"In 1994, 16-year-old Flora vanished. Over two decades later, her sister Heather walks into a stranger’s house and kills two people. What’s the connection?" She beleives those two people kidnapped and killed Flora? Yawn.
Thursday, November 4, 2021
Bad Prince by Lilian Monroe
This shit has barf-fest written all over it. "Elle sneaks into the Royal Ball for a bit of fun, not a hot hookup with playboy Prince Charlie!" So they both have first-date unprotected sex. Okay, Tells me everything I need to know about these two assholes. "She thinks she’ll never see him again" Well she's the only one. "...until she finds out she’s carrying his heir." No, she's really not! Since it's out of wedlock, it's not actually an heir; it's just a scandal. It doesn't work that way with royalty, not even in this day and age. Close, but no scepter.
An Invitation to Murder by AG Barnett
Idiot book blurb writer strieks again: "Replaced on her television crime drama, aging actress Mary Blake believes her sleuthing days are over. But when a murder mystery party ends in actual murder, Mary must play detective once again — and prove her own innocence." No, that's not how it works, you see? The prosecution has to prove your guilt - and do so beyond a reasonable doubt. You don't have to prove innocence, okay? Got it now? Good. There you go. Wasn't so hard was it? Now all you have to deal with is: how stupid is Mary Blake to imagine for a New York minute that acting in a cheesy, boring, formulaic, and predictbale TV crime drama even remotely equips her to investigate anything?
Hey You, Pretty Face by Linda Coles
London detective Jack Rutherford" Here we go again with the most over-used action character name in the history of literature. No, not 'Rutherford', silly! 'Jack'! "...feels that there’s a connection between two recent cases — an infant who was abandoned and the kidnapping of three girls. But with a skeleton staff, can he find the key" The skeleton key? Barf.
Her Dirty Secret by Melanie A Smith
Today's bullshit forbidden non-review #2: "While at her brother’s wedding celebration, free-spirited Emily is instantly attracted to Alessandro, her new sister-in-law’s ex. Their affair is forbidden" Under what rule, law, regulation, or ordinance is it forbidden? Another idiot blurb by another idiot blurb writer.
Dreams Made Flesh by Anne Bishop
Today's bullshit forbidden non-review #1: "A warlord enters a forbidden romance with a witch" He's a fucking warlord. How is anything forbidden? Barf.
How to Catch a Vet by Ana Ashley
"Micah might be inexperienced — but when gorgeous veteran Santiago brings his Great Dane into the veterinarian’s office, even Micah can’t miss his advances" And we all know what the Great Dane is a euphemism for, don't we?! Barf.
One Night with Him by CD Reiss
Is the first part of the author's name pronounced 'seedy' by any chance? "Tough, independent Monica vows not to submit to gorgeous billionaire Jonathan — but after losing a bet, she’s his for the night." Because women are just possessions and playthings of men. Endless barfing. You know we get claims of video games 'causing' violence' and pornogrpahy 'causing' rape, but no one ever talks of the utterly erroneous ideas that trash like this puts into the minds of men.
Kiss of Fire by Rebecca Ethington / Deep Blue Secret by Christie Anderson
Kiss of Fire by Rebecca Ethington
This is apparently written for middle-graders. "Joclyn" Joclyn? Seriously? "...just sent her high school bully flying through the air! Could her phenomenal power have something to do with the strange new scar on her neck? Her handsome best friend, Ryland, holds all the secrets" Ryland? Really? And of course he holds the secrets, because it's another idiot YA story where the rules are that authoritative guy always controls the girl, who is utterly useless (except for violently repelling bullies evidently), until of course the handsome, mysterious, manly man winds up her mechanism and sets her in motion. Barf and Barf again.
AND
Deep Blue Secret by Christie Anderson
"Everything in Sadie’s simple life changes when a mysterious boy saves her from drowning… and then continues to appear in unlikely places. Who is he" He's a fucking stalker, that's who! You see the pattern here? YA story - exactly the same plot: naïve girl, who is paradoxically supposed to be very powerful, but is actually useless without a mysterious stalker guy to give her value. Barf.
11/22/63 Enhanced Edition by Stephen King
Enhanced? You meean it has yet more extraneous character history even than the original one did? What, do we go back eight generations of family now instead of four when a character is first described? It's an even bigger doorstop? Even more trees were sacrificed for the print edition? "A man traveling back in time to prevent JFK’s assassination unleashes unexpected consequences" No, they're entirely expected. Apparently only the idiot book blurb writer thinks they were unexpected. Yawn.
