writers - only pranksters and BDSM-haters who want to bring this whole field of sexual exploration into disrepute and that's why they write all these dumb-ass stories.
Amazonia by James Rollins
"Five years after a US Special Forces agent entered the Amazon jungle," wait, why are the US special forces once again invading a foreign land? Oh well, "with one arm, he emerges - with both arms intact" Wait, wait a minute! Why is there a special forces guy going into the field and he has only one arm? Aren’t even regular soldiers invalided out after a sacrifice like that? I can't imagine one being in the special forces like that. This story just sounds off from the off. Yawn.
The City Baker’s Guide to Country Living by Louise Miller
"Big-city pastry chef Olivia takes a job at a quaint Vermont inn - where she’s immersed in a cozy world of county fairs, apple pies, and small-town charm!" Excuse me while I hurry off to urgently locate an anti-emetic. I had thought there might possibly be a story in here, but there really isn't, is there?
From the Shadows by BJ Daniels
"When Casey inherits an abandoned old hotel in Buckhorn, Montana, her goal is to sell it as quickly as possible. Her plans don’t include handsome billionaire Finn James, who has been hiding out in the hotel for months, determined to find answers about a summer long ago." Fine, so she sells it to him, end of story. Seriously, this billionnaire can't hire private detectives to find those answers for him? The whole concept is asinine from the off. There's no romance here; it's just a BJ.
Keeping Company by Tami Hoag / Sarong Party Girls by Cheryl Lu-Lien Tan
"When a catastrophe of a blind date lands corporate lawyer Alaina Montgomery and free-spirited Dylan Harrison in jail, the two aren’t exactly off to a flying start, romance-wise. But when they decide to pose as a couple to stop their meddlesome friends, they find that they make a pretty good team." And how many times has this same cloned story been retreaded now? Barf. Hoag, Hoag, it's deranged! Where the leer and the can't elope roam....
AND
Sarong Party Girls by Cheryl Lu-Lien Tan
No wonder the Kirkus circus liked htis story: it's totally demeaning to women. It makes sense for them to do that in a story that is solely about how useless women are until and unless they have a man to make their lives worth anything. "27-year-old Jazzy and her friends are on the hunt for expat husbands in the dazzling city of Singapore - follow their search for love." Why? Why do I care? Especially since the novel has nothing whatsoever to do with actual love and seems much more interested in being a voyeur of kinky sex in a very restrictive society. Are these women so worthless, their lives so empty, that 'love' is the only thing that lends them any value? If that's the case, they're not worthy of a relationship to begin with, because they have absolutely nothing to contribute to one. Yawn.
Deus Ex Mechanic by Ryann Fletcher
If I'd known this book had the word 'chronicles' associated with it, I would never had considered reading it, but the interesting cover illustration distracted me and the plot sounded engaging, so I missed that somehow, and launched into it, getting to about two-turds the way through it before I fully realized it was going nowhere - precisely because it's a series. Book one is a prolog and I don't do prologs because they're boring and don't tell you shit. I wish I had back the time I wasted on this one. The book description is completely misleading.
The concept is ridiculous to begin with - steampunk in space? The spaceship has boilers which is the stupidest thing I ever heard. I even put up with that in hopes I would get a good story. More fool me. Having loved the character of Kaylee in Firefly, I was primed for the character of Alice - a mechanic. In fact this whole story is a Firefly rip-off in many ways. Violet is the captain of a pirate vessel which operates on the run from coalition vessels, raiding them and distributing food to rebel bases and selling-off what they can to make some money.
On one such raid, they kidnap Alice to get her to fix the ship's boilers(!) intending to release her later, but eventually she ends up - as we knew she would - on the ship as a crew member, and so starts the relationship with Violet. This is the dumbest relationship ever, with them getting it on and getting off and it falling off so metronomically that it became tedious to read it. They were like 13 year olds, and to pretend non-violent Violet was a pirate captain was stupid.
The story wasn't god-awful, except when I read of one character Violet met:
"Hiya. I'm Jhanvi," she said with a thick southern drawl
This is on an alien planet, and she has "a thick southern drawl"?! Ridiculous!
Of course everyone on the crew is the best there is. Alice is the best mechanic; Hyun is the best doctor; Kady is the best engineer; Violet the best captain. Barf. They should have named the spacecaft the Mary Sue. I reached a point, not quickly enough unfortuantely, where I could not stand to read any more of this, and I ditched it. Can't commend it.
The Recipient by Audrey J Cole
"Seattle police sergeant Wade McKinnon would recognize the work of serial killer Michael Rhodes anywhere — but Rhodes was executed a year ago… Wade discovers the horrific repercussions of a partial brain transplant in this nerve-shattering crime thriller." Oh give me a fucking break, please! The saddest thing is that this isn't even the dumbest plot of the year!