Gray Matter by Nick Pirog / Darkness, My Old Friend by Lisa Unger /The Lucifer Genome by John Jeter, Glen Craney
Here we go with another three-fer!
Gray Matter by Nick Pirog
"When former cop Thomas Prescott returns to Seattle, he discovers the governor’s corpse floating in the cove behind his boyhood home."
AND
Darkness, My Old Friend by Lisa Unger
"When retired cop Jones Cooper receives an unexpected visit, he plunges into an intricate mystery."
AND
The Lucifer Genome by John Jeter, Glen Craney
It took two to write this redux: "When a relic containing ancient human DNA is stolen, former Army ranger Cas must come out of retirement to track it down." Why? Why must he? Why an Army Ranger? Why not a trained detective? Seriously fucked-up is what this shit is.
How are these in an way different given that they all rely on the tired trope of a 'retiree' being 'forced' back into service? Seriously? Are there any new ideas out there? Any at all? Bueller?
Fifty Shades Trilogy by EL James
"Read the trilogy that became a phenomenon!" So this fan-fic redux that would have cost close to ninety bucks if bought as hardback when first released, can now be had for a buck a book? That's still too much to pay for recycled trash. This one trick pony author is worth some 150 million. She doesn't need any more money.
A Cold Hard Truth by Kate Hawthorne
"While divorced Sebastian is still questioning whether he’s interested in men, there’s no doubt that he’s drawn to Remington" Sebastian and Remington? Seriously? Are there no guy guys with regular names like José? Anthony? Michael? Kal? Sanjay? Barf.
Ethereal by Addison Moore
"When Skyla meets Logan — a boy who shares her extraordinary ability — she discovers a world of secrets and earthbound angels" Of course she does because this is yet another in a depressingly long line of female YA authors who declare with absolute conviction that women are utterly useless until a guy winds them up and sets them in motion. Fuck this shit.
Love Me in the Spotlight by Laura Burton
This is about one of the dumbest ideas for a novel I ever heard of: "Melissa is unexpectedly chosen to compete on a popular couples’ reality TV show — but she’s single!" So tell 'em that, and you're done. But no, Melissa isn't that kind of person - i.e. honest, that is. She outright lies and cheats: "Can she and drop-dead gorgeous Ronan fake an engagement and win the top prize?" Fuck this lying shit. Barf.
A Noël Killing by ML Longworth
"As the south of France comes alive with holiday cheer, town magistrate Antoine Verlaque and his wife, Marine Bonnet...." Marine bonnet? Seriously? Why not just call her Pirate Hattie? "...find themselves investigating a man’s mysterious death." Why? Are there no police in the south of France, or are they all off for Christmas? "Can they catch the culprit before Christmas?" Why is Christmas the deadline? Does the culprit get off scot-free after Christmas Day? Yawn.
Tuesday, November 2, 2021
The Burning Girls by Rita Herron
"In remote Crooked Creek, two murder victims are found a day apart, both surrounded by a strange circle of stones. Is a serial killer at work?" Um, yeah! "Detective Ellie Reeves, still reeling from a shocking revelation about her own family" Oh no! The haunted, wounded detective, That's never been done before - if you don't count the thousand times it has. Barf. This author's for the birds.
Everything Happens for a Reason by Katie Allen
No, everything doesn't happen for a reason, and "After her baby is stillborn, grieving Rachel convinces herself that saving a stranger’s life months earlier has something to do with the loss." Rachel needs some serious therapy, and I can promise you she won't get the help she needs in this book, but it will all work out perfectly anyway. Barf. I know this is fiction, but seriously?
Christmas at Lilac Cottage by Holly Martin
And the author's name is Holly? Yeah. I sure believe that. What a bunch of horseshit. So we have authors routinely lying about who they are. Okay. The main character's name is no better: "Penny Meadows" Seriously? But she "loves her cozy cottage in quaint White Cliff Bay. But when Henry and his daughter rent out her annex," You can bet he rents her annex, and she loves it. Barf.
Death by French Roast by Alex Erickson
If the title doesn't nauseate you, the blurb will. "To solve a decades-old murder discovered while cleaning out an old house, bookstore and café owner Krissy must separate local gossip from the truth with the help of her writing group." Ri-ight, because no one is better at solving murders than a bookstore/cafe owner. Fuck the cops: they're useless as all these writers so regularly attest. Crime professionals will only get in the way and evidence must be withheld from them. "A cozy mystery that will keep you guessing!" The only thing it keeps me guessing is how much more of this shit will be unloaded on the public before readers tire of it and my guessing is that it ain't happening any time soon.
Kade's Dark Embrace by Kym Grosso
"When several young women are murdered, detective Sydney Willows is forced to work with alpha vampire Kade Issacson to solve the case. But can she resist the intoxicating desire sizzling between them?" Of course she can't and we know this because this same exact story has been told ten billion times already. Barf. I believe this author has one too many 'O's in her name.
Forever My Girl by Heidi McLaughlin
It says it right there in the title. Another female author. Another girl. Another posssession. "Liam always planned on marrying Josie, his high school sweetheart — but fame and fortune disrupted his plans." No, he chose his plans over her, period. Why is the book description writer outright LYING about what happened? Liam is a jerk who doesn't deserve a second chance, but there's Josie, on hold, waiting for him like the faithful little piece of male property she is. Barf.
Dax by Sawyer Bennett
"This barn burner of a romance" something needs to be burned, for sure. "...is written by a New York Times bestselling author " You sell five thousands books once, and you can get on this list and use that title forever even if you never slel another title and have to flog your discounted books online. "Hockey star Dax" Are you fucking kidding me? Hockey star? Again? And he's called Dax? Seriously? "...has always thought of his best friend’s little sister as family — but when Regan needs a marriage of convenience, his feelings start to change" Of course they do. He wants in her pants. If it were anything other than that, those feelings would have come to the surface long before. No surprises there. Barf.
The Salt Line by Holly Goddard Jones
No wonder Moronic Pylons Flying Kirkus thought this was darkly clever - it's as dumb as they are! "A border known as the salt line separates what’s left of humanity from a deadly, tick-infested wasteland" Yeah, but ticks need blood, and deprived of it they died, so how is it tick infested? It gets worse: "...but one expedition of survivors is determined to venture beyond it, no matter the consequences." Because they're fucking morons - either that or they believe the ticks have all died out too. But guess what? If you wear thick clothing and seal it up, the ticks are not a problems, so no matter how may different ways you look at this dumb-ass story, it's a dumb-ass story. That's doubtlessly why Kirkus loved it.
The Devil Colony by James Paul Czajkowski aka James Clemens aka James Rollins
"After a grisly archaeological discovery, Sigma Force leader Painter Crowe" Painter Crowe? Seriously? That's your character's name? "...risks everything to expose a shadowy cabal that has manipulated the US for centuries." Yeah right. For centuries, and gone completely undetected and unsuspected. Barf.
The Unbreakables by Lisa Barr
"After her marriage falls apart, 42-year-old Sophie flees to France." Flees to France? Seriously? Flees to France? Because that's how most of us peons view it. I feel so bad for Sophie. How will she ever recover from being in France? Surely ythere;s no way in hell she can find any happienss there...! Barf. Lisa needs to raise her bar.
Song of the Forever Rains by EJ Mellow
"Larkyra," Seriously? That's the best name you got? "...a powerful sorceress whose voice can kill," And I know I just non-reviewed a story with this exact same character - but by a different author - just in the last few days! How tediously unoriginal. It's like one book just flows right into the next anymore, with barely a ripple to distinguish where one ends and the enxt begins. Yawn.
The Order of Time by Scott P Southall
It seems like I just non-reviewed this same book, but this is evidently a clone of the other one because it's essentially the same plot. "In this rollicking adventure," That right there is enough to warn you off this one. "11-year-old twins Anastasia and Edward embark on a high-stakes mission to ancient Egypt!" Because as you know, the Egyptians are utterly useless and need American kids to save them. How abusive an idea is that? What an appalling insult to a foreign power. This author couldn't have written about Egyptian kids on a high stakes mission? No, because who gives a shit about those "shithole countries" unless there's a white American savior involved? really? No wonder we're detested by half the world and barely tolerated by the other half.
When We Vanished by Alanna Peterson
The title alone should warn people off this one, and the blurb just makes it worse as usual: "While volunteering for a study at the mysterious Nutrexo corporation, Andi’s dad disappears — and she and her neighbor Cyrus set out to unravel the truth" because unquestionably, the best solution to a disppearance is to have a couple of clueless meddling kids running around trying to solve it.