Extra Whip by Jamie K Schmidt
"Barista Terri can’t help her attraction to her arrogant customer, businessman Mick. But after one hot night together, she unexpectedly gets a job at his company — and keeping it professional isn’t possible!" This is what? The 500th? Thousandth time this exact story has been retreaded? I've lost count. Yawn.
The Friends That Have Sex Duet by GL Tomas
"After tattooed bad boy Asher crosses paths with wild child Teddy, they settle on a friends-with-benefits arrangement. But things get complicated when Asher realizes he’s falling for her — and Teddy’s heart may be impossible to tame" Barf. Standard bad boy bullshit story that's been done to death scores of times already. Nothing new here. Yawn.
Fixed on You by Laurelin Paige
"Alayna’s new boss, wealthy Hudson, has a proposition for her — pose as his girlfriend and her money problems will be solved for good. But their chemistry may complicate things." And this exact story has been done how many scores of times already? And let's not ever talk about the impropriety and imbalance of power here, because it's only a woman after all.... Barf.
The Last Fallen Star by Graci Kim
That this was "praised by Rick Riordan as 'amazing'." tells me I never want to read it. Riordan, as you may recall, criminally transported Greek mythology to the US, because god forbid we should tell those stories in the land of origin. The US is far more important and who wants to hear Greek mythology that hasn't been US-ified? Barf. I guess he thought this was amazing because Kim does precisely the same thing he did, except in her case it's Korean mythology that's transplanted, because there's no way in hell anyone would be interested in a Korean mythology story actually set in Korea. I mean, why would they?
Man in the Water by Jon Hill
"After Jack Green...." Oh look! Yet another Jack-Ass leading man. Need I say more about this pathologically over-used name?
Spellbound in a Kilt by Anna Durand
"Years after Luke Turner dumped her for announcing her status as a witch, Kirsty MacTaggart encounters him again at a wedding reception. But this time he’s determined to debunk her claim — and she has no idea what he’s willing to do to accomplish his goal." And this beliigerant asshole is part of a supposed romance story? What's he going to do: rape the truth out of her? Barf. There's no romance here. This is yet another story set in Scotland written by a US author who's more than likely never been there. This genre seems hell-bent on misrepresenting the Gaelic peoples. Why? I don't know. I guess it makes them money.
Carolina Comforts by Susan Schild
"After her late husband leaves her life in shambles, Linny moves into a rundown home and focuses on renovating the fixer-upper — and her life — bit by bit. Can she rediscover herself and learn how to open her heart to love again?" Who cares, really? This exact same story has been told ten thousand times already and it. Never. Changes. Oh look, it's set in "The South"! How original! barf.
Sex & Sours by Dani McLean
"Tiffany, the feisty, bisexual head bartender, isn’t about to simply bow down to her new boss, Sam. But to save the bar, they have no choice but to work together. As their clashing ignites sparks, could mixing business with pleasure be the recipe for romance?" I don't see that bisexuality is anything more than a gimmick in this novel. And there's nothing new here. This antiquated shtick of having two people clash and fall in love has been done way too many times. And doenslt anyoen have anyhtign to say abot the inappropriate relationhip between superior and inferior: boss vs. employee which seems to be a staple of these bullshit non-romance tales? It's non-romance becuase it never is romance; it's always all about sex - it says it right there in the title. Yawn.
I’m with the Banned by Marlene Perez
"As vampire queen Tansy" Tansy? seriously? "...gets used to her new ruling role, someone starts hunting down werewolves...." Of course they do because god forbid we should have an actual original vampire story with no werewolves (or vice-versa). Why do that when we can clone the same shit everyone else is writing and regurgitate that? Barf.
The Star of Atlantis by Tricia D Wagner
"When his former best friend discovers a mysterious pirate treasure, 14-year-old Swift puts his professional goals on hold to chase his oldest, most precious dream — sailing the Welsh seas" What Welsh seas? LOL! While, on the one hand, I'm tempted to say 'kudos to an author for optioning Wales over the stock Ireland or Scotland choice, there is no Welsh sea! It's actually the Irish sea. And what professional goals? The kid is fourteen years old! So this is yet another novel from yet another US author who probably has never been to Wales, and now we have a new series about Atlantis, which is a non-existent place, and sure as hell was never anywhere near Wales, not even in fiction. Yawn.
The Poe Predicament by Phil Thomas
"After picking up a special signed copy of Edgar Allan Poe poems from his neighborhood bookstore, college professor Richard is suddenly transported to the 19th century. To return home and restore history, he’ll have to help none other than the famed author himself." Of course he will. Barf. This is about as low and pathetic, and uninventive as you can get. Coopting a famous dead guy, who can't object, to be a character in your story is tediously overdone and offers nothing new; then most authors don't.
Mistle Text by Whitney Dineen, Melanie Summers
That it took two people to write a dumb-ass retreaded story like this is sad. It says a lot about the capabilities of the authors - or lack thereof. The fact that a Christmas story was released in September says a lot about how dumb and desperate the publisher is, too. The blurb isn't any better: "Struggling to make ends meet as she raises her niece, Holly Snow accepts an offer to do wealthy scrooge Archibald Harrington’s Christmas shopping — and texting him for more information may just lead to falling in love." Barf. if the guy starts out an asshole, there's no reason to believe any perceived change will be permanent. How many women have gone into a relationship thinking the guy will change? And what kind of huge percentage of those have been sorely disappointed? It happens all the time. It's sad. There's no comedy here. It's a tragedy. The real tragedy here though, is that unimaginative authors keep on recycling these dumb-ass stories.
Royally Rearranged by Emma St Clair
"A sweet romantic comedy: When the prince she’s been promised to since childhood shows up with another woman, princess Serafina plans to make him jealous with devilish duke Rafe de Silva at her side — but she doesn’t count on losing her heart so easily…" This is about as bad as it gets when it comes down to truly dumb-ass plots. The fact that this princess was was a willing participant in a childhood arranged marriage tells me all I knneed to know about what a dumb-ass wilting violet she is. Already I am completely uninterested in her and her sorry life, and the fact that this is a pathetic little unimaginative, cookie-cutter retreaded YA love triangle bullshit story that's been done to death a score of times already tells me all I need ot know about this author, too. I'm done. Check please!
Off-Grid Living for Beginners by Emma Nora
This is from a review copy I received from the author for which I thank her.
I enjoyed reading this author's Raising Backyard Chickens even though I have no desire to raise backyard chickens. Similarly, I enjoyed this one, too, even though I do not plan to go off-grid. I just like learning about alternative lifestyles!
This book is a very general introduction to the pleasures and pains of off-grid living, and though a bit disorganized and sometimes repetiive in parts I felt, it does give you a really good overview of how to disentangle yourself from the regular life that most people lead - at least in so-called 'first-world'civilizations. Of course there are many communities throughout the world that are off-grid whether they like it or not.
But if you're thinking of leading that lifestyle, this is a great place to start. It takes you through all the issues and pitfalls in a short read (about 120 pages) that will get you thinking along the right lines for a successful transition. It also includes an extensive reference section listing other works that can provide more - and more detailed - information.
The book is divided into eight chapters, the first of which exhorts readers to consider and understand why they might be thinking of living off-grid. Chapter two talks about learning from the mistakes of others, and chapter three discusses how to prepare yourself for off-grid living before you actually start any move off-grid. Four discusses acquiring a suitable property and the questions you need to answer when considering purchasing land, and five taks about options for building a home on the property, for which there is a variety of solutions. Six goes into the transition to, and integration into, your off-grid lifestyle, and seven discusses how you might make a decent living in your new status. Eight discusses making the most of this life. In short - the whole thing is covered in a general outline with pointers, hints, tips and resources for further reading.
The book doesn't go into excessive detail. This is aimed to open your eyes to the challenges you will face. It will give you a good grounding and get your brain focused on what's important, and what needs to be resolved. On that score, one thing I felt was under represented was medical care. In the US, medical care isn't free, and if you go off grid, unless you still retain some sorrt of regular employment, you will go off insurance as well as off grid. Simultaneously, you will by this new choice of lifestyle be potentially more vulnerable to sickness and injury if you're out working the land in all kinds of conditions, perhaps using farm machinery, so this I felt was not covered adequately, but I think the author thought of everything else!
One thing that felt a bit off was on the one hand talking of disconnecting from a life that can very easily be harmful to the environment and integrating into a more eco-friendly lifestyle, but on the other hand, and at the same time we're talking about felling trees and burning the wood as fuel, and this is one surefire way to remove a carbon sink (the tree) at the same time as we're putting the CO2 from that tree back into the atmosphere. But of course you have to balance that against an assortment of other choices you've made which may well be placing less of a burden on the environment precisely because you're off-grid. I felt that a word or two about that balance would have been nice.
I encountered one or two grammatical issues which were minor and understandable. The first I noticed was when I read about the kind of home you might choose to live in. It said, "The eco capsules are more adventitious..." and I felt that was the wrong word. I think the author meant 'advantageous'. In a similar case, I read, "The soil the house is built into is isolating," and I think the author meant 'insulating'. Later I read, in a discussion of clean water, 'drinking water and potable water - but these are the same thing. Potable means it's suitable for drinking. Bu you know, we've all been there!