The Trials of Apollo: The Tower of Nero by Rick Riordan
"Lester, the mortal form of the Greek god Apollo, faces off against the terrifying emperor Nero. Can he emerge triumphant and reclaim his place on Mount Olympus?" He's a fucking god. What do you think will happen, Rick? This is the author who culturally appropriated Greek mythology, shamelessly relocated it to the USA for no valid reason other than 'who gives a shit about any other nation' (Hey, it worked for Trump), and no one thinks there's a problem with that. Quite the contrary. They guy got rich from it and is feted for it! So please, do not assail me with your cultural appropriation shit when wholesale rip-offs like this go down totally uncommented.
The Little Christmas Teashop of Second Chances by Donna Ashcroft
"While scrambling to plan her best friend’s Christmas wedding, Lily finds herself thrown together with the groom’s brother, Josh, who’s as infuriating as he is handsome." Because the infuriatingly handsome shtick hasnever been done before - if you don't count the million times it has. No, what's going to happen here is that the infurating handsome guy will marry the desperate idiot girl, the marriage will self-destruct because he will not cease being infuriating just because he's married. In fact, it will get worse, and one of these two will be murdered. That's what happens in real life. This is fiction, and the author evidently has not an original bone in her body.
The Shape of Us by Drew Davies
Trying to think of something nice to say, but Drew a blank. That pretentious title, right there is a loud warning to stay the hell away from this pile of steaming crap. "In this heartwarming listen for fans of Love Actually, the lives of four strangers seeking happiness and love in London intertwine in ways they never expected." You know they were the only ones who didn't expect it? Every other motherfucker on the planet fully expected exactly what happens in this unimaginative, retreaded mishmash.
Seeking the Sheriff by Calle J Brookes
You know there's a seriously good case to be made for bringing back being put into the stocks for stupid book blurb writers. This one is about as unoriginal as you can get: "When struggling rancher Phoebe meets local sheriff Joel, they’re on opposite ends of the law. But with chemistry that’s off the charts...." What chart? Who maintains this chart? How is it constructed, and what determines when a chemistry goes off it? And if every single one of these stories has the chemistry off the charts, then doesn't this strongly suggest that the fucking chart is useless? This moronic book blurb writer, who's probably a failed author, needs to get a clue. But I can promise you they won't because they cannot help themselves. It's an inescapable addiction to bad, clichéd, and trope writing, you see.
The Beautiful Ashes by Jeaniene Frost
"When her sister goes missing, Ivy seeks to free her" Free her from being missing?! "...with the help of mysterious, sinfully sexy Adrian" Of course she does because this is a another author who operates under the firm conviction that a woman is utterly useless without a man to prop her up. Barf.
One Last Breath by Adam Nicholls
"When a corpse is found with strange carvings in its chest, homicide detective Jessie must hunt down a ruthless killer" as opposed to those killers who still do, you know, have a bit of Ruth left.... Yawn.
Seducing Whitney by Stephanie Julian
"To prevent her viperous stepmother from getting everything, Whitney turns to Chase and Ryan, her late father’s protégés." becuase as you know - according to a disturbingly large number of female authors - females are useless unless they have at least one, and in this case two, guys to lend them some worth. So paradoxically, Whitney effectively sells her body to keep what ought to be rightfully hers anyway. It might be even funny if it were not so nauseating. Barf.
Girl of Glass by Megan O’Russell
"When 17-year-old Nola Kent discovers an outsider child, she must leave the domes that shield her people and venture into the poisoned wastelands beyond… But are the survivors who live outside still human?" and this same story of the YA girl outside the dome rescued by a guy has been done how many hundreds of times before? Yawn. How i dream fo fidning an original YA story without a dumabss romance and a love griangle between girl, sweet boy, and bad boy. The problem is, almost no female YA authors have a clue how to write such a story. I know this because if they did, we'd see such stories and we almost never do.
Chengli and the Silk Road Caravan by Hildi Kang
From an advance review copy for which I thank the publisher.
The were multiple problems with this novel which is why I can't commend it as a worthy read. The basic story sounded quite engrossing: Chengli Chau is a 13-year-old orphan who lives in Changan, in seventh century China. He feels a call to join a caravan traveling the old silk road across the desert from one city to another where he might discover what happened to his father (which he never really does), and he begins learning the ropes - literally, since one of his duties is making sure packs are tied securely on camels.
During the course of the novel he encounters problems, hardship, thievery, a bandit raid, and a kidnapped Chinese princess. And that was one of the problems with this relatively short (~200 pages) story: there was far too much going on! Naturally, no one wants to read a tedious documentary about an uneventful caravan journey even though, undoubtedly, most of them had little out of the ordinary happen to them from one trip to the next. But on this journey, it was like everything, including the kitchen sink (if they had such a thing back then!) was thrown at this poor boy, and his life on this trip was one long torturous trial. It became tedious to read of these endless miseries with no leavening whatsoever in between.
Naturally an author wants to spice-up a story, but the trip itself would have been adventure enough without all the added drama. It felt like too much - like overkill and as such felt unnatural - not like an organic story. The boy was constantly abused and threatened with having his head cut-off maybe a half-dozen times. It felt unnatural.
The other side of this coin is that the book description promises us that we can "experience the sights, sounds, and smells of this fabled desert route," but we really don't get a whole heck of a lot of that. There was a lot that could have been learned here of history, but all we did learn was of hardship. There was a lot more to discover, but we were not allowed the opportunity: such as of the kinds of things that were transported, the kinds of people who made up the caravan, the joys some must have felt, traveling and pursuing their calling.
But we really got none of that, and really, no smells! Sights, yes, sounds, some, but that was about it. I got no real sense of what it was like to travel and live in the desert. There was little to nothing that conveyed the beauty of the dunes, the heat of the day, the cold of the night, the mirages. There wasn't a word about desert wildlife or the night sky, or of navigating the endless sand. It felt barren and empty, more like a sketch of a story than a real story.
The description told us that Chengli was called to the desert, but once he began the journey we got none of that. His desert bond disappeared and we heard virtually nothing of it after that. He exhibited no calling whatsoever; no joy of the desert or of the sand. We got no feelings that he might have had of the desert wind in his hair or the spices it carried assaulting his nostrils. It fell completely flat because of the endless trials and pains he endured. There really was no joy in this story.
On top of all this, the book was poorly put together, too. There is no chaptering. It's one, long, continuous, 200 page story! One chapter! No illustrations. And so we can jump several days or more from one paragraph to the next which makes the story extremely choppy, and it robs us of any real sense of a long passage of time. As well as all that, we get false promises! We get, for example, at one point, a promise of the giant waterwheels, at an upcoming city, and then those water wheels are never mentioned again. The book was seriously in need of a competent book editor.
This had the potential to be a fun and engaging story for young kids, but for all the reasons I mentioned it was not and I can't commend it as a worthy read. Young kids deserve better than this.
Monday, November 1, 2021
Fight Dirty with Me by Imogen Keeper
"Stranded in a blizzard with a rugged stranger, Lex indulges her every fantasy with only one rule: no questions. But then Crowley shows up on her doorstep months later, looking for more." So this threatening-looking muscle-bound asshole on the cover stalks her to her fucking front door uninvited, and we're supposed to think "how romantic?" There's a word for the authors of this kind of garbage. What's the opposite of keeper?
Risking the Shot by Amy Aislin
"NHL forward Taylor Cunningham" Taylor? Really? "...can’t stop thinking about Dakota Cotton" Seriously? This just gets worse. "...but can single dad Dakota afford to risk everything for a man who’s so much younger than him?" Waht the fiuck is he riskiong? A few dates? Why allthe melodrama? "...Love sparks between two hockey players" Why is it always fucking hockey players? Do thes authors not use their brain at all? Do they have a formula where they just supply the names and a few twists to the plot, and a computer generates the clone story for them? Barf. Used to be a writer actually had to write. Used to be a writer actually had to know how to write....
King Arthur and Her Knights: The Complete Series by KM Shea
"When Britt is pulled back in time by King Arthur’s legendary sword," She encounters zero problems with language or with culture or with women being second-class citizens back then! How miraculous. "...she must rely on the help of the talented and handsome wizard, Merlin" Jesus Fucking H Christ on a Biscuit. Seriously? This is an exact copy of that dumb-ass Robin Hood bullshit I non-reviewed below ("Sherwood Outlaws" by Hayley Osborn) with just a few name changes. Do these authors not have an origional bone in their body?