In the same section I read that the author considered "25 gallons per person" (of water) was a good working figure, but there was no time-period associated with this. Obviously 25 gallons a day is way too much, and 25 gallons a year not enough, but I don't know if this was supposed to be over a week or a month or what! In that same section, I read, "...overall you will need to filter and purify what you want to drink. You will need to boil and filter the water you want to drink." which is repetitive. But as I said, these issues were few and far between and were not importnat when compared with the value of the overall message.
I commend this as a worthy read.
Tuesday, October 5, 2021
Long Winter by Rachel Ember
Someone named 'ember' writing about a cold winter ought to have something going for it, unless of course the author's name is as fictional as the novel is, but "On one snowy day, Robbie gets an unexpected call to pick up Lance, his little brother’s best friend" Lance? Seriously? Why not call him Prong?! But he gets to say that classic line "Meet my little brother's best friend!" before he guns them all down. Oh, wait, wrong story.... "Realizing Lance has nowhere else to go, Robbie invites him to stay at his ranch. And in their close quarters, their long-buried feelings for each other ignite." You know, I'd have no problem with this had Lance not been described as his 'little bother's best friend.' It makes it sound like Lance is a child and that's just creepy. Could it not have been described as 'his younger brother’s best friend', or better yet, just as 'his brother’s best friend'? Maybe his brother has a case of dwarfism? Or maybe his brother really is little and young, and his little brother's friend is a pedophile? Another book blurb fail.
A Woman Betrayed by Barbara Delinsky/The Widow by Fiona Barton
"When her husband mysteriously vanishes, Laura begins to unravel his secrets - and learns her 20-year marriage was nowhere near as perfect as it seemed" Another dumb housewipe story that's exactly the same as all the others that have been told ad infinitum. Yawn. Read on....
AND The Widow by Fiona BartonHere's really the exact same story: "Jean’s world was upended when her husband was accused of an unspeakable crime. Now he’s dead - and Jean’s secrets begin to unravel" How is anything unraveling if no-one is speaking of this unspeakable crime? Or is it speakable after all? Yawn. Wake me if something new ever shows up. Meanwhile, please put all these in a boxed set. And drop it into the Mariana Trench....
Snowdrift by Helene Tursten
"Swedish detective Embla Nyström has long been haunted by the disappearance of her best friend 14 years earlier." Yet another in a long and tedious line of 'troubled detective' stories. Yawn. See you next Tursten....
The Lead Cloak by Erik E Hanberg
"First in a series!" Of course it is! Judged by the title, it's a story about an xray technician.... "In the near future, Colonel Byron Shaw is sent after a group of insurgents" A colonel is in charge of a regiment - typically close to a thousand soldiers, so why is this guy going after the insurgents? And why is he wearing a James Dean leather jacket on the front cover instead of military fatigues? Or a lead cloak? Another unsurprising cover illustration/book description fail.
Crenshaw by Katherine Applegate
"From a Newbery Medal–winning author..." Okay let me out! I've pretty much consistently been thoroughly underwhelmed by Newbery winners. Newbery to me is the equivalent of boring and pretentious, so I read them no more.
London Prep Books 1–3 by Jillian Dodd
"When Mallory’s parents force her to leave New York behind to spend three weeks at a London prep school..." Because as you all well know, it is illegal in the USA to tell a story about another country without having at least one American in it....Yawn. In fact to be safe, you should probably only tell stories set in the USA. Nobody cares about the rest of the world.... So, a dud from Dodd.
I See You So Close by M Dressler
"The ghost of Emma Rose Finnis passes herself off as one of the living in an isolated mountain town..." Why? Do ghosts have nothing better to do?! The very title tells you to avoid this one.
The Sword of God by Mark Dawson
After wandering into the town of Truth, John Milton winds up in trouble with the law. He soon finds himself wounded and fleeing through the mountains - but his pursuers don’t know how dangerous he is" - Wasn't this exactly the plot of the movie Rambo? I'd be more entertained by Les Dawson and I wasn't even a fan of his!
Three at Wolfe’s Door by Rex Stout
"New York City sleuth Nero Wolfe" See? I'd be out of there right at that point, but there's more! "Wolfe investigates a deadly dinner party and other baffling murders in this classic collection from a MWA Grand Master!" Isn't MWA 'Mixed Writing Arts' - like cage fighting, but for writers? Just asking! Believe it or not, Rex Stout actually was this author's real name.
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