Love Redesigned by Jenny Proctor
"When New Yorker Dani" How is she a New Yorker when she's from Charleston, dipshit? "...fails to get a job in fashion, she returns home to Charleston" (see - I told you!) "...and reconnects with her brother — and her ex, Alex. Will life in the South help her make her dreams come true?" No, because she's fricking loser! She failed with her ex. She failed with her dumb-ass fashion job - the most fatuous and pretentious occupation on the planet, and now she's running back home like the whiny ass little loser-bitch she is, and we're supposed to believe this shallow dipshit can make her dreams come true? Wasn't her dream fashion? She's an asshole, period, but at least she has a Procter-ologist.
Long Island Iced Tina by Maria DiRico
"It’s not long before things spiral out of control at a baby shower Mia is hosting at her catering hall." And who's fault is that? "First, one gift turns out to be a shocking surprise, and then a guest’s body is found nearby. Can Mia solve the mystery? " Is she a fucking cop? No! Then it's none of her goddamned meddling business. She needs to stay the fuck out of the way and let the professionals deal with it. This asshole can't even organize a babyshower; how in fuck is she going to solve a murder? Seriously?
The Last Warrior by Jennifer Ashley
"Ben, the last of an ancient warrior race, is tasked with rescuing beautiful Rhianne from the clutches of a powerful Fae lord." Of course he is, because if there's one thing far too many female writers have been ramming down our throats for decades now, it's that female main charcters are FUCKING USELESS without a guy to save them and given them meaning. Barf. Ashley and her ilk should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves for perpetuating this abusive and demeaning trash.
American Heiress by Jeffrey Toobin
"After she was kidnapped by a political group, college student and heiress Patty Hearst stunned the public by participating in robberies alongside her captors" Who the fuck cares? Seriously? Toobin is clearly stuck for ideas. This took place almost a half century ago! But I'll tell you why you must care - why you absolutely cannot not care, and it's right there in the title! She's an American heiress, because not another heiress on the entire planet Earth matters one-tenth as much as an American one! There you have it! Finally: the truth is out! LOL! Barf.
The Sin Eater's Daughter by Melinda Salisbury
Here's a 'no' right from the title. I refuse to have anything to do with novel that from the very title on down makes its main character and appendage of someone else, so Salisbury has a lto at stake.... "Twylla’s special gift" Twylla? Really? That's the best you got? "...makes her both valuable and dangerous — she can kill with a single touch. Isolated in the castle and waiting to be married to a prince, she meets a guard who doesn’t seem afraid of her power" of course she doe sbecause no matter what her power is, it;s inevitbalr the case that any woman in a YA novel absolutely requires a guy to save and vlaidate her. She;s utterly useless on ehr own. YA writers have this established in the constitution now. Woe betide anyone who disobeys their law. Barf.
The Gratitude Car by Isabelle Child, Vanity Olaires, Lana Mol
From an advance review copy for which I thank the publisher.
This work is translated from the original Spanish, I assume, and I think it lost something in the translation. Curiously this did not appear to be a language issue! I would have loved to have seen the original version, but all I get is the ebook version which unfortunately too often leaves something to be desired. I'm not Spanish speaker by any means, but I feel I understand enough of it that - in a children's book like this - I could probably have got more out of the original than I did out of this.
I enjoyed the sentiment in this much more than the execution. The idea behind it is that not everyone gets what they want. No surprises there! But you can at least enjoy what you did get or what you already have. The idea is that this one family created a little paper 'car' which was actually a truck. I'm not sure why the original 'camion' (Spanish for 'truck') was translated this way unless it's because it's hard to get good rhymes with 'truck', but since car (In Spanish, that is 'coche') is only used in a rhyme once (with jar) in the entire book, it seems like a better choice would be 'cab', maybe.
However, this book was designed as a paperback with cutout plans for your own truck, which you can glue or stick together, so they were really rather locked into the original scheme. Anyway the idea is that they fill the back of the truck with their own grateful notes - about something they got which may not have been ideal, but for which they were thankful. This is a great attitude to have, but is the irony that the artwork in this book is so poor that one really needs to fill out a note saying how grateful we are for the bad artwork, because it's better than none at all?
I honestly do not know how this English version was made, but the feeling I got, right or wrong, is that maybe there never was an electronic version of this and in order to create the English review version, the original had to be scanned into a computer and maybe have English text added to it? Whatever it was, the end result is completely unacceptable.
The electronic version I got was appallingly scrappy, with very grainy artwork and poor positioning of the English text. I can't commend a version like this. Like I said, I never get to see the print version, but I sincerely hope it's better than this; however, given that all I have to judge this by is the version I was allowed to download, I cannot commend it because the design and quality of it are a disaster. Children - especially the impoverished ones this is evidently aimed at - deserve a lot better than this.
Jake and Ava A Boy and a Fish by Jonathan Balcombe, Rebecca Evans
From an advance review copy for which I thank the publisher.
I had thought this would be another grandpa fishing story, but it turned out to be a whole other kettle of fish, and being a lifelong vegetarian myself, I fully approved! It's a great book to be reviewing as the COP26 goes on right now.
I admired the stance taken here, because it's a very hard sell in the USA where everyone grows up feeling they have the innate right to rape and pillage nature and the hell with the consequences, and very few people ever truly question it - not really question it. But the fact is that life doesn't work the way most Americans like to comfortably think it does. The world isn't our oyster. Nature isn't here for us, and it isn't endlessly resilient. Now this self-centered 'I own it' attitude is coming back around to bite us, and we're starting to learn some hard lessons.
Fortunately Jake learns an easy lesson when he goes on the traditional fishing trip with grandpa. I never did go an any trips with any grandpas, but I would definitely have been Jake had I done so! They find a nice creek to set a lure and sit there waiting for a bite. This is how we mimic the manly man 'conquering' nature. Sad, isn't it? Meanwhile we get the underwater story too, as an uncle and his niece - archer fish - go out hunting themselves, and Ava is the fish who mistakenly bites on Jake's lure.
Jake chooses compassion for the fish and lets her go. He will never know it was Ava, and she will never know it was Jake, but that was decidedly a magical moment! I fully commend this book as both a worthy read and an unexpected and unusual bonus. And I wish it all the success in the world.
I'll Go Rhythm by Justin Webb, Kayla Stark
From an advance review copy for which I thank the publisher.
This was a sweet and up-to-the-minute book of about 20 pages, creatively illustrated by Stark, and written in rhyme by Webb. It's about how people are herded and misled by the social media that most of us are hobbled to. I loved the title! Very much my kind of a play on words!
If you wanted to watch something truly scary for Halloween, you should have ditched the usual fare and watched a documentary on Netflix titled The Social Dilemma which is about how the social networks drill down on you and record your every nuance every time you do anything online. They know you better than you know yourself and they have algorithms in place to take advantage of the vast database that they own and that is you, and they will feed you things that are not intended to be necessarily in your best interest, but which are certainly intended to stroke your ego and keep you addicted to the platform you're on. There's a reason people who avail themselves of these services are called 'users'. It's the reason I have zero social media presence.
That was very much a documentary aimed at grown-ups; this book could well be the young children-accessible equivalent, right here. The story explains in terms children can understand, how your 'phantom friend' will come and lure you into seeking approval, getting those all-important likes, going down rabbit holes that reinforce themselves all along the way, and essentially wasting time getting depressed about your life and feeling bad about yourself, buoyed up just enough, now and then from the occasional thrill of finding something you like or that seems designed especially with you in mind, to keep you coming back. It's a sad and dependent way to live, and this book illustrated the dangers admirably - along with the wise choice of the girl to go her own way and follow the beat of her own drum. I commend it as a worthy read.
The Adventures of Johnny Butterflyseed by Tarisa Parrish, Stephanie Richoll
From an advance review copy for which I thank the publisher.
The United States is a nation not known for its love of monarchs - in fact, its very existence is due to overturning one. Whether that historical lack of respect has any bearing on the plight of the present day monarch butterfly is an open question, but these are modern day monarchs which are suffering every bit as much as King George 3rd did with his mystery illness. They're just suffering in a different way.
With the solid words of Parrish, based on real-life experience, and the beautiful art of Richoll and her charming butterfly girls, this book tells a short story of how every one of us can become a 'butterfly farmer' and help grow the milkweed that in turns grows the monarchs, and will help them recover from farming practices that have not been the monarch's friend - nor the friend to a host of other wildlife either.
For me the language of the story was a bit overly-florid at times, but it was about flowers and butterflies after all, so I guess I can't complain about that! I did love the story, and especially the can-do positivity, as well as the idea that everybody can pitch in here, and I fully commend this as a worthy read.
